Thank you to all the dedicated readers who are somehow, inexplicably still interested in this story after so many years. Maybe it's because I, too have dreamt of the day a favored story would be finished... but I am humbled. I hope the final 10-15 chapters are worth your wait.

To the new readers - because there are some! - I say welcome! Leave a message, let me know why you picked up the story, tell me what you think. I'm always listening.

And, yes. Jasper is opening up to Bella - even if truth sometimes resides between the lies. =)

62.

Someone shook my shoulder. I groaned and pulled the blankets over my head. My entire body ached in that way that just kicks you into comfort mode, as if all my knotted muscles had untied during the night. And I was having the best dream.

"You're going to miss breakfast," someone was saying.

I grunted, still refusing to stir. I felt sleepy, lazy and way too good to ever wake up.

"C'mon," she pressed, her voice sing-songy, "Charlie made it special."

That got my attention. If Chief Swan made any meal special I had to wonder whether my plate was poisoned. I flipped the covers off my face.

A full ray of morning light blasted me in the face. Evil, evil sun. I shielded my eyes with a bare arm and looked up at Bella. She beamed at me over the edge of her living room couch.

"Whattim?" I asked, my voice muffled through the blankets.

"Time to put these on before Charlie comes back downstairs." She grinned and tossed a bundle of clothes onto me. My pants.

Oh.

Last night came back to me. Our ragged breath… bodies urgent, all knees and elbows before we found a rhythm in the dark. We'd been together. Inseparable. For a moment I'd forgotten what it was to be alone.

I remembered rummaging through the medicine cabinet afterward without finding any pill bottles. I also recalled smoking on the porch at some point wrapped in a blanket and not much else, trying to fight back against two dueling realities: I did something stupid and I didn't care. Bella had stayed with me for a while, wrapped inside the fabric with me, talking and kissing until our eyes felt weighted. She was the one who decided it was safer for me to sleep on the couch.

I bolted upright. Even though it was unofficially summer, the house felt much cooler without an insulating blanket - or a shirt. I dug through the pile of clothes, found the shirt and pulled it over my head. My shoulder muscles twinged in discomfort.

Bella watched as I wrestled my way into my pants. A smile spread on her face as I struggled to turn them right side out. She actually snorted when I started to pull them on backwards.

I figured it out eventually and stood, checking my appearance. Was there some other clothing I'd forgotten? My shoes and socks were still in the foyer. Other than bedhead and puffy sleep eyes, I looked fine.

"Coffee?"

"Kitchen."

Now that she mentioned it, I did smell fresh coffee. I shuffled toward it, but the kitchen was even brighter than the living room. I made it to the table, sat heavily and closed my eyes again. There was no sign of Charlie or his "special breakfast" yet, and it occurred belatedly that she'd just said that to get me up. I thought about what I'd say to him when he did come down. Something better than what was running through my head: Howdy, sir. Remember that thing you definitely told me not to do? My bad. Please don't kill me.

Bella clinked around the kitchen, the sound hypnotic in my morning stupor. I caught a hint of her humming and smiled. She padded over and pressed a warm mug into my hand. I wrapped my free arm around her waist and pulled her into my lap.

She twisted so our faces were inches apart. She bit her lower lip to hold back a grin, her eyes intense with something I now recognized. Hunger. "It occurs to me I forgot to say 'Good Morning,'" she said.

She kissed me like a farmer testing the depth of a newly discovered well. How far could you push it? How deep did the wellspring run? Her fingers ran through my hair and down my arm. My body, pressed against the chair back, greeted her enthusiastically. Oh boy. This wasn't a well. It was the fucking rabbit hole to Wonderland.

We heard movement on the stairs at the same time. Bella disentangled herself from my arms and gave me a couple inches to breath. I needed them, but more than that I needed a shield. I let out a shaky breath and held her against my chest.

"Hey-" her protest cut short as she felt why I wasn't thinking so clearly; the blood wasn't exactly rushing to my brain. She rolled her hips experimentally.

I groaned into her back. I almost didn't mind that I was about to get shot by the police chief. "Keep doin' that and I won't be able to run when he kills me."

She laughed and settled. "Just drink your coffee."

"Yes, please. Before you inhale my daughter," her dad said as he entered the room. He went about the kitchen with everyday ease, one hand resting on his hip holster. I pushed his daughter out to arm's length - any farther and she'd have tumbled to the floor. She caught her balance, looked at my wide-eyed terror and had the decency not to laugh.

"Dad, be nice," she scolded. "He already thinks you poisoned the food supply."

Chief Swan leaned against his counter. He looked longingly at the steaming coffee carafe before fixing his eyes on me. "Well, I dunno about the food."

I'd been about to reach out for my mug. Now I reconsidered. "Maybe I'll eat when we get home. They're probably waiting for us."

Her dad grunted. "Expect so."

Bella frowned, and I could tell she was hesitating. With my sister there, it made sense. Rosalie warmed up to people like arctic frost, which is to say… not so much.

"C'mon," I teased. "I'll protect you from my sister."

"Am I that transparent?"

"Like water," I said. "But, you know, more like tropical shores - not Puget Sound."

She giggled. Chief Swan groaned loudly and stalked from the room. We took the opportunity to get out of the house.

Neither of us wanted to go. Bella wasn't looking forward to a full day with my snippy sister. Me? I didn't want to share. Yesterday had been perfect. I felt like I'd scaled a mountain and stumbled into a dream world. I never wanted to wake, but I felt pretty sure this would do it.

"Let's drive south," I suggested. We were at the intersection with 101. North led home. South, to freedom.

"Tempting." She grinned but turned the truck north. "What's to the south?"

"Warmth. Sunlight."

"It's sunny right now," she said.

"Actual sand beaches." I retorted.

"Touche."

"If I could, I'd drive south and never stop 'til I saw red rocks under blue sky." I sighed. "Just me, a ranch and the desert."

"Nobody else?" She sounded disappointed.

If I could've kiss her without making her lose control of the truck, I would have. "My lady, of course."

"And what do we do on this ranch?"

"Raise dogs," I answered promptly. "Bernese Mountain Dogs. We'll have a petting zoo full of 'em."

"You have this all thought out, don't you?"

"Ask me about the duck pond."

"I can't believe I'm in love with a ranch hand!" She laughed. We turned onto my road. Sometimes home was too close for comfort.

/M.I.\

Emmett was loitering in front of the open garage when we pulled up. He greeted us as if we were returning heroes, and I knew something was up immediately. Em was an easy read.

"Hey, Bells!" he smiled at Bella like he'd swallowed a sunbeam.

"Don't even-" I started, dropping my girlfriend's hand. I dodged away from her.

Em hit me with a full-body tackle. Bella shrieked as we collided, and in my distraction Emmett almost hauled me to the ground. He howled in triumph. I was inches from defeat before I got my legs under me. I jabbed him in the gut and spun free, rising in an exaggerated boxing stance. We both laughed.

"You good, babe?" I called back to Bella without taking my eyes of Em. Like hell was I falling for that again.

"This isn't over," he warned me before turning back to Bella. He enveloped her in a full-body hug. She screamed again, this time in delight as he spun her off the ground.

"You waiting for us to get here?"

"You wish!" he threw a fake punch at me. I knocked it aside, and he laughed. "The 'rents sent us to unpack the summer stuff."

Something metal crashed in the garage and Rose's raised voice carried over the racket. Bella stepped a little closer. I slid an arm around her as I looked around Em's shoulder, half expecting to see a lawn chair fly through the open garage door.

Ed appeared in the doorway looking dusty. He jogged over and smacked Em. "Hey, slacker!"

I looked between my brothers. "Need some help?"

Ed shook his head. He waved at Bella without really looking and turned his attention on me. "Dad wanted to see you."

Lucky me. "No chance you'll trade?"

"C'mon, Bells." Em pried my girlfriend away and steered her into the fray. "You can help Alice dust. It'll be fun."

She looked over her shoulder, her expression almost plaintive as we parted. Her nerves made sense. She'd been friends with Ed and Alice before we started talking, but I'd changed the dynamic. Now she wasn't the school friend; she was my girlfriend, trapped alone in a room with Alice and all my siblings. I hoped they could behave.

I headed for Carlisle's office. It was his designated "Let's talk" spot, the only place where his legal guardian side thrived. Almost every confrontation and mentoring moment began or ended in the office.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow when he saw me. His appraisal made me uncomfortable. I stuffed my hands into my pockets, feeling like an ant beneath a magnifying glass.

He pushed back from his desk. "Well, at least you're still alive."

I opened my mouth to retort, but he was right on this one. Here I was, unable to explain even to myself what I'd been thinking. I parked myself on the couch and sank into the cushions.

"Sleep well at Bella's?" he asked. A drawer opened. I heard the clattering of many small objects against plastic. Three guesses said he wasn't grabbing tic-tacs.

I nodded. I'd slept like the dead.

"Were you two safe?"

My body went rigid. How did he - how could he know? I forced myself to remain calm and met his gaze as I shrugged the question off. "I don't know what you're talking about."

One corner of his lips twitched upward, but he smothered the smile. "It wasn't too long ago I was your age," he said. He slapped my medication into my palm with a pointed look. "Do we need to talk?"

"Uh." I couldn't think of anything better to say, but I really hoped this conversation wouldn't keep going. Looking at the pills in my hand, I grimaced. My eyes flicked to him then back. I shook my head. "I don't wanna-"

"Jasper-" Carlisle began, his tone one part warning and three parts exasperation.

"They fuck with my head!" I said, louder than I meant to. "I can feel it, and it feels weird, and I don't like it."

He put a hand on my shoulder. "It doesn't feel right because you won't take them when you're supposed to," he said as if that was the only explanation in the world. "Like, at all yesterday?"

Maybe it didn't feel right because it wasn't right. I couldn't be the only one who thought so. But I heard light footsteps coming down the hall. This wasn't the best time to argue about it. I took the pills with a bottle of water Carlisle offered, glaring as I drank.

Bella knocked on the wall and leaned around the corner. "Excuse me, Mr. Cullen? Alice said you knew where the Tylenol was?"

Carlisle looked over her. "Feeling okay?"

"Just sore," she said. A second later she added, "from the hike."

His eyes went to me. I flopped face first into the couch. Maybe it would swallow me.

She came over once he left the room. She sat on the opposite end of the couch where my feet gave her enough room. She didn't speak, and I wiggled the pills loose from between my gums and cheek. I spit them out, took a deep breath and spoke into the cushions. "So Carlisle knows."

"What?" Her hand went to my leg, disappeared, and came back with an insistent shake I couldn't ignore.

I came up for air. "He knows," I said miserably. My ears burned. I couldn't keep the grimace from my face as I waited for her reaction.

"So…" She jerked a thumb behind her as if he was standing there. I nodded and held out my hand. She squeezed it tight. The blush was starting to creep in now. "What did he say?"

"That he wasn't always an old fogey." Thinking about it, I almost had to laugh. It was such a Carlisle reaction.

He came back into the room with the stealth of a practiced interloper. Being in the hospital, I guess he had to be unobtrusive around patients. He handed Bella two pills. I gave her the rest of my water.

"Bella, does you father have plans after work?" He kept his tone casual, but I watched him. He was up to something. He had to be.

She seemed as taken aback as I was. "Don't think so."

"Please invite him for dinner," he said. "Esme and I have been thinking that it's time to meet him outside of work."

"He's referring to my reputation for misdemeanor offenses," I said in a stage whisper. "My juvenile record."

Bella looked impressed. "And here I thought it was personal." She pecked me on the lips. "I'll text him."

"… and maybe join us on the patio," he added as if it hadn't been awkward enough. "The weather's nice and we're about to start grilling."

/M.I.\

A few hours later, we were sitting under the shade umbrella sipping on Esme's fresh lemonade.

Rose didn't want to sit near Bella, so she sat at the far side of the table. Her and Ed made a gloomy pair. He'd been avoiding me all day, too. Probably thought I did something stupid by spending the day with Bella. Safety Sam. Puritanical Pete. Monstrous Fucking Inconvenience. All the titles suited him.

I considered being angry with him, but his distance put Alice and Emmett closer. They were the life of the party. We all swapped jokes about TV movies. Bella mentioned a duck pond; I laughed, and my family tried not to be too shocked.

After a while, Bella came up with a brilliant idea. "Guys, we should do something."

Emmett straightened. "Wanna play ball?"

"No!" Alice and Edward cried at once.

I leaned over the table. "Let's hear him out."

My sister scoffed. "You would say that."

"You wound me, Rose." I pressed a hand to my heart. Em nodded in support.

Bella looked around the table, realizing that she'd said something wrong. "Or we could pick something else?"

Em and I shook our heads at once. I pushed away from the table. "Nope."

Ed sighed. "If we play baseball, you two stay in the outfield."

"The far outfield," Rose added, pointing her finger between the two of us.

I laughed again. "Why, sis? You playing this time?"

"Hell no!" My sister smoothed the skirt of her dress, which she'd somehow managed to keep clean despite unpacking our entire summer furniture set. She lowered her dark sunglasses and looked at Bella. "You don't know what you've done."

"I'm beginning to see the picture."

Em and I went for the gear. He found the ball, but I couldn't locate mitts - and who needed gloves anyway? While we were gone they decided to play cards instead. It was okay by us. Em and I didn't need extra help to toss the ball, and I was pretty sure fewer people would get hurt this way. We jogged to the yard far enough to protect the house from broken windows. The noise from the party didn't carry this far out. I tossed Em the ball.

He threw it back underhand. We started easy, tossing the ball and asking questions about each other's lives.

"How's school?" Toss.

Catch. "Sucks. You?" Toss.

"Biochem killed me this semes-" Catch!

Throw! "I'm stuck inside 'til mid-July."

"Summer make-up? You're smart. You'll-" Catch! "Carbuncle gazpacho, that stings!"

"Suck it up!"

Throw!

Catch! "Gahdammit!"

With each pass, we stepped backward. Soon, we were chucking the ball. All pretense of conversation stopped. The speed stung my bare hands when I caught, spun and threw with all my might. The ball disappeared into sunlight.

Em was already sprinting. "Mine!"

I was closer. The ball whistled from the sky as I dove. We collided midair and hit the ground with a crash that must've sounded like thunder. I shoved him off and scanned the ground.

Em hauled me back by my shirt collar. I struggled free. "Whoa, whoa." He grabbed my shirt again, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. "Is that-"

I shrugged him off, but he wasn't looking at my scars. "It's nothing."

"Bullshit." He grappled me into a headlock. I punched him, but it didn't do much good. He flipped my shirt up and looked at the fingernail marks on my back. "Dude."

He sounded … proud, which kinda made it more unbearable. Maybe if I played dead he would leave me alone. I went limp. Em fumbled with the sudden shift in resistance. It was either drop me or break my neck. He let me go, and I landed in a heap.

"First of all, fuckoff." I blew hair from my eyes, glaring at him and his dumbass smile.

"I so called this," he crowed. "I wish I'd made a bet 'cause I knew it, I knew it. I saw it coming!"

"Second-" I hooked a leg around his knee and jerked him off his feet. He went down hard - "shut up, man."

We lay side-by-side in the lawn, trying to catch our breath. "I'm going crazy here," he said after a few minutes. "Talk to me."

"Hell no!" I backhanded him in the chest hard enough that he grunted. "We don't do details."

"That's just 'cause I don't have anything to tell," he said, sitting up.

"Argh!" I covered my ears. "Fucking hell, Em - stop talking!"

He pried my hands away, his expression earnest. "I mean it, Jay. I would tell you so you could… I dunno, kick my ass or whatever. That's what you do, right?"

I cringed. He was asking the wrong brother. "Please never tell me."

"Never?"

"Ever," I pleaded. "I can kick your ass any time. No need to make me throw up first."

We sparred a few more rounds before rejoining the family. Bella's dad was sitting at the table in my old seat. His shrewd cop eyes tracked us on our approach.

Em ruffled my hair and pushed me toward the table. Even though it nearly tripped me, I laughed. I settled into his old seat while he pulled a new chair.

The Chief already knew my brother from a couple encounters in recent years. Em had played cleanup crew to a few of my disasters, smoothing down the police chief's ruffled feathers on more than one occasion. He'd even taken the blame once when I'd stolen my dad's car and crashed it the first time behind the wheel. While high.

We ate in a polite silence punctuated with short conversations. Sports teams were doing well, yes. The fishing trip was relaxing. We should try it some time. Bella never told me, Alice… how did your reception go?

Bella's smile faded as Alice recapped the night. I caught her eye and smiled, willing her to feel what I felt about her. I mouthed the words, hoping she could understand something words would never do justice: I love you.

She blushed but didn't look away. Our eyes locked. Sometimes I felt lost, but never when I looked into her eyes.

"Bells, did Rose show you what we're working on in the garage?" I heard myself say.

She shook her head. Her brown hair swept around her face; it did pretty things to her features. "Does it have something to do with a car?" she teased.

To my right, Em threw a napkin over his plate and scooted his chair back. "I've been wondering about that myself!" I knew for a fact he was lying; he'd sat in the same room while we took the bike apart. "Help me clear the plates? It'll be way quicker with help."

The three of us loaded up dinner dishes and carried them inside. We dumped the plates and silverware into the sink. She and I turned at the same time, but Em leaned in the doorway, blocking our path. Bella didn't know my brother well, but I was irritated. "What now?"

"Bella's new to subterfuge, so I'm giving her a pass. But, you, Jasper!" Emmett pressed a hand to his heart with a pained expression. "Did one of my punches make you forget how to be subtle?"

"It's never worked before," I growled.

He snorted. "Good point. For the rest of the day consider me your unofficial chaperone. I'm cool with your PDA, but let's keep it an All Ages-"

Bella tugged me down to her and pressed her lips to mine. She tasted like sunlight and pineapple. My heart skipped a beat. My hands found her hips, pulled her close. She threw her arms around me, and at once the space between us disappeared. We kissed. We kissed like time stood still and the Earth stopped spinning and life depended on us.

Someone cleared their throat. When we broke apart, my brother was still standing there. "I hate to see what you work on in the garage."

I punched his arm as we walked past and was rewarded with a grunt of pain.

Served him right.

A.N. - special thank you to thebesttwilighter and so many more for coming on board with my story! Also, to Guest (you know who you are, even if I don't), Twisted-Twilighter, theholytoast, , , and slc6548... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER! Seriously. You all rock.

Tune in next time for Chapter 63: Separation Anxiety.