OK, so this is my first AKATSUKI fan fic...I hope you enjoy it! I'll be constantly updating it, btw. Read & Review, please!

"Listen up"! Pein bellowed loudly. The Akatsuki leader was sitting on a throne-like chair on a raised platform, facing the assembled members of the organization. The meeting was being held in a large, circular room lit only by blazing torches lined on the stone walls. Naturally, the Akatsuki members were impatient and unwilling to stay still. Pein was exhausted as he stared down from his throne; only three members had gathered so far. Screams and laughter echoed down the open door, coming from the hallway.

"Why'd you call us here?" Kisame Hoshigaki demanded. He held his great sword, Samehada, in his left hand.

"Yeah, why, un?" Deidara inquired. The fourth person in the room, Itachi Uchiha, stood silently, his handsome face darkened by some dark thought. Pein looked down at the three members in anger.

"Just proves my point," Pein grunted quietly. He raised his voice. "Well, Kisame, let's wait for your other comrades to arrive first, shall we?"

Kisame grumbled but obeyed his superior. It was then that the closed door was bashed open; it slammed onto the polished floor and cracked into splinters. Tobi came running in as fast as his legs could take him. Behind him, Hidan the Jashinist propelled into the room, clutching his wicked scythe in one hand. His face was twisted in an expression of hatred and his eyes were burning with a passion to kill. Kakuzu the money-loving bounty hunter, Konan the paper-nin, Zetsu the cannibal, and Sasori of the Red Sand strode in silently after the screaming Hidan. They assembled quietly behind the three earlier arrivals while Tobi dashed behind a stone pillar.

"YOU...TOBI...DIE..." Hidan growled in unmasked rage.

Pein groaned. "What happened? And, calm down, please, Hidan."

Hidan pointed a shaking finger at the shivering Tobi. "That masked fool stole my damn Jashin bible earlier! How dare he touch the sacred book of Jashin-sama....I'll have his head for this!" With that, Hidan charged forward rapidly and slashed his scythe at Tobi, who ducked out of the way. He landed beside Pein himself.

"Save me, leader!" Tobi gasped. Hidan approached the shivering Akatsuki member, holding his scythe poised for the kill. Thankfully, Pein stopped the bloodthirsty Jashinist in time.

"Now, Hidan, you really gotta calm down," Pein ordered menacingly. "I've got a really important announcement to make."

"But...I'll kill him....asshole Tobi..."

"Save that for later, will you? Go sit down like the rest of your comrades."

Hidan and Tobi headed down to stand behind Kakuzu and Zetsu. However, they kept a fair distance apart from each other, with Hidan shooting constant death-glares at Tobi. His hand twitched with anticipation, while his other hand still gripped his deadly scythe tightly. Tobi, meanwhile, was looking straight at Pein.

"Aah...finally...now, I know you will be shocked when I tell you this. But no matter. Anyway...I FIND YOUR LACK OF DISCIPLINE VERY ANNOYING!" Pein bellowed loudly.

Itachi sighed. Did that orange-haired freak finally lose his calm personality?

"I find your performances way below my expectations. Not to mention the fact that you ALL deserted your respective villages at a young age," Pein continued. He was about to speak some more when Sasori raised his hand. The Akatsuki leader glared down at Sasori. "Yes?"

"I left simply because my village stunk," Sasori protested. "I hated living in a stinkhole of a desert, the temperature was horrible, not to mention my body wasn't suited for such conditions! I had to resort to living inside Hiruko's air-conditioned body!"

"Oh, shut up, Sasori," Pein groaned. "Let me continue, will you? Anyway, back to my speech. Me, personally, actually isn't surprised about your current performances. You want to know why?"

Kisame gripped his Samehada sword tighter. Deidara actually took his hands out of his ears when he saw Itachi looking at Pein with a look of curiousity on his face.

"All right, here goes nothing," Pein said to himself. He raised his voice again. "Well, I hate to tell you this, but even though you're way stronger, you can't ignore the disturbing fact that you're all just...mere....GENIN!"

Kakuzu gasped, his gasp muffled by his facemask. Hidan's eyes bulged out. Deidara's mouth dropped open as he glared at Pein. Actually, the mouths on his hands and chest did, too; their slimy tongues slipped out, dropping the clay they were munching on onto the floor. Tobi shook his head in utter surprise. Itachi, meanwhile, stood silently in the midst of his comrades; he was confused about something. Pein glared down at them all when he noticed their reactions.

"You're all technically just Genin," he sneered. "No offense, anyway, but me and Konan are qualified for Hokage-level already. Y'all have demonstrated great techniques, but you can't ignore the fact that you have Genin written all over your face. That is why I have taken the liberty of signing you all up for the next Chunin Exams!"

"WHAT?" Hidan howled. "That's unfair! I ain't gonna take no shitty exam! Jashin-sama would be disgraced!"

"Do you get prize money from it?" Kakuzu demanded, his face brightening with the idea of winning cash. "How much?"

"Heheheh." white Zetsu hissed. "I bet there's gonna be some meat there. I've always enjoyed meat of the young."

"Oh, shut up!" Pein bellowed. "Let me finish! The three man teams are as follows: Hidan, Tobi, and Kisame; Itachi, Deidara, and Zetsu; I seem to be short on one member, so I suppose Sasori, you'll have to go with Kakuzu and one of your human puppets, preferbly Hiruko in full Akatsuki cloak. Are you satisfied with your teams? You can complain, but I won't change anything."

Sasori nodded lazily. "Sure thing, leader. Hiruko was a human after all."

Deidara shook his hands in rage. Surely Pein had done this on purpose just to annoy him for the fun of it, pairing him up with Itachi Uchiha, his worst nemesis. He was going to fail this exam with Itachi by his side.

Itachi did not notice his new teammate glaring at him with hatred. Did Pein forget that he WAS an ANBU captain before he ditched Konoha? Well, he was going to go through that tiring exam again just for the fun of it. Plus, he'll wipe those smirks off all of Deidara's mouths in the written exam by answering all of them without cheating. It'll be fun to see how his former villagers react to seeing him participate in the exam. Who knows, I might just ace the Forest of Death in less than an hour!

"I never study, though," Hidan groaned. "Just my luck; brainy boy Itachi isn't on my team. Jashin-sama, grant me a safe passage through this damn ordeal!" He raised his hands high, but his eyes were locked on Tobi's back. He heard that there was going to be one-on-one battles in the exam. He raised his eyes to the heavens again. Jashin-sama, another favor to request. Please pair me with Tobi when the one-on-one matches begin, so I can kick his ass!

"SHUT UP!" Pein commanded menacingly. The Akatsuki members stopped and glanced at Pein. The leader noticed each of them baring different expressions; Deidara glaring at him with such hatred that he could not stand looking at the former terrorist bomber. Genin were so unpredictable.

"All right!" Pein roared. He couldn't wait to watch his missing-nin Genins take on all the other Genin from Konoha who sucked. "To KONOHA!"

Meanwhile, yet another missing-nin was being sent to the Chunin Exams. His Sharingan glared devillishly at any nearby shinobi, and a katana sword was sheathed at his belt. Sasuke Uchiha stepped in front of the gates to Konohagakure. His two other teammates followed him quietly, and Sasuke nodded at them to enter the village. The Uchiha was home.

More to come! This is gonna be interesting; I've got some ideas already...