A/N Okay, guys, I'm back. And it took me forever didn't it. I could not think of a pairing to save my life. Actually that's not true, I could think of plenty pairings, but they eithre weren't crack enough for me or I couldn't come up with a good story for them. Finally, I just sat down at the computer and typed up this baby. No planning involved, so exact plotline is unclear.

There is implied sex in here and there is swearing, but I there are no lemons, and it's really not trashy or anything, trust me, don't worry.

This is in a way AU because I don't really follow the manga or the anime at all. Mostly because if I did everyone would be like dead now. So I stop following it around when Sasuke leaves. But it's still the same characters and world and stuff, it just doesn't follow the story line.

I'm not entirely sure of the age of Zetsu so here's kind of what I'm saying.
Rookie Nine (including Ino)--- 18
Zetsu --- 32 (That seems really old... oh well.)
The rest of the ages you can just go ahead and guesstimate.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the world or the characters, because if I did I'd already be married to Umino Iruka.

Alrighty then, Ino x Zetsu fic here we go!

The howls of nin dogs echoed throughout the air, scaring small children from their beds and sending them running to their parent's rooms. Where ever the pack of Inuzukas went they left behind them a trail of awake and frightened villagers that had no idea what was going on, and only a vague desire to know.

The barks of canines in hot pursuit and the shouts of their boisterous human partners could be heard everywhere, and they rang in the ears of their victim. Sliding from tree to tree with his cloak torn, and even bloodied he left a clear path for his hunters to track. They were closing in, quickly, and with ferocious intent.

Such a peaceful night had never held such dire circumstances for the seasoned Akatsuki.

He was breathing hard by the time he melted into a thick and sturdy old oak, hoping that perhaps his smell wouldn't linger on such a large creature, and the Inuzuka clan would rush right by him, giving him just enough time to try to escape. The tree was large and roomy, and if it hadn't been for the sappy blood leaking from his left leg he wouldn't have been so worried about the large white dog bounding into the clearing that his hiding place helped ring.

The dog was massive, bigger even than most of the others chasing him. Its master, a boy just barely turning into a man rode on its back, a feral viciousness shining in his eyes, fueled by the adrenaline of a hunt. It stopped there, smelling that something was out of place. He held his breath, despite the fact that trees didn't breath. He had had close calls before, but not many. His job didn't usually require him to get close, and he could usually just teleport away from any sticky situations, but the cut on his leg was not his only injury, and even as he stood still in the oak he could feel the edges of his vision getting particularly blurry, and a small part of his brain whispered to him how easy it would be to just let it all go and slip into darkness. But it was a very small part, and his strong sense of self preservation kept it from getting bigger.

The dog was sniffing the ground now, wondering where the scent he had been tracking had gone. It shuffling nearer, and now the boy man slipped off from his perch and withdrew a weapon. The sounds of the rest of the pack were getting closer at an alarming rate, and he was forced to realize that the old oak would simply not suffice. And there were precious other places he could go. They had chased him so long and so tactically that he found his back almost pressed against the outside of Konoha's wall. He could even sense the chakra signatures of the gate's guards running along the wall to where the dogs were gathering.

Just then, another, darker colored dog crashed through the underbrush, barely a meter and half from where he was. It turned it's darkly intelligent eyes towards the tree, and he was sure that it could see him.

Suddenly he emerged out the tree, appearing before them as though from thin air in all his frightening glory. His black and red coat billowing out around as the wind whipped at it and he glared at them with amber eyes. He says the muscles in the animals' haunches tense as they prepared to leap, but before they could pounce, he sank into the floor. The ground though was not a safe place; in fact, it was dangerously open making him feel strangely agoraphobic. All it took was a simple ninjutsu or even a genjutsu and they could take him easily. But he wasn't looking for a hiding place; he had found an escape route. He traveled through the soil, just a matter of meters, despite the strain on his body. The wall was above him now, and he could feel, if not see, his vision growing dark. He pushed, just a bit farther, and with a heave, he pulled himself out of the ground. He had managed to put the wall in between him and the Inuzukas, but it was only a temporary fix.

Konoha was crawling with leaf shinobi, on the lookout just for him, and he was inside of it. It wouldn't be long before those wretched dogs got here, too. Desperate for somewhere, anywhere to rest and hide he turned and stumbled down the deserted street. He could see cracks of soft yellow light between the tightly drawn curtains of all the houses he passed, but no civilian dared to venture outside, or even to peak. Not when there was something out there that had the ninjas thrown into such frenzy.

His sharp ears picked up the sound of yelling and the patter of feet against the roof overhead, and he dodged into an alley, flattened himself against the wall just in time for some callow chunins to run directly above him; no doubt too excited by the thought of a real emergency to actually be of much help.

Certain they were gone, he slipped out of his crevice, and a faint scent wafted into his nose. Turning sharply, he saw across the street, his safe haven. Making sure the coast was completely clear, he flashed across the road, and pressed into the door way of a small shop, whose name was obscured in the darkness. He froze, watching for a sign that someone had seen him. No one had. A tiny tendril of vine slipped through a crack in the door, and the sound of the latch rewarded him with a faint click. Pushing open the door just barely enough, he went inside.

The store was dark and empty, and standing just inside of it, a miniscule thought flashed through his brain. It was like he had stepped into the heaven he was never supposed to make it to. But even before that thought could be completed the sound of those damn dogs tore down the street, jarring his insides. He glanced around the small flower shop hurriedly, unsure as to which plant would best suit his needs. But there was no time for that. He quickly locked the door once more, making it impossible to know that there had been a break in.

He turned to a rather large bonsai tree sitting on the counter, and without affording himself a second though, and merged into it. He huddled there, awake, for minutes, possible more, waiting to see just how secure his hiding place was. His shallow breathing stopped when the pack of drooling snarling dogs and bitches raced through the street just outside of the flower shop he resided in, but resumed once they had passed.

That was when his injuries began to make themselves heard. Cracked and crushed ribs moaned and the gash to his leg shrieked, though eventually it tired itself. His mind had the final say when it finally just shut down. Without fighting it, Zetsu let himself fall into unconsciousness.

For now, he was safe.

At least she knew where she was, she mused wryly to herself, unlike so many other times. Her pounding and dehydrated brain was still trying to make sense of exactly all the senses pouring into it at a speed that its sluggishness couldn't handle, but at least she knew where she was.

She could hear the unsteady grunting sound of the man sleeping beside her, snoring, but by no means in an endearing way. She could feel the sheets tangled in her legs, barely covering her, and certainly not doing it decently. She could see the dark back of her eye lids and had little desire to see anything else, knowing that light would only exacerbate her hangover. She could smell sweat and alcohol, two smells she had come to associate with sex, and not in a pleasant manner. And she could taste the vile taste of self loathing in her mouth; it was really the only thing that forced her out of the lumpy bed.

She sat up, hugging the dirty sheets to her chest and glanced over to be sure that the man next to her really was asleep, and sure enough, he was; snoring discordantly as he sprawled out across his side of the bed, lying on his stomach and his butt hanging out for all to see. Another bout of disgust bubbled in her throat, but she shoved it back down; there would be time for puking later. For now, she had to focus on how to get out of here with what shreds of dignity she still possessed.

She slipped out the bed, feeling it dip and lift as her weight shifted. Paranoid, she looked back again and wasn't surprised to see that he hadn't moved. She then proceeded to move around with the silence and stealth of the kunoichi she really was and tried to locate all her clothes. Everything always seemed to be thrown chaotically around, even though she never did it on purpose. She managed to find her pants and her shirt, but had had no luck with her underwear, and was very unhappy to see that her bra latch had been broken. It had been her favorite bra too.

She slipped on what parts of her outfit she had managed to gather up and crept down the stairs. She wasn't at all too thrilled about leaving her panties up there somewhere, and there was a very strong nagging suspicion that they would show up when she less expected or wanted them, too. But there wasn't much she could do. So, praying she never set foot within the house again, she exited, and hurried down the street.

Once she felt safely away, she breathed in the crisp, slightly nippy, morning air and heaved a sigh. She knew it had to stop, she knew it well, and she thought that last night, might just have been the very last straw. She had self esteem issues, and she was well aware of it. It was because of that that she had a horrible habit of simply falling into bed with any guy that so much as said she was gorgeous and he liked her.

She groaned and rubbed at her blue eyes with heels of her palm. She felt like dirt. Stupid, slutty, scummy, dirt. She dug around in her pocket and after a moment of panic, found that her keys were still there and took them out. Konoha wasn't really a large village, and it wasn't hard to walk from one place to another, which could be both a blessing and a curse.

She made it to the comforting front of the Yamanaka flower store and used her key to let herself inside. She didn't flip over the "closed" sign to show "open" even though it was high time it was. She simply wasn't presentable. She slipped into the bathroom in the back and splashed her face with water. There was certainly no time for a full blown shower, but she needed to freshen up at least.

She gargled some water and combed through her hair with her fingers. It wasn't as effective as she would have liked, but it was something, and right now, she couldn't really ask for more. She opened the medicine cabinet and took out a few aspirin. The recommended dose for an adult female was two pills with a sip of water. She took five and dry swallowed them. Good to do, good to overdo right?

Taking a deep breath, she flashed herself a grin and a wink in the mirror and nodded her head, satisfied. She felt better; still slutty, and whore-like, and dirty, but definitely better. She strode out into the main part of her family's shop and flipped the sign, displaying to the world that the Yamanaka flower shop was ready for business.

Business was in fact, actually rather slow, but that didn't really surprise her. It had been for some time now. People just didn't flowers for anything recently. No one was too worried though, the rate of flower consummation was always fluctuating. She puttered about for a couple hours or so, helping the few customers that rang the small bell as they came in and tending to all the flowers, making sure they got just what they needed to flourish. She may not be very good at organizing her life or setting her priorities, but she sure could take care of flowers. And she paid special attention to the new plant they had just received.

What with business going down and all, the Yamanakas had thought it prudent to get a few other interesting items in stock. One of which was bonsai trees. They had only gotten one so far, and it wasn't for sale. They had to make sure they knew how to take care of it first, lest they buy a bunch and just kill them straight off the bat. This one was still alive and well, but it had gotten a bit bigger than it was supposed to, because no one knew exactly how to trim it, but it was still thriving.

"Hey Ino," a lazy voice greeted as the bell tingled to let her know that a new customer had arrived. Ino turned and threw her former teammate a grin, heaving another box of gardening supply shipments onto the counter to sort.

"Hey Shikamaru," she said as she pulled out all sorts of stuff from the large crate. "You got here just in time. Help me with the sorting." Shikamaru, used to her telling him what to do, rather than asking it of him, ambled over and began to divvying out all the little hand held shovels. "So what's the word over in ANBU?"

"Ino, you know I can't discuss that sort of thing," he replied, though only half heartedly. Shikamaru had become an ANBU strategist before any of the other rookie nine had even managed to become a jounin, and before Ino had even hit chunin. But they were still close friends, and Ino had become a sort of confident for all of Shikamaru's troubles as far as his job went; stuff he couldn't go to Temari with because she was from another village. Of course, Shikamaru still didn't like discussing it like it was gossip.

"Oh come on, Shika, even I heard the Inuzukas going crazy last night," she said in a hushed voice leaning down beside the bonsai tree. "Who were they chasing? You know the whole village has got to be wondering."

"Well they can't know," Shikamaru said seriously. He was tired, too, having stayed up all night stressing over it all. Ino nodded in agreement, she wouldn't tell anybody. She wasn't the blabber mouth everyone thought her to be. Shikamaru remained focused on his shovels, which he was dividing by color now. He let out a sigh and looked up at her again. "It was an Akatsuki."

Ino's eyes widened considerably. An Akatsuki… She didn't know too much about them, but they always seemed like a source of anxiety to Shikamaru. She knew they were a dangerous terrorist group that hunted people like Naruto and were intent on taking over the world. Really, that was all she needed to know to figure they were bad news.

"What did it want," she asked intensely, the gardening supplies now forgotten on the counter. She fondled a branch of the small tree beside her absentmindedly. Shikamaru shrugged, looked up from his work as well. Ino could see how tired he was by his bleary eyes.

"We don't know. We didn't catch it. It's so troublesome."

"You didn't catch it," Ino repeated, freezing. Shikamaru shook his head slowly. Ino didn't know what to make of that. She was worried, that was certain, but she didn't know how worried she should be. The Akatsuki had always seemed like a distant danger. She wasn't sure whether she should be freaking out, or just let it sit in her gut. "So, what do we do?"

"We don't do anything," Shikamaru replied, finishing up and slouching lazily onto a stool. "You go about your business and you keep her eyes peeled for anything suspicious. Kiba saw it, and managed to tell us what he thought it looked like, but it's so strange that it makes me think it was a disguise or something."

"What did Kiba say it looked like," Ino asked as she spritzed cool water from a spray bottle onto the bonsai.

"It's completely bizarre and troublesome," he replied, waving a hand dismissively. "He said it was split down the middle, one side white, and one side black. And that its entire head was encased in some sort of plant that looked, and I quote, like this." Shikamaru raised his hands and brought them together like jaws. "He also says it could turn into trees and melt into the ground…"

"You don't believe him, huh," Ino said knowingly, moving on to take care of other delicate flowers. Shikamaru swiveled in his chair to follow her.

"Do you?"

"No, not really," she admitted. Shikamaru nodded as though to say, that's what I thought. She worked in silence for a little while longer, letting Shikamaru look back on last night's events and try a bit more to come to some genius conclusion like he always did.

"I think it had something to do with Mitarashi Anko and Uchiha Sasuke, they're the ones that reported strange things and that they were being followed," he mused, almost to himself. Ino cocked her head at him and frowned. She went to the sink and filled up the water bottle again.

"That must mean it has something to do with Orochimaru or the Sound then," she said, pleased with herself for coming up with something so plausible. Shikamaru only grunted and nodded in agreement. He thought for a bit longer before letting out a frustrated sigh and shaking his head.

"I'll think about this some other time, it's too troublesome," he muttered bitterly. Then he looked up to regard Ino. "And where were you that you heard the Inuzuka clan?"

"Well, the whole village heard it, I'm sure," she replied, tossing her hair and dodging the question. Shikamaru gave her a look that told her not to bother. He wanted to the truth, and she gave it to him by way of a sheepish look. Of course he could have figured it out. He shook his head in disappointment, making Ino bite her lip.

"Ino, you can do better and you know it," he said, an edge of frustration cutting through his lazy drawl. "Why do you do this, it doesn't make you happy." Ino shook her head, toeing at the ground with her shoe.

"I know, I know," she said with a sigh. Shikamaru stared at her awhile longer; his droopy eyed stare intense, and making her squirm. She glanced back up at him, waiting for him to say something. The longer she waited for him to speak though, the more she dreaded what he was going to say.

"I want you to make me a promise, Ino," he said suddenly. The words rung threateningly in her ears, making her want to say no. But she knew that any promise Shikamaru made her make would only be for her benefit, so cautiously, she nodded.

"Okay, I will."

"I want you to promise that you won't sleep with another man, until you are sure that he is the one," he said, watching her closely for her reaction. She jerked her head up at to look at him in surprise. Her instant reaction was to say hell no, that was ridiculous, but she held her tongue.

It was a lot for him to ask, and presumptuous of him as well. She was offended at first, but she thought about it. The idea was almost tempting. He really wanted her to do this, too, and the more she thought about it, the more, she agreed.

It wouldn't be easy for her, but it would be the best. She chewed on her lip and watched the ground, then, slowly, she nodded. Her nodding got slightly faster, until she was suddenly looking up at him, nodding vigorously. "Okay, I promise. I'll do it." She was surprised to hear herself say it, but pleased at the same time.

A steady smile spread of Shikamaru's face. "Thanks Ino, for not being troublesome for once." Ino giggled at his old joke and nodded. Shikamaru nodded back, his smile slowly going away to be replaced by a grim line. With a tired groan, he got up from his stool and stretched lazily. "I have to get going."

"Yeah, probably. Go get some rest, Shika, you look exhausted," she said putting a hand on his shoulder and steering him towards the door. He was a genius, but even he couldn't think his best so drained. "Don't you dare go straight back to head quarters." Shikamaru just gave her a smile, making her think that he was indeed heading straight back to head quarters.

"Bye, Ino," he called over his shoulder, as he walked away raising a hand in farewell and slouching down the street. Ino waved good bye and went back into her flower, shop, slumping against her counter. An Akatsuki, on the loose. That actually worried her more than the promise did. What could it possibly want with Anko and Sasuke and Orochimaru? She let out a breath of air and fondled a miniature leaf on what was become her favorite plant. It didn't really concern her though she supposed. Suddenly, she frowned as she looked closer at the plant she handled.

Her bonsai tree looked somewhat… different…

A/N Soooo, what'd you think. I really need to know. I think I'll continue this or a couple of chapters and if I get positive feed back then I'll continue it. If no ones seems that interested then I'll be very disappointed and I'll delete it and I'll start from scratch once more.

It's been awhile since I've written much of anything, so please please please please review, they're vital to my survival, and I greatly appreciate them. I hope you enjoyed that chapter, and I hope to see you next time. :D

~Yuki