A/N: this is my first movie-based oneshot and there will probably not be a lot of those. book-based fics are so much more fun to write! but i really wanted to write something, and Bella's cactus turned out to be a good enough prompt, so there you have it. i'd love it if you review - happy reading x
Home
In spite of my general resentment to the cold and wet, I loved those rainy mornings when we just sat in my room, doing nothing. Today was one of these days. Charlie was at work, and I wasn't expecting him until later that afternoon. Edward showed up shortly after Charlie had left. Our initial plans to drive to Port Angeles were soon changed with the first drops of rain hitting against my window. I didn't mind much as for how we were going to spend the day. As long as he was there, I was fine.
It was cold in my room, so I made myself a cup of tea before I settled in front of my computer to start an email for my mom. Edward was on my bed, well into the book he was reading, one of his journals open by his side. The silence between us was easy, comfortable. It had never felt awkward with him, even when we had nothing at all to say to one another. There were times when words were just unnecessary.
I stole a glance at him when I thought he wasn't looking. The title of his book was unreadable to me; I thought it was Latin, but I wasn't sure. And he looked so well into it; I hated interrupting him. Every few moments he would stop reading, just to scribble a line in his journal. I could imagine how he had spent his nights before his nightly visits to my room. He became completely still when he read, as if nothing would distract him. I could see him in my mind, reading endlessly until the break of dawn. I sighed inwardly. It was a sad image.
"What's the story behind this one?" he suddenly asked, shaking me out of my reverie.
I blinked and looked across the room, wondering what had caught his interest this time. He used to do that from time to time, when he grew tired of his books. It was always those small, trivial things that ignited his curiosity: a photo on my notice board, a CD of a band he didn't recognize, a random scribble on a post-it. He reminded me of a kid when he did that, constantly questioning, hungry for knowledge. "Just a farewell gift from my mom, that's all," I replied, smiling fondly at the small cactus by my bedside. I remembered my first day in Forks, how I could hardly let it go. I was anxious it wouldn't last in this new and unfamiliar weather; a part of me dreaded going to school, fearing it would die while I was away. It was sort of silly, I knew, but at the time I couldn't help it. And still, it'd been a few months, and the cactus was still intact.
I almost laughed at myself when the analogy became clear to me all of a sudden. In a way, I was it: small and fragile and unused for the cold. And yet in spite of everything and against all odds, we both survived. I smiled to myself as this realization revealed itself to me. It turned out that my cactus had more of a story than I realized.
"Do you miss it a lot?"
Again, this insatiable curiosity. He used to ask me about Phoenix a lot. He never grew tired of it. I didn't mind his questions though. They didn't make me sad, just somewhat nostalgic. "Sometimes I do."
"What is it that you miss the most? Except for the obvious," he added, his eyes darting to my window, where the rain was still hitting rhythmically against the glass.
"Well," I said slowly, buying time, because honestly, I couldn't imagine a life in which he had not taken part. It was extremely difficult to even remember the way my life had been before he had changed them so completely. I left my seat and went to sit on my bed next to him, suddenly longing for his nearness. He scooted a bit, giving me more room. "Except for the obvious… There's my mom, the talks we used to have. It's not the same on the phone, or on emails." I looked guiltily at the computer screen, at the email I now knew I wouldn't be able to send. "I miss the sunsets, the way the sky go all pink and orange in a way that makes you regret you've never studied photography. I miss a proper summer break where the sun actually shines," I smiled bitterly at that. "I miss the fact I was never the new girl in Phoenix. I was never stared at or whispered about. Being a nobody is easier."
"There's another thing," he said, gently taking my hand. "You were safe at home."
I gave him one doubtful look. After what happened nearly two months ago, I was anything but safe there, or anywhere for that matters. And it was strange to me that after all this time, after everything we had been through in the last few months, he was still referring to Phoenix as my home. Besides, he was forgetting one important fact.
"My home is where you are," I reminded him, lightly squeezing his hand. "It's too late. No one could ever do anything to change it."
"Not even me?" he asked, half teasing, half serious, as if challenging me.
But I would not be challenged. I had made up my mind. If my cactus was strong enough to face the change, so was I. "Not even you," I replied evenly. "I'm going to be where you are… forever."