Pairing: Zack/Reno, Reno centric
Disclaimer: I do not own Square Enix or any of these characters
Warnings: Language, M/M, Yaoi, (non-graphic) child abuse

Reno knew a lot of things. Some people thought he was slow, just because he was a slum rat, but he was one of the fastest learners in ShinRa. He had to be. When other kids had been learning how to read and write, he'd been learning how to survive.

At one day old he learnt what it was like to suffer from withdrawal. He had been born addicted to the cocktail of drugs which swirled around the slums, hanging like miasma in the air. He had spent his first few days crying in agony, feeling like he was being torn apart. His mother barely noticed, and would rather spend her money on getting another hit of the drug than helping him. It was a miracle that the screaming sewer rat made it through his first week. Yet he survived, and his young self began to realise that there was no one you could trust.

At three he learnt that it was alright to injure people to get what you wanted. His mother had begun to get better, to look after him. He'd adored her, and whenever she'd come back from the place where she went, he'd cling to her legs, nuzzling his vivid red hair against her waist. When she cried, he'd climb up onto her lap and cuddle her, small podgy hands stroking her hair. Then she'd met Layn, and for a while everything had become better. She didn't cry. He'd been happy, until his mother had loved Reno too much. Layn had pushed Reno off of her lap to pull her upstairs. Layn had hit him and kicked him, and he'd been bruised and so had his mother. She had started crying again. Layn had taken Reno's happiness, and kept it for his own.

At five he learnt that if you were hungry enough you'd do anything. It had continued, the hitting and the abuse, and his mother seemed to have forgotten him. Sometimes she'd yell at Layn, but they'd make it up, Layn was never so nice to him. Reno stopped adoring his mother. She didn't seem to notice when he didn't eat, didn't get food. He'd run off and hide, curling up in corners or finding secret places in alleyways. It was in the alleyway that it had happened. They'd been drunk and he'd been pretty and weak. It had been far too dark for him to see their face, they'd cast a shadow over of him. All he'd felt was pain. Back to the feeling of being torn apart. Tears had been running down his face and he had been pleading, but that man hadn't listened. Hadn't cared. He was nothing to him. After it was finished, he just wanted to curl up and cry, to scream and beg for him not to do it again, but the man didn't even seem to acknowledge him. He'd fumbled in his pocket once he'd redressed, thrown him a few Gil. Reno had stayed cowed until he had left, and then he'd gathered up the money and ran. He'd eaten properly for the first time in weeks. He'd returned home, snuck in and curled up in the corner where he always slept, and the next night, he had gone to the alleyway again. He started eating more often.

At eight he learnt that other children didn't live like this. He had been bored, and had got enough money to make it through the next few days. He'd been spending time with men from up on the plate. They were worse than most, but they had the money he needed. He would give them what they wanted, and in return would give him a few seconds worth of their money, drops in the ocean of their unfathomable wealth. He didn't have to learn names; calling them "Mister" seemed to bring out their more paternal side. Now that he didn't need any money, at least for a few days, he'd gone for a walk, through the slums. He'd run out, trying to find the way out of the shadow of the plate. At the edge he had found a school. There had been children his own age playing with each other, pretty and laughing together. He was jealous. None of the other kids around his age were interested in him. They'd all got their groups, their own survival mechanisms. He'd approached them, wanting to meet them, to say hello, join in the games. But they had seen him, and run away. His clothes were too dirty and he was too thin to be their friend.

At ten he learnt that running away didn't work the way it was meant to. He had finally grown tired of Layn's treatment. As a small child he had had to accept it, but now he was older, and he wouldn't accept it any longer. He ran away from the mother he had once loved and all the men who had hurt him. He hoped he would find a better life. He'd found a gang, and for the first time he belonged. It was where he got his tattoos. He'd run around, delivering the drugs which had spoilt his own life to others. He hadn't cared if the clients had had children, if he was helping make more children suffer the way he had. One of the other boys in the gang, Ashen, nearly seventeen, had found more men to hurt him, more people for him to spend a few hours with in exchange for some money. For his part of the deal, Ashen had taken most of the money. Reno had objected to that, and had tried to challenge him, but Ashen had hit him so hard he'd been knocked out. He learnt to keep him mouth shut. That was just how the world worked.

At twelve he learnt what it was like to have a dream. He'd grown used to being a whore, for Ashen just as much as the other men, only Ashen never paid. Reno would curl up beside him at night, because the occasional smile and slight comfort he sent his way was more than he'd received from anyone else. During the day time he'd occupy himself, delivering the drugs or just watching the other people. One day the leader of his gang was taken away, and Ashen took control. A few weeks later he saw the men who had taken the old leader. They looked so smart, in their dark blue suits, weapons held close in their hands. People only talked about them in whispers.
"The Turks." He wanted to be one, wanted to have that kind of power, that kind of strength.

At fifteen he learnt what it was like to achieve that dream. He had grown up a lot, left Ashen and the gang behind. He survived on his own, flirted and seduced to get what he couldn't win by fighting or stealing. One day he had seen the men in suits again, those Turks. He had watched as they cornered someone, and yet that person had escaped. He made a split-second decision, running forwards, grabbing him and stopping him. He had held him until the Turks arrived. They were even more incredible up close. They shot the man he had caught, and took Reno back to the base. He had signed up to fulfil his dream.

At sixteen he learnt that this knowledge counted for nothing. He'd achieved his dream, and now he lounged around his small room in the uniform of the group which had occupied his thoughts for the last four years. He'd made it, he'd become a Turk. It was a disappointment in a way. Everyone on the base seemed to treat him as a slum rat, as not deserving his post. As inferior to them just because of how he spoke. If ever there would be seduction or sex involved, he would be the one sent on the mission. He was never kissed though, unless he was undercover; whores didn't have to kiss. He lost the feeling of pride when he put on his uniform, and just threw it on. No one expected any better of him. After all, he wasn't like them.

At seventeen, he had given up hope. He didn't feel good about being a Turk. He felt like a sham, but he still projected confidence out into the world. He had to. If anyone saw even the slightest chink in his armour, they could use it to tear him apart.

Reno stood, EMR tapping against his leg, looking down at the new group of cadets. One of the officers was walking in front of them. Reno recognised this officer. Zack Fair. The idiot with hair almost as strange as his. Zack was always smiling, but then he would. He was happy. He saw him approach one of the cadets, a skinny and frightened looking young man, trembling a little in his too big suit. Zack opened his mouth to speak.
"So you want to be in Soldier? Keep it up." Reno watched as the cadet seemed more confident, and his heart ached. He wanted someone to say that to him, to tell him he could make it, to make him feel so much more comfortable. He stared at the SOLDIER officer. Maybe he wasn't as much as an idiot as he looked. He would talk to him, just in case he would get that same encouragement. It wouldn't happen, but he had to try.

He waited until the cadets had all let, and then sauntered over, hips swaying slightly. He wanted to know this man better, and he didn't care how much it cost, what he had to do. He smiled up at him, breath choking him a little. He tried to work out what to say. Zack just beamed at him.
"Hey there Turk!" He darted forwards, to glance at the other's nametag. "Reno?" The young Turk nodded, staring up at him. Zack grinned, taking him aside to talk. "So, what did you want? Don't be shy."
Reno gulped slightly.
"I just, ya know, thought you handled those cadets well." Zack shrugged, rubbing at the back of his hair. Reno wasn't sure why he was so interested in this man. He was an imbecile, but so happy and so friendly. He guessed that that was part of it.

They continued talking, and Reno began to come out of his shell. He kept some things private, the content of his latest missions for one, his childhood for another, but Zack had no such barriers. He talked about himself constantly, and asked questions, and laughed about the cadets. He didn't stop, but it made Reno feel more relaxed, and he wanted to see more of him. Eventually Reno's pager went off, he had to work. He made his apologies and turned away, forgetting that this was the first time he had felt happy since he had realised Ashen was treating him badly. Zack reached out, putting a hand on Reno's shoulder.
"Want to go for a drink later?" Reno nodded breathlessly, running off for a meeting.

His glass clinked against Zack's. It had been two months since they had first met, and he was glad to talk to him. Zack was so friendly, and he wanted so much to get closer to him. He wanted to wrap his arms around him, and to kiss him. Zack's arms were round him before he realised what was happening, or maybe it was his arms that were around Zack, and Zack's tongue was in his mouth. He sucked on it eagerly, moaning softly. He moved away almost instantly. He was one of ShinRa's whores, he had no business kissing a SOLDIER. As they broke apart Zack had suggested that they went back to his room.

The sunlight hit the two of them, curled up in the blankets. Zack was snoring softly, and the sunlight made him pull Reno closer. Reno's eyes opened. He smiled happily, feeling glad just to be held. This was what he always dreamed of. He didn't speak, didn't move. He wanted to stay in his dream world, where everything was alright. In a world where Zack wouldn't leave him. But if Zack didn't leave, maybe he would end up as just another Layn, just another man to hit Reno and abuse him. He didn't like that idea, but something told him Zack wasn't like that. He cuddled back closer, feeling his warm breath on his shoulder.

Zack's eyes opened.
"Reno?" He murmured, blurry early morning vision making out the trail of red down the other's spine. He reached up one finger, stroking it along the hair. He leant forwards, pressing one kiss to the pale skin. Reno gasped, looking up over his shoulder at the other man. Zack's arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. "You're still here."

Reno's eyes widened slightly in fear. What if he was meant to have left? Zack probably wouldn't want him to still be here. He was just a whore after all. He should at least have made himself look good for the other man. Zack just nuzzled his shoulder, seeking out that delicate spot at the base of Reno's neck which he had found the night before. As the other moaned and gasped slightly, Zack knew he had found it. One of his hands stroked Reno's side and over his hip, and he pressed up against Reno's back. Reno's moans got louder as Zack's hand stroked along his length, eyes widening slightly. Normally no one cared about how he felt, if he enjoyed it. He liked this. Zack kissed Reno's neck again before turning him over, frowning as Reno ducked out of the attempted kiss. That was the one thing that Reno wouldn't be able to do, he couldn't dirty Zack's lips by kissing him. Zack sighed.
"Not in the mood?" Reno laughed, pressing up against Zack's thigh as an answer. Zack chuckled slightly, giving a reassuring smile as Reno wrapped his legs tightly around Zack's waist. Zack reached down, wrapping one hand around their sensitive erections, pumping the two of them in time.

Reno gasped, wrapping his arms around him, kissing him deeply before running his fingers over Zack's chest, smiling slightly at the contrast between pale and tanned skin as he ground against Zack. By now, the fog that had filled his mind earlier had faded, and he could think clearly. He was able to enjoy this more now, gasping and crying out at every single touch. Zack kissed him deeply, hand speeding up its movements, thumb flicking over the tip of both of their erections. He was moaning as well, pulling Reno closer so that they gained more contact. Reno rocked against him, moving his head away from the kiss to pay attention to Zack's ear. He knew that was sensitive, and that would enable him to break that forbidden kiss. He rocked faster, vividly aware of the man beside him. He was used to sex, but not like this. Not sex which he wanted to forget, but breathtaking passion of which he did not want to miss the smallest moment. Zack's scent filled his mind, as intoxicating as his mother's drugs. His body tensed before he surrendered into his release, body trembling as he felt Zack become tense, shouting out in climax.
"RENO!" Reno buried his head on the other's chest, panting in pleasure. That felt so much better than he would have thought possible. He kissed the other's chest, tasting salt on the other's skin.

He waited for Zack to recover, his own mind spinning, breathing in the mixture of their scents. He gasped as Zack reached over and wiped him clean. He looked up at him.
"That was real nice yo, real different." He realised then that he'd said too much, and he tried to look away from Zack's raised eyebrow. "Look, I'm a slum rat, you should know what that fucking means and I'm one of ShinRa's whores. That's all. I don't even deserve the name Turk." He didn't know why he was saying this. It would scare Zack off, and he'd be alone again.

Zack gasped slightly, thinking of the night before, of how even in the heat of passion, Reno had seemed reluctant to kiss him. He wondered if that was all he had been to Reno, just another customer, another client he could use to try and gain what he wanted.
"That's why you wouldn't kiss me?" Reno nodded, staring fixedly at the other's nose.

"Shit yeah Zack! You're perfect, and I really like ya, but you're gonna hate me, and I just… you wouldn't want to kiss me, so I thought I'd… just one night, just one time, I could have what I wanted. I'm sorry."

Zack reached out, took Reno's face in his hand and lifted it up so Reno was looking straight at him. Reno tensed, afraid he would be hit, and feeling vulnerable in his arms. The dark-haired man brought his head down, pressing his lips against Reno's and kissing him deeply. Reno's arms wrapped around his chest as he returned the kiss, learning what he was really worth.