Christmas Eve 2007 Continued

"I'll take her Jen. Then you don't have to wake her." His voice was soft, so as not to stir the child and she nodded gratefully, raising her arms so Jethro could slip his around Sandy in the right place to lift her. After a few moments of preparing and adjusting, Jethro straightened with Sandy in his arms, secure and safe. Dusting herself off, Jenny stood as well and took a couple of the bags Jason had been carrying as she led the way towards the front door. Grabbing her keys from the sideboard, she opened the oak entrance and let the others out before locking the door behind them. She noticed in the brief moment she surveyed the street before turning that it had stopped snowing but there were still traces covering the ground. Over her shoulder, she pressed the remote unlock and when she faced the car, Jason had already opened the back door and Jethro was placing her niece ever so gently into the seat there, fastening the seatbelt across her. The tenderness in the movement choked Jenny up for a second, but she was soon moving around to slip into the driver's seat and Jason slid into the back along with his sister. As she put the key in the ignition, it occurred to Jenny that Jethro might not want to join them for the drive, in fact, he might want to go home, but she wasn't surprised when he opened the passenger side door and took the seat next to her.

The drive was a short one, though there was a heavy silence in the car that always fell at the end of an evening with her and in a way, Jenny was almost glad they were soon pulling up outside Sandy and Jason's foster parents' house. It was a cheery building, Christmas lights decorating the outside and lighting the windows along with the dusting of snow that looked like icing sugar all over the roofs. Quickly getting out, she opened Jason's door for him and saw with a sigh the slightly dampened spirits in the boy's eyes. She wished the kids could stay with her; not that these people weren't nice and good, but Jason knew the difference between them and family and soon, Sandy would too. It made it hard to leave them. Briefly pressing a hand to Jason's shoulder, she caught the look he aimed at her, telling her it was ok, but she still gave him an apologetic smile. Taking her nephew round the car, she watched Jethro raise Sandy back up into his arms. It was a miracle she hadn't woken up yet; maybe she was more tired than she looked. Keeping her head on Jason's shoulder, they approached the front door together and Jenny pressed the button for the bell.

Within a few seconds, the door was open and Beth was welcoming them inside, with a cheery smile and a welcoming arm. Beth was a wonderful woman, warm, affectionate, just the right side of plump and always smiling. Her husband, Matthew, was a sensible man, rather different from his wife in that he had quite a serious disposition but he was no less caring. Jenny explained quietly to Beth that it was probably best to take Sandy straight up to bed and she gladly motioned them towards the stairs, though her eyes lingered of Jethro because he was unfamiliar and Jen felt the question in Beth's look as she watched Jethro follow Jason upstairs.

"Beth, where would you like me to put these?" She'd discussed letting the kids open their presents from her in her house with Beth and Matt beforehand and Jenny was grateful they'd understood why she'd asked and allowed her that. Beth took the bags Jason had left at the bottom of the stairs and led her into the huge living room, standing the presents near the Christmas tree, which was very bright and full of colour. Once they were out of earshot, Beth grinned excitedly and leaned towards Jenny conspiratorially,

"So, who's the hunk?" Thinking about it, Jen should have expected the question to be phrased like that, Beth did not mince words, but she still did a double take. Her raised eyebrows and disbelieving expression expressed the 'Pardon?' she would have voiced but Beth carried on before she could speak. "Come on Jenny, he is. Where have you been hiding him?" The mistake was natural, the redhead supposed, that her and Jethro were an item, to Beth's mind why else would he be here right now? She knew Beth wouldn't believe her if she tried to explain what actually happened so she just blushed and looked away, hoping that would count as an answer. The knowing smirk Beth expressed that was quite friendly, almost mutual appreciation, spoke of satisfied curiosity and Jen thanked the Lord she wasn't going to be grilled. Just then, she heard the footsteps returning downstairs that she knew so well and looked towards the door, instinctively moving towards them. Jethro was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, a warmth battling a sadness in his eyes as he looking longingly upstairs. Jenny understood that feeling all too well.

"Jethro, are you ok here for a minute? I just want to say goodnight." She told him, a similar look to his already in her eyes. When she received his nod, she ventured past him and up the stairs, wondering briefly whether leaving Beth with the information she'd just given her in the same room as Jethro was a good idea but didn't have time to contemplate before she reached Jason's bedroom. It was blue with planets and spaceships all around the walls. He kept complaining that he was too old for it but secretly, Jen thought he was rather partial to the lurid prints. He was already in bed, leaning up against the headboard and Jen smiled as she realised his head was also nodding a little too.

"Hey." She greeted him softly, going over and perching on the edge of his mattress. He smiled half-heartedly at her and guilt flared a little inside her. "Jason, I'm sorry you can't stay with me. I wish you could. But Beth and Matt – they're nice, right?" She waited for his nod before continuing. "You'll have fun tomorrow with them, Christmas all over again! And Christmas dinner as well." The mention of food perked him up for a minute, but not long. "I am sorry." She repeated very quietly and he looked up, probably seeing the shame in his Aunt's eyes before he leant forward and drew her into a hug. For a moment, Jenny was glad and hugged him back, then he slid away and down under his duvet, pulling his pillow down to an angle as he determined shut his eyes. Withholding a regretful sigh, the redhead stood and crept out of the room, flicking off the light as she went. Next door, Sandy's door was ajar and Jenny had to squeeze by because she knew from past experience the door creaked very loudly. In the dark, she made her way carefully over to Sandy's pink bedspread and could just make out the face surrounded by curling blonde hair on the pillow.

"Goodnight Sandy." Her Aunt whispered softly, leaning over the girl and pressing a light kiss to her forehead. "I love you." It could barely be heard, but she knew Sandy understood, even if she wasn't aware of it. Gently pressing a hand against the soft hair, she nuzzled her forehead against Sandy's then withdrew, once more getting through the door with difficulty and heading back downstairs. She was too far into her own thoughts to listen in on whatever conversation Beth had been having with Jethro but they both stopped abruptly as she reached the last few stairs. She flicked a look between both of them than continued past them both to the door.

"Are you going already Jenny? I thought you two could have some eggnog with me." The offer was genuine but Jenny didn't feel like eggnog just then. She shook her head in a regretful way and jerked her head towards Jethro, as if blaming him. She felt he understood why she was refusing and perhaps wouldn't mind the implication. With widening eyes, Beth nodded back and let them go. A sinking feeling in Jen's gut told her Beth had leaped to the wrong conclusion but didn't want to correct her just now. She wanted to go home and try not to feel guilty that she hadn't been able to take her niece and nephew into her home permanently. She was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn't register a light hand at the small of her back, guiding her out of the door and towards the car, nor did she hear the door close behind them. Just as she was about to split from Jethro's side to go to the driver's side door, he took her hand and opened it to remove the keys from her possession. She went to object but he gave her a look straight in the eye that told her it was useless and she let him, going to the passenger door and shaking her head a little in amusement and exasperation while trying to ignore the way her skin was tingling from his touch.

They settled into their seats in the car and Jethro pulled them out of the drive way and onto the road. Jenny barely had time to wonder if he knew the way before he made the right turn and set off back to Jenny's house without a word. She leant her head back, suddenly feeling drained and let her eyes drift closed, wishing the ache in her heart would let up just a bit. She sensed Jethro's eyes on her every so often, short glances while he could take his eyes off the road and she couldn't work up the effort to put up a good front. She realised at that moment she didn't need to. She was with one of the few people she knew who could understand her pain in some way and that comforted her. She let the night play over in her mind, holding Sandy, talking to Jason, being close to Jethro, she could say with all honesty it was possibly the best night she'd spent in a very long time.

"You ok?" A gentle, masculine voice broke in on her thoughts, and she sighed quietly, figuring that he'd been quite restrained not asking earlier. She'd been quiet and had her eyes closed for a while.

"How'd you know I wasn't asleep?" She avoided the question, he had to know the answer anyway. Cracking open an eye, she peered at him, hoping for some sort of joke or quip rather than a genuine enquiry because she didn't particularly want to tell him she felt like crying and didn't think he'd want to hear it either. He wasn't known for his way with crying women.

"Your breathing wasn't deep enough." He replied, eyes on the road to hide what she suspected would be a warm light in them if she could see it. The answer touched her a little, that he could still tell that much about her. Of course, he could have been guessing, just come up with the answer because it was kinder, but she wanted to believe he was telling her the truth. She opened her other eye and turned her head towards him, a raised eyebrow probably just visible to him. She caught a fleeting smile at her reaction and returned the movement, her own gaze flooding with warmth. Then he quickly turned his head and looked her directly in the eye, his question repeating itself wordlessly. It seemed she wasn't going to be able to run away tonight.

"No, Jethro, I'm not." She answered very quietly, looking down at her lap as her hands twisted guiltily, and she noticed they looked quite pale in the little light available.

"Jen, those kids had a great time tonight. You saw Sandy's face when she opened those gifts, and Jason's too. You shouldn't feel guilty for that." She appreciated the effort he went to in order to reassure her but although she had made them happy tonight, what about all those other times she'd failed them? Had to rearrange seeing them because of something unavoidable at work or been interrupted because of an urgent call that couldn't wait? Their disappointment sometimes made her wonder if she should just quit her job, she could maybe afford it, then she could take the kids and give them the home they deserved. Maybe it would be worth giving up the job she loved for the people she loved.

"But I do feel guilty Jethro. Every time I leave them. They shouldn't be in the system. They should be with me and I failed them." Her voice caught several times in that speech, she knew it but couldn't stop it, her head dropping even further so there was no chance he could find her eyes. She was glad they weren't having this conversation face to face, then she didn't think she could have held it together, because speaking to her lap was so much easier than talking to his knowing eyes. Then, quite abruptly, the car swung to the right and pulled up on the curb, slowing rapidly to a stop and Jen was very glad there weren't any other cars on the road just then. Having had to fling a hand out to steady herself against the door and the dashboard, she flashed a questioning look to Jethro, only to find him staring at her with such an intensity she couldn't look away.

"Jen, listen to me." He said, his voice steady but Jenny thought she might just detect a faint shiver in his tone as well. She nodded but remained looking down at her hands, until his hand came out of nowhere and tucked underneath her chin, bringing her face up and around to see him. "Jenny. Please look at me." At that word, the one he never said, she had to look up and their eyes met again with that undeniable force. She felt her breath pause in her throat when she saw the pain in his eyes. "I know nothing I say is going to make much of a difference. You've had to live with that guilt too long by yourself. But you've still got that little girl and boy depending on you, the only connection they have left to their parents is through you. And besides that, they love you Jenny.

"You still have so much time to spend with them, you'll be part of their lives for the rest of yours and they will depend on you for so many things. They love spending time with you, they love you nearly as much as a mother and there is nothing wrong with that. You have such a lot of love to give Jenny, and you give it all to those kids, and they know that. They understand more than you think. Be happy that you have them Jenny, don't mourn for what you don't have." The roughness in his voice drew tears into both pairs of eyes, shining emerald and flashing sapphire, and she tried to swallow as the first watery trail leaked down her cheek. His mouth was twisted, blending his pain and hers into one expression and she wished she'd not let him shoulder her burden along with the ones he already carried but thought perhaps she couldn't have stopped him. Her mouth opened to draw breath and a sob escaped her, unable to be contained any longer, which prompted him to slide his hand back from her chin to the base of her head, drawing her forward to his chest and wrapping his other arm around her. She clung to his shirt, her tears seeping into the material as she pressed her face into him, a little comfort gained from his strength as everything she hadn't dealt with about Sandy and Jason came flooding into her mind.

She could feel her body shaking from the sobs, her cheeks wet with tears and her hands winding tightly into his clothing. He didn't seem to mind, just pulled her closer and leant his face against the top of her head, his warm breath spreading across her hair and providing another sense of comfort. Images flashed through her mind, the day Jason was born, the day Sandy was born, the evening she found out her brother wasn't coming home, the funeral she'd had to take her family to, the morning she received the news she'd been rejected as a possible adoption parent, seeing Jethro with Zach Wilder and wondering what might have been, the night he'd come round and asked her why she'd never had kids but she hadn't answered, the first time she'd gotten to take Sandy and Jason out for a whole day, this evening and every single wonderful moment it held. She knew she was incredibly lucky still, her mother had been right all those years ago, and Jethro was right as well. She should be grateful for what she had instead of wasting time with grief over lost opportunities. And there was no reason why in a few years time she wouldn't be able to apply again for foster parent status, maybe with a cut to her hours and the possibility of Jethro back in her life, as a friend or more, she could get Sandy and Jason permanently.

Eventually, her crying petered out and she released Jethro's shirt as he withdrew his arms, though he held the tops of her shoulder briefly so she would stay in one place. She looked up at his eyes for an answer about why and he leant forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Jenny felt her heart beat falter at the touch. It was so warm, so soothing, so consoling that any remaining tears dried up instantly. Then he drew back and refocused on the road, shifting the car into gear and steering away from the curb with a light, very slight smile. She could still feel his lips on her head as she turned to watch the street too and her smile was a little more visible than his.

Within a few minutes, she saw the end of her street and soon her house was before them. He parked and undid his seatbelt as she did the same, but just as she was about to get out, he caught her hand and brought it to his lips briefly, as if saying without words 'I'm treasuring you'. Jenny could feel heat suffuse her face at the affectionate gesture and smiled at his bright eyes, before slipping out of the car and walking up to her front door, though she nearly tripped over the front step as her legs had gone a little weak on her. She heard him following and let them both in, shrugging off her coat and taking his to hang up. It was as natural as if they had done it a hundred times before and made Jen wonder how long he was going to stay or whether she's right that he intends to finally have the conversation they were way past due for.

She led him down the hall, back into the Grotto and bent down to stoke up the fire, chucking a couple more logs on to fuel it. She wasn't aware that Jethro had not sat down until she leant back and felt his legs behind her. Flushing slightly again, she stood and turned to him, ready to have the conversation she knew was inevitable. His eyes were burning in the firelight, his pupils wide and staring right into her own. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and leant against the mantelpiece, waiting for the questions to start. It didn't take him long to choose his first one, though she suspected that it wasn't his most pressing one.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jen? About your brother, and Sandy and Jason." There wasn't any accusation in his voice, which surprised her and she suspected that maybe the indignation at her not sharing that piece of information had dulled somewhat upon meeting the kids. She even thought he might have a few reasons he'd come up with himself for why she'd kept the two such a secret. She pressed her palms together, feeling the warmth of the fire begin to heat her legs and tried to find the most honest answer to his question as she could, drawing on the strength of personality she'd learnt from him when dealing with uneasy situations.

"Because I was and still am afraid what might happen if someone from the Agency knew about them. I'm afraid of what someone from my world might do to our world. I don't talk much about work, my time with them is all about them, and I've always worried that perhaps if they did meet someone from NCIS who wasn't ready or tried to use the information later on, they'd get hurt somehow. It's a sort of maternal instinct, I think." She looked up with a smile that was also a frown at the admission and watched for his reaction. Surprisingly, she saw no annoyance at all, in fact, he nodded understandingly and accepted her explanation without reprove. She watched his eyes travel around the room, contemplating his next question, then his blue orbs settled on a corner of the room and it seemed a thought occurred to him. Even when Jenny wracked her mind, she couldn't remember what she'd placed on that particular table though it must have been something important. However, when he speaks, she doesn't think it's about what caught his attention in the corner.

"They're two great kids. Jason's going to either grow up into Abby or McGee." Jenny smiled, thinking she heard a laugh behind the statement and when she found his eyes, she knew she'd been right. "I think Sandy might be like Kate one day. She had great instincts about people, bright, caring, open hearted." It was the first time Jethro had ever mentioned Agent Todd to her and she was grateful for the insight. Abby had told her a lot of things about the woman she'd never gotten the chance to meet and everything she'd been told was good. She wished she'd met Kate Todd. Abby had told her many times they would have gotten along really well, after they'd taken stock of one another. The way Jethro's eyes warmed with the mention of the former Agent's name was enough to tell Jenny the praise Abby heaped on her friend was well deserved. She let her gaze speak for her, the regret that she'd never met Kate, the wish that she had, and the nod of her friend's reply meant he'd understood.

"Sandy's a lot like her mother, Rebecca. All the qualities you described. But she's got a little of her father's stubbornness as well." Jenny added with a sad smile. Thinking of Josh still tapped into her grief. There wouldn't be a day when she wouldn't miss her brother. "Though I can't imagine her taking to any stranger better than she did to you. In fact, I can't imagine anyone being a bigger hit with my niece and nephew. Even Jason approved and took to you, that's an not easy thing to do." Jenny told him, and he laughed, nodding in what she suspected might be agreement, as if he already knew exactly the sort of kid Jason was and he liked him. The thought again made her consider maybe that Jethro would want to see them again, there was a chance that he would become a permanent influence on their lives. "I guess I'd forgotten that." She whispered, looking down again and her fingers twiddling with the edge of a stocking hanging from the top of the fireplace, her eyes disengaging from this present time and looking back into the past, memories of Zach and kids they'd interacted with when she'd been an Agent dancing in her mind's eye.

"What?" He asked, moving closer and alighting a hand on the top of her arm then sliding it down to catch hold of her fingers, bringing her back to this time with him and her, and a low firelight. She redirected her gaze back up to his face, a small smile lifting one half of her mouth as her thoughts filled her with feelings that had never gone away.

"How good you are with kids." Her tone was soft, sensual almost and she watched his eyes dip a shade darker in the firelight. He smiled a little self-consciously at the compliment and tipped his head to regard her closely. She had to wonder what he was looking for. His thumb was smoothing over the top of her hand, his fingers warm against her palm and the gentle contact almost made her close her eyes in bliss. Then he took another step closer, pushing the space between them to miniscule and he reached up a hand to cup her cheek. The atmosphere was heady with anticipation but he held off just long enough to speak.

"You're good with them too Jenny." The way he drew out her name, the rough timbre in his voice rushing through her body as it remembered what that signalled, made her bite her lip a little. His eyes drifted from hers to her mouth and she released her bottom lip, hot breath spilling from her mouth and mingling with his. He took one last second to smile at her, his thumb brushing over her face before inclining his head and pressing his mouth to hers. A flash instantly surged through her, one that was familiar yet even stronger than she remembered and she returned the pressure, her free hand sliding behind his neck and pulling him further down to her. There was passion in that kiss, heat, just enough to make her yearn for more and when he asked, she granted him access to her mouth. He explored her gently, but with an edge of hunger and she submitted, her fingers kneading his scalp and neck in return. After a few seconds, they had to draw away and breathe, but it wasn't a moment later his mouth was back on hers, nipping at her lips and pushing against her mouth. It was pleasure such as Jenny had never felt before, an incredible release of pressure and feeling, as if the last seven years just been building up the anticipation of them once more joining together. Perhaps that's exactly what they had been.

Again, they had to part for air and Jethro used the hand on her face to draw her away from the fire, towards the couch. She followed, letting him guide her down to sit beside him before he kissed her again. This time the moment stretched out, seeming to last for years, and she disengaged her hand from his to wrap both arms around his shoulders. As he reluctantly parted from her mouth and trailed kisses and light nips at her skin down her neck, her thoughts whirled, stilling only for a moment when he applied a butterfly kiss to that one spot that made her stop breathing.

"Jen," he muttered into her ear, his breath hot and his voice very gruff, hoarse maybe, and she nodded, lost in the sensations of his mouth on her. "You remember that Christmas we spent in London?" He asked, light fingers skimming beneath her purple top and up her back, as if dancing across her skin. Feeling like a light flicked on, Jenny remembered which picture she'd put in the corner of the room, the one he'd obviously noticed and she smiled.

"Yes, Jethro, I remember." She told him, her own voice husky and full of undisguised want, the nights and days they spent in England's capital flooding through her mind, very similar to the one she suspected they were about to share now.

"Can I have a copy of that picture?" Jenny couldn't help laughing out loud at that and he drew back, eyes meeting her questioningly. Jenny could feel warmth, longing, love, running through her veins and shining in her eyes when she admitted in a low voice, with a nod to answer his request.

"That was always my favourite Christmas." Clearly he agreed with her, as he immediately moved back and pressed his lips to hers once more, pushing her back to lie on the sofa and he lay on top of her, his steady weight so familiar and so assuring. It didn't take long for their clothes to be discarded and him to sink into her, their expressions in that moment mirror images of pleasure and ecstasy. His movement was slow, to begin with, they took their time enjoying the reunion and the reassurance of being back in the other's arms but soon the pace built and they could both feel the tension coiling in their bodies until with a shout and a moan, they fell over the edge and collapsed against each other, mouths pressing to skin and breathy moans mingling in the air. In that position, they both drifted into sleep. But just as Jenny was slipping off into the bliss of dreams, she thought she heard the faint ring of the bell on her banister and she couldn't help smiling at the thought, 'Another miracle, another angel gets it's wings.'

Christmas Day 2007

It was a few hours later Jenny awoke to a soft stroke along her abdomen and Jethro breathing into her hair which she noticed had fallen down out of the ponytail some time between him guiding her to the couch and laying her down on it, but she'd been so wrapped up in him she'd not noticed. As her eyes flickered open, she also realised they'd moved in their sleep, she was now spooned against Jethro, his chest a solid, warm mass behind her back. There was a blanket thrown over them that had been on the back of the couch and what with the warmth provided by it and Jethro, and the pleasantly satisfied feeling filling her, as if she wanted for nothing just then, Jenny saw no reason to move. She nudged her body a little further back into him and let a smile drift across her lips. She knew he was awake, and felt him lean over her to press a gentle, loving kiss to her cheek.

"Merry Christmas Jenny." He whispered as he drew back, and her eyes flicked over to the grandfather clock by the door, which did indeed confirm it was past midnight and Christmas Morning was close to dawning. The redhead tipped her head back and brushed her lips against his in reply. If she'd been at a more accommodating angle, she had no doubt it would have turned into something much more heavy, but he broke away when he realised how difficult it was. She thought he'd turn her around, so they could continue what she'd started, but he lifted the arm that had been laying along the arm of their makeshift bed and pointed towards the Christmas tree, a smug smile lifting his mouth. "Look." He said, very softly in her ear, and she followed the line of his finger to the shape of an emerald-coloured parcel sitting innocently under her tree.

"That wasn't there last night." Jenny stated, a frown crawling over her features before she twigged and turned to face her lover. "Jethro, how could you have put that there? You couldn't have left the couch, I would've woken up!" She questioned but he shook his head, lips tightly sealed. Like the mystery of his boat, it would never be revealed, she knew and she pouted a little in answer. He grinned back.

"Don't you want to know what it is?" Jethro asked, a twinkle in his eye because he knew she wouldn't be able to resist unwrapping it for long. She had always been impatient. But she surprised him; she shook her head and slid a hand down his body suggestively.

"Can't be any better than what I've got here." She replied, her voice low and once more filled with want, a mischievous light in her eyes as his pupils dilated rapidly. Threading a hand into her hair, he cupped her head and gently guided her mouth up to his, the need to see her loose control, to see her lips swollen from his kisses, her hair ruffled and disordered by his hands already building within him. She smirked a little as her mouth met his and knew she'd said the right thing. As they once more began to move towards each other, each caught flashes of future Christmases spent together, Josh and Sandy sitting on the floor by the tree and them curled together on the couch, and for the first time, both of them thought about having a small someone possibly sat with them, with his blue eyes and her red hair.