and truth be told: i'm lying.

and truth be told, i miss you and truth be told, im lying.

Arriving to the Raw arena in the overly stormy and cold weather reminded the petite diva just why she 'loved' her job.

Why did she have to come to work on such days like these? Days where the temperature possibly could match the same as Alaska; the tip of her nose had already begun to become a bright, rosy red and her fingers were now completely numb as she buried them into the pockets of her jacket.

Sighing – Mickie snuggled deeper inside of her jacket whilst making her way through the entrance doors of the arena and – from the corner of her eye – peeked over toward a clock that hung on the wall. Instantly, Mickie noticed that the show would be beginning very soon. She probably would be best heading over toward the locker room to start changing.

And so, she had began making her way toward that direction – noticing a familiar two leaning against the wall whilst making her way – one chewed down hardly on an apple (quite angrily) that she must've gotten from catering whilst the other stared toward her with pity.

But wisely, the less angered one remained silent.

"Hey…what's up?" Quietly, Mickie greeted the two as she took a stand nearby the blonde haired one of the group. The two remained silent and hesitated before even choosing to finally retort back.

The blonde diva simply nodded her head in the direction toward where another two stood across from them – the two consisted of a superstar and diva, though.

"It's Rosa and Evan," Kelly commented whilst shaking her head at just the thought. The two had been drafted to Raw from Smackdown! and ECW not too long ago yet they already seemed to be enjoying each other's company.

Rubbing the back of her neck, Mickie chewed down on her lip at the awkward sight and then shrugged her shoulders – to her, it was quite meaningless to gawk over Rosa and Evan. But the remembrance of Candice being around, reminded her to why it had so much importance.

"I cannot even believe him," finally, the raven haired diva spat out, "I thought he actually liked me." Candice then lowered her head toward the ground – surprisingly (to both Mickie and Kelly, anyways) feeling now insecure about herself which was rare for the confident diva to ever feel.

How could Evan – still technically in a way, one of the newest stars – bring down a vet, former Women's Champion diva such as Candice?

"That guy is a huge jerk, Candi!" Kelly best reminded her. "Maybe him and Rosa deserve each other."

The brunette diva wasn't best as this entire girl talk therapy 'thing' – especially not lately. Well, quite frankly she never was. She never was even one of those girls who could say that they dished out good advice but could never take their own because Mickie never was one who dished out good advice at all.

But lately – with all the emotional (and quite frankly, unnecessary) roller coasters rides she had been on with a certain someone – it was harder for her even more now than ever so before.

Out of nowhere, Mickie felt a nudge into her left arm and glanced over to see it was from the blonde diva that slightly towered over her. With Kelly's overly obvious hints, Mickie knew it was her turn to step in.

Oh, how great this would go.

"Um," the brunette lightly pinched at her fingers – what a stupid nervous habit of hers – "…um, well maybe Evan is just trying to make new friends? …And, the same for Rosa. The two are pretty new and maybe Evan is just trying to get on Rosa's good side, you know?"

Or, on any side of her perhaps by the look of the two – face it, Mickie's advice was going nowhere. Candice wasn't a ditzy diva. She was too clever to not realize that you do not have to bat your overly mascara covered eyelashes and run your nails across a guy's forearm just to get him to befriend you.

There was another name for a relationship such as that and friendship clearly was not it.

"Whatever," Candice huffed, "Kelly, you're right." Of course she is – Kelly (out of the three) always seems to dish out the best advice, "Evan and Rosa do deserve each other." By the way Candice tilted her head toward the floor, it was obvious that her words couldn't be backed up with much confidence in believing that Evan could deserve anyone but her (despite, how much of a jerk he obviously was). Eventually, the raven haired diva shook it all off and glanced over at the other two divas. "Well, I'm going to head to the divas locker room. I'll catch up with you two another time. Later."

And with that, the raven haired diva began to quickly rush off…-

"Oh, wait Candice!" Quickly, Kelly called after. "I'll walk there with you. I have to get prepared for my match later tonight anyway." The former Women's Champ – Candice – nodded quickly reminding herself that Kelly indeed did have a match against Beth later tonight. "You coming, Micks?"

…The tiny brunette had alienated herself from the conversation – deep in thought of other things – but the sound of her name echoed in her head and quickly drew her back in.

Unfortunately, the puzzled expression on her face showed her alienation from the conversation but eventually she put herself together into a goofy grin. "Eh, no I'm going to head to catering. I didn't grab a bite while I was on the road and I'm a little hungry, so…"

"Okay, fine with us. See ya' later, Micks!"

The tiny diva watched silently whilst her friends eventually disappeared down an almost empty hall quickly causing a reluctant sigh to escape from her lips – of course, the brunette blamed herself most for being so satisfied anytime she was alone from her other two fellow divas; had she been more honest with the two earlier, she'd probably be getting along and enjoying her time with the other two like she use to.

Mickie began to head over toward the catering area completely clueless as to why she had walked over to an arena she truly had no business being at to begin with – clearly, that lie she had told had really sold over well because even she had believed it for a minute. She of course was not hungry, perhaps hungry for some alone time but certainly not food.

Sighing, Mickie just shrugged to herself – she was already at the catering area so she was best just staying for a few moments to kill time. She didn't have a divas match on the card – not so surprising for the brunette – so there wasn't much reason for her to rush off anywhere to any place.

…But to kill time, Mickie turned to face the trays that were sat out on the tables in the catering area – at least now she wouldn't look like a complete weirdo standing in catering alone and not even eating any of the food.

Then again who could eat this "food?" The sight of it caused Mickie's nose to scrunch in disgust as she immediately had to question to herself had she ever digested any of this before? The thought to if she did quickly sent shivers down her spine.

Mickie looked toward the far back of the table where this oddly looking vegetable had sat in a silver bowl. It was purple, she guessed an eggplant but it had been so drained of water and shriveled. Like a seven year old child at a grocery store, Mickie curiously leaned on the tip of her toes and peeked over at the vegetable – questioning to herself why did it look like that?

"Need help?"

The unexpected outburst had caused Mickie to almost practically collapse on the entire catering table. Geez, instantly she thought to herself before regaining her composure and turning to her left to see one of the crew members who wore a friendly grin. In retort, she shyly grinned back. "No, I'm okay," she assured him and so he went off on his way.

The brunette sighed, slightly humored but just as much annoyed at the caught-off-guard moment whilst turning back to face the catering table.

"I don't want you to think that other night meant anything."

He was practically close enough behind her to send her – and himself as well – collapsing on the catering table had he stepped even just a step forward.

Biting down on her bottom lip – the petit diva hadn't even gestured to peek over her shoulder or turn to face the figure that stood behind her – by the familiar feeling of his presence and the tingling sound of his voice; she knew too well of whom it was even for her own liking of growing to know the signs of when he was around.

"Oh. You mean the previous night when you practically humiliated me in the hotel room?" With disgust of the image replaying in her head, Mickie gestured an eye roll. "No of course I wouldn't…-"

"No." Angrily, he huffed before forcing the brunette to turn and face him – the reminder of the fact that he so easily towered over her caused the diva to soon lose her ease. "I mean when I told you I cared too much about you to…" Slowly, the brunette's dark eyes trailed up to meet the blue eyes of the legend killer realizing that his anger was gone and surprisingly a softness filled his eyes. He didn't wear vulnerability well, perhaps because he didn't wear it much and by the way he shook off his softness – you could see that he clearly wasn't comfortable with being so vulnerable. "…well, you remember the rest."

The brunette glanced down at her feet, completely careless to if Randy finished the rest or not; they knew what he said and surprisingly it had more meaning behind it than the night Mickie stormed out of the hotel room only feeling rejected.

Maybe perhaps he did have her best interest at heart?

And if so, the brunette was on a mission to have this said – even written down in writing. No more mind games of cat and mouse. Or no more mixed signals between the two; she was sick of going from only eye glances across the hall to full make out sessions in random hotel rooms only for the morning after to not be magical but a disaster…

"Why did you stop that night?" Quietly she whispered toward him – her whisper hadn't even been caution of everyone who was in the catering room (though, not much seemed to spot the two having a convo.) Instead, Mickie had just been attempting to come off soft and understanding and not so angry. She desperately needed an answer. "I mean, I was completely out of it. The situation had me lost and easily vulnerable. You could've had all of me…-"

"And you think that's what I wanted?" Instantly, his eyes drew up from his wrestling boots toward the tiny brunette.

Feeling as though her words seemed more so as an insult or quickly jumping to an instant conclusion of his character, the petite diva found herself innocently shrugging her shoulders – but remained honest behind how she felt of the situation. She would not take back her words.

"I don't know. You barely speak to me – unless it's an insult – so you clearly do not want to be friends. You don't treat me with any kind gestures that hint you want a relationship and you didn't tempt to sleep with me the other night – what is it that you do want?"

She realized how tired she was growing of the situation; despite her unsure of if she wanted anything from him – it would just be less exhausting to know what he wanted from her.

He didn't answer her. He only stood there, quietly. The brunette diva sighed in frustration once her patience ran out and huffed, "Fine…"

With that, she then went to turn toward her left which would lead him away from her though he quickly grabbed onto her wrist in attempt to stop her from proceeding.

"Must you always need to know the answer for everything?"

"…Only if the question isn't as important as the answer." His blue eyes glared a whole through her – wondering just why this petite diva needed to know so fiddled around with her fingers before snuggling tighter in her jacket – she attempted to read the expression on the legend killer's face but received nothing. Instantly, she sighed. Obviously, he wouldn't give her an answer…would he?

"Randy!" The two heard a call come from the doors of the catering room – it had been from Cody Rhodes who stood with Ted who had been on his cell. Cody simply gestured for Randy to come follow.

Glancing down at his wrestling boots, the self proclaimed legend killer made a quick attempt to scurry past her though the tiny diva lightly grabbed onto his wrist before he could fully make his exit. "Randy, please…something?" Desperately, she asked out – if he wanted to give her an answer now would be the time to do it. He could just tell her the truth and then have the right to scurry away if it offended her or whatever.

…She honestly didn't care if it would break her heart or send her in even more emotional roller coasters; she just needed to know an answer.

He shook away her grip quickly – and almost easily with the petite diva she was – and began on his way; first careless to of leaving her behind but eventually stopped before he became near Cody. "You know, maybe you should be asking yourself why is that question so important to you?"

-

He was completely right. Why was that question so important to her? It tore the brunette to admit it however it took two to play a mind game. Randy wouldn't easily have crept under her skin so quickly had she not allowed him, had she just ignored him like wiser people would have told her to do – sure, he played the cat but she willingly played the mouse through all of it.

So why would she not find herself desperately wanting an answer? To of come this far and for what – nothing? She easily led herself through this maze and somehow became quite too emotionally attached to his game. The moments she alienated herself from her friends' conversations, who was her mind filled with? Randy Orton.

So why was that question so important to her? Why did she desperately need to get so much out of this – whatever 'this' was other than the obvious; a sick mind game of cat and mouse. Why couldn't she of just ignored Randy?

So what if he had been an interesting character and endearing to save her from the once Raw superstar Dolph Ziggler, and share a passionate make out session – only to stop it for the care-ness of who she was – so what if he had done all of that. Why couldn't she just roll it off her shoulder and move on?

…Because all of her walking further and further into this led to her getting too far under that she couldn't even dig herself under this six feet deep hole.

With a long sigh, the brunette forcefully laid back on her hotel bed and ran her fingers down her flushed cheeks.

What is wrong with me? And, what was wrong with her. Somehow, she didn't feel much like the same tiny brunette she was just a few weeks ago. She felt…different.

A good different? A bad one? She didn't even know, honestly. She just hadn't felt like the same tiny brunette that she once was before.

She had to mentally ask herself this question – if not, she would continue running her fingers through her hair and appearing like a complete mess and she couldn't risk that as Candice and Kelly would both soon be arriving to the hotel from the Arena in just moments and she didn't need them worrying about her until they guilt her to finally admit what was up.

So here it was…had she grew to actually, like Randy Orton as someone potentially in her future?

No, no of course not – instantly, she shook away the thought. But she had too many fears and doubt to stay sane with just saying that, so she had to back it up with more – she had not liked Randy Orton because she would never like anyone who rejected her so carelessly.

…Well, perhaps despite the fact that he admitted to care enough for her to not take advantage of her when she was most vulnerable and to have to risk with his "old self" returning and leaving her alone the morning after…

Okay, so perhaps that was not the best reason.

She insisted that she had many others.

She had not liked Randy Orton because; the two were from two completely different worlds.

With a sigh of relief, the brunette nodded her head confidently until a thought struck her – had the same girl who dated John Cena (a man who listened to way too much rap music for her liking) yet still took a risk with him months ago?

Groaning, the diva ran her fingers through her hair. Come on, think of something else, she rushed herself. She had not liked Randy Orton because….well, Randy had never admitted that he liked her – nor did he answer any of her questions. He didn't say 'hi' to her when she was around; he only showed up at unexpecting times and even then he wasn't always pleasing to be around.

There you go Mickie, the brunette proudly applauded herself feeling less tense. is was. There was the proof, she hadn't liked Randy Orton – she just was…always gamed. Mind games or any type of games, she was gamed. After all she was a diva, right? Shouldn't she always be ready for a good game – especially being a former Women's Champion.

Plus, it hadn't a difference if it was Randy Orton or any other man with leading – and much too breathtaking for her resist – blue eyes, she would still be gamed. Randy had no hold over her any longer.

…But still, the brunette wanted to know what he was getting out of this. Was he in it for just the game of it all? Or, was she perhaps…something more – she did not like him. She had been telling herself way too many times to back out and claim other wise now, yet she still wanted to know if perhaps Randy was in it for more than just the game.

Doesn't a woman – who once again, did not like this man – have the right to know what any man thought of her?

That's all the brunette was in this game for now – after she knew how Randy felt, she would leave the game behind her and never look back.

With a sigh, the brunette promised herself just that.

She would get her life back on track from the emotional rollercoaster that stole away her control from the start.

;

ughh. i completely forgot how frustrating writing mickie and randy is. not like thattt, lols.

it's just that randy is just a invulnerable person, it's hard to pick a time for him to open up – but i enjoy writing these twoo.

also, im happy that i updated – i told myself that i would. and btw, yes Candice is magically not released. hehe. i already wrote her in

my earlier chapters – so why change it to a mickie, kelly and gail now?

anddd: do you guys believe that mickie really isn't even a little bit interested in randy orton and that everything she claims are only lies? or do you believe that she's just afraid to admit she might be falling for the last person she expected she would? i want to hear, and thanks for reviewing my last chapters loves.