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Chapter 20

DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT

This empty feeling, blame it on me
Do I deserve this? I must deserve this
My soul is sinking; guilt watches me
What is my purpose? I must have purpose
So I stop and breath

You tell me I'm fine, no reason to cry
Tell me again and try not to lie
There is no difference; every where's the same
And there is no way for me to win this game

Silence informs me I'm solitary
Are you out there? Please be out there
Maybe I'll soon learn how to be perfect
I just don't care; why should I care
About your apathy?

This happens every time
Keep trying to start new
The only thing I learn is
That it's something I can't do

"I saw you." Hinata swirled her head around, and was shocked to see a sad yet loving aquamarine eyes staring back into her own. She gasped

"Gaara!" She exclaimed while leaping up and jumping on him, hugging him. "I missed you so much!" He hugged her lightly

"Your too light, Love." His eyes widened slightly in embarrassment from speaking his heart, but stopped from taking it back when he saw a light smile grace the girls tiny face.

"I'm sorry…but I ate some corn today, and I don't feel sick yet!" Gaara stared at her and then gave a ~ehem sexy half smile then grimaced

"How much?" Hinata had a guilty look on her face

"Two little pieces…"

"It's a start."

"Mhm…And..you saw me?"

"On Tv, that was…so brave…I was shocked.."

"I was scared…"

"I could understand that." Hinata smiled

There was a silence, it was comfortable, mostly cause all that was happening was Gaara holding the petite girl, his head resting on her shoulder. It was peaceful..until Sasuke busted in, Gaara saw the look on his face, a panicked look and left to find the Akatsuki members. Sasuke stayed, staring for a moment at Hinata

"Hinata-"

"What happened?"

"Ino…she...Hinata its not your fault."

"She's…dead?" Hinatas face lost the little color it had retained

"I'm sorry." Hinata looked towards the window, shaking her head, her mouth slightly open

"I knew it….We wasted too much time, I wish…"

"You wish you could have saved her? She was damned the moment she opened her mouth." Hinata glared at Sasuke for a moment then just looked sad, and tired

"But she gave up! I can only wonder…What was she fighting? What was happening inside her mind that made this happen?"

"Only the gods know."

"Its my fault." She said it shaking her head, in her mind this whole situation was her fault

"No."

"But it is, I…cant do this, making these people crack, I dont…."

"Its not your fault, it natures, religions, all the things that are considered normal but only pull people apart from each other."

"….Earth is the insane asylum for the universe, and I'm pretty sure I'm the infection that's causing the insanity."

"…"

It became kind of a ritual for Hinata to record a video of herself singing daily, singing a song that showed how she was feeling, she got more views than anything had ever gotten before. She sat down on her bed, her camera pointing at her, showing the entire bed so they could see every movement she made. It was always live, and her viewers were always ready. She took a breath.

She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of the world that she's left behind
It's all about the exposure the lens I told her
The angles were all wrong now
She's ripping wings off of butterflies
keep your feet on the ground
when your head's in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle; bury the castle
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out
But it was a trick
And the clock struck 12
Well make sure to build your house brick by boring brick
or the wolves gonna blow it down
keep your feet on the ground
when your head's in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah you built up a world of magic
If it's not real
You can't hold it in your hand
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Or even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah
Go get your shovel
We'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well go get your shovel
and we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
ba da ba ba da da ba da......
ba da ba ba da ba ba da.....

She was crying by the time it was over, she said nothing, and turned the camera off.

A few minutes later Gaara came in and sat down next to her. She was staring blankly at a leg on her desk.

"I have to keep going don't I?" Gaara looked her and said like she was asking him if he was with her in it, nodding while he said it

"Yea." Hinata looked at him almost pleadingly

"I don't want to though..." Gaara took her in his arms and laid down

"You have come much too far to give up now, and you have the whole world with you, there isn't too much left to do, Love." Hinata had a tiny bit of hope left in her, but it was slowly disappearing. Gaara turned her head towards himself, "Hinata…I love you."

"ARE YOU FREAKING CRAZY!?" Hinata meeped and hid behind Sasori, who looked at Kisame (in the same way you would look at a annoying child) sighed and replied

"I would want to get out once in a while after being inside 2 months…but you can't leave alone, Hinata. That's just…out of the question." He shrugged "Sorry."

Hinata looked angry

"I'm old enough to make my own decisions-and I know you're just trying to protect me but I will be fine, just let me do this! Sasori sighed and backed down

"Okay." Hinata smirked…she could be manipulative when she wanted. Sasuke stared at them

"You can't be fucking serious!?" They all shrugged, except Gaara, who felt like something would happen when she went out, not good, but it needed to happen

I read her story tonight,
And I think it's only right that I should tell you how I feel.
If you had told me today that love could change the way
This world remains, I'd say it'd stay the same
Cause all these games leave me with the memories to replay.
And I'm gonna scream this:

I'll wait 'til the doors are closed
And I'm proved wrong, that there is hope in love.

She's crying alone tonight.
The sound of silence has never been so haunting,
So she pulls the sheets up tight
And prays this breath will be her last,
And dreams that waking won't come to pass.

I'll wait 'til the doors are closed
And I'm proved wrong, that there is hope in love

So she'll wait for love to come and find her.
She'll wait for love to come and save her from herself.

Loaaaaaave

Loaaaaave.

Sai watched the recording of his lost friend, Haku didn't watch, but listened, staring out the window. Sai sadly played another

The room, it starts to spin
And I begin
To realize that you may
Not find the way

The walls begin to push me in
It's hard to see where this could end
The shadows start to fill this room
I'm hoping you will be here...

Soon, don't be late
I'm crushed beneath the wait
Crushed beneath the wait
Of this empty room

Room, frustrating
Hopes are fading
As I'm waiting here
For the call to come and let me know

As the walls now push me in
It's near impossible to see the end
The shadows now fill this room
I'm hoping you will be here...

Standing and staying
And praying and saying
You'll find me
You'll find me

"WILL YOU JUST STOP!? GOD I CANT FUCKING TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!" Haku screamed at Sai, who just shook his head and stared at the paused image of Hinata. She was smiling, but he looked closer, even this could see her pain reflected in her lavender eyes, god, he had been so blind.

"Why couldn't we help her?" He muttered

"Because we loved her too much to see her pain. And now look whats happened."

Hinata knew when she left in a few days she would never return to this place, at least not for many, many years. She decided she needed tom leave something for Gaara, because she might not return anywhere ever again. She decided to leave a song. And a message

She pressed record on her camera

"Gaara…I cant say much…but I know the day I leave things are gonna change, ad I just want you to know that I love you, like I have never loved anyone. I cant thank you enough for being next to me through this disaster. And, you are so amazing My Love, the girl you fall in love with next will be the most lucky girl in the worl-alive….Dont ever forget that and if you don't mind….dont ever forget me."

Can't hear what they're saying to me;
They're right in front of me, and you're so distracting.
I'm looking beyond their faces looking at me;
You're just arriving, and my heartbeats reacting.

Best feeling ever when you first spoke a word to me,
But these past few days (have) been like recovering from sugery.

How did this come and go so fast?
All I have is memories to keep.
I just had the best day of my life,
And I cried myself to sleep.

We walked around for just a little while;
You told me a few times that you liked what I wear.
Everything you said to me, it made me smile;
And just for the record, I love your long hair.

We ran out of time, now you're out of sight.
I'm so sorry that I held you up at the end of the night.
The clock was winding down the second that we met,
But now my hand begins to weaken, and this paper's getting wet

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Next time:

Gaara stared at he tape in his hand

"We need to find her, now! GO!"

Hinata looked up from the small grave

"Hello, Father.

________________________________________________________

Songs: This Game-One Star Story, Brick by boring Brick-Paramore, Love, Crushed Beneath the Wait, Call It a Story- All by One Star Story

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