Hey everyone, this is my first ever fanfiction - I hope it's alright! I had a few issues with chapters etc but hopefully it's all sorted now! If not just let me know! Thanks to those of you who have commented already you guys are quick! Anways it's my first day back at uni today so I'll try and get some more done before things get too busy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight masterpiece - thought I wish it - all honours go to Stephanie Meyer.

Prologue

Esme.

Columbus, Ohio. 1921

I walked slowly up the ever-steepening hill; the forest growing thicker by the minute and the sun almost completely shut out by the thick cover of tree top foliage. Every now and then a determined scrap of sunlight would work its way through, casting eerie shadows on the forest floor.

The temperature had dropped, the warm early afternoon sun blocked from warming my back, and I now shivered and pulled my thin jacket tighter across my hunched shoulders. I kept my head down as I walked aimlessly, stumbling over fallen branches and rocks that I didn't see. I honestly could have been anywhere and not known it. My mind was far away, back in the small room where I'd stood not even a week ago and heard that news that pushed me over the edge. A shudder ran through me as I remembered…

Black spots danced in front of my eyes as I gripped the doorframe of my sparse little home. The doctor knelt on the cold hard floor, his hand feeling the pulse in my tiny sons little wrist. The room was jarringly silent except for the rattling wheezes that emanated from Grant's tiny chest. It was sporadic, punctuated by coughs that shook his whole body and sent an ice-cold rush running through my veins. A lung infection, that's what the doctor had said. All I could do was keep him warm and try and get him to eat and drink; I couldn't afford to take him to the hospital and even so he said there was little they could do. Please God, not my little boy, not this one too…

"Please my sweet little one…" My fervent plea – a mere mummer – went unheard by the doctor as he pressed the stethoscope to my sons heaving chest.

I watched in horror as the doctor turned away from Grant's body with a sigh and packed his belongings into the black bag on the floor. My heart began to stamp out a frantic beat and the black spots danced wildly. What was he doing? There had to be something else? He wasn't giving up was he?

The look in the doctor's eyes as they finally met mine confirmed what I already knew but had avoided until now. "I'm so sorry Ms. Platt, there's nothing else I can do."

I nodded stiffly, my heart going cold in my chest. The doctor walked to my side and placed a hand on my arm. "I've made him as comfortable as I can."

I stepped aside, my eyes never leaving Grant's little face as the doctor made his way down the rickety stairs and out into the night. On wooden legs I walked the three strides over to Grant, a tiny bump on the pile of blankets. Kneeling by his side I drew him into my arms and rocked him gently humming our favourite song as quiet tears slowly streamed down my face. I sat there, holding him close and savouring each moment as dawn began to slowly break over the mountains. With a shaking finger I brushed his blonde silky hair to the side, placing a kiss on his brow. Two years old, I'd only had two years. "God please…" my voice broke and I pressed my face into his chest trying to ignore the rattle; breathing in his sweet smell. As the sun rose over the mountains Grants little body heaved a final breath and then he was gone.

My breath came in short gasps as I stopped, arms clasped tightly around myself, and waited for the tree's to stop spinning. Falling onto my knee's hard sobs made it even more difficult to breathe and I fell to the ground, not caring if I ever got up again. I curled into a ball and rocked from side to side, just like I had holding Grant those last few hours, tears streaming down my face and soaking into the already damp earth.

I'm not sure how long I lay there for - crying out and begging God to kill me, to end my misery and take me to heaven to be with my babies - but when my breath finally became even I knew what I would do.

Standing, I now walked with purpose up the steep hill. Each step bought me closer to my goal and the burn in my muscles only served to spur me on. I finally broke out into the clearing I had been looking for and walked slowly towards the cliff's edge. Taking in my last deep breath of fresh air I smiled in anticipation; soon it would be all over and I would once again hold Grant in my arms. I gave no thought to the possibility of pain and calmly threw myself over the edge.