IRONY

Disclaimer: I don't own POT…

Ne, ne, minna-san! This would be my first time to let my imagination go wild… please be gentle with me… Actually you guys are my inspiration for me to write fics that may seem worthless and lame… please be careful with my heart…

Echizen Ryoma was never sweet nor evil… you can say that he's cocky arrogant, full of pride, full of witty remarks, unbeatable, and (of course) a girl magnet. It's not that he wanted to be one but with all his good looks and charms, there's nothing he can do to avoid crowds – in matches and almost anywhere, as long as he is present there. As his popularity rate increased from 100 to 250, schemes were formed. This could be the end… or is it?

Being in a hurry was a pain for Ryoma. He likes waking up to the meowing of Karupin, have a light breakfast of cereals and look at his watch that would read 10:00 AM, just like any other day. For this day, he had missions to accomplish: buy cat food and a new toy for Karupin, head to the courts, hide from murderous girls, and go back to his own home. He expected that by the time he went home, his mailbox would be overflowing with a mountain of letters; his phone would be overflowing with messages that were as worthless as the callers.

Then the phone rang. Wait. That wasn't part of the schedule. It is supposed to ring after two more hours.

Nevertheless, Ryoma thought. He lazily got up from his seat and picked the phone from its cradle.

"Echizen speaking," Ryoma said in English, the language flowing smoothly from his tongue.

"Oi, seishounen," the voice said, followed by a long pause. During those seconds, Ryoma was shocked. His father would never call in a million years, "higatsukete."

"Ne, Oyaji. What's up with you?" he was finally able to break from his stupor.

"Nothing. Just do me a favor and stay away from trouble."

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Ryoma set the phone back and ignored the weirdness going on. His routine was broken because of a call. He put it aside to a corner of his mind and continued with what he was doing. Time to go to the mall.

Echizen Ryoma kept his cool even if he knew that a humongous bunch of crazy fan girls was following him, shouting "Ryoma-sama," "Ryoma-sama come home with me," "Oh my god! Its Ryoma Echizen," "My future husband, look over here," and the like. And to his surprise (which made him barf), an old woman came up to him and said "You look just like my husband!" Who'd have known that a trip to the mall would be full of harassment?!!? If only he brought with him his disguise…

A few more to go, he thought, determination overwhelming his whole mind. Then the shock of his life happened: a girl about 16 clasped her hands around Ryoma's face, inching hers closer (NOTE: Ryoma has never been kissed. It would be his first time to see a girl's face up-close. If it weren't for his amazing reflexes, he would have been found on the sidewalk, bubbles emitting from his mouth as if he was poisoned. If it did happen, the world would grieve for the loss of a tennis star. Cause of death: inexperienced kiss. He pivoted on his left foot, implied the one-footed split step and ran for his life.

I wasted half an hour of my life, letting myself get clobbered by shameless, self-centered, weird, crazy, and old women! He thought, huffing and puffing with anger and mental and physical stress. Unaware of where he was going, he suddenly found himself by the entrance of the mall, looking quite tussled with his once-crisp polo shirt that turned into a crumpled piece of cloth the he used to cover his body. The girls who were also at the entrance thought that he looked so hot with his careless way of fashion with bits of flesh exposed seductively.

Ryoma, being traumatized by girls, wondered why there were so many blocking his way to the mall. He scanned the area and saw THE sign: SALE! 50% OFF ON ALL ITEMS!

Oh no. One by one he saw the girls' eyes turn into hearts. He rubbed his eyes. The hearts were still there. It wasn't his imagination. He stared at them, obviously freaking-out, waiting for the bomb to explode.

"Ryoma Echizen is here!" THAT broke the silence. Then the game of cat and mouse began… again.