A – Articulate

I can never seem to articulate the words that I have hidden deep inside my heart. I want to say them to him so badly, but I never can. I try, and I fail each time. I want him to know how much he means to me, with every thing he says and does, but it's hard. Krad would never stand for it, and I don't think Daisuke would react well. Or Dark; heaven knows that brute would blow if he knew. But it's getting more and more difficult to keep hidden, and yet more and more difficult to say.

'I'm in love with you.'

'I don't want to let you go.'

'I don't want to hurt you anymore.'

'I don't want to keep fighting.'

'I care about you.'

'I like you.'

'I love you more than you'll know.'

'I don't know how, but I fell for you.'

'Listen to me. Look at me. You need to know what I feel for you.'

'I want to kiss you.'

'I want to protect you.'

'I want to be free, with you by my side.'

…All these things and more are what I want to articulate. But I never can. I search for these words, and I might get the first word out (which is 'I' for most of them), and maybe the next syllable or letter (which is usually 'd' or 'l' or 'w'), and yet I can't get much father. Once or twice I might've said as far as the entire next word ('don't' or 'want'), but I either got cut off or I changed my mind and said something else for the rest of the sentence.

Why can't I speak very much when I'm around him? Niwa Daisuke is supposed to be my enemy. The little redhead is supposed to the furthest thing from my friend or lover, and yet he already became one of those two. I'd like it to be the second choice, but I know that such a thing can never happen. I don't have very long to live, and I doubt in that short time I can make his feelings for Riku shift from her to me. It's not possible. Plus, Krad will get in the way. He always does.

So I'm stuck with a dozen words I can't articulate, swirling in a sorrowful pool in the bottom on my heart.

A/N: So I made a poll not too long ago. It had the title, 'If I do an alphabet-themed collection of drabbles, what pairing/category should I do it for?' There were 52 choices, but only about seven were picked. Getting restless and bored, I cut it off and chose four out of those seven. Oddly, all the choices we either vague or gay, so the four I picked out were MelloXNear (Death Note gayness), AllenXLavi (D. Gray-Man gayness), NaruGaa (Naruto gayness), and SatoDai (D. N. Angel gayness).

I already picked out what each letter will be for all of the pairings, which makes 104 planned drabbles that I have to write. No pressure, eh?