A/N: First attempt at a Psych story...you probably know me from the CSI: Miami fandom but don't worry, I'll try to remain loyal to this awesome series. Will be Lassie/Shawn because I'm a sucker for it. Reviews are welcome!
characters (c) USA
1, The one where Gus and Shawn meet Jane
Twenty and some years ago, eight-year-old Shawn Spencer was walking home from school when he suddenly had the urge to look up his front porch. And once he did, he was greeted with a water balloon full with ketchup. "You fell for that old thing? It's always one step forward, two steps back with you…" Shawn's father, Detective Henry Spencer reprimanded. "Why ketchup?" the tomato-ridden boy asked without hesitation; he should've seen this one coming. "Because sometimes gravity can be your best tool and your worst enemy. And if I were you, I'd run before Mrs. Maloney's Chow Chow catches a sniff from you; that dog loves ketchup."
~000~
"Sweet! I scored tickets to Friday's Jane Janet concert!" Burton "Gus" Guster exclaimed gleefully before kissing his computer. "Say what? Are you for real?!" Shawn Spencer, head 'psychic' over at Psych Detective Agency, sprang to life. "I kid you not, my dearest computer-challenged friend; I placed the winning bid over at eBay Events and now we are set for a night of beautiful ladies strutting their stuff—" "First of all, don't call me computer-challenged because I could've googled our asses on my cell phone by the time you got access to ENIAC over there. Second, I wanna make love to you all-night-long, so preached Lionel Ritchie, for what you just did." Shawn interrupted his partner while wiggling his finger mockingly.
"Anyways, I'm calling Connie…" Gus started off. "Granny-Panties Connie from Accounting over your day job? Might as well go out with Three-Toe Terry while you're at it. Meanwhile, I'll take the spoils, i.e. Hot Marketing Assistant Lady." In that instant, the office phone rang, signaling both of them to shut up. "Psych Detective agency." Gus greeted before a stern female voice scolded, "Gus, it's the Chief, we need you here asap." By here, she meant the Santa Barbara Police Department, Shawn's primary source of income and enjoyment. "We'll be right there!"
Over at SBPD, Shawn and Gus arrived just in time to catch Chief Karen Vick. "Spencer, Guster; my office." The pair did as they were told and were instantly flabbergasted; in the guest seat was Jane Janet, pop sensation, crying her green eyes dark. "And what do I owe the overwhelmingly lucky pleasure?" Shawn dove right into the woman's hands.
"*Sniff* I heard all about your agency with the museum thing so I thought you'd be able to help." Jane Janet replied as she searched her humongous designer bag for something. Suddenly, everyone heard a sarcastic chuckle from the door, "Really?" Head Det. Carlton Lassiter spat while Junior Det. Juliet "Jules" O'Hara nudged him quiet. "Lassie, the pretty single lady is talking to me, wait your turn. You are single right? Or have the tabloids been lying to the unsuspecting public?" Shawn retorted, not taking his eyes off Jane.
"I found this while I was doing my sound-check here in Santa Barbara." Jane finally said as she took out a severed hand stored in a Zip-Lock bag. "OH MY GOD!" Gus yelped, his back slammed against the wall, everyone else drew back repulsed. "Ms. Janet! Why didn't you me about this earlier?!" the Chief yelled while taking the item off the pop star's hands and handing it to Lassiter. "Carlton, take this to CSI—" "Don't psychics need a body part to find a person's spirit?" Shawn subtly shifted his focus to her hands; they looked a bit smudged.
"Ms. Janet, did you cut off the hand yourself?" "Well, yeah; it came from an arm and it couldn't fit in this bag." Jane responded. Lassiter couldn't help but roll his eyes as Gus shuddered. "Good enough. I'll try to do my best but believe me; you've done the right thing…" the fake psychic closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Before starting off his theatrics, Shawn had noticed a particular bruise along the fingers; a post-mortem version of what one would receive if one tripped. "I sense that…this arm…it's telling me something…I'm somewhere with a ledge…I can't see if I'm high or low, hot or cold…" he rambled on, shaking violently to add to the drama. "Really?! Omigawd, you're good! My concert stage has a lot of ledges!" Jane Janet exclaimed cheerfully while the rest of the room's inhabitants were unimpressed.
"At least it's something; you four will escort Ms. Janet to her concert venue. O'Hara, Guston, accompany her while Spencer, you're going with Lassiter." Karen ordered, causing Gus to make a victorious gesture while Lassiter grimaced.
"Um, Chief, I request that I stay with Ms. Janet; you know, to keep the spirits flowing? They cannot be stopped, they compel me…" Shawn argued fruitlessly as O'Hara took the pop star over to her desk. "Nope. You were practically devouring her with your eyes. So until you get there, no more contact with her." She explained.
"Well, let's go, Spencer; don't wanna keep your fan-girl waiting." Carlton growled, grabbing his coat. "Just twenty more minutes and we'll be reunited, my love…" Shawn added dreamily, figuring out how to woo such a celebrity, granted it wouldn't take much, by how things looked.