Disclaimer: Because everyone knows that the people who own big series like TMNT and Hellboy spend their time writing fanfiction.

Thanks to RangerKimmy for encouraging this undoubtedly unhealthy enthusiasm for TMNT. Enjoy!

"Now where is that sucker?"

Michelangelo froze in place, clutching his skateboard as if he intended to use it as a weapon (which he probably could). That definitely didn't sound like anyone who had come down here before, and that list had grown substantially of late.

"I have no idea." This voice managed to be militaristically level and convey annoyance at the same time.

"You'd think a giant turtle wouldn't be that hard to find," the first voice grumbled.

The giant turtle rocked back on his heels and shifted his grip on the skateboard in alarm. He was tempted to show them exactly how hard it could be to find him, but the continuation of their conversation held him there. He might as well figure out what kind of evil ninjas were invading this time. He edged very stealthily toward the bend in the tunnel and leaned around it.

"This looks likely," someone else said. Mikey couldn't tell who had spoken. Five people stared off into a connecting tunnel, and he could hear the sound of rushing water. Only one of them was really visible from the light from the gutter; he was wearing a pressed suit, sunglasses, and a bland expression. Okay, so maybe they weren't ninjas. Ninjas didn't look like they were straight out of a James Bond movie.

"This your stop, Blue?" the first voice grunted.

After a pause, a mild, modulated voice, presumably Blue, said, "Nothing. If it was ever here, it's long gone."

"All right. Who's ready to call it a night?"

"Wait," Blue interrupted softly. "We're not alone."

Mikey backed away slowly. He didn't really start running until he heard multiple footsteps following him, far too close for comfort. He used every trick he knew to lose them while sprinting at full speed, but every time he glanced back, they were still in sight. Those CIA guys were fast. Mikey needed a new plan.

"Cut him off!"

A few seconds later, when two agents jumped out in front of him, he sent his skateboard rocketing at one and knocked the other one on the head with his own gun. He only slowed down long enough to grab his skateboard before dashing off to the left. The familiar sound of water gave him an idea. He turned around so that he was jogging backwards and made a rude face at the remaining agents before pushing off a wall and diving into a connecting tunnel. He landed with a splash in the flowing sewage water. "Suckers," he crowed, and began to swim home.

This was new. Mikey had never run into (from) CIA guys before. It was pretty exciting. Maybe if they came after him more often, he'd be able to see some cool spyware in action.

It was this train of thought that prevented Mikey from noticing sooner that someone was following him. Even creepier was the fact that the agent dude was swimming faster than he was. He knew that the skateboard was hindering him, but he was a turtle, for crying out loud! What kind of training did spies have to go through, anyway? He set his board up on the concrete and shoved off, moving farther with more powerful strokes. It didn't do any good; the CIA guy was still gaining. It occurred to Mikey that leading a spy straight to his family was a bad idea. As long as it was just the one guy, Mikey could take him and get home before the backup caught up with him.

With this new plan of action, Mikey swung himself up onto the walkway, drew his nunchaku, and waited, bouncing on the balls of his feet and swinging his nunchaku in dizzying loops. He didn't have to wait long. His pursuer had been right behind him. Mikey tensed as a figure dragged itself out of the water, but then his eyes widened. "Dude," he said, drawing out the word to communicate shock and bewilderment simultaneously.

Enormous black eyes not-quite-blinked at him as the being cocked his head curiously, revealing gills on the side of his neck. He slowly stretched one hand toward Mikey, spreading his webbed fingers. Blue skin of varying shades glistened in the dim light. Oh. That would make him –

"Yes," the fish agent said in answer to his thoughts, amusement coloring the calm voice, "I'm 'Blue.'"

Mikey couldn't do anything but stare for a moment, twirling one of his weapons uneasily. This guy didn't look like he wanted a fight. What was going on? Mikey had lost track of the situation. He decided to stick with the safest question for now. "What do you want?"

Blue lowered his hand. "I am from the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense. We are hunting a demon which has recently either broken loose or been summoned. It was last reported here, in the sewers of New York City."

"Oh." That kind of made sense. They had been hearing weird, distant noises for the past couple of days, but they hadn't actually found anything. Whoops – that reminded him. He totally wasn't supposed to be out here skateboarding, much less being chased around by agents. With CIA guys involved, there was no way he was going to get out of this one. He was in so much trouble. He might as well drag this out as long as he could. "What kind of demon?"

"It's called Reiki. It is an obscure demon from Japan which, incidentally, resembles a turtle." Blue added wryly, "I apologize for the confusion."

"It's cool." Mikey grinned. "It's my first time getting chased by super spy CIA dudes."

Blue looked dubious, but before he could respond, something on his belt beeped. He held it up to his ear and listened for a moment. "Actually, no. Apparently, we got the wrong giant turtle." He paused. "I don't know, Red. Maybe he can help. Oh, and leave Harris and his men up there, would you?" He hung up. "Red will be here soon. You'll hear him coming," he informed Mikey.

The last ten seconds had reminded Mikey that he had backup, too, and he was starting to get nervous enough to use it. He tucked one of his nunchaku into his belt and pulled out his Shell Cell. His dive into the sewer water had shot it, but a few sharp collisions with the concrete wall had it functioning again. Taking a deep breath, he called, but he held it away from his ear just in case. Sure enough, the first thing out of the speaker was Raphael bellowing, "Where are you?!"

"Uh…" Mikey looked around. "Under 32nd?"

There came the distinct sound of two people wrestling over one phone. "Hurry up and come home," Don said over Raph's, "Get your butt over here!" in the background. "Leo's having an older brother fit, and I don't even think he's the one you'll have to worry about."

Mikey grimaced. "Well… I may have run into some trouble…."

The scuffling noise came again. "What kind of trouble?" Raph growled.

"Trouble?" Leo repeated worriedly in the background.

"What's going on?" Don demanded.

"Geez!" Mikey huffed out. "Chill! You know those weird noises we heard yesterday?" General sounds of assent came from the speaker. "Turns out that there's some monster thing running around, and there are some people down here looking for it."

"People?" Leo asked suspiciously.

"Well…" Mikey began, eying Blue.

Blue cleared his throat politely. "I was wondering whether you could provide us with any information."

"Oh. They want our help," Mikey told his brothers.

Indistinct conversation made it clear that they were discussing this without him. A few seconds later, they all fell quiet at once and a single person took the phone. "Michelangelo?"

At that tone of voice, Mikey automatically tried to shrink in on himself a bit, even though the exchange was over the phone. "Yes, Sensei?"

"I made it clear that none of you were to wander the sewers until we discovered the source of those sounds."

Mikey looked down and fiddled with his nunchaku. "Yes, Sensei."

"We will discuss this further when you are home." The reprimand was over for now, and Master Splinter's voice became much lighter as he continued, "Now, who wants our help?"

"Um…"

"The Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense," Blue said helpfully, watching his end of the tunnel.

"Yeah… some government thing." Mikey considered. "I think they're all right, though." A thump and a few curses from up the tunnel distracted him from whatever Master Splinter said next. A moment later, something came up behind Blue. Mikey could only assume that the gigantic figure with a stone hand and stubs of horns was Red. Mikey waved at him.

"Michelangelo?"

"Huh?" He returned his attention to the phone. "Yes?"

"I asked whether you are certain that these people will not harm us because of what we are."

Mikey glanced over at the huge red demon in a trench coat and the blue fish guy. "Oh, yeah. I'm sure."