Reasons for Drinking.

In the three weeks after the war ended Severus Snape was invited to more parties than he had even been throughout his 40-year life span.

Of course he hated it, people who would have spent the last 4 months of the war elaborating in great deal about how he had killed the one man who had faith in him, suddenly seemed eager to talk to him in an excited fashion about how he was a hero now.

Normally he would make an appearance and find the bar. Quietly and discretely getting drunk, hoping he would not embarrass himself but knowing the only way to save his sanity was swallow down drink after drink.

At the last party that the Ministry held, Potter was being followed by a troop of eager young women, begging pathetically for a dance while Weasley skipped after him. A smug grin on her face as Potter clasped her hand.

Severus stood on the shadows, glass of whisky clutched to his chest as he watched, amused by Potter's legions of fans. His face was very red and his eyes blank, his body language gave off a strong sense of annoyance and frustration but no one cared about his feelings. Just about his presence.

Finally, Potter caved and led a girl from the blur of faces into a waltz. The girl's expression was one of pure ecstasy as Harry Potter danced with her, placed his calloused hands on her waist.

Severus quickly grew bored of the ridiculous looks on these girl's faces and walked to the bar. He ordered two drinks, hoping the barman assumed he was actually going to give the other one to someone else and not down both in the dark.

He leant against a post, his back to the dance floor and stared out of a small window into the night. It was wonderfully clear for November and the stars that littered the skies soothed Severus' disturbed and rather drunk mind.

"That for me?" Potter said, taking place beside him.

Severus nodded, avoiding the embarrassment of admitting he was drinking himself into oblivion alone. For some reason getting into a state with another person seemed justifiable.

"I know it's not. Who did you come here with then?" asked Potter.

"No one."

"Was it for you? I won't blame you. I feel the same way," Potter laughed uneasily. "Look do you smoke?"

"No."

"You want to come with me anyway? I need a sane human being to talk to."

I nodded, unsure whether I felt obligated or the alcohol had just made lurking in the dark with Potter a good idea.

He searched in his pocket and pulled the white packet with a flourish. He placed one of the cigarettes in his mouth and fumbled in his pocket for a lighter.

I sighed and flicked the end of my wand, producing a small flame sufficient to light the end.

"You are a genius. I will never get used to this wand I don't think. I miss my other one, it liked me better," Potter laughed. "So, you enjoying being free? You going back to Hogwarts?"

"No, I am staying at home and writing a book."

"A book? Wow. On what?"

"Potions."

"I should have guessed huh? Still if you like something go for it."

"What are you going to do?"

"Good question. I dunno. I guess I wanna find someone, get together and stuff."

"Sex?" I said.

"Nah, done all that already. You know, used the name for a cheap lay. It was fun at the time but now I want something a little more permanent."

"Aren't you a bit young?"

"I'm much older than everyone else…"

"I guess."

"Not older than you though," he said winking.

I laughed in agreement.

"Look, I never do this but do you wanna come to mine? You can watch me smoke more, where it's warmer?"

I nodded before I had time to process the request, the alcohol making my decisions for me again.

His home was pleasant enough if a little bare. It was also a little too modern and white for my tastes but I could understand its appeal.

I settled myself in the living room while he cluttered about in the kitchen, asking silly questions about whether I drank wine. He entered the living room with a flourish, a bottle of wine in both his hands and one inbetween his legs, the opener clutched between his teeth. He hopped over to me, grinning but his grip on the bottle opener never faltering.

I took the bottle from between his thighs and opened it with a flick of my wand.

He sighed again.

"Sorry," he said awkwardly.

"It's fine, I understand how hard it is for you to use your brain."

I regretted the comment instantly, my stark rudeness a terrible gesture to a man who had let me into his home.

But he sat next to me on the sofa and smiled, taking the bottle from my hands and swigging the liquid thirstily as though it was air, the one thing keeping him alive.

I grabbed it back, "Share Mr Potter."

Potter smiled, his eyebrows rising in a way I was scared to decipher. I knocked the bottle back, hoping increasing my levels of alcohol would somehow stop my mind considering the possible consequences of following Potter back to his home.

We continued drinking for a while, our conversation mostly making fun of his many fans and the youngest Weasley, which of course surprised me.

"I hate her you know, she's so soft and feminine. She smells weird. Her hair is far too soft…She's ugly…I wish she was more like you," he mumbled, his eyes locked on mine.

I suddenly became nervous, the alcohol haze lifting as I considered the implications.

"What do you mean?" I said, taking the bottle from his hands and placing it behind my legs.

He didn't say anything but instead leant against me, his head on my shoulder.

"Potter?"

"Harry."

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"What did you mean?"

"I dunno how to say it. You'll laugh."

"I will not laugh."

"I want you to laugh."

"I'm confused. What are you even talking about?"

"I dunno Sev, I dunno," Potter sighed, reaching down and taking the bottle, his firm body pressed against my knees as he finished the last of the wine.

"You should maybe stop."

"I'm not as bad as you think I am…"

"Drunk people always say that…"

"You drunk too Sev."

"I know…"

"I love you."

"What?"

"Love you," said Potter, sitting up and pressing a soft kiss to the side of my head.

I pulled away and stood up.

"I'm leaving…"

"Okay," he said, his eyes suddenly absorbed with the dark green rug in the centre of the room.

I came to the conclusion that the best choice considering Potter's actions was to forget about them. People always seemed to say something ridiculous and Severus decided to ignore the popular idea that you were more likely to tell the truth when you were intoxicated.

Of course I had never had him at my home so it was rather a surprise to see him at Spinner's End.

I opened the door and was greeted with his mischievous emerald eyes, sparkling gleefully at me. His dimples were crevices on his face due to the wideness of his smile. His mop of hair was dripping down his forehead and back, he wore nothing but shorts and a t-shirt that were also both saturated with water.

"Potter…why are you here? Soaking wet and half naked?"

"Half naked? I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I'm practically full clothed."

"This is England, in the winter and it's raining. Not really suitable clothing."

"I know, I came from another country…"

"What?"

"Are you going to let me in? I will freeze to death out here."

I sighed and stepped back, Potter took my unspoken invitation eagerly and treaded into my hall. He froze, standing completely still, a puddle of water developing at his feet.

I brushed past him, into the kitchen and put the kettle on. I then went upstairs and collected some of my newer clothes, to give Potter something more comfortable to wear.

When I came back down he was still there, he smiled dumbly at me.

"Change into these in the bathroom, then give me your wet clothes. I will try and dry them a little."

He nodded, following my instructions.

I waited in the living room, the same anxiousness settling over me as last time Potter and I were alone.

He cheerfully breezed into the room, sitting next to me on the couch instead of the seat in which I had placed his mug in front of.

"Your tea is over there," I said, pointing to it.

"I don't really want any."

"It will warm you up a little."

"You can warm me up instead," he said, resting his head on my shoulder.

I sat very still, his breathing the only thing in the outside world I could comprehend. My brain was working frantically, weighing up all the possible reasons Potter came here to lie on me…

"I love you," he said finally. Moving his head from my shoulders.

"Where were you before you came here?" I said, ignoring him.

"Holiday, with Ron and Hermione and Ginny."

"And why did you come here?"

"I needed to see you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

"Have you killed someone?"

"Wow, Sev. Got a lotta faith huh?"

"Potter…"

"Harry, we are not having this argument again," he said.

"Have you killed someone Harry?"

"No. They acted as though I had."

"Who did?"

"Ron and that. They do not understand."

"Understand?" I said confused.

"That I hate them."

"Why do you hate them?"

"Because they only want me sometimes, only want me when I am happy and benefiting them. They do not want me when I'm angry, when I'm upset…"

"I see," I said.

"This must be boring for you," he said after a while, his face pulled into a false smile.

"It's fine…Do not worry. I'll listen."

He laughed, " You really aren't the way people see you as."

"People say what they want to, when you look like me people will latch onto any reason to hate you."

"I don't think that's true."

"I do," I said.

"You need to be more aware of the things that are attractive about you," he breathed in my ear, his fingertips stroking my thigh.

I breathed deeply, becoming dizzy.

"You are intelligent and kind in your own way and completely unselfish…But physically…"he trailed off.

I expected him to just stop, maybe desert the subject and begin to talk about something else, ignoring the blunt reality that I was incredibly undesirable.

"You have such strong legs, a deliciously tight ass and your face is so hard, so masculine," he panted, his hand journeying all over me while I sat frozen everything struggling to function.

I gulped, Potter's reaction was intimidating me and worrying me. I could not help but think Weasley and that insufferable Granger girl were going to jump out of the window, laughing crazily at the idea that Severus Snape could ever be seen as attractive.

"Hmm Sev…" he groaned.

He climbed on top of me, his arms imprisoning me as they placed themselves on the couch behind my head. He titled his head slightly, his face drifting closer to mine and his breath warming my face.

My eyes kept focus on his pink, plump lips which came closer and closer to mine, separating myself from him and this moment.

I was not Severus Snape but an unidentified soul trapped in his body, watching a confused and beautiful creature drew closer and closer to the solid form.

The second his lips touched mine I was back to being Severus Snape again, I could not escape the reality of the situation. Harry's lips were like a pillow, you could just sink into them. His moved against mine in complete delight that I could not comprehend. Just the thought that an eighteen-year-old young man seemed so eager to be with me seemed to prevent my usual rational thought train.

Something distracted my mind, a pressure poking into my stomach. At first I was going to remove Harry's hand from stabbing into me before I realised it was not his fingers and panicked.

I stood abruptly, Harry falling to the ground, landing with a smack on the old wooden floors.

Flying upstairs, I locked the door of my bedroom and sat heavily on my bed. Breathing deeply, I begged my erection to die and Potter to just leave.

I had spent my whole life too unattractive and busy for love…Too busy for sex so I had remained celibate but now at forty years old, I was disgusted by my pure status so I tended to ignore it.

I had no idea how to approach the idea of sex and having been confronted with it so suddenly had terrified me.

"Severus! What's wrong?" Harry shouted up the stairs. "Where are you?"

I did not respond but sat very still, praying I would not move and alert him to my whereabouts.

"We need to talk about this. Look I am sorry. I guess I just kinda thought you were into me too. It's not vanity…Just weird. Guess I'm not used to being turned down. That sounds really bad doesn't it. Severus?"

"It's fine Potter…" I said, guilt sinking into my soul as I heard the miserable tone in his voice.

"I'm sorry, can't we just sort this out? I wanna be your friend if we can't be lovers. I'm completely cool with that."

"Potter…"

"Gotcha!" he laughed, as I heard his voice through my door. "This locked?"

"Yes…"

"Let me in."

With a flick of my wand, the door unlocked and opened and Potter fell sprawling into my bedroom. His face landing on the ground, in front of my feet.

"Hi," he said awkwardly.

"Hello…"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, sitting up, cross-legged in front of me, his face a picture of shyness..

"It's okay…It's not your fault, it's mine."

"Don't take responsibility for my accidents. I thought you liked me, maybe should have asked first though."

"I do like you…"

"Like that?" he said, sure of the answer.

I said nothing, colour unusually gracing my face.

"Do you Severus?" he asked, eagerly, almost bouncing on his bottom. Clearly considering the option he may have been right about me in the first place.

"Yes…" I whispered.

"So what's wrong…"

"I haven't…"

"Haven't what?" He asked confused.

"Been with someone…"

"Me neither…" he said, his head titling in confusion.

"God…No Potter," I said, growing irritated. "I haven't ever BEEN with someone…"

"Oh right…Like not had sex?"

"Yes," I said, suddenly fascinated by the panels on my painted white door.

"Oh…"

"I never had time, I had other things to worry about Potter! There are more important things in this world than the thing between your legs."

"Calm down, I was just surprised. It's fine you know," he said, looping his arm around my waist and pressing my side against his.

"This is awkward."

"Not really," he said, kissing me on the top of my head and pulling me down to lie flat on the bed.

"I have no idea what to say."

Potter laughed and took my face in his hands, his eyes looking straight into mine, seriousness descending over his features.

"Severus Snape would you let me be your first?"

"That's a bit formal don't you think?" I said, trying to lighten the situation.

"Answer the question."

"Okay…"

"You could just say yes and sound happy about it," he said, smiling,

"I'm still Severus Snape Potter, aged virgin or not."

He laughed again but pulled my head to his, softly taking my lips. He ran his deft fingers through my hair, his kisses growing more heated as we fell back onto my bed.

He groaned into my mouth and I stopped thinking, letting the wonderful sensations of his kisses and the way he moved against me take over.

Sitting up, grinning, he raised his arms and motioned for me to remove my t-shirt from him. I yanked it off hastily and threw it to the corner of the room, throwing myself on his beautiful expansion of golden brown skin. I frantically latched my lips onto every available piece of skin, licking and sucking in a delirious fashion.

"Hmm..Sevvy…Let me have a shot hmm?" he said lifting my head from his skin and unbuttoning my shirt.

Both of us cursed my choice of clothing that morning as the buzz of lust made doing normal tasks frustrating and fumbling.

"Sorry," he said smiling as he ripped the fabric from me, throwing the strips of shirt at me, laughing.

"You're buying me a new one."

"No, I'm buying you some t-shirts. No more buttons," he said, pulling me on top of us and gluing our lips together again.

His hands roamed down my back, not stopping at the waistband of my slacks but simply slipping inside. His hand gripped my bum, tightly squeezing.

"You hot?"

"What?"

"It's just very warm in here, maybe we should take this trousers off, huh?" he said, grabbing my belt buckle.

"If you want," I said blushing,

He undressed me totally then shook his shorts off, unphased by his nakedness but intrigued by mine.

He began to nibble hungrily but softly at the inside of my thighs, causing me to shudder. I closed my eyes, relishing the sweet aching from my erection and the feel of Harry's lips.

He then, to my complete joy and surprise, enclosed my erection in his mouth. I let out a quick moan and sat up, leaning on my arms as I watched Harry's head bob slowly up and down me. I tangled my long fingers in his thick mop of black hair, panting as I revelled in the perfect warm heat.

I pulled his head away and growled, "Let's get to it."

His face broke into the most beautiful and excited smile, like he had just been told all his dreams were about to come true.

"Look, I'm using my wand," he laughed, pointing to himself with his wand and after a well trained flick of the wrist lay on his back beside me, his legs open.

I was more than a little confused.

"What did you just do?"

He took my middle finger on my right hand and slipped it inside himself," See."

I did.

After two minutes of stretching him with my fingers Harry grew obviously frustrated and viciously pulled my hand away.

"Please, Sev…" he groaned.

I melted, the lust and desperation in his voice causing the pit of my stomach to fall.

I aligned myself with his opening, keeping my eyes on his. Just savouring the moment.

"Severus!" he snapped.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly.

As I slid inside him I groaned loudly, my body slumping on his with the intense pleasure. His heat and the way he seemed to fit perfectly around me knocking all sense out of me.

"Good?" said Harry cheekily.

I decided to make him regret his arrogance by moving, except it wasn't really moving. More thrusting into him rapidly in a direct rhythm.

Harry spoke in a torrent of swearing, curses and moans, telling me I was wonderful

All too soon I could sense the end drifting closer but I knew the speed was impossible to continue for any length of time.

Harry seemed to sense the advance of my orgasm and began to tug on himself, his groans heightening and he clenched as he came.

The extra tightening drew my climax from me and I fell onto his sweat soaked skin.

As I lay, breathing harshly Harry ran his hands through my damp hair and rubbing my back.

"Worth the wait?"

"Maybe," I said, my eyes closing.

"Still love you," he mumbled.

"Hmm after that, I love you too." I said, chuckling.

Harry laughed back, pressing me to his chest and pressing his lips softly against my head.

Aw, isn't that sweet? Hehe.

Reviewing would be lovely and much appraciated.

Hope you all enjoyed it.