Ranger24: Yeah first Code Geass fic and I combined it with episode 58 of Red vs Blue. Enjoy.
Familair surroundings.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Nooo no no!" Suzaku screamed as he stared down at the ridiculous box canyon he and the other Britaninan troops had been stuck in with the hovership Avalon as their only method of tansportation, apart from their four Nightmares from the shoulder of his own Nightmare the Lancelot Conquista.
"Is he ever going to stop screaming? He's been up there for hours." Gino asked staring up at his teamate from the shoulder of the Knightmare frame Tristan.
"Jeremiah shut him up!" 2nd Prince Schnizel shouted to his second in command from his Gloucester's shoulder.
"Hey Suzaku shut the fuck up, get down here and help us check out the base!" Jeremiah shouted from the shoulder of his southerland Seig.
"No! No! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Suzaku continued to scream. Jeremaih sighed.
"I don't think he's even listening to us sir." Jeremaih said.
"Nooo!!! Actually that time I was answering your question! NOOO!!!" Suzaku shouted.
Schinzel glared up at the young knightmare pilot. "That's it I can't take it anymore! Jeremaih go up and get him!"
"Yes sir!" Jeremaih said snapping a salute.
"If he keeps screaming like that he's going to fall off." Gino noted.
Schinzel's eyes brightened at Gino's words. "Cancel that order Jeremaih!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"
Schinzel sighed. "Gino get me a sniper rifle."
"Yes sir." Gino said happily.
MEANWHILE AT MOUNT FUJI!!!!!!!!!
"And he says, "Read it? I already ruined it!" Tamaki said leaning against his Akutsuki model knightmare.
"That's disgusting." Kallen snarled standing next to her knighmare the Guren Mark II.
"I don't get it." Rolo said stupidly siting on the landspinner of his Vincent Knightmare.
Suddenly a ghostly pale figure appeared next to them.
"What... The fuck... Was that?" Lelouch's ghost said utterly confused.
"Hey Lelouch!" Rolo said brightly.
"Hey." Tamaki replied in a bored tone.
"What?" Kallen said coming to attention.
"Isn't anybody going to ask me, 'What happened to your body Lelouch?'" Lelouch asked in annoyed tones.
"What happened to your body Lelouch?" Kallen and Tamaki said in bored tones.
"What happened to.... some body... Lelouch?" Rolo said stupidly making everyone staring at him. "Did I win?"
Moment of silence.
"Okay I was talking to Mao..." Lelouch started.
"The News guy?" Kallen asked.
"No that's Deithard, Mao is the crazy computer guy." Lelouch replied.
"Eh I can't even remember you guy's names half the time." Kallen said non chalantly.
"I know my name!" Rolo said excitedly. "You can ask me, in case you forget!"
"Thank you Rolo." Lelouch said sarcastically.
"By the way he's Lelouch." Rolo added.
"Thank you! Rolo." Lelouch growled gritting his teeth.
"See he is mad," Rolo said and in a drawn out tone. "Now he will stare at me until I stop talking, then when he thinks I am done talking he will start talking again." By the time Rolo was done everyone was staring at him.
"Okay so I was talking to Mao..." Lelouch started.
"Told you so." Rolo said quickly.
"GOD DAMNIT!!" Lelouch snarled.
"Classic Lelouch." Rolo said happily.
"I wonder if a ghost can have an enyurism?" Tamaki suggested.
"ANYWAY! I was talking to Mao about this whole great destroyer thing who at the time we thought was Kallen..."
FLASHBACK!!!!
We see Lelouch running up in his Shinruiko Knightmare to the crazy, white haired, mind reading, C.C obseive, bad knock knock joke cracking, computer guy known as Mao. Who unfortunatly wasn't shutting up.
"The great destroyer has arrived, the end is near! The great destroyer has arrived, the end is near! The great destroyer has arrived, the end is near!" Mao repeated hysterically.
"Mao please stop!" Lelouch said trying to calm Mao down enought to talk.
"The great destroyer has arrived, the end is near!" Mao continued to banter.
"Mao shut up! If Kallen isn't the destroyer from the prophecy then who is?" Lelouch asked.
'And that's when I turned around and I saw.' Lelouch narrated as he turned around to see a purple knightmare, being blocked by Rolo and his Vincent.
"Saw what? Saw V.V?" Rolo asked.
Lelouch blinked in confusion. "What the? Rolo! Get out of the story man! No it wasn't V.V!"
"What was it?" Rolo asked excitedly.
"Stop talking and I'll tell you!" Lelouch growled furiously.
"A helicopter?" Rolo asked stupidly.
"Yeah Rolo shut up!" Tamaki said entering in his Akatsuki.
"Okay Tamaki, now you're interuppting two! Everyone just get out of here!" Lelouch shouted.
"Me? I'm just here to punch up the stroy line." Tamaki replied grinning. "Check this out."
Suddenly the Guren appeared with with Tamaki immitating Kallen's voice.
"Hi everybody! I'm super horny from all the robot killing. Is it hot in here? Who want's to help me out of this big old knightmare, this flight suit is so ichy."
END FLASHBACK!!!
Tamaki grinned pervertedly as Kallen brought the Guren's claw up to the head of his knightmare.
"Bow-chicka-bow..." Then he noticed the claw. "Whoa! Stories over!"
"You're a pig." Kallen growled climbing out of her knightmare and turning to face Lelouch.
"And I didn't even get to the part where the sailors show up." Tamaki muttered.
"So tell us what did you see?" Kallen asked, ignoring Tamaki.
"Umm... I saw a really big thing." Lelouch said lamely.
"Thats it? That's your story? You saw a big thing." Kallen said almost incredulously.
"Ah my story had a big thing in it too, you just didn't give it time to develop."
"Well I didn't get a good look at it." Lelouch muttered.
"Wow pathetic." Kallen muttered.
"Look all I know is it was huge, purple, and had one freaky mask thing." Lelouch shot back.
"Kinky," Tamaki muttered.
"Seriously dude cut the shit man, we've got a situation on our hands." Lelouch said seriously.
"Well how did you fight it off?" Kallen asked.
"Fight it off? You must have me confused with someone who's brave, I got the hell out of there!" Lelouch replied.
"You're telling me you left your body and knightmare behind?" Kallen asked.
"Do you know how hard it is to reinstall an ejected seat? Besides I had to get out of there fast, that body was just dead weight."
"I know the feeling." Rolo said stupidly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lelouch growled.
"Ha Ha! Some stupid Knightmare scared the Crap out of Lelouch!" Tamaki said laughing.
"It didn't scare the crap out of him, it scared the soul out of him." Kallen countered, Tamaki shrugged.
"Ah crap, soul whats the difference? His soul is made out of crap! Stupid crap for soul." Tamaki muttered.
"For all I know it's still in there chewing on my body or canablizing my Knightmare for spare parts."
Kallen climbed back into the Guren. "Well then let's go get this big thing of yours."
"Bow-chicka-bow-wow." Tamaki said snickering.
"Oh shut up." Kallen growled.
"Shut up Tamaki." Lelouch added.
"Did somebody call for a really hairy plumber? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!" Tamaki continued.
"Tamaki shut up!" Lelouch snarled.
"I came here to lay some pipe. Bow-chicka-bow-wow!"
"Tamaki!"
"So I hear you've got sisters? Bow-chicka... Who are twins! BOW WOW!"
"Shut up!
"Hey are you a model or famous actress?"
"Shut up."
"Bow-chika-gow-wow! Bow-chika-gow-wow! Bow-chika-gow-wow! Chika-bow-wow! Chika-bow-wow! Chika-bow-wow!"