Title: A moment of weakness

Summary: A moment of weakness can lead to a lifetime of regret.

Okay! So I finished consequences, yay!! This came to me while I was writing the last chapter - this is only 2 parts, I'm going to finish Faultless hopefully this week and then really get stuck into orginial sin, thanks to Jessica R who allowed me to bounce idea's off of her.

She didn't do this.

Usually after a difficult day, a day of fighting with her partner she would go home, drink a glass of wine or five and sulk. She would constantly think about every word that had viciously come out of her partners mouth as they verbally ripped each other to shreds, wondering if everything he said was true. She would usually sit alone, breaking down every insult from the most important person in her life before eventually slipping into a restless sleep.

Today had been one of the worst fights, he'd thrown her childhood and lack of children in her face while she threw his marriage and failures as a father in his, Fin had been forced to step between them when they got so close it looked like things were about to get physical. Of course both she and Elliot knew it never would, words would do much more damage and already had.

Olivia Benson usually sat alone, dissecting every comment, every grunt, every word she didn't head to the nearest bar because she didn't have any wine at home, she didn't get drunk alone wondering if she would catch the perp that had been terrorising women for months, driving her and her colleague mad, eventually causing them to turn on each other, something they often did when a case was looking like it wasn't going to be solved, when it looked like no matter how hard they tried they weren't going to find the son of a bitch.

She didn't smile when a handsome stranger sat next to her, telling her she looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders and she certainly didn't accept drinks from the said stranger and blush when he told her that she was beautiful. She didn't feel a flutter in her stomach when someone gently ran their hand along her cheek, and she didn't carry on drinking when she knew she had already had too much.

She didn't giggle – ever. She didn't do shots with charming strangers whose name just wouldn't come to her no matter how hard she stared at him and she didn't allow alcohol to cloud her judgement. His sandy hair and hazel eyes overwhelmed her for just a moment, she shook her head, the alcohol clouding her judgement. Olivia Benson did not swoon.

Olivia Benson didn't do any of these things and yet as she ran her hands through the handsome strangers hair as he bit her lip, roughly pushing her against the door to his apartment she simply didn't care. She didn't want to be the Olivia Benson who sat alone, pining for a man she could never have, someone who used her as an emotional punch bag, someone that she could no longer face knowing what he really thought of her.

"You wanna tell me what the hell your problem is?" Elliot marched angrily into the locker room, stopping as he saw her in the process of unbuttoning her shirt.

"Do you mind?" she didn't even raise her eyes to look at him.

"She's lying."

"You think she's lying," she looked up, finally ready to meet his gaze, surprised to see him embarrassedly looking away from her. She frowned.

Shit.

He hadn't meant to stare at her chest, he'd caught the tiniest bit of cleavage just as she met his gaze. Strangely this only angered him more.

Only two minutes later after trying to talk calmly he threw the sucker punch.

"You don't get it do you, she's not you Olivia she's not some kid no one loves, she's not the product of rape and her mother isn't a raging drunk."

Her bottom lip trembled. She's not some kid no one loves?

"This kid is a brat who had sex and got caught out I can see it and if you weren't so blinded by your screwed up childhood you'd be able to see it. Jesus you don't even have kids, it's not as if you have anything else to go on? Christ Liv-"

"Don't throw the fact that I don't have children in my face you son of a bitch. I may not have children, the amount of times you see your kids you may as well not have any either."

"What did you say?" he tensed his jaw and clenched his fist, shocked by her words.

"You come in here with this crap, you tell me I'm blinded by my childhood? You're blinded by your children so screw you Elliot-"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

It only got worse from there.

She was shaken from her thoughts as the handsome stranger sank his teeth into her neck, she moaned aloud, shocked by the sound that ripped from her body. She couldn't remember how they agreed to leave together or who jumped who first buts he didn't care, she'd mercilessly kissed the tall sandy haired man who'd charmed his way into her thoughts. The cab ride home had been unbearable, she wanted him in her, there and then, he'd kissed her neck and ran his hand along her breast only stopping when the cab stopped outside his apartment.

Finally, he pushed open the door and pinned her against the wall of his living room, kicking the door shut as he quickly pushed her jacket off of her shoulders as she placed her hands on the sides of his face, plunging her tongue into his mouth, yet again moaning into his mouth as his hand grazed her erect nipple. Before she knew it she was unbuttoning his shirt , he was magnificent, so toned, so strong...her mind drifted as she wondered if this was what her partner's body looked like. She closed her eyes, immediately opening them again as an image of Elliot flashed through her mind, he wasn't going to ruin this, oh no, tonight would not be about him. Her head was swimming, the last three shots of whiskey were a bad idea, she shook the thoughts from her head, to hell with moping at home, she was going to enjoy herself, she deserved it.

She ran her hands along the toned torso in front of her only stopping when she got him to his belt buckle, pausing for a moment as he wrapped his hand around her throat, pulling her closer as he bit her bottom lip, smiling as she unzipped his trousers and pulled them down, taking his manhood into her hand, wishing the boxers he was wearing were gone, it was going to slowly for her liking.

He unbuttoned her shirt, revealing her lace bra and heaving chest. Almost moments later her trousers were being kicked off as he flicked his tongue over her nipple.

Oh no, Olivia Benson didn't do this, as she was lifted slowly and wrapped her legs around the handsome stranger, her back firmly against the wall, chest to chest with the man who's name she just couldn't grasp, she began to wonder if she had lost her mind, however as he slowly entered her she pushed the thoughts of her sanity, or lack of it, to the back of her mind and prayed that for just an hour she could keep Elliot where he belonged, out of her head.

**

She looked in the mirror, her head thumping as she struggled to cover the bags under her eyes. She'd woken up naked, sprawled across the stranger who she had met only hours before. She'd quietly walked around his apartment looking for every disguarded piece of clothing, praying that he wouldn't wake up, she didn't need the awkward morning after crap so she made her drunken way back home, struggling to remember exactly what had happened the night before. She couldn't even remember his name...did she even know it in the first place?

Now after a couple hours sleep and four cups of coffee she was just about starting to feel human again...nearly. She sighed as she moved her hand to her neck, the harsh purple bruise made her stomach turn. She'd always hated hickys but of course at the time she hadn't thought about it, she hadn't had sex for nearly 8 months, she more than made up for it last night, she hadn't realised quite how rough it had been until she got out of the shower and saw the numerous bruises.

She could try to deny it but as she fought against the man's every move she couldn't help but use her anger for Elliot, they fought for control with every kiss, every touch, every thrust and as it got more and more aggressively they fought for control the more she thought about Elliot, it felt wrong but she couldn't help it.

**

Two hours later, polo neck on and coffee in hand she sat going through the files, desperately trying to find any link between the rape victims. The rapist was clever, he would attack from behind and never make a sound, the victims had no description and no way of telling him apart from any other man in the street. He attacked in daylight, the brazen bastard, and he was getting a way scot free, ready to rape again at anytime.

She looked up as Elliot shifted in his seat, they hadn't said a word to each other all morning something her thumping head silently thanked him for. She had felt unbelievably hung over since waking up and she couldn't shake the nausea in her stomach...damn whiskey. She wondered if she should be ashamed that she had allowed herself to be picked up in a bar by a man who's name she couldn't even remember, she sighed and decided that she couldn't change it so there was no point regretting it, after all, he gave her what she'd needed, what she had been aching for during the long lonely nights.

"Stabler."

She blushed as Elliot answered his cell, knowing that she had climaxed at least once last night whilst imagining it was his body on top of her, inside of her, rather than the man who she had so carelessly allowed to mark her the night before.

"Son of a bitch...they've got him," he ended the call and stood up walking towards Cragen's office leaving her to assume he meant the rapist who had been driving them crazy and terrorising the women if Manhattan.

**

"Munch and Fin are bringing him in now, they caught him in the act after a report of a suspicious male loitering near the female toilets in the park," Cragen announced, "the bastard was this close to raping again, the girls screams alerted Fin and Munch and they got him. His name is Robert May and he's on his way in."

Olivia sighed a breath of relief, she could finally start sleeping again, she and Elliot could ignore each other for a little longer before the next case forced them together again and things would get back to normal. A little voice inside asked if she had arrested this Robert May before as the name seemed familiar.

She looked up as she heard the Fin's voice,

"...You were caught in the act buddy, you're going away for a long time."

She saw Munch first as he walked in, he gave her a quick smile and she knew exactly what that smile meant, they'd got the bastard. She was in the middle of returning his smile when Fin dragged the perp into the room and her world simply crashed around her. His sandy hair was sprawled across his forehead and his hazel eyes immediately locked with hers.

Her heart stopped and she struggled to steady herself as she stepped backwards, physically shaken by the sight before her as a sick twisted smile appeared on the perps lips as he spotted her, he looked like a young child on Christmas morning.

"Olivia," he grinned.

She stood still, trying to remember to breathe as the perp was pulled towards the interview room before slowly turning and quickly running towards the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach, dropping to her knees, clinging to the toilet as she struggled to compose herself, tears filling her eyes as dread completely consumed her. After hours of struggling to remember her lover form the night before she finally remembered his introduction...

"Hi, I'm Robert..."