I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story

It's time to open up, and let your love right through me

I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story

It's time to open up, and let your love right through me

-Secondhand Serenade-

Chapter 1 - Memories

Morning sickness, ughhhh. Another six months of this. It was going to be hell. I tried to pick myself up off the floor, to no avail. I needed help, I knew it, but I didn't want to accept it. No one knew, well, except Jake, but that was because he figured it out.

I hadn't even told Charlie yet, and I'd known for almost a month.

I hadn't told him. I knew that he'd help me, be there for me, but I was sure that he had a life of his own now, and I knew that I didn't want to get hurt again. If he came, and then he left again, I don't think I'd be able to pick up the pieces.

I picked myself up off the floor and turned the shower on thinking that maybe the hot water would help, but before the water could even warm up, that dreaded feeling came back and I found myself sitting next to the toilet yet again.

Then reality hit.

I couldn't do this by myself, I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't bother Jake all the time, he's had a life of his own. There was only on person who I knew would help me, with no objections. She was my only hope.

I got up, shut the water off, and went to get my phone. Of course,

just before I hit the call button I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach and the damn nausea kicked in again.

Two hour's later I finally managed to make the call.

"Hello?"

"Alice"

"Bella. Oh my god, you sound horrible."

"Alice, I need you. Can you please come over?"

"Bella is everything okay"

"Please, just come over."

"Okay. I'll be right there."

"Thanks'."

The wait for Alice to come was agonizing. I was finally able to convince myself, and in turn, my stomach, that I could hold down a cheese sandwich. I was in the middle of making it when the doorbell rang.

Five minutes later, I found myself still looking for my keys. The whole thing was just frying my brain.

DING DONG. Damn that doorbell.

"I'm coming Alice, I just need to find my keys!" When I turned around, there they were, in the one place that they should be. Why hadn't I looked there? I was going mad! I let Alice in and we went to the kitchen so I could eat. I took me a second to realise that Alice had Jasper with her, as could only be expected. Those two were inseparable, even after marriage.

I'd always dreamed of marriage with him, but here I am, pregnant with his child, and I don't even know where in the world he is.

"Bella?" I pulled myself out of my personal black hole.

"Yeah. Sorry, I have a lot on my mind."

"Okay. Care to explain?" It was probably good thing that Alice was being pushy; otherwise I'd never get it out. But that didn't mean that I couldn't stall.

"You might wanna sit down for this," I warned them. I could just imagine Alice's jaw dropping to the ground. "Anyone for coffee?"

"Bella, you sit and explain, I'll make the coffee." The pixie knew me way to well. That's didn't mean I couldn't keep trying.

"But Alice, you don't know where everything is!"

"Bella, I knew your kitchen better than my own."

"Fine," I huffed in defeat and sat down at the counter.

"Well?" Jasper nudged my side and smiled reassuringly, but I didn't help me one bit.

"Okay," I really didn't want to relive this, but it was necessary.

"So about three months ago, I was having really bad day…"

**Flashback**

"Bella, is it ready yet?"

"Yeah Ange, I'm trying to print it!"

"Kay. Eric is getting anxious."

"Tell him I'll be right there." Personally, I had nothing against interns, but god, Jess had really stuffed up this time. I mean, I know she couldn't help if she was sick, but the deadline for this article was Monday. It was now Friday and she still hadn't written it. Had she written it on time, Eric wouldn't be breathing down my neck and I probably wouldn't be yelling at the printer to just fucking print.

"Bella, calm down."

"Sorry Ange. The stupid printer won't print."

"Yeah, I know. The whole office heard you!"

"Oops!" Damn it. I wouldn't be able to leave tonight without turning some shade of crimson.

"Eric said not to worry about it, he'll just run it in the next print."

He'll run it in the next print? I slaved over that damn article today, and he's just gonna run it next time." I felt like punching a wall, but settled for clenching my fists at my side. " I gotta go."

"Kay Bella. I'll see you tommorow."

"Yeah." I grabbed my bag from my desk and ran out the door to my truck.

Who the hell does he think he is. I am one of his best writers, not some floosy who did everyone else's work, and didn't get any credit for it. This was the fifth time this month.

I needed a drink, I needed to vent. I started to call Alice, but soon remembered that she was still on her honeymoon. Rose and Emmett were on some Island. I didn't even want to think about what they were doing. I still needed a drink. I started my truck and decided that I would go into the first bar that I found.

I was on my third shot, or was it my forth. I'd lost count. I needed to talk to someone, but there was no one around.

Then I saw him. He still had the same beautiful bronze hair and emerald green eyes. He caught my eye and I felt myself turn red. He started to walk over to me and I turned around, trying to hide my blush.

"Bella, Bella Swan?" Shit!

"Yes?"

"It is you. Hi, it's me Edward Cullen." Of course it's you. How the hell could I forget you!

"Oh, hey!" What a lovely response to the man I can never stop thinking about! He sat down on the stool next to me.

"How are you?"

"I had a pretty crappy day, today, but otherwise, I've been good. You?"

"Yeah. I've been good. I actually just got a job at the hospital in Forks."

"Oh, that's great. So you did follow in Carlisle's footsteps?"

"Not exactly. I'm a gynaecologist."

Wow, that's even better!" He blushed. Wait. Edward Cullen doesn't blush!

"So what have you been up to?

"Oh, I'm a writer."

"Wow, that's great. Who do you write for?"

"The Daily"

"Wow." I was extremely grateful when the bartender came over. I wondered if he was feeling as awkward as I was. Probably not, I mean, he's not in love with me!

"Would you like anything," I was pulled back to reality.

"Beer"

"Wow. I never took you for a beer girl!"

"Like I said, bad day."

We eventually went out for dinner because in Edward's words, ' we had to catch up'. After dinner we went back to his place because he had something to show me. It was a picture that someone had taken at graduation. We were all so happy.

"Do you member that?" His words were slurred.

"Yeah." So were mine. I started to feel dizzy, so I sat down in his couch. I put my head between my knees, not that it helped. The alcohol was definitely starting to get the better of me.

"Edward, I love you." What the hell, where did that come from? My mouth seemed to be disconnected from the rest of my body.

"Be-ll-a". He dragged my name out, making it sound like a song. I turned around to find his face closer than I had expected.

"Edward." My mind was lost. He was all I could think about was running my fingers through is hair, on his face, on him.

It couldn't be stopped. We were both drunk, but we both knew what we were doing. We both wanted it, me probably more than him.

Before I could think it about any further, his lips were on mine, hard yet gentle. He kissed down my ear, my neck, my collarbone.

We were long gone now, but I didn't really care. I had wanted this since I was sixteen.

"Bedroom." The last thing I heard him murmur.