So no, I don't own either Naruto Uzumaki or Breaking Benjamin. Those would be owned by Mushashi Kishimoto and Breaking Benjamin, I believe. Well, whoever they are, they aren't mine.

Naruto scowled. He moved the mouse left; the cursor went right. He moved the mouse down; the cursor went left. He moved the mouse further down; the cursor went up. He moved the mouse into the monitor at high velocity; the cursor disappeared with a fizzle and a puff of smoke. Naruto let loose a triumphant roar.

"YEAH! Who ya' messing with now, mousey! Who-" the blond one cried, only to realize that despite his apparent victory, he was now down one computer monitor and mouse. His victorious grin dropped into a look of dejection and disappointment. Naruto had planned to spend the entire night playing "Nin-Halo" with Shino before finally getting an account on "Ninja World of NinjaCraft" with Choji.

"Now I'll never catch up to Choji," Naruto muttered, leaning back in his dumpster-acquired computer chair. "He's gotta be, like, level forty by now."

Young Uzumaki ambled down the stairs of his apartment complex, emerging onto the dusk-lit street. Slouched over, hands in his pockets, he proceeded northward with a sort of dejected determination. Naruto was one who was often down, but never out. He knew what he planned to do, and darn it, he was going to do it. He turned a corner, dragged his feet a few blocks down, and rounded the bend. He stopped at the door, waited a moment, listened. No sounds. He knocked, waited, nothing. Satisfied, Naruto jiggled the handle. Locked. He looked around, bright blues piercing the red dimness. The second story window was unlocked and partially open. Naruto grinned.

With a loud crash and a rain of shattered glass, Naruto landed back-first in Sakura Haruno's bedroom. He had over-estimated the force required to propel him into the window; he had only meant to land next to it and let himself in quietly. Notes for tomorrow, Naruto thought. Work on aim.

Naruto lifted himself up onto his feet. He noted the girliness of Sakura's room, even in the dark. Very pink. But more importantly, a NinDell personal computer sat intertwined with an old, oak computer desk. Naruto grinned, chuckled deviously, and tiptoed over to the computer. From within his pants pocket a copy of "Nin-Halo" was produced.

Hee hee, he thought. Sakura must be out for the night. I'll install, kick Shino's butt in five minutes, be ought in a snap. Sakura'll never even know I was in her... in her... Naruto gulped, slowly turning his head around. He pulled on the draw-string of the desk lamp, flooding the room with yellow light. Pinks and whites met his gaze. Soft, silky sheets and fluffy toy animals. I'm in her...

"I'M IN SAKURA'S ROOOOOM!"

"Yo." Shino's voice, but all Naruto saw was darkness. Something moved, something was on top of him. Objects shifted. A light! Naruto sat up, cardboard and coffee grounds falling from his head. He was in a dumpster. His left cheeked burned, and for some reason he could only see out of one eye. He wasn't sure which one.

"Wha- ...What happened?"

"You didn't show up for our session last night." Shino was outside the dumpster. Was that a hint of hurt in the bug-man's voice? Naruto could never tell entirely, since his face was obscured by collar and glasses. Also today Naruto was seeing blurry doubles. Shino helped him down out of the trash and held him erect.

"Y-yeah," Naruto replied. He began to limp forwards, out into the street. Shino continued the physical support. "Sorry. My computer broke."

"So you snuck into Sakura's house to use her computer, fell asleep on her bed clutching several pieces of her clothing, and once she returned home she found you and tossed you out an entirely seperate window than the one you broke."

Naruto stopped, blinked. "Uh, yeah. Yeah. That's a... really accurate description."

Shino pushed them forwards. "I could hear it from my house. Sakura is a very loud woman."

"Yes," Naruto agreed. "Yes she is."

The pair continued their slow limp towards Naruto's apartment, only stopping so Shino could- as far as Naruto could tell- mutter profanities at a flower arrangement. "Aphids," is all Shino would grant in explanation.

Naruto flopped down on his couch. "Thanks, Shino." Shino remained silent. He quietly positioned himself in an old recliner across the room.

"OK," Naruto thought out loud. "Where am I going to get a computer monitor and mouse? Kiba, Choji, Shikamaru, and TenTen all have their own computers... maybe I could...."

"Store." Shino said.

"Ptth," replied Naruto. "If I had the money."

"Job," Shino helpfully suggested.

"Ohnononono. No. The only jobs for Naruto Uzumaki are A: Hokage, and B: Space Tyrannosaurus Assassin."

Shino remained silent. Whether this was habit or dumbfoundment was anyone's guess.

"And anyway," Naruto continued, a devious grin growing on his face. "Why would I need to buy one... when I could steal one! Yes, yes..."

Shino remained silent. We're this an anime, he thought, a single sweatdrop might appear on the back of his head. He knew where this was going. A pair of bugs skittered up his neck and plugged earbuds into his ears.

"Shino!" Naruto cried as he leapt to his feet. "We're gonna-"

But all Shino could hear was Breaking Benjamin.