Survivor: Vampire Island

DISCLAIMER: Hellsing and its characters are the property of Kouto Hirano and Shonen Gahosha Co. LTD./Hellsing K.G; Twilight and its characters are the property of Stephenie Meyers and Little, Brown and Company; Survivor is the property of CBS Broadcasting Inc. and Mark Burnett Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just trying to have a little fun.

Chapter 1

Welcome to Vampire Island

"Welcome to Survivor: Vampire Island, where ten vampires and two humans will battle it out to see who has what it takes to be the last one standing. For the next several days, these twelve will exist on a remote island in the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of Brazil. The elements are harsh, and the living conditions sparse, but even if they manage to survive the environment, will they be able to survive each other? Find out on the new season of…Survivor."

This speech has been made by a dark-haired, rather diminutive figure clad in khaki cargo shorts and a dark blue, button-down camp shirt. He's standing on a sandy beach in front of an odd assortment of people. Dotted around the perimeter of this unlikely group are three men with large television cameras. One of the cameras is currently pointed at a group of eight very pale people standing slightly off to the small man's right. They are casually dressed in an array of expensive-looking street clothes and bathing suits. There are exactly four men and four women, all very attractive.

Another camera is pointed at a small group of four people standing slightly off to the little man's left. Compared to the relatively mainstream appearance of the group of eight, these four look like something straight out of some kind of demented Japanese manga. At the back of the group is an unnaturally tall man with long, wild, black hair. If his height didn't already draw enough attention, his flamboyant red trench coat and matching wide-brimmed hat would seal the deal. In front of him, not even reaching his shoulder, is a petite, blonde girl with a messy ponytail. She's wearing a…a…is it a police uniform? The incredibly short skirt, thigh high nylons and blouse that is just about to burst its buttons under pressure of an enormous pair of bosoms would indicate that perhaps she works as a stripper on the side and naughty police girl is her shtick. These two are also very pale skinned.

Two comparatively peachy-complected individuals complete the group of four. One of them appears to be a woman with straight, blond, waist-length hair, but she's wearing a very mannish suit as well as a stern countenance. The final contestant is by far the eldest looking. He is thin, wrinkled and dressed from head to toe as a proper English butler in suit and tie.

High in the powder blue sky, the sun breaks free of a fluffy, white cloud and everyone on the beach squints for a brief second. They're not so much squinting at the sun's brightness as at the phenomena that has just broken out over the flesh of the group of eight – they are all sparkling like the facets of a thousand diamonds in the sudden sunlight. These eight are clearly vampires. Vampires of the Unstet variety.(1) Inhumanly fast and strong; animal-like in their keen senses of hearing, vision and smell; insanely beautiful. And filled with a lust for human blood as much as – or perhaps more than – any other variety of vampire.

Unlike other vampires, the sunlight does nothing to diminish the Unstet's powers or weaken them in any other way. To the contrary, it heightens their beauty with this entrancing sparkle, making them irresistible to their prey. Luckily for the few mortals currently on this island, these eight Unstet are an anomaly for their species and refrain from feeding on humans for moral purposes, although there's no telling what may happen to their self restraint under the taxing conditions into which they've currently placed themselves.

The man standing between the two groups starts talking again. "I'm Jeff Probst, and I am excited to tell you that this edition of Survivor is going to be like no other. Not only is this the first time we've had non-human competitors, it is the first time we've had teams from two different countries. The Hellsing Tribe," he says, nodding at the group of four, "is here from sunny England. While the Cullen Tribe," he adds, nodding to the group of eight, "are here from sunny Forks, Washington, U.S.A. By now you've picked up on the fact that instead of gathering a group of strangers, as per usual, this time the teams are made up of members that already know each other…intimately.

"The Hellsing Tribe comprises individuals from none other than the Hellsing Organization, otherwise known as the Royal Order of Protestant Knights. They're taking a break from ridding the world of the undead and other evil infestations to take a crack at winning the million dollar prize. Their group includes two vampires and two humans. The Cullen Tribe – all vampires - has lived closely as a family for several decades, but they are willing to test those family ties to see which one can outwit, outlast, and outplay the others.

"Hold onto your buffs, everyone, because we've got another first for you," Jeff says and casts a mischievous eye across all twelve contestants. "As you've undoubtedly noticed, the Hellsing tribe is short a few players. I understand your organization was attacked recently and you four are all that remains."

"That is so," says the stern-looking blond man, I mean woman, in a business-like tone.

"Which leaves us with a problem," the show's host continues. "The Cullen Tribe now outnumbers the Hellsing Tribe two to one. That hardly seems fair, does it?"

The three shorter Hellsings shake their heads in eager agreement. The tallest one stands impassively, observing the others with mild curiosity. The Cullens' expressions are more uncertain. Are some of them going to be asked to leave? So soon?

"So – another Survivor first - we're going to divide up the larger tribe on day one and play the game with three tribes of four. Carlisle, Esme, please step over here." A blond haired man and dark haired woman from the Unstet group, dressed identically in navy-blue Bermuda shorts and crisp, white polo shirts step over to Jeff Probst. "As the designated leaders of your family – the mother/father figures - you will each be the head of one of the Cullen sub-tribes, which will now be known as Tribe Esme and Tribe Carlisle."

Esme and Carlisle cast quick, heartbroken glances at each other. They are pleased that none of the Cullens will be forced out of the game, but they are distressed to realize that the two of them will be separated. Without a word, they step obediently to either side of the host and listen for further instruction.

"You will choose your tribes in a good old-fashioned round of schoolyard pick-em. With some guidelines. I understand that your tribe, er, family is actually made up of four couples, or 'mates' as the vampires call it."

"That is correct, Jeff," Carlisle answers.

"Okay, this is how it's going to go – when it's your turn to pick, you must pick someone of the opposite sex. Also, you must pick someone who doesn't already have a mate on your tribe." The other six Cullens fail to bite back an audible gasp as they realize that they, too, will be separated from their beloved mates. A glint of sunlight reflects off the pointed white teeth that suddenly expose themselves in an amused grin under a wide, red brim. Probst continues, "Therefore, once you pick someone, their mate will automatically go to the other tribe. Are you guys ready?" he asks, looking intently at Carlisle and Esme.

"Yes, Jeff," they say in unison, giving each other one last tender glimpse and then turning to face the others.

"Carlisle, you pick first," Jeff says.

The Cullen father figure eyes what he considers to be his children. He is a kind-hearted man, but he is also pragmatic. He wants to make the best choice. The best choice for his tribe. It's more than a matter of picking the strongest or the smartest. When he selects someone for his tribe, he's selecting someone for the other tribe as well, because the mate of his choice will be going there. His first instinct is that he wants Jasper on his tribe. In addition to the other natural gifts of the Unstet, Jasper has a special power – he can influence the emotions of those around him. Carlisle knows that emotion and attitude are key in a game like this. A game where creature comforts are non-existent. A game where team morale is enough to tip the scales of each challenge in or out of your favor. A game where no one is ever sure exactly who to trust.

The trouble is, Carlisle can't simply select Jasper. He has to choose a female and leave Jasper on the table, taking the risk that his wife will pick him up. Selecting Alice would send her mate Jasper directly to the other team, so she's out. Carlisle ponders his remaining two choices – Bella or Rosalie. Although Esme would never say it out loud, Carlisle knows that among her boys, she has a soft spot for Edward, the one who's been with them the longest. Edward and Esme share a love of classical music and other things that Jasper and their other son, Emmett, find a bit too effeminate for their tastes. So Carlisle decides not to pick Edward's mate Bella. No, if Esme wants Edward, Carlisle's going to make her use up a selection for him, leaving Jasper to be snatched up by his tribe.

Carlisle is already so caught up in the game that he doesn't realize how it's so immediately changed him. Carlisle Cullen, the most benevolent of souls, has always put others' needs before his. Outside of this game, he would have simply given Esme what she wanted. He would have chosen Bella so Esme could have Edward for free, without using up a choice. But the family has hit on hard times and needs that million dollars, and as kind as he is, Carlisle is not humble - he firmly believes that he's the family's best shot at winning, and he's going to do all he can to improve his chances.

"Rosalie," Carlisle says, making his selection. Rosalie's movie-star face brightens just before she gives a smug sideways glance at the other girls, who unlike her, weren't chosen first. She didn't see the calculating going on inside Carlisle's head. She doesn't realize that she's only been chosen as a pawn. Edward realizes. He knows. Like Jasper, Edward has a special gift – he can read minds. He reads Carlisle's mind and understands that the game is on.

The voluptuous blond that is Rosalie, with only a scant amount of her milky curves covered by a teeny, weeny, hot pink bikini, gives her mate, Emmett, a long, wet good-bye kiss and then slinks over to stand by Carlisle while her beefy, muscle-shirted mate struts over to Esme.

"Your turn, Esme," Jeff prompts.

As predicted, the Cullen matriarch utters, "Edward."

Edward's mate, Bella, gasps and turns to cling to him. He wraps his strong arms around her, and she desperately buries her head into his shoulder as if certain that the world is going to stop turning now that she's going to be forced more than two feet away from him.

"It's okay, love," he whispers and then the bronze-haired god in long, army-green cargo shorts and a pleasantly snug crimson t-shirt regretfully separates himself from his wife and takes her hand. They glide together to Carlisle, where Edward leaves his wife with a kiss on her forehead before stepping over to Esme. Bella watches him walk away with sad, puppy dog eyes, and her chest heaves under the words 'Forks is for Lovers'(2) on her white, cap-sleeve tee.

Only two Cullens remain standing on their initial plot of sand: a devastatingly dangerous looking young man with longish, dirty blond hair in a scruffy Nirvana concert t-shirt and a pair of intentionally distressed denim jeans sawed off at the knees, and a sprightly, spiky-haired brunette girl in a darling, patterned sundress over a pair of yellow, stretchy capris.

"Only one male left, Rose, so your choice is made for you," explains Jeff Probst. "Jasper, come on over to Tribe Carlisle. Alice, you'll be going to Tribe Esme." After a quick squeeze of his mate's hand, the dirty blond saunters over to stand with his new tribe and Alice skips to hers.

"So there we have it – Tribe Carlisle is Carlisle, Rosalie, Bella and Jasper; Tribe Esme is Esme, Emmett, Edward and Alice. Let's introduce Team Hellsing. Over here we have our two human contestants - Integra Hellsing, head of the organization and Walter Dornez, he is…" Jeff's voice trails off for a moment as he considers how exactly to describe Walter C. Dornez.

"My servant," Integra, the long-haired blond, says crisply, completing his sentence for him.

"Your servant," Jeff repeats compliantly, although he'd probably have chosen a different word. "The final two members of the Hellsing tribe are-"

Integra cuts him off again, saying in her cold, matter-of-fact voice, "Also servants. Who happen to be vampires."

Jeff seems a bit thrown by this succinct, rather unflattering description of the two formidable creatures that stand before him, but continues. "Uh…yes…uh…we have Alucard." The menacing, red-cloaked man nods his towering head with formality at his introduction. "And Seras Victoria, his protégé." The tiny blonde gives an embarrassed giggle and shrugs her shoulders. The modest movement seems to put a further strain upon her heroic buttons. Emmett, from across the sand, seems to be keenly aware of the buttons' precarious situation. In fact, he seems to be quite eager for their failure.

"We have one last piece of business before you head off for camp," Jeff announces, then he hands each group a burlap sack. "In these sacks you will find your tribe buffs in your tribe color. You will also find a map that will guide you to your tribe's camp supplies, which are hidden just inside the cover of the jungle behind you. With your supplies is a map to your camp. We'll meet back here on this beach for our first immunity challenge. And what better time to meet with vampires than in the dead of night?"

By now all of the Survivors have pulled out their bandana-like tubes of cloth and pulled them somewhere onto their person. Most simply wear them as head bands, but Alucard uses his black Hellsing buff as a band around the base of this hat. Rosalie wears her green band as a tube top, and Emmett has his swatch of orange twisted over his bulging bicep, flexing the trademark Survivor logo bigger and smaller for whoever cares to be impressed.

"Okay then, Survivors ready?" Jeff asks. Everyone nods, and he says, "Unroll those maps and get to camp."

The groups take off separately into different sections of jungle. A camera man scrambles behind each team, trying to keep up. The tribes are now far enough away from each other that they cannot see or hear the other teams, nor can Edward read the minds of those outside his own tribe. Armed with superhuman eyesight, it doesn't take them long to locate their supplies. They find piles of lumber, tarps and a few tools for building a shelter. In an effort to appease concerned environmentalist viewers, the vampires will not be allowed to hunt either humans or animals on this island, so they are also supplied with several pints of blood and a huge bag of rice for the Hellsing Tribe. The tribes will, however, be allowed to fish, because who cares about fish?

The Survivors scoop up their supplies and begin the trek to their tribe camp. Navigating through the jungle with hundreds of pounds of lumber and food supplies would be a very grueling task for humans, but with their superior strength and instincts, this is literally a walk in the park to the vampires. Even the two humans of the Hellsing Tribe have an easy time of it, since their vampires easily carry the entire load themselves.

The leisurely stroll allows time for conversation and speculation.

* * *

"Did you see the rack on that she-vamp?" Emmett grunts. Receiving only eye rolls from his foster mother, sister and metro-sexual brother, he takes a different track. "So, what was up with that freaky, tall dude in the red coat?"

"Carlisle knows him," Edward answers gravely.

Carlisle's wife, Esme, whips her head toward Edward and says with great surprise, "He does?"

"Yes, from well before any of us were changed, or even born as humans," Edward answers. Carlisle has been a vampire for two centuries longer than any of the others.

"How did he know him?" Alice asks. Alice has a gift for getting glimpses into the future, but if it's something from the past, she's often clueless.

"I'm not quite certain," Edward answers. "I read it on Carlisle's mind as soon as he saw him, but he wasn't thinking about anything specific. I only heard thoughts such as, 'Oh Lord, help us. Not him.'"

"His name was Alucard," Esme says, her voice sounding contemplative. After a brief pause, she adds, "I don't remember Carlisle ever mentioning an Alucard."

Emmett comments "Must be someone he'd rather forget…"

* * *

"Carlisle Cullen," Alucard sneers. "Never thought I'd cross his path again. Winning this thing is going to be even easier than I thought."

"Don't get overconfident, Alucard," Integra warns. "One of us needs to win that million dollar prize to begin rebuilding the Hellsing Organization, and ninety percent of the time; this game is lost on hubris. Look what happened to James the gravedigger - he got voted out while in possession of two hidden immunity idols," Integra says, shaking her head incredulously.

"You watch Survivor, sir?" Seras asks, sounding shocked.

"I…uh…no. N-n-not regularly. I – I ordered a few seasons from Netflix for research. Yes, research," Integra scrambles to answer. "Alucard, how do you know that Cullen man," she then asks, abruptly changing the subject.

"Oh, we worked on a little…project together before your father locked me away, didn't we Walter," he answers cryptically. Walter nods in silent confirmation, but says nothing.

"And…" Integra prompts impatiently.

"And the pertinent information for our current project is that Unstets like Carlisle and his family are no competition for Nosferatu like me," Alucard answers arrogantly.

"Like us," Seras corrects.

Alucard ignores her comment and explains, "They are strong and they have many talents, but they can't teleport, nor can they change form."

"I think you're forgetting a very important advantage that they have over you, Alucard," Walter says gently. "They can swim."

Seras gasps and her eyes grow wide. She stops in her tracks and stares at Walter disbelievingly. "They can?" she murmurs. Nosferatu vampires have to be very careful around moving water. They can cross it in a boat, but only if they carry dirt from their homeland with them. Even so much as getting soaked in a simple rain will decrease their powers. Submerging themselves is out of the question, so Seras is surprised indeed to learn that their vampirean competitors can swim.

"Oh yes, they are very agile swimmers," Walter answers with a touch of awe.

Alucard is irritated by this reminder. "Yes, but do they have the souls of those they've consumed at their command--"

"Alucard, you are only allowed to use those souls - your familiars - when I've given you clearance," Integra interjects sternly.

"Well, I assume you will give clearance when necessary," he answers.

"It won't be necessary," Integra replies succinctly. "Not in this game."

* * *

"I wonder what Ness is doing right now," Bella sighs for the tenth or twentieth time. Ness is Bella and Edward's daughter, whom they've left in care of Bella's father while they're on this adventure. "How soon do you think the tribes will merge together? I don't know how long I can go without both Nessie and Edward."

"Don't blubber to us," Rosalie snaps back irritably. "We're not the reason you're stuck on this God-forsaken island trying to recoup our stock market losses."

"I'd hardly call this island God-forsaken, Rosalie," Carlisle says serenely. "Look at this lush, green beauty. Listen to the lovely music the birds are singing to us. No, I'd say God spent extra time creating this patch of heaven on earth."

No one seems appeased or distracted by Carlisle's statement.

"Who exactly are you implying is the reason we're here, Rose?" Jasper asks sharply.

"Oh sorry, Jasper, did I make it too difficult for you to figure out?" Rosalie says nastily. "Here, let me make it a little easier for you – Alice!"

"It was not her fault!" Jasper shouts, defending his mate.

"Oh, wasn't it? Are you telling me that she didn't take her eye off the ball because she was Obamatized?" She's referring to Alice's failure to use her future-vision to check on the fate of the stock market in the months following Obama's election as the U.S. President.

"Look, he said 'Yes we can,' so she thought that he could," Jasper retorts.

"Yep, those campaign promises usually pan out, don't they?" Rosalie responds sarcastically.

"Alright, you two, that's enough," Carlisle says, sounding like a father running out of patience. "We're here now, no matter the reason. Jasper, I'm counting on you to keep our tribe cohesive. We'll need to use every advantage we have, because we've got bigger problems to worry about."

"What do you mean?" Jasper asks.

"The Hellsing Tribe. Did you notice that their vampires didn't glitter in the sunlight?" Carlisle says.

The others are silent. They hadn't noticed, and now their eyebrows pull together in concern.

"They're Nosferatu," Carlisle says ominously.

"Shit," Jasper murmurs, and the girls exchange anxious glances. They've never met Nosferatu before, but Carlisle has told them stories of their great powers.

Carlisle sighs and continues, "Yes, unfortunately, that's still not our biggest problem. The tall one in red, the one called Alucard – I know him. Well, I knew him in the past."

"How?" Rosalie asks, curious to hear an exciting adventure from Carlisle's history that she's never heard before.

"That's not important," Carlisle answers. "What's important is that this Alucard is absolutely ruthless. More ruthless than any vampire I've ever met." He can't hide the concern in his voice.

A stunned silence falls over the group. The Cullens have been up against some vile foes, and it's difficult for them to imagine something more ruthless than what they've already seen. Something that's cohabitating with them on this very island, right now.

Jasper is too preoccupied with these thoughts at the moment to release his calming powers. Instead, he murmurs another barely audible, "Shit."

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footnotes:

(1) Fanfiction author Master of the Boot first coined the term 'Unstet' to describe the Cullen's variety of vampire.

(2) Kudos to the creator of this ingenious piece of FaceBook Flare.

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Upon completion of this chapter, I'm thinking that you may have the following two questions:

1) So, where's this reader participation you promised?

Starting with the 4th Tribal Council, YOU will get to vote for who you want out! I'm very excited about this!!! I'll tally the votes and the most votes wins, or loses depending on how you look at it. The story will then continue on with the remaining characters. At this point I estimate that reader voting will start at about chapter 5. Ah, but the first three votes are all mine.

2) What the hell – why are vampires now publicly 'outed' and starring in reality TV shows?

I have no idea. If you, however, have any thoughts on the subject, please let me know, and if it jives well enough with this story, I'll put it up as a prologue!

Any more questions? I've tried to write this story so that it can be easily followed by readers who aren't necessarily familiar with Twilight, Survivor or even Hellsing, but if there's something about any of the characters that is confusing to you, please let me know so I can correct it.

Thanks for reading! Thanks even more for reviewing!

-LiLa