Author's Note: Ok, so I'm not that happy with how this came out, at least not the second part. Who knows, maybe I'll rewrite it later. I added another line to the last chapter, so go check it out if you didn't catch it last time round. So hi. I'm back from the most wonderful magical place. I had a great week, although coming home is kinda tough. Did ja miss me? Or did you not really think much on my absence since I hadn't posted for a while before the two chapters I posted right before I left? Either way, I'm back now. I know this is a pathetically short chapter, and I know it probably wasn't what you were expecting, and in some cases hoping for. Either way, I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and how many people were completely not expecting Sora to kick Roxas out? And how many people don't understand how Sora kicked her out since they don't live together? Well, all that will be explained for those who haven't figured it out later. As in not this chapter. So go read and understand.

This chapter is a flash back. It picks up roughly where Roxas left off explaining her past to Axel. Its in italics because its a memory. Oh, and the part where 'you' is used alot is Roxas sort of 'speaking' to you. I hope it makes sense. Sorry if its a bit confusing. Anyway. I should probably go let you read the chapter. I guess I just feel bad for it being so short, and thought I'd make this longer to pretend it isn't the shortest chapter in a while. Ok, you caught me. Now go, read. Enjoy.

It's dark. I know that much. I don't know what time it was. Just that its dark. I' in the back of a car, or maybe on a bench I think. I don't know how long I've been asleep, just now that I'm awake enough to remember what happened I wish I wasn't. I feel heavy.

Sora isn't with me. He's gone, off somewhere, safe. At least I don't have to worry about him. I know he will be ok. It what's going to happen to me that I'm worried about. Where am I? What's happening? I think I'm moving, so I'm in a car then? I can hardly breathe. Do they know I'm awake? Oh god, what are they going to do? Sora always told me to make sure I wasn't caught. That bad things would happen if we were ever caught.

I didn't do anything! I swear! I didn't do anything! I was careful! Did someone see me at the store? Maybe the neighbors? Did the school I used to go to realize I wasn't there or something? I keep going over everything little thing I've done in the past days, wondering what had led to my downfall. What did I do?

I shudder. It's so cold. How can it be this cold? Does it even get this cold where I live? Oh, the air conditioner is on. I haven't been in a car for ages, whose driving? Sora can't drive. He's too young. Sora. I wonder where he is. Better off than me. No, I can't be afraid. I won't be. I have to be strong. For Sora. He'll come get me. I know he will. He promised. He'll always come get me. Protect me. He promised.

I was awoken again later by someone shaking my arm. I cringed away from them, back into the car. It wasn't exactly safe, but it was the closest 'away' I had at that moment. I looked up at who ever had shaken me, and was shocked to see a woman. I wasn't expecting monsters exactly, but I definitely wasn't expecting to see a soft face peering down at me with concern.

"You're a skittish one, aren't you?" She spoke softly. She wasn't actually asking me, but her tone was still comforting. I relaxed a little. She reminded me of my old teacher.

"They always are." A gruff voice answered from somewhere behind the woman. I could tell it was a man that spoke. Irritation briefly flashed across the woman's face.

"Did you even try to explain what was happening to her?" She demanded, looking over her shoulder at the man. He looked a little taken aback.

"Well, I . . ." He trailed off as she rolled her eyes.

"Come on sweetie. It's ok. Will you come talk with me?" She asked, he voice was kind. I didn't want to leave the safety of the car. I was torn. She seemed nice, comforting. And I really wanted to just let myself go with her and let her protect me. Could I do that? I bit my lip. Could I trust her? "Come on honey, you look starved, come eat something."

That was it. I slowly slid across the car seat and crawled out. I'd been living off of nothing but stale cereal, without milk since we had run out a while ago. It was all Sora knew how to make. The promise of real food was to alluring to pass up.

The woman smiled at me, and ushered me through the doors of a small building. She must have taken me in the side door because I never saw the sign labeling it as the police station. She led me to a dimly lit room with nothing but a table and a few chairs in it. She told me to take a seat and wait. I was too scared to do anything else. Sora and I didn't go in buildings if we could help it, too much of a chance of getting noticed. It was safer to stay inside. They only ever went to the store, and not even there if they could help it.

The man from earlier came into the room long enough to place a plate of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in front of her, before exiting again. I inhaled the food. There is no other way of putting it. One moment it was on the plate, the next, down my throat and being digested. It was only after the last little bit of the sandwich hit my stomach did I realize that I was parched.

I was too afraid to say anything though, so I just sat there, hands clasped in my lap, waiting for something. I wasn't sure what exactly I was waiting for. Something.

The something turned out to be the woman. She came back with a clipboard and a pen. She sat down opposite me, and we looked at each other. I think I made her sad.

"What's your name sweetheart?" She asked kindly, and I wanted with all my heart to trust her. But I couldn't Sora had told me never to tell anyone my name. Or where we lived. Or that we lived alone. I wouldn't betray him. She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. I could tell she was tired. It was late, I was sure.

"Look, they drove you out here specially so I could talk to you, but I can't help you if you won't talk to me." I considered for a moment.

"Are you going to take me to Sora?" I asked, voice quivering as I spoke. She sighed, like this was the last question she wanted to answer right now.

"No sweetie. I can't. I don't know where your brother is." This seemed to make her sad too. "But if you talk to me, I can try to find him."

I could feel my eyes get huge. No! I couldn't say anything that would lead them to Sora! He had to stay safe, so he could come get me. He promised!

"No, no, not that." She muttered to herself. "Alright, I won't try to find your brother, how about that. Let's just talk about you right now. Will you tell me your name? Please? How about this, I'll tell you mine, and then you can tell me yours, alright?" She looked at me, smiling. I nodded slowly.

"Alright. My name is Tessa. And I'm nineteen. Now how about you? Will you tell me your name?"

"Roxas." I croaked out, not looking at her. I could feel her smile, like she had just won all the Olympics at the same time by getting me to tell her my name. It made me want to smile to.

"Alright Roxas, I knew we could do it, so can I get you anything? Are you still hungry?" I shook my head no. "How about something to drink? From what I hear, you haven't had anything to drink since they picked you up this morning." I nodded. I liked the way she was talking to me. Almost like she was sharing some secret joke with me.

"Alright, I'll go get you some water, ok?" She got up to leave, and I don't know what came over me, but I latched onto her. I grabbed her around the middle, and buried my head into her side. I didn't want her to leave me. I could tell she was surprised, but then she relaxed and stroked my hair.

"Sweetie, I have to leave to get you water." She sighed and thought for a moment. "Do you want to come with me?" She asked, running her fingers through my hair. I nodded without letting go, and she gently repositioned me so that she could walk with me still clutching her skirt.

She led me out of the little room we had been sitting in, and over to a water cooler that was remarkably close by. The building wasn't very big. There were a couple of people working at desks, and there were a couple of people standing by the water cooler we were going to. I shrank back even more into Tessa's skirt as we drew closer to them. One of the men, nodded and went back to his desk, but the other stayed, and nodded a hello to Tessa. "Looks like you've got a little monkey clinging to you." He said, smiling widely. I shrank back even more.

"Mark." Tessa spoke gently, but with a warning. She put her arm around my shoulders. "She's terrified." She sighed, rubbing my back comfortingly. "Come on sweetie, Marks ok. Really. He gets mighty annoying sometimes, but he's really alright." She nudged me gently, trying to get me to say hello. I peeked up at him for a moment, then buried my face deeper into her skirt. She laughed. "Sorry Mark. That's all you get I guess."

She got me water, then led me back to the room we had been in before. "Alright." She said, sitting me down and sitting across from me again. "Now, how old are you?"

I thought for a moment. "Four." I answered confidently. I smiled timidly at her, and she smiled warmly back.

"Alright then." She marked something on her paper. "I just need a little information about you, okay sweetie? We'll do this together." She said, smiling. She went on to ask me all sorts of questions. I don't remember very many of them. I know I answered with 'I don't know' to a ton of them. And then finally she put down the clip board. "Are you alright?" She asked me, looking at me in a way that almost made me start to cry. It was like she could finally just ask me that. Not because she had to, or because it was her job, but because she wanted to make sure I was ok.

I nodded silently, and smiled softly. She nodded back, and started to explain what was going on to me. They didn't know what where my mom was, but they couldn't let me stay in the apartment. She explained that I was too little to be out in the world in my own, that I needed someone to look after me.

Tessa told me that she was a social worker, and that I would be going to live at a group home, where all the kids who hadn't been placed in a family went, but then I would be placed in a family, and go live with them. She explained it all to me. And then she left to go get me some things.

Apparently it was too late to take me to the group home right now, so I would have to stay at the police station for the night, but she was going to stay with me, so that was alright. Cuddled up in the secret safe place we had made, I fell asleep.

Every family I was placed with was different. Some wanted to pretend you were they're kid. Others were just in it for the money. Some were better than others, but they were always the same in one aspect. You were the foster kid. It was always like that. No matter what they said, no matter who they were, you weren't theirs. And they would always send you back.

Tessa became the only constant in my life. She would follow me from place to place. Later I found out I was her first foster kid, she was young and she was supposed to just be watching and learning from a more experienced social worker. But her teacher had gotten sick, and so she had been the one to work with me.

The first home I was placed in was this couple who already had four foster kids. They weren't there very often, letting the older kids look after me and the younger kids. It wasn't great, but it was a place to stay, and it wasn't too bad. Alex was the oldest of us kids, and he was alright, but his little brother was there too, and he wasn't very nice. Alex would do anything to protect his little brother, and we all knew that. Alex's little brother used to pick on me, and Alex would make sure no one ever told on him. I guess that's what happens. You get hard, fast. You learn to survive, and keep what's precious to you close. For Alex, that was his brother. I don't blame him for that, never could. Even though it meant that I 'fell' down the stairs when his little brother broke my arm.

I never told Tessa about that. I think it would break her heart if she knew. She was so happy for me when I got that placement. She was like that with all the kids, but I think she took a special linking to me. I think it's because she was so young, and that I was her first kid.

Eventually, my 'parents' at that home figured out that they couldn't keep all of us, and as I was the last one to join the mix, I went first. They have you pack all your stuff up into garbage bags, and then they kick you to the curb. Actually, you go back to the system, but it's pretty much the same thing. They were the first on my list, the Andersons.

I spent a lot of time in group homes. It wasn't so bad. You got a bed and stuff, but it's clear you're a foster kid. And you stay with all the others. All the unwanted. All the kids who don't get homes, don't deserve homes. Its poison, being there. They mash you all together, a whole bunch of kids from varying ages, and expect it to just be ok.

You feel like trash. You stay in these houses, with all the other castoffs. All the other kids no one wants. And you look at them all, and slowly you begin to think you are trash. That's why you're here. That's why no one wants to keep you.

Then I got placed with my second 'home'. A sweet couple, they kept me for about six months before sending me back. They wanted someone who looked more like them. I later found out they had their own kid. God I hated those kids. Did they know they were pushing kids out of good homes? Was that included in the 'while expecting' stories? The trial kids that got bumped back to shit housing and crap families when the proud parents found out they no longer needed replacement kids?

You learn fast not to get attached. And then you learn faster to pretend you do. Nothing gets you sent sooner than 'they don't love me like I've known them all their lives even though I met them five minutes ago'. So you learn the rules, and you learn the ropes. And the whole time you wonder what you did, what made you such a horrible excuse for a human being that not even these people could love you. It really makes you wonder.

I don't even remember why my third family sent me back. Probably got tired of me. Maybe I asked too much. I was too expensive. It just wasn't the right time for them to foster. There's something better out there for you. They can't deal with the responsibility right now. It's just too hard. I don't connect. All of those excuses mean the same thing. Thanks for playing, bye.

And then you're bumped back to a group home, or another home, or some other family that hasn't gotten the chance to reject you yet. No matter which way it went, Tessa was always there to pick me up and dust me off. Even as I grew, and she got older. I saw the others get different people, and thanked my lucky stars I got Tessa. She was always there for me. As much as she could be, although it was pretty limited. Group homes didn't want social workers getting in the way, and when you were placed in a home, you only got to see your worker for visits or evaluations. But Tessa was there for her. I had her number, and knew she could call anytime. It was comforting.

I gave up on my mom ever coming back for me rather quickly. You'd tell someone that your mom was going to come back for you, and they would laugh. They wouldn't even try to hide it, just laugh in your face. And I knew they were right. My mom wasn't going to come back for me. If she was, she already would have. She would never have left us. Sora was going to come for me. He promised. I used to worry that he wouldn't be able to find me, but he had said he would, and he wouldn't lie to me. I can't think how many nights I survived by knowing Sora was going to come for me. I would whisper it to myself over and over again until I fell asleep. It made me feel safe and warm. It was my lullaby. "He promised."

Ending Notes: Ok, there it is. I know it ends ubruptly. I'm hoping to post the next chapter soon. The next chapter will also be a flashback. For those of you who have been waiting for the back story on Roxas, this is it. What you just read and then the next chapter. It might take me another chapter after that, but I'm hoping it will only be one more. I'm having a tad bit of writer's block at the moment, so please review to help me get over it.

Well my lovelys, wow thats a weird spelling of the, I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry I haven't responded to any of the reviews of last chapter, but my computer and FF.N was being a bitch. So I slapped it around some, and now it seems to be behaving better. Oh, and I need to go check out my friend's stuff, she said she *finally* started uploading stuff. YAY!!!!! Dei, if you're reading this, I love you. I really do. And I hope you are having fun having access to a computer before it is cruelly ripped from your grasp once more.

Lets all take a moment of silence to honor the suffering my dear friend must go through every day because she lacks a way to use the internet freely. Dei-dear, I feel your pain. We stand together, knowing it can only get better.

Anyway, I just glanced at my clock, and realized it really isn't very late. But I have to work in the morning. God, I love my job, but who wants to get up? I certainly don't. Like, ever. Anyway, oh, and I thought I'd share something from one of my reviews with you all. This one person sent my a review that said 'ew yuri'. It made me giggle. Yes, this is a yuri peice. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out if that was an 'ooh yuri' or an 'ick yuri'. And I kept trying to figure it out, and I kept getting nothing. If they did mean it as 'ick', this amuses me to no end. I mean, did I not state in the summary that the genders were switched? And the idea that some one is fine with yaoi, but finds yuri icky just makes me giggle. No really, I read that, and started giggling really hard. And mind you, it was like three in the morning. I got the weirdest looks in the morning. Anyway, just thought I'd share the giggles, and if you were the one to write the review, no offence intended, but I would love to know which one you meant. Thank you to all my lovely readers. And BIG HUG to all the people who reviewed, even if it was just 'ew yuri'. Those of you who read, but haven't reviewed, pleade do. It makes me very happy. Is it really that hard to do? I mean, especially if you add me to your favorites, which also makes me oh so happy, please review? Didn't FF.N tell you? Everytime you read a fic or a new chapter and don't review, a kitten dies. I know the world has to many, but still, if we run out of kittens, then they'll move on to puppies, or ducklings, its really tragic. Please, for the baby animals. Do it for them. Thank you.

Z