AceBrown: This story came around when my friend and I were drunk :P and playing Mario Kart Wii. I saw another story similar to this one…it inspired me to write this.

Told Mostly from Mario's POV

P.S. – I hate Mario Kart Wii CPU racers…they're so darn cheap

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Mario characters in this story. Blah Blah Blah…

Chapter 1: Uh Oh

Mario scrambled up the wooden porch of his house around 5-ish in the morning. It was still dark outside, but Mario knew the sun would be up soon. He frantically searched his pockets before giving up and banging his fist against the door. After a few seconds of pounding, he planted himself against the door, laying back against it with a look of pure shock over the events of the past 12 hours….

12 hours before

"Party? Another one?" said Luigi skeptically as he eyed the invitation given to him by Mario. Mario nodded happily.

"Yeah, but this isn't like our other Mario Parties! This is a party with just "the guys!" When have we ever had a party with just "the guys!"

"I don't know Mario…"

"Be a man Weegi! It'll be us, Wario, D.K…"

"What will we be doing?" Luigi inquired.

"MAN stuff! Maybe you'll grow a lil' bit of hair on your chest after tonight!" laughed Mario as he patted Luigi on the back. Luigi nervously chuckled while rubbing the back of his head.

"Shut up Mario!"

8 hours before

Mario walked up to the doorsteps of Wario's giant house carrying a pair of 8-case beers. It was a black 3-story house, with statues of Wario in the lawn. Mario set a case down and ringed the doorbell, then looked behind him to witness a very nervous Luigi holding another pair of 8-case beers.

"Weegi, be cool…we're gonna have fun tonight."

"O-okay Mario."

"Luigi can be such a wimp at times" Mario mused to himself as he bent down slightly to pick up the case of beer. Suddenly, the door opened and Wario stood at the entrance.

"If it ain't Mario Mother-fucking Mario!" Wario said while laughing out loud. Mario could tell Wario started partying a little bit early.

"Wario, you son of a bitch! I told you to wait until we got here to start drinking!" said Mario as he eased his way inside the house past Wario.

"Don't blame me! Blame Donkey Kong! He started drinking first!"

Indeed, Donkey Kong was sitting on the couch, chugging a beer can in a matter of seconds.

"D.K.! You're a fucking animal!" yelled Mario as he set the cases down on a small table near the drunken ape. Donkey Kong couldn't speak English, so he belched out a surprised cry before slipping off the couch. Mario and Wario laughed out loud.

"He's such a lightweight…" said Wario while plopping himself on the couch, cracking open two cans of beer. Mario grabbed a can of beer and took a huge swig before sitting down on a nearby chair.

"I have the perfect plan for tonight." said Wario happily. Meanwhile, Mario noticed Luigi was sitting nervously by D.K. without any booze in his vicinity.

"Catch" yelled Mario as he tossed Luigi a beer. Luigi caught it and looked at it hesitantly. Luigi wasn't much of a drinker, but Mario planned to get Luigi at least tipsy tonight. Waluigi suddenly appeared in the living room, twirling a pair of keys on his forefinger. He remained silent.

"Listen, we know what we can't do crap here in the Mushroom Kingdoom without it getting back to the Princess and the paparazzi. So, I've taken the liberty of finding a place where we can party our asses off without any worry" started Wario.

"I'm listening" said Mario

"So, I found a place close to Rougeport. Trust me, it is fucking sweet! We have to take a couple of pipes to get there, but it'll be totally worth it!" exclaimed Wario

"No good, I'm known around there! Even Luigi is known around there."

"Trust me; this won't get back to the Mushroom Kingdom."

Mario thought for a moment. Mario couldn't risk tarnishing his image over a crazy night with "the guys." Also, he didn't want to ruin his "potential" relationship with the Princess.

"We'll just use some fake names just to be safe" added Mario before starting on his 4th can.

"Awwww…you're too worried!" said Wario as he got up from the couch, tilting back and forth slightly.

"Waluigi here is our designated driver."

Donkey Kong tossed a can at Waluigi jokingly. But, Waluigi dodged it and glared at D.K. Donkey Kong hopped up and down excitedly while laughing.

"Well let's-a go!" said Mario as he snuck up behind Luigi, pulled his nose back so that Luigi's head tilted back, and poured a can of beer down Luigi's throat. Luigi flailed about before coughing up some of the beer, consuming most of it.

"M-Mario! What the hell, man!" Luigi sputtered out between breathes

"You were babysitting that can I tossed you for the longest!" said Mario as he and Wario lead the way out of the house. Soon, the whole gang of Wario, Mario, Donkey Kong, Waluigi, and Luigi hopped in Wario's purple car with Wario in the passenger seat and Waluigi driving. As they drove off, Wario, Mario, and D.K. finished off what was left of the beers while Luigi drunk one more can at a moderate pace.

6 hours before

"Alright boys, let's get this party started!" said Wario before hopping out of the car along with the other guys. The club was surprisingly packed and looked nice. Mario had to admit, Wario was a cunning motherfucker. After waiting for 30 minutes in line, the guys finally got inside the club. Indeed, the club was packed to the brim with random Toads, Humanoids, and other creatures dancing. Surprisingly, D.K. was the first to find a couple of babes, impressing them with his physique. Mario was next, as a couple of female onlookers was intrigued by his burliness. Luigi and Waluigi stood around while Wario basically embarrassed himself trying to hook up with random chicks.

"Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all night long!"

"I may not be a genie, but I can make ALL your dreams come true!"

"I wanna bag you like some groceries!"

"Did you fart? Because you blew me away!"

The last random girl threw her drink in Wario's face before walking away with her other female friends.

"What?" yelled Wario as he stumbled into another unsuspecting lady. The woman took a good look at Wario before saying,

"You're drunk!"

"No, I'm just intoxicated on you." said Wario cheekily as he pulled the female closer to him. Much to even his surprise, the woman began to giggle and leaned against him.

"You're funny…that line was corny, but it was cute too!"

"How about we find a private area and learn more about each other…" said Wario as he raised his eyebrows twice to emphasize the "each other." The lady nodded as both of them headed off to a secluded part of the club…

Mario was just outside of the dance floor, moving from side to side while looking at Luigi and Waluigi lean back against the wall.

"You two are so lame!" said Mario as he started doing a dance he referred to as "The Mario."

"Swing your arms…from side to side…" started Mario as Luigi facepalmed himself. Then, two random females, a blonde and a brunette walked up on either side of Mario.

"What kind of dance is that?" said the blonde.

"It's called the Mario!" said Mario nonchalantly while still dancing.

"You mean the Hero from the Mushroom Kingdom?" replied the brunette

"Yeah, I'm…" trailed Mario before realizing he had to keep a low key. Dressed in casual clothes rather than his traditional outfit, no one recognized him. Mario shook his head before beginning again.

"I mean, I made it up and named it after him!" while checking out the two females. The brunette was slim with full pink lips while the blonde was slightly shorter, but curvier in the right areas, if you know what I mean.

"That dance is stupid" said the blonde, emitting giggles between both ladies.

"You're just mad that you can't do it!" retorted Mario*

The blonde and brunette looked at each other before busting into their own version of "The Mario." While moving "from side to side", they added a skip which made it look even better. After doing this around 8 times, they did a full 360 spin leading into an almost full split, both females slowly rose from the split in a seductive manner. Quite a few of the other people in the club cheered and whistled. Mario smirked, obviously viewing this as a challenge. He looked around for a dance battle partner. Luigi and Waluigi were hopeless. Eventually, Mario found D.K. sweet-talking some random female Kong.

Mario ran up to D.K and dragged him to the dance area.

"Dude, what the fuck?" thought D.K. as he tried to pry himself away from Mario. Too bad he couldn't speak English.

"Yo, you gotta help me dance battle these two broads!" replied Mario as if reading DK's mind. But, Mario noticed D.K. was heavily intoxicated. He was his only hope though.

Mario and D.K. arrived to the spot as the crowd began to circle them.

"Alright, we're doing The Mario, but we gotta add a skip to it. Just follow my lead."

"The Mario? That dance sucks!" cried D.K. mentally, but it was too late. Mario started doing the dance, perfectly imitating the females' rendition of it. Donkey Kong joined in, emitting some cheers from the onlookers. After about 6 skips, Mario cried,

"Now spin!"

Both Mario and Donkey Kong did a full 360 spin, but while Mario finished the spin with a peace-sign pose, Donkey fell back into the crowd passed out. The two ladies laughed out loud while pointing at D.K.

"Drunk-y monkey!" said the blonde. The crowd roared with laughter. Then, the two girls suddenly started doing another dance in perfect synchrony. The dance moves had a lot of ballet-esque moves, but the girls added sexiness to it.

"I'm screwed" thought Mario as he witnessed the almost flawless dance from the blonde/brunette duo. Mario turned toward Luigi and Waluigi with pleading eyes. Luigi sighed and walked towards Mario.

"Yes, Bro.!" said Mario as he pumped his first

"The Jumpman! We'll do the Jumpman!" exclaimed Mario as Mario and Luigi faced each other. They both did a quick shuffle with their feet before tapping the sides of their right feet together, shuffling back and repeating the tap again. On the 3rd shuffle, they hooked their feet together and hopped in a semi-circle. Then, they unhooked their feet and turned around, with their back facing either and tapped the heel of their shoes. They crowd went crazy over their fancy footwork.

"Nice Moves" said the blonde as both girls walked toward the Bros. Mario began dancing with the blonde while Luigi danced with the brunette. After about an hour, the blonde and Mario found a corner and began making out furiously. Both of their tongues fought for dominance as the blonde wrapped her arms around Mario, pressing her ample chest into him. Somewhere in the back of Mario's mind, he knew he shouldn't be doing this. He was in a solid relationship with Princess Peach and he had the reputation as basically Mr. Perfect. But, the alcohol and hormones was telling Mario that he wasn't Mario aka Mr. Goodie McGood tonight. He was this other guy tonight... A guy that was enjoying himself immensely as he crept a hand up the woman's skirt, rubbing two fingers against her womanhood through her panties. She grabbed his wrist firmly with two hands, stopping his advances.

"Not here…here's my number. We'll meet up later…" she seductively whispered in Mario's ear. She slipped a small note in Mario's pocket before heading into the crowd, probably looking for her friend. Mario smiled to himself while walking towards Luigi and Waluigi. Mario took his two "lucky" fingers and placed them under Luigi's nose.

"What does this smell like?" slurred Mario as Luigi quickly shoved Mario and turned his head away. Waluigi and Mario laughed.

"What the hell, Mario! What did you do?" questioned Luigi.

"Obviously, he got some action." stated Waluigi matter-of-factly. Mario nodded up and down excitedly.

"Yeah, I got a lil finger action with that blonde!" chirped Mario.

"MARIO! WHAT ABOUT PEACH!" yelled Luigi. That's when sudden realization hit Mario. What about Peach? They weren't officially together, but they did spend a lot of time together and many assumed they were a couple. Before Mario could respond, Wario came up to the group and placed two fingers under Luigi's nose. Luigi slapped Wario's hand away as Wario, Mario, and Waluigi burst into a fit of giggles.

"Guess who got some ass tonight!" said Wario boastfully as he pointed to himself

"Dude, you went all the way in the club?" asked Mario in an energetic manner.

"Hells yeah!" replied Wario, hi-fiving Mario in the process.

"We should probably get out of here, the club is dying down and we can beat the traffic." said Waluigi. The group agreed.

"Where the hell is D.K." said Wario. As if on cue, D.K. stumbled very sloppily toward the group and almost shoved two fingers into Luigi's nose. Luigi stumbled back and clenched both hands over his nose with a look of pure disgust over his face.

"I don't even wanna know what the hell THAT is!"

The rest of the guys laughed out loud. Wario and Mario carried D.K. out while Waluigi and Luigi walked ahead of them, leading the way towards the car. On the way, they ran into the two ladies that Mario and Luigi battle danced against. The blonde and Mario walked towards each other.

"So…I guess I'll be calling you later." said Mario as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Or…you can meet me at the dock of Rougeport in 10 minutes after I make sure my sister is ok…"

"I'll think about it" Mario replied coolly as he started walking back towards his friends.

"Don't make me wait" the girl replied for she left with her sister.

As the guys tosses D.K. in the back of the car and hopped in, they couldn't wait to question Mario about the blonde.

"So you gonna get some tonight?" Wario inquired

"Maybe…" replied Mario coolly as he lean back, putting his hands behind his head.

"What about the Princess?" cried Luigi, trying to push a drooling D.K. off of his side.

"The Princess and I aren't even together officially yet! I'm just having a lil fun Weegi. I'm not gonna do anything to hurt the Princess. I'm the good guy, remember? Oh by the way, I need you guys to drop me off near the dock of Rougeport"

Wario flipped Mario a red condom and burst into a fit of laughter.

"You might need this! Ha ha ha!"

Mario pulled out his wallet and pulled out an identical, but larger condom.

"Only Magnum baby!"

Both Mario and Wario erupted in laughter. Luigi looked at them both worriedly. He would never talk to another girl if he was as close to Daisy as Mario is to Peach. Luigi believed in true love and he thought it was sad how Mario and Wario acted. Mario noticed Luigi's worried look and tried to reaffirm his point of view.

"Look Weegi, I haven't gotten any since Pauline…I'm not gonna do anything to hurt Peach. I'mma just talk with this girl…keep in contact…then ask Peach where we stand so I can know what to do in the future." whispered Mario to Luigi. Luigi seemed to believe him as a slight smile came upon his face and he nodded.

Soon, the gang dropped Mario off near the dock.

"Beat it up, Mario! Beat it up!" chanted Wario before Waluigi slapped him behind the head.

"Shaddup! If you need a ride back or whatever, call us…like I care anyway though" said Waluigi as he looked at Mario hop out of the car.

"Awww your caring side is showing Waluigi" mocked Mario, placing both of his hands on one side of his cheek

"Fuck you…" said Waluigi as he drove off.

"Make sure my brother gets home!" yelled Mario as he watched the car drive into the distance. After a while, Mario began to focus on his plan of action for right now. He didn't know what to expect tonight. He promised Luigi he was only gonna talk so no matter how much his hormones raged, that was what he was gonna do.

"Gotta make sure I got some coins just in case…" thought Mario. He might need to stay in Rougeport for the night if he couldn't make it back tonight. As Mario began to pull stuff out of his pocket, the blonde showed up.

"Hey, there is something we need to t-" Mario started to say before the blonde silenced him.

"There is something I need to tell…or should I say show you first." The blonde took a few steps back and began to reach for her hair. The first thing that popped in Mario's mind was,

"Oh God, please don't let this be a man…"

But, then Mario remembered he got some finger-action so it couldn't have been a man in drag or anything crazy like that. Mario focused on the blonde and noticed she took off her hair and tossed it aside. Then, she started taking off other little accessories.

"A wig" Mario said aloud as he noticed the female had natural brown hair with an orange-ish tint to it. After the female was done, she looked at Mario.

"I'm a Princess known as Princess Daisy of Sarasaland. I don't want you to freak out or anything." But, it was too late. Mario dropped everything and stared at Daisy with fear in his eyes. This was probably the worst possible thing that could happen to Mario. Daisy was Luigi's secret love and also, Peach's cousin and best friend. Mario was screwed, he made out with her! Luckily, Daisy didn't recognize him…so Mario did what the first thing in his mind told him to do…he ran.

Mario ran all the way back to the Mushroom Kingdom, frantically trying to find his way home as thoughts of Daisy ran through his head.

"No way….no…..way!" said Mario as he stumbled into Toad Town and into the pipe that lead to his house.

Present

Luigi opened the door, letting in a very distraught Mario.

"Mario, what the hell happened to you?" said Luigi as he eyed Mario. Mario ignored him and headed to bed. He stripped down to his boxers and hopped to the top bunk, trying to force himself to sleep to forget tonight's shocking development.

Poor Luigi. Lol This was actually pretty fun for me to write. Don't worry…it gets worse :-)

* Got the whole dance part from the movie House Party :-)

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