"What Could Have Been"

An Invader Zim fanfic

My heartbeat stopped as I looked down at the item in my hand.

After what seemed like forever I breathed in again and my heart continued like nothing had happened. The whole room was exactly as before. I looked down at it again.

It was a long purple metal thing. It wasn't like the kind of metal you'd expect from a soda can, or a table, or even the kind that would keep vampire wolf bee-pig babies at bay. No, it seemed more like the kind that would come from a spaceship. The kind that come every Tuesday or from the alien robots that destroy parts of the city every week. But no one ever seems to notice that. They just build it back to the exact way it was before. I'm the only one that knows about all these things: aliens, robots, demon moose-babies. They all tell me that it doesn't exist. But they're wrong! They all say I'm crazy! But…well…

Anyways, I turned it around in my hand. It must be worn as some kind of bracelet. I turned it back around to the small screen with green text and a button on it:

SELF-DESTRUCT

It must have been for some alien or vampire to self-destruct themselves.

I suppose I really should get back to why this thing…This thing I found in a box in my basement affected me so. I tried to shove this strange feeling aside. The last thing I needed was for more emotions that I didn't want to come up. Becoming a cold machine not bound by feelings and needs is a lot harder than you might think. At this rate my quest to become completely emotionless was going down the drain.

My chest swelled up with a feeling I couldn't name as I stumbled back into the chair and the memory attached to this little device started to wash over me.

I don't remember much of my life. All I really remember is living in this house, but I know I didn't always live here. I've always hated this miserable little shack. The wooden walls with splinters and stains covering it. This particular room had at least three painting of mine on the walls, all of the monsters that were in my head, begging to come out. It's very rare that a significant memory comes to me, but this seemed to be one of those times. I didn't really want to remember for fear of bringing back old emotions that I didn't want to feel. But it seemed that my mind gave me no choice.

My eyes widened as the sights, sounds, and colors of what seemed like an entirely different life started to flood my senses. And suddenly I started to remember…

***

My name is Dib. Last names aren't important. And I know what you're thinking. 'Oh, Professor Membrane's son? The crazy one?' But I'm not crazy!! They always say visionaries are crazy before they're proven right. Soon the world will know that Bigfoot, ghosts, and aliens are real! They'll know that I was right about Zim! They'll see I'm not cra-

"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!!!"

I glared at the girl; she gave me a strange look and walked off. "I never said anything…loser…" I can feel my eye twitch in anger. There are always people making fun of my head, even though it's normal sized, or sometimes my scythe-shaped hair.

But that's not important at the moment. What's important is that I find Zim. I stood outside of the Skool and looked around for him. He hadn't been in class that day. Probably working on his next plan to destroy all mankind. I'm the only one who sees through his pathetic disguise and sees him as the horrible alien he really is! My younger sister, Gaz, already started for home after waiting for me for about two minutes.

I sighed and looked around at the empty front yard. I guessed Zim wasn't hiding in the bathroom concocting some evil potion to turn everyone into rabid death bunnies after all. I adjusted my glasses and pulled up my trench coat to protect from the cold wind.

I think I had only taken a few steps before the ground started to rumble and shake. Suddenly, an explosion went off in the distance and I gasped. Right away sirens started to wail and people with megaphones in their hats came around.

"EVERYONE GET INSIDE! THAT EXPLOSION LET OUT BAD GASES INTO THE AIR!" The man had accidentally aimed the megaphone at someone's ear and he was now on the floor screaming about his ear and giant fruit flies.

I knew who had caused this right away, Zim. I started to run towards home as quickly as I could. I could see my sister up ahead. What was she doing still walking? I grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the house. "Gaz, come on! We have to get home quickly!!"

She looked up from her video game and glared at me, and it felt like her hazel eyes were burrowing into my soul. She pushed me away and turned her head so all I could see was her purple hair. "Go away Dib!!!! I'm trying to finish this level."

I knew the horrors people suffered through for bothering her while she was playing a game, or taking the last pizza or soda, or even talking to her while she was drawing. I had suffered through it myself. That horrible toilet!! The sight of the toilet from the pig demon netherworld dimension flashed into my head and I shuddered as I remembered having to clean it with my head. No, there was no way I would ever give my sister pig powers or bother her in any way ever again. We were close to home anyways so I ran ahead and into the house, up the stairs, and into my room. I glanced at the drawing that I did up on the walls. I recently started drawing the monsters, ghost, and other supernatural phenomenon that I've seen. Surprisingly, I've found out that I like drawing almost as much as the supernatural. I think I'll start trying out paints soon.

I threw my backpack onto the bed and went straight to the computer. (I could hear the door to my sister's room close.) I typed in the site for the Swollen Eyeball Network and got to work telling them about any supernatural findings. And about Zim not coming to Skool. But I think they've stopped believing me that Zim's an alien. It all started with a waffle incident. I put a spy camera in Zim's house, but every time I tried to show Agent Darkbooty or one of the other agents that stupid alien wasn't doing anything. Not even the FBO will believe me after I told them about the ninja ghost in my toilet, but I got rid of it without them. No one that I know knows of this secret society trying to uncover the supernatural and bring respect to paranormal investigators all over the world except me and my sister Gaz.

I'm not sure how long I was talking to them before the doorbell rang.

I turned my head as the ringing reached my ears. It was probably some reporter or world leader come to see my dad. I didn't have any friends and Gaz just played her video games all the time. I came down the stairs and looked around the corner. I couldn't see who was at the door, but I could see my dad in his lab coat and goggles nodding at whoever was there.

"Well of course you can stay here little foreign boy!" Dad went back down to his lab and I waited until the last of his own scythe-shaped hair disappeared. I quickly walked over to see who was at the door. My eyes quickly narrowed at our new guest.

"Zim!" The alien turned towards me and glared back. The Irken seemed to be a mess, he had small scratches across his light green skin and his pink invader's outfit was ruffled in odd places. He straightened out his rose pink shirt, I wondered why he didn't also fix his wig, which hid his two antennas, which was askew, making it look obviously fake.

"Dib-stink!" The extraterrestrial grinned, showing off his zipper teeth. I could practically see his red eyes glowing behind the purple contact lenses. He goose-stepped past me, just inviting himself in. He pulled on the leash of his evil robot. He was in his green dog suit disguise chewing on a piece of metal he must have found in the yard. He giggled and came next to Zim. "You're too late larvae! Your parental unit has already invited the AMAZING ZIM to stay, inviting his own DOOM and destruction!"

"You won't get away with this Zim! I'll stop you if it takes forever!" I ran down to my dad's lab. He had never believed my before about Zim being an alien, but maybe with him here he would. "Dad! Dad!"

"Yes son, what is it? This doesn't have anything to do with Bigfoot, does it?" He turned around and looked down at me. "Or the walking dead?"

"No! No! Dad, how could you let Zim stay?! He's an alien!" I didn't understand how he couldn't see it. How could no one see it?! He had green skin!

"His house is too far away to get to with this poisonous gas outside. This was the closest house. You can't just make his stay outside because he's green!" He turned back to his work. It was probably how to solve world hunger with giant fast food or maybe even better super toast.

I ran back up to find Zim. There was no time to try to convince my dad. Zim could be destroying our house or finding ways to destroy the earth. I came up and found Zim at our fridge.

"Gir!!!! Get out of there! Don't eat the human's filthy food! Who knows what they put in it!" He pulled on a leash and his robot flew out of the fridge holding a Cherry Poop Cola.

"YAY!!!!! Ice cream!!!" He gulped down the whole can and collapsed on the floor.

"That was MY soda!!!" Gaz shoved past me and picked up the robot. "I will get my soda back! One way or another." She dragged him back up with her as he giggled about his own doom. I was starting to wonder about how advanced Zim's race was. But maybe it was a trick and his robot was really a mastermind. A tapping noise reached my ears and I turned back to Zim. He was sitting at the kitchen table looking away from me and tapping his three fingers on the table.

"What are you up to Zim? I know you're up to something." Zim stopped and looked at me.

"You know nothing filth-meat! My BRILLIANT plan is already underway and soon your insides will turn into….JELLY!!!!!" He laughed evilly and I glared at him.

"If you've got such an amazing plan then why did you come here all scratched up? Huh?!" I shoved his chair and he glared at me with one squinted eye. We continued to glare at each other for what must have been at least a minute. Finally, Zim looked away.

"My plan to destroy the earth and enslave all humans with a radioactive wombat backfired and caused the explosion and the gas in the air…Perhaps a zombie wiener dog would have worked better….BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!" He shook his fist in my face.

"You just told me Zim….And how do you get gas from a radioactive wombat?..." I crossed my arms and waited for an answer.

"Eh? Uh? DO NOT QUESTION ZIM!!!!!" He jumped down from the chair and shoved his finger in my face. "Your inferior human mind could not comprehend such things. Only a superior IRKEN mind can know such....sciency…things…" While he was talking I had walked over to the sink, turned it on, and grabbed the spigot. I aimed it at Zim and sprayed him with water. He fell to the ground and screamed. A small amount of smoke came up from him.

"HA! You can't even remember to take a paste bath Zim! How superior can you possibly be?!" I turned the water off and watched him stand up slowly.

"Pathetic worm-pig!!!! You don't know the meaning of superior!! You will be the first to be enslaved to Zim! You'll never defeat me!!!! I am ZIM, THE RELENTLESS!!!!" I narrowed my eyes as I started to go up the stairs. I had to tell the Swollen Eyeball Network about this.

"One day Zim. One day you'll think you're winning. But then you'll turn around and I'll be there. Doing stuff!!! And that stuff will be your downfall." Zim crossed his arms.

"What stuff?" I didn't bother answering him and ran up the stairs. I quickly started to type and told them about Zim's plan and how he was the cause of the gas and explosion. It may have been a few minutes later when I can down again. I was sure Zim would be up to something…evil! When I got down it felt like hours may have passed. It was completely quiet. I thought that seemed strange. Quiet? With Zim in the house? I softly tip-toed into the kitchen and found Zim rubbing his eye and hold some alien device.

"NOOOO!!!! MY TALLEST!!!!" My eyes widened as I realized what he was doing.

"You're calling your leaders? Why? I know you haven't figured out a way to destroy us. It's only been a few minutes." Zim jumped in surprise and twisted around. He quickly collected himself and turned away.

"It's none of your business earth-stink!" He put the device away in his PAK. I remembered the time that I had stolen it. Apparently, in the PAK was Zim's life force and his very being. After I stole it it attached itself to me and I started to become Zim. "I HATE this pathetic ball of filth and….piggies…I'm starting to wonder if this is even worth it…" he had mumbled the last part to himself, but I could still hear it.

"What?..." stepped closer to here him. It was very likely that it was some evil trick, but something told me that it wasn't. Zim turned and his eyes narrowed.

"Not that it's any of YOUR business Dib-worm, but…" A sigh. "Sometimes, a thought comes into my AMAZING Zim brain! That…maybe...perhaps…my Tallest don't respect me or even like me as much as I think they do. Like that time they made puppets of themselves or when they said they thought I was insane…" Suddenly, he grinned. "But of course I know it's not true. I am Zim!!! Of course they respect me!! I was in Operation Impending Doom 1, I made them sandwiches, I almost annihilated our civilization!! They even gave me a vacation on Foodcourtia! They're impressed!!! And how could they not be! I am the greatest invader who has ever liiiiiiiiived!!!!!" By this point he had turned away from me and had his hands in the air. "I know they respect me. If they didn't I wouldn't be here to destroy this puny planet. But there's one thing even I don't get." He turned around and faced me. "How can the Dib-monkey want to save these humans when these pig-smellies don't like or believe the Dib…" I wasn't sure anymore if he was even really talking to me. My mouth opened as I started to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure why I wanted to save them. All they ever seemed to do was make fun of me. But how could I know save them? They're my fellow human beings. But had saved them countless times from Zim's evil schemes and they never once thanked me. They just laugh at me, or give me a wedgie, or call me weird. Even my dad says I'm insane. And a lot of times they don't even see what Zim really is when it's right in front of their faces. Something in my head just said to give up, that no one would ever believe me. Maybe I should just let Zim take over the Earth. Maybe then they'd believe me and beg for me to help them. Maybe Zim taking over would be for the best. And maybe it was right.

"I...I don't know…" I looked up at Zim to see his rubbing his eyes again. "…What are you doing?..." he gritted his teeth and continued to rub at them.

"These stupid lenses are so scratchy! I don't know how you humans can live with eyes like these. My superior Irken ocular implants are much better!" It was then that I decided. There was no way I'd just let Zim win, but there was no reason to chase Zim everyday either. Not when I'd never get a 'thank you' or any recognition besides being the crazy kid with a big head. They'd believe me one day. They'd have to. But I figured that it didn't have to be today.

"You can take them off. I won't tell anyone, not that they'd believe me…" He stared at me for a moment, as though he was trying to figure out if I was lying. Finally, he took off the lenses, revealing his red eyes.

"None of your tricks will work on Zim Dib-worm, but if you even try I will liquefy your squeedilyspooch and feed it to the roboparents." He took off his wig and moved his two antennas around. "That's better." Suddenly, something came bouncing down the stairs making a loud metallic sound. Zim's robot stopped at the foot of the stairs and laughed. The head of his disguise was off and his head was put on upside down. He got up and walked over to me, waving enthusiastically.

"Hi Mary!!!! Scary sister was lots of fun!!! We rode mooses!!!!" Gaz came down next with a can of Cherry Poop Cola.

"I said I'd get my soda back." She took a drink and Zim's robot ran over to the fridge and started rummaging through it again.

"Gir! I said no eating the human's filth!!!" Zim tugged on the leash, causing the little robot to fly out. His head flew into the air and back on right side up.

"I gots yummy tacos!!!!" He held a box of frozen tacos above his head. Zim turned back to me.

"So now what Dib-human and Dib-sister? Zim will not just sit around all day!" I thought for a moment. There wasn't really that much to do. All I ever did was try to catch Zim or watch Mysterious Mysteries or talk to the Swollen Eyeball.

"Well….We could play Vampire Piggy Hunter 4: Swine of Doom. If it's okay with Gaz…" I turned to her to get her okay. She just looked at me. She wasn't beating me up or yelling at me, that was a good sign. I ran over to the couch and started up the game.

"Okay, the goal is to shoot as many pigs as possible." I took a controller and handed another one to Zim. I got up on the couch.

"Stupid human. Now Zim can bring about your doom in this game as well as real life!!!!" He got on the couch and played around with the controller. The game started and even after several minutes neither of us had gotten any piggies.

"Ugh! You're doing it all wrong!" Gaz put in the rest of the controllers and got on the couch with us. Gir sat down next to Zim and picked the last controller. He put it on his lap while he chewed on a frozen taco. "Now you'll see how to really play." The game started up again and this time we actually got somewhere. I grinned and laughed. I wondered if this is what having friends was like.

"Ha! Did you see that?! I got it!"

"Zim demands that you die stupid earth-pigs!!!"

"Lookit me go!!!! I'm doin' it!!!!! Piggies!!!!"

"None of you will ever beat my high score!"

***

I wasn't sure how late it was when my dad came and told us that it was safe to go out again, (Zim hid his face in a pillow and said that he had suddenly gotten an air allergy) but I felt kind of sad that Zim had to go. I was now at the front door, saying good bye to him and Gir. Zim straightened his wig and opened the door.

"Good bye Dib-monkey. After this moment we will go back to being enemies and I will send my radioactive weasel after you. I will prove myself to the Tallest and I won't let some human stand in my way." I could hear a hint of sadness in his voice. "This…'friendship'…thing could never work out between us anyway. I am an invader and invaders don't need such things as friends or sleep." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, you shouldn't think that any of this means that I won't stop trying to stop you and your evil. Everyone will see you for what you really are one day and I'll make sure of that." Zim smirked .

"Well, if you want to believe that we have some kind of friend thing then take this." A small device came out of his PAK and landed in his hand. I remembered it as being some kind of self-destruct device. Zim was about to use it on himself when he thought that he'd be found out on his first day here. He handed it to me and I took it. "Because a friend of Zim's would help with the mission. If you use it there will be one less human to destroy." He grinned and I smirked.

"Thanks a lot space boy! Bye." Zim tugged on Gir's leash.

"Come on Gir!" Gir jumped onto Zim's head.

"Can I sleep on master's head?!" Zim groaned and left with Gir sleeping on his head.

After that things went back to normal.

***

And that's how I ended up in this chair, staring down at this little device, shaking from emotions that this one little memory brought up. I can't believe that I once had a kind-of friend. I can't believe that I once had a family and that my name was Dib. And that I once wanted to be a paranormal investigator. For as long as I can remember I've wanted to paint. I've called myself Johnny all these years.

I look up at the mirror (I'm not sure how I got here in the bathroom) and look at myself. My skin's now a sickly yellow color. There are big bags under my big brown eyes, as though I haven't slept in ages. Dark blue hair on my head. I'm not sure when I started coloring it. I must be the skinniest person alive. And the black and white stripes only make me seem skinnier.

I've lived in this horrible little house for as long as I can remember. Alone. I've lost my creativity to a monster that lived in my wall. I'm insane. I've killed people and hated the world so much that I've attempted suicide and even succeeded once.

I had nothing left to lose.

This Zim might be my last hope to have a life. A something-close-to-happy life with a good friend. And there's no way I'll pass this up.

So I'll take my backpack and fill it with all the necessities (toothbrush, Brainfreezy, assorted knives) and I'll walk out the door.

I don't know if I'll ever find him, but it's certainly worth the chance.

Disclaimer: All characters are created by Jhonen Vasquez, known as El Squezz in crime circles. All characters except Johnny are © Nickelodeon or Viacom.

Author's Note: I did this story for a school assignment. I had about a week and a half to write a short story. It only had to be 3 to 4 pages, but this ended up being 14. Since my teacher does watch Invader ZIM I put less effort into keeping them in character, but I still think it's pretty close. I'm not sure if I got Dib right. Also, because of the time limit there are a couple of places where there are lines similar from the show. I hope at least some people still find it entertaining though.

I just got it back and I got an A+!!!