Disclaimer: I own nothing. They're all Mark's. I just get to play with them.
Basically, these random musings are parodies of some aspects of One Tree Hill.
Without further ado, Prom Night At Hater High (in my own way). Enjoy. - TBK
Prom Night At Hater High
Brooke: I would die if anyone ever saw this.
Nathan: Don't worry, nobody will ever know.
Peyton: *bugged eyed emo angst*
(Pin Drop)
Haley: Am I going to have to slap a bitch?
Flashback: Nathan's Rockin Bash
Nathan: Next body shot is on Peyton!
Peyton: Excuse me?
Nathan: Aw be a good sport goldielocks.
Peyton: You gonna let the football team mount me too?
Nathan: Yeah why not.. Wait, Tree Hill has a football team?
Mark: I know I forgot something.
Peyton: Unbelievable.
Nathan: Hey! What's the big deal? My mom always taught me to share and here I am, sharing you.
Peyton: With every male over fifteen.
Nathan: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Peyton: We are so done Nathan!
Nathan: How long?
Peyton: How long for what?
Nathan: Until we have make up sex? I need to plan my night accordingly.
*Peyton walks out*
Nathan: I spy with my little eye...
*Nathan plops self onto couch next to the VeryDrunk!Promiscous!Brooke*
Brooke: I'm drunk.
Nathan: What'sherface dumped me again.
*And this is the catalyst for shocking Brathan sex tape.. Seriously.*
Upstairs at Nathan's Rockin Bash
Nathan: You don't mind if I record this do you?
Brooke: Promise you'll erase it.
Nathan: Like I would forget that and have this bite me in the ass later.
Present Day
Crowd: OOoooooOOO
Brooke: Peyton.. I don't know–
Peyton: *administers one fist beatdown*
Rachel's House
Rachel: God, you look like a retarded raccoon.
Brooke: Screw you.
Rachel: Like Nathan did? Or like Lucas did? Or like..
Brooke: Shut. Up.
Rachel: Well then I leave you, one-eyed freak. I have to go seduce Principal Turner into not expelling me.
*Lucas walks in*
Rachel: Here for the deleted scenes?
*Rachel leaves*
Lucas: How are you feeling?
Brooke: Like some bitchy blonde punched me in the face.
Lucas: Good description.
Brooke: How mad is she?
Lucas: When I left her she was making a voodoo doll of you and she had a lot of pins on scattered on the table.
Brooke: Great. Just great.
Lucas: I can't believe you slept with my brother.
Brooke: Did I mention I was really drunk? Like really really drunk?
Deb Scott's House of Booze
Haley: You slept with Brooke.
Nathan: It was a one time deal.
Haley: And that's supposed to make me feel better? *goes to kitchen*
Nathan: Hales?
(Drawers open and close)
Nathan: ... Haley?
Haley: Yes?
Nathan: What are you doing with the knife?
Haley: How familiar are you with the process of neutering?
Nathan: .... I'll just go now.
Red Room of Records
Lucas: So.. About last night.
Peyton: Did something happen last night?
Lucas: Uh.. Yeah.
Peyton: Oh, you mean the tape of my ex-boyfriend and ex-friend sleeping together for the whole class to see?
Lucas: If it makes you feel any better.. Brooke feels terrible about it.
Peyton: And how would you know?
Lucas: I stopped by earlier. You know Brooke's on the way and all.
Peyton: You know what else is on the way? The front door. You know what to do.
Rachel's House
Brooke: Here for an encore?
Nathan: I just wanted to apologize for being for not destroying the tape like I said I would.
Brooke: Yeah, that would have been nice. How is Haley taking it?
Nathan: She chased me out of the house with a butcher knife..
Brooke: :O
Nathan: *shrugs*
Prom Place
Chase: Brooke?
Brooke: I'll talk to you in a minute!
Haley: You! You slept with my husband!
Brooke: Haley..
Crowd: OOOooooooOOOO
Brooke: I would feel a lot more comfortable if you weren't waving the staple gun around.
Haley: Maybe I should staple a chastity belt to your butt. Then you wouldn't sleep with other people's husbands!
Brooke: He wasn't your husband at the time..
Peyton: Yeah, but he was my boyfriend!
Brooke: You two were broken up!
Haley: *shoots staple gun and Brooke ducks in the nick of time*
Brooke: You winged me!
Haley: Next time I'll get you in the other eye harlot!
Peyton: Oh allow me.
*Peyton administers one-fist beatdown*
Rachel's House
Brooke: Now I look like an actual raccoon.
Rachel: *lol*
Brooke: Don't you have things to do? Like run over kittens or something?
Rachel: I already tried to seduce Turner. He totally bats for the other team.
Deb Scott's House of Booze
Haley: I want a list of every girl you've been with!
Nathan: Seriously?
Haley: What? Can't remember them all?
Nathan: No..
Haley: Oh, so you can remember them!
Nathan: *sighs* I won't win huh.
Haley: *throws phonebook at Nathan* Just cross out every girl you haven't been with!
(Five minutes pass by and Nathan hasn't moved)
Haley: UNBELIEVABLE!
Nathan: Okay, okay! *crosses out two names and hands phonebook back*
Haley: Deb Scott and Karen Roe...
Nathan: ......
Haley: ........
Nathan: ..... I'll just go now.
Prom Place
Chase: I cannot be with anyone so morally corrupt.
Brooke: Do you know who you are in real life?
Sawyer Residence
Brooke: Open up damn you!
(Door opens)
Peyton: *administers one-fist beatdown*
(Door closes)
Brooke: I really should have been prepared for that.
(Brooke knocks again and Peyton opens the door)
Peyton: Even I get tired of punching you in the face.
Brooke: Listen to me, Million Dollar Bitchy, the sextape wasn't a big deal!
Peyton: Oh, but it meant something to certain people like oh.. Haley, Chase, me.
Brooke: For the last time, you and Nathan were broken up!
Peyton: Which was our M.O. at the time!
Brooke: Oh I forgot, your relationship with Nathan was a string of miserable one night stands!
Peyton: Why are you describing your life to me Brooke?
Brooke: I like how you went after Lucas, not once, but twice. And we were never broken up either time!
Peyton: What do Lucas and I messing around have to with you sleeping with Nathan?
Brooke: ... Nothing.
Peyton: Glad we came to an understanding.
(Peyton shuts the door)
Deb's House of Booze
Lucas: It's not that bad right? It happened two years ago.
Haley: I should neuter you too.
Lucas: *chokes on water*
Sawyer Residence
(Brooke eggs the Saywer house)
Peyton: You have the gall to stand here. Throw raw eggs at my house.
Brooke: Like you had the gall to go after my boyfriend, not once, but twice!
Peyton: Maybe I should have had sex with him at the time! Then we'd be even!
Brooke: OH! *throws egg* And I want my dress back Fauxdilocks!
Peyton: You little.. *body tackles Brooke*
Dan Scott House of Torture
(Nathan walks into living room to see Dan doing the Macarena)
Nathan: And there, ladies and gentlemen is the reason why I can't dance.
Sawyer Residence (Where Peyton and Brooke are still going at it)
Brooke: I have three black eyes, no boyfriend, no dress, and you're going to prom with the guy that you love so you win! You win!
Peyton: I win? Brooke, this has been one of the worst years of my life. I needed my best friend more than ever and you cut me out because I was honest with you and you were never ever honest with me. You made fun of my mom's death Brooke. You knew her, you cried with me when she died. And now you use her as a punchline, as a joke to hurt me. It hurt, it did, but not anymore. Cause you and me, we're done. You were right, she's dead and as far as I'm concerned so are you.
Mark: *weeps silently* That was so.. Beautiful. *sniffles*
(Peyton goes in and door closes)
Brooke: Damn her "Hail Peyton" speech. It actually had points.
Deb's House of Booze
Nathan: Is it okay to come in?
Hales: I still want your reproductive bits on a silver platter.
Nathan: And I'll be at the Rivercourt.
Rachel's House
Rachel: I got expelled. It's official!
Brooke: I should go to Turner. I mean it's my fault you cheated.
Rachel: Please, you totally shouldn't take responsibility for your part. Who does that anymore? Anyway, I'm on my first flight out.
Brooke: I guess I should pack.
Rachel: Don't worry about it. Stay.
Brooke: But this is your house.
Rachel: Sure it is!
(Sirens wail)
Brooke: This is your house right?
(Sirens get louder)
Brooke: Rachel?
Rachel: Ok, so I married some old guy and then killed him for the house and money.
Brooke: WHAT?!
Rachel: You were the best friend I've never had, but it's time for us to say goodbye. *Rachel moves toward open window*
Brooke: Are you jumping out of the window?
Rachel: Toodles, Brookie monster! *Rachel crawls out of the window*
Brooke: You can't be serious. RACHEL!
Rachel: By the way, make up with Peyton before you graduate or Mark will cry in his Cheerios.
(Brooke sticks her head out the window)
Brooke: Mouth!?
Mouth: We're going on the lamb baby!
Rachel: Ciao!
(They leave)
Police: Rachel Gattina, you are under arrest!
Brooke: Shit.