Based on the song by Evanescence - Missing

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Please, please forgive me,

But I won't be home again.

She was thinking about leaving, maybe she should leave, start a new life again, somewhere far far away, leave him there with her

she doesn't have a chance, she can't win, but there was still a hope

She hoped that maybe one day he will forgive her for how bad she hurt him and maybe he will know that she didn't mean to, that he hurt her many times before and after it.

Maybe someday you'll look up,

And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:

"Isn't something missing?"

If I leave will he notice? will he care? Should I tell him good bye? What if he doesn't care?

You won't cry for my absence, I know -

You forgot me long ago.I'm not that one who have his heart.

I'm not his wife anymore. Not because of divorce, I stopped being his wife 5 years ago, 5 years ago he stopped coming home and telling me that he loves me, 5 years ago he stopped giving me his charming smile, his heart was in her hand not mine.

Am I that unimportant...?

Am I so insignificant...?

What if I went missing, would he...?

Her pager were beeping. Emergency. Some idiots has stolen the boat with 100 people, they were shooting and so many people are dying right now that they need everybody, every doctor, every assistant, every nurse.

Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me?

No one even knew where the shooters are, everybody can be killed right now, here but no one cares, doctors are there because they have to save lives and that's what they are doing right now.

Even though I'm the sacrifice,

You won't try for me, not now.

She was taking care of pregnant woman who had damaged hand and some burns on her belly when she saw Meredith who was trying to help some guy who had bullet on his hand.

Addison tried to concentrate about her own patient and when she was ready she looked at Meredith at the time when she was falling into the water.

She saw her and called for her but it was too late.

Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone.

Isn't someone missing me?

She was running for help but in the same time, the burglars were there with their guns and they started to shoot again. When Addison were running she felt like something is stopping her moving, like she can't run so fast as before.

"What's wrong? why I can't breathe?"

She looked at her chest why she can't breathe so well and she saw it, she saw like the bullet is going more and more under her skin.

Please, please forgive me,

But I won't be home again.

She saw faces, she heard screaming she saw people were running from one place to other.

She saw Derek and tried to scream but her voice was so small, she felt tired.

I know what you do to yourself,

I breathe deep and cry out,

She saw Izzie who noticed Addison's patient, she saw how they pick up the pregnant woman and took her to the ambulance car.

She smiled to herself because she knew Stevens will be the great doctor.

"Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me?"

She saw Mark how he is helping people, she knew better than anyone how much he loves to help people, they have made fun of him because he is a plastic surgeon but he can be a good hero. She was proud about him.

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,

Knowing you don't care.

And then she saw him for the second time, he carried Meredith in her arms.

She breaths so slowly, she can feel her heart's beating, she can hear some voices but she doesn't know who it is.

She sees dark.

"Derek please forgive me, I love you"

And if I sleep just to dream of you

I'll wake without you there,

She tries to catch the last breathe but she gives up, she can't do it more, she can't fight for something what doesn't have any chance. she gives up, Addison Mongomery stopped trying.

Isn't something missing?

Isn't something...

She was found by Richard Webber, her mentor, her father, her friend and supporter. She died all alone and nobody held her hand when she was dying, nobody stroked her hair.

She was alone.

Meredith's afterlife

Meredith were sitting there with Denny and Dylan when someone came.

"Meredith you should go."

"Dr. Montgomery what are you doing here?"

"I'm here Addison to tell you that you should go, you should live"

"Are you....?"

"Yes I'm and he choose you, he choose you over me. He saved you not me, he loves you not me, you are the love of his life. Don't make him sad, it would kill him if you die. Go and fight for your life."

"Meredith you should go........keep fighting, go, you are more than this, you can do this"

"Mum"

"Meredith you were always the best, I'm sorry that I was indifferent I'm sorry I wasn't there but now, you should listen, go and do it better, you have another chance not like us, go and do your best"

"Mum"

She hugged her and whisper "I love you mum"

"I love you too"

"Dylan I'm sorry, forgive me please, you died instead of me"

"No I didn't Meredith, it was my Destiny, I did what I had to do. you should stop stop thinking about it, it wasn't your fault"

"Denny, Izzie loved you so much, I feel sorry what happened but let her go"

"Tell Izzie that I will be there for her, I'll be waiting"

"Addison I'm sorry"

"Me too, Meredith me too"

and she left, they watched her left and Addison felt like she wanted to cry but she couldn't.

Would he care?

Meredith is stable

"My mother died, right?" she asked Derek with cold eyes.

"I'm sorry Mer."

she nodded

Derek took her hand.

"Addison is dead"

"What?"

"Addison died"

Derek stopped thinking, he had nothing to say.

"No no Addison is ok"

"No she isn't. go and ask Richard"

When he found Richard he saw him crying, he never saw this man crying but right now he was in pain, he cried............

"Richard...Meredith is ok"

"They died"

"I'm sorry that Ellis is dead......"he needed to hear it, he didn't believe that she is gone

"Addison is dead, she is dead and you, you left her die!!"

"No Richard I ........."

he left him alone and walked around the hospital when he saw like paramedics carried her body.

Later the day when Richard decided to look at Ellis and Derek wanted to fallow him.

they were sitting there, both with sadness in their eyes, both broken.

"I loved her"

"I loved her too"

"Maybe this is the time to forgiveness?"

"I hope you will forgive me that I left you for my wife, I hope you will forgive me that I didn't build a house for our kids, I hope you will forgive me for all the pain that I caused you. I loved you and I still do. I hope you forgive me just like I did" and Richard kissed Ellis's cold lips.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me, I'm sorry that I missed your birthday, I'm sorry I missed so many years, so many days, so many minutes, seconds, I would give everything for changing time. I loved you and I always will, you will be my first love for my whole life. Please forgive me because I did it long time ago. I'm sorry for hurting you"

and they left

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