Soulmate : here in the afterlife, this is all that matters

Severus Snape & Lily Evans's After-death Reunion and Forgiveness.

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I'm only playing with them.

Author's note:

Like many Severus Snape fans, I needed some comfort after reading DH. I had an intuition he was always on the right side, that Harry was totally unfair to him, that there was something up with Harry's mother…I was pretty shocked at the end of HBP…sure that there was a good explanation.

His story is so beautifully sad. He has redemption but in such a painful way…never in his life had any respect or gratitude except Dumbledore's, and he had to be the one who killed him… He had devoted all his strengths and skills to the path he had chosen the night he came to Dumbledore 17 years ago. I like to believe that he died at least in peace, mission fulfilled, faithful to Lily to the very end.

After reading a few fictions, and not really finding what I wanted to, I came to write my own. This is my first one …Enjoy!

(English is not my mother tongue …I take kindly any constructive advice)

Betaed by Lucy http :// ls269 . deviantart .com Thank you so much Lucy!

"Look….at me"

…Green eyes…

Lily, will you ever forgive me? I have done everything I could to right my wrongs…but did I?

Then there was dark, the deepest dark. And it was like he was flying, rushing away in the darkness…

..At last, I hope you make it Potter! Defeat this evil Dark Lord who killed Lily…

The monstrous pain was gone. He was lying on the ground. It was warm and soft. He had the feeling he was surrounded by a shining light, but not a dazzling one, however… He put his hands to his neck where the fangs had bitten him. He couldn't feel any wounds or blood...not even a scar.

So this is it; I'm dead and this is the after life.

He opened his eyes. Green eyes were looking at him, radiating love as he had never felt before.

Lily!

He tried to speak. But nothing came out of his mouth for now.

"Sev…you are fine now…" said her lovely voice.

The green eyes drew closer and a hand brushed his hair softly from his face. Sweet lips touched his forehead in a light kiss. A jerk spread through his body at the contact.

"Lily!" he managed to utter. He sat up and stared at her.

Is this heaven? Could it be that she waited for me?

Lily was knelt by his side, on the verge of tears.

"Lily .wha…what's wrong?..." he groaned.

I can't stand seeing you crying

She took his hands in hers. "Sev! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all you had to suffer. I'm sorry I was so hard on you that day you called me mu.."

"Shh.." Severus had put his finger on her lips. "Don't say the word, please," he whispered.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks. He felt a deep urge to take her in his arms. But he didn't. Not yet.

"I deserved all that," he said softly. "I should have listened to you long ago; I should have opened my heart to you."

He paused and held her green eyes with his dark ones.

"I love you so much, Lily. Do you know that? ....I've never told you...I wished I had before it was too late," he said gravely. "But I was too stubborn, proud, and insecure" he added, shaking his head.

"Sev!" she protested, "just pushing you away that evening was cruel of me! You were humiliated, you overreacted."

She looked for his eyes again and brushed his hair away from his face.

"All you needed was to be loved and to feel how worthy you are. I'm sorry I didn't understand that then…Things could have been different." She took a deep breath."You have been so brave;" She said, watching him with a most earnest expression. "You did more than enough to right your mistakes. You – you died this horrible way because of all you did for the cause and for Harry, Sev!"

You're so merciful.

"Lily, please…" He gave in to his urge and pulled her against him. Lily was now sobering in his arms. He tried to comfort her, gently brushing his fingers across her back. After a while she calmed down and righted herself a little. He slowly released his embrace.

"I was awful with your son. You know that," he said when her eyes met his again.

"Because he was James's! It must have been a torture to you!"

And in a swift move, she took his face in her hands, peering into the dark eyes which glowed with forming tears.

"So you forgive me Sev? "

"ME?" he yelled, "Forgive YOU?!" …Oh my Lily…" he muttered, with such a strain of despair in his voice "I am the one who should beg forgiveness. I betrayed all that you believed in and joined the Dark Lord! I relayed the prophecy to him!! I brought death to you and your husband!!"

He was breathing with difficulty – loudly, shallowly, and tears were now streaming down his face as well.

A little smile lit her features through.

"I forgive you, Severus" she said, and her green eyes glistened at him.

Really you do…you forgive me… You're so kind to me, Lily. A lifetime I waited hopelessly for this.

The warmth of gratitude and love overwhelmed him.

She drew her face even closer and kissed his lips with fervour. He gasped.

I'm so blessed…But don't fool yourself with hopeless dreams...

"What of James? " Severus moved back slightly; the pain of despair and jealousy were rushing back upon him.

"Sev," she replied softly, "James is a very good friend; he was my husband, he's the father of my son…I had to lose you to understand this but," her voice steadied, "my only soul mate...it's always been you, Sev. And here in the afterlife, that's all that matters."

Severus gasped again, his dark eyes shining.

"You mean..?" he said in a very low voice.

He was staring at her, an eyebrow raised, not completely sure of what to believe, or to hope?

"Yes Sev... I do love you." She stated, firmly, her green eyes piercing directly to his soul.

"And we are together now and always…"

"Always…" He sighed, feeling the last burden of pain and bitterness evaporate from him. Blessed warmth spread to his whole being.

An eternity of bliss…

He straightened his arms around her and, drawing his face to hers very slowly, kissed her back with his full heart and soul, and she lost herself in his embrace. They stayed like that, tightly cuddled up to each other, enjoying being together after so long a separation.

After a while, they heard some voices, exclamations of joy.

"Harry! He made it! And he survived!"

So the Potter boy did it. All that fighting had not been in vain.

Lily stood up and took his hand, to help him to his feet. Reluctantly, he got up.

"Come on Sev, let's join them!" she said, smiling.

Hand in hand, they walked towards the clamour through the white mist. It gradually evaporated, and they found themselves strolling on a brilliant green lawn, like Hogwarts's grounds on a sunny afternoon.

Then he saw them: a crowd of people congratulating each other. He began to feel uneasy and stayed his steps, but Lily led him forward. They came closer and he discerned Remus Lupin and Tonks amongst the rest.

So you didn't make it, you two.

Next he saw Dumbledore, Sirius Black and James Potter. They were beautiful and shiny, as if death had wiped out all their worries and pains.

His discomfort grew, but Lily smiled at him encouragingly. Not without a pinch of pride and shrewd satisfaction, he drew a hand around her waist and they moved forward. Dumbledore came to meet them first. His blue eyes sparkling and peering at Severus, he put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm proud of you Severus, very proud."

You manipulative old man…and your greatest good…your plan worked!

But his anger was gone, and he smiled in return. The old man patted his arm and released him, wiping his eyes. He shifted aside to leave, and Lupin gave him a short, wordless but meaningful hug. Black gave him an amused look from where he stood and James stretched a hand out, which Severus took awkwardly after a second or two.

"Thanks Snape!" said James loudly. He winked at both Lily and Severus and stepped back beside Black.

Severus's dark eyes searched for Lily's green ones. She beamed at him, filling him with her love.

…his Lily… Always…