Chasing Fate Away

Three years of bumping into each other at the most unexpected time, at places where the both of them would be surprised to find each other. The first time was at a coffee shop jam-packed with a lot of people. Everyone was busy chattering away. The tables were so close to each other that you would be able to overhear conversations from three tables away. She was going to get her change from the counter when a tall guy in a hurry to escape the scene, spilled his caramel macchiato on her newly-bought Marc Jacobs white knitted sweater dress. He tried to wipe the mess he had created with a bunch of paper napkins but he had only made matters worse. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead at that instant but he was apologetic and his eyes looked sincere. She just walked away, shopping bags in one hand and an espresso on the other.

The next time they saw each other again was at a bookstore. She was just standing two feet away from him when he turned to her direction. He approached her and started the conversation without so much but a simple "hi."

"I'm really sorry about, you know. I'd be more than willing to pay for the dry cleaning." Then he thought, of course she'd be able to afford that. He should have offered to take her out to dinner instead.

She looked up to him and said without so much of a fuss, "I washed it thrice. The stain is gone but the sweater shrinked into a child's size. I'll never be able to wear it again."

"I'm really sorry about that. I really wish I could do something to make amends," he offered.

"No, it's okay. It's almost Spring anyway." She walks to the other side, pretending to look absorbed in finding a good book.

"I didn't know you like to read." She gives her a look and then he realized how that comment sounded. Making an effort to explain, he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't intend to sound… condescending."

"It's just that Upper East Side girls like me are supposed to be spoiled bitches who couldn't care more about literature or politics or perhaps anything that requires the use of a brain." When she said this, she had not sounded sarcastic or even the least bit annoyed. She just stated it as if it was a mere fact, a common knowledge to all but he noted a hint – just a tiny little bit hint of disapproval at this generalization. She always tries to blend in and stand out at the same time but she is a Waldorf and the whole world knows she will always be above the rest.

So he laughs and sort of agrees and disagrees with her, saying, "In the same way that Upper East Side boys are regarded as nothing more but spoiled rich bastards who get high on drugs, womanize, stir up trouble but always getting out of things unscathed."

When he grins, she smiles along with him. "How stereotypical."

"But then there's always something more than what meets the eye. Ce qui est essentiel est invisible à l'oeil nu."

"Are you trying to impress me?" She asked playfully.

"I'm not even trying and yet you're already impressed." When he speaks, he exudes confidence, the kind of confidence that is different from Chuck's or Nate's, the kind of confidence that was not overly practiced but just came with experience, the kind of confidence that's just innate. Perhaps it goes hand and hand with being born a Baizen.

"Touche." She says this in such a way that it doesn't make him think that he's already had her but just like that; she lets herself be charmed by the notorious Carter Baizen.

"So aside from children's books, what else do you like to read?"

He laughs again this time as she tries to seem not uninterested. "Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Milan Kundera, J.D. Salinger, Leo Tolstoy and the list goes on."

"That's a variety." She noticed that they're glancing over at the same book. "'By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept'… Hmm."

"It's for someone who's into Coehlo but I have read 'The Alchemist'."

Somehow, his first statement already made her assume that that 'someone' is his significant other (not that she's interested to know whether or not he's dating anyone, of course) so she nonchalantly replies, "I like the simple but profound message it conveys."

"That when you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it," he added.

"Yeah. Something like that."

"Somehow the whole universe is conspiring for us to meet again." There was a knowing look on his face but she just isn't the type who entertains such thoughts or cheesy pick up lines. Only in this case, she didn't find it cheesy but rather engaging so she mentally smacked herself on the head for being interested in him now when just last week, she was casting him murderous looks.

"I don't believe in destiny or any of that crap you're saying," she snidely remarked. Everybody who knows her knows how big of a romantic she truly is but when you break up with the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, all your ideals change, you take a more realistic point of view on things.

"Neither do I. I think everybody is connected, in one way or the other. Everything that happens is brought about by something that's beyond our control. It's sort of like a domino effect… A series of events have brought us together at this moment."

"Maybe it's just plain coincidence."

"But how infinitesimal are the odds of bumping into you here, right now! Are you by yourself?"

"Yes. I like spending my Saturday afternoons inhaling the aroma of new books. It's a secret habit nobody knows." Maybe Cabbage Patch is rubbing off on her, she thinks.

"See? This is what I'm talking about. If you didn't like, I quote, 'inhaling the aroma of new books', then there would never have been a chance for you to be at the same bookstore where I am at this exact moment."

"Maybe so but this is New York, people think it's a big city but the truth is, more often than not, you always bump into someone you know even from way back. The ironic thing is that you always see people you don't ever want to see again."

"So I just happen to be one of those people you don't ever want to see?"

"You and I run in the same circles so it's impossible for us not to meet. I simply have no choice."

"I know this café that serves the best blueberry cheesecakes ever." He told her in a most convincing tone. "We can go there if you want."

"Where the hell did that come from? Are you even planning on spilling coffee on my clothes again?"

He lets out a small, hearty laugh. And she smiles an almost genuine smile. "Just as long as I can have an excuse to have the pleasure of your company, I might."

They have been talking with each other for four hours straight. She has known that he's currently taking his Master's in Management in Harvard, that he likes listening to jazz, that he can cook pasta and make sushi. She has known things about him, things you get to know about someone you meet for the first time. In this case, however, they have always been in the same social circle, always running into each other at social functions such as charity events, posh parties thrown by Manhattan's elite crowd but really there was never one time when they get past to the polite smiles and courteous nods.

"Is there something on my face?" You know how it is in the movies where the guy stares at the girl's face for a minute or two and then the girl asks that question to break the ice.

"You're not stunning at all." He said looking intently into her eyes.

"Is that a more tactful way of saying I'm ugly?" She raised her brows.

"A person has to stare at you long enough before he appreciates how beautiful you truly are. I mean, sure, you're really pretty, no doubt about that. All I'm saying's that, I can look at your face the entire day and never tire from it." He paused to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I think it's more appealing that you are that kind of beauty… As compared to someone who comes off drop dead gorgeous the moment you lay your eyes on her but whose face you easily forget."

"You flatter me too much."

"Flattery connotes insincerity. I'm just saying the truth."

"You are not bad looking yourself."

"That was generous."

"Well, I'd rather have you shower me with your flowery words."

"A good mind is beautiful years after a pretty face is nothing but memory."

"But clearly I have both."

"Oh don't you get too cocky now."

She laughs, and when she laughs, he just lets himself be charmed by Blair Waldorf.

XoXo

A couple of weeks have passed and she still hasn't received a phone call from him. She doesn't tell anyone about her rendezvous with Carter Baizen, not even Serena so in the confines of her bedroom, she thinks, and when she thinks, she overanalyzes things. Had she been too witty, too opinionated for him? Did she seem too interested in him that there was hardly any more mystery around her to keep his interest? She can't believe that she's reading a self-help book entitled "He's Just Not That Into You" and so she concludes that maybe she should play hard to get next time and try to be less herself. She agrees to be asked out by Edward Cane, a guy in her Economy class. She wants to prove to herself that she can make a guy more interested in her than she is in him.

XoXo

"You don't really like the taste of beer and yet here you are downing a Budweiser at some Brooklyn bar." He said the words Budweiser and Brooklyn in a sarcastic tone, mocking her.

"Fancy seeing you here. Somehow I have a feeling you're stalking me."

"Who's with you now?"

"See? You're stalking," she declared. "I'm waiting for Serena and Cab-/Humphrey."

"That explains you being in Brooklyn but surely you would never agree to be a third wheel… Where's your date?"

"He's outside, some important phone call."

"If I were your date, I would never leave your side knowing that there will always be a next guy waiting in line just to be with you."

"Hmm…"

"I'm just saying… you look beautiful tonight. There's no doubt some other guy would notice that."

"Are you flirting with me?" She asked fixing the collar of his shirt.

He grins. "Can't you consider it as me just being honest?"

She smiles and he knows the answer to that is no. "You should try sangria."

"What is it? It sounds royal." She adds a playful tone to her voice. Of course, she knows all the cocktails being served at bars/clubs in the metro.

"It's a drink. Vodka plus red wine."

"Cool. Let me try that."

After a minute or two, the bartender gave them the drinks.

"How is it?" He asked.

She flirtatiously licks her lips with the taste of the beverage lingering on her tongue. "Okay."

"Would you like another drink?"

"Nope."

"You are flirting with me, aren't you?" He doesn't wait for her to object but instead, he reached for her hand and guided her to the dance floor.

"House music makes me nauseous," She said. She liked the way he leaned in closer so that he could hear what she was saying.

"But you're dancing to it anyway."

She surrendered herself in his presence. She became oblivious of her surroundings— the loud music, the bright lights and the drunk people around her.

Their moment was unfortunately interrupted when she saw Serena making her way towards her with Dan and Edward tagging along. Carter understood that this was his cue for him to leave but before doing so, he moves his face just a few centimeters away from the nape of her neck, hiding away from her friends' point of vision. She closes her eyes and waits for the kiss but he just does not do that. "Until we meet again, Waldorf," he whispers huskily to her ear, leaving her with goose bumps and her stomach dropping like she has just experienced one hell of a rollercoaster ride.

"Who was that?" Serena asked inquisitively, trying to make out the familiar figure hurrying away from them. Blair, on the other hand, just grabbed her to the VIP area and chastises them for being late.

She thought it would be her last encounter with him that night but she was proved wrong when she saw him again. It was a starless sky but the cold breeze makes it a peaceful night. They were standing beside the Christmas tree in the middle of Rockefeller Center.

"We couldn't keep on bumping into each other like this," She said.

Silence was his reply.

"Would you like to watch a movie some time?"

"I'll think about it."

She threw the idea out of her mind. She asked him how he was instead. They asked each other a lot of questions. They shared stories about each other. Up to this point, they have never addressed each other on a first name basis. He's intelligent but he's not boring. He's funny when he's not trying too hard to make her laugh. It's not his good looks or charming personality that draws him to her. There's something in the way he talks, the way he acts around her.

Three years of becoming constant companions. She had settled for this scenario. The chance meetings did not come up as a surprise to her anymore. Somehow, she just knew they'd keep on running into each other over and over again and they did. They have kept on bumping into each other at newly opened restaurants, bars, clubs, coffee shops, bookstores, parking lots, as anticipated. They've had their share of hellos and small talks and good long conversations.

XoXo

A starless sky. Another coffee shop in the Upper West Side. She was just sitting across him and so they were facing each other. Frank Sinatra's "Strangers in the Night" was playing in the background—

Strangers in the night exchanging glances

Wondring in the night

What were the chances we'd be sharing love

Before the night was through.

She was distracted. She couldn't continue with what she was reading so she came up to him. "Are you waiting for me to initiate a conversation with you?"

"No." He seemed bored. He mixed the black coffee with a stirrer.

"Are you a patient guy?" She remained standing. He didn't motion for her to sit down. He just sat there, indifferent to her and to everything else.

"Not all the time." He spoke with such coldness and she didn't care.

"Waiting is painful. I don't like waiting for something that's not worth my time." She didn't know why she said it but that made him look at her. There was something in the way he was staring at her that made her nervous. She has never known this side of him that's so aloof and apathetic. The only thing she knows she should do whenever she's around him is to be cautious but all throughout their encounters, she does the opposite, she opens up to him more than she should.

"I've been sitting here for about 30 minutes now and I didn't look like I was waiting for someone else. Were you trying to make me wait for you?"

"I don't like the idea of letting a guy wait on me."

Something in your eyes was so inviting,

Something in you smile was so exciting

Something in my heart,

Told me I must have you.

"Were you waiting for me to approach you first?" He asked her. The coldness was gone. His look was inquisitive.

"I don't want to wait for someone who's not worth my time." They were looking in each other's eyes while talking. She noticed that there were dark circles below his eyes and his hair was messy.

"Are you saying that I'm not fun to have around?" He wasn't being himself at that instant and it bothered her a little.

"I'm not saying that." She retorted breaking the eye contact.

"I'm not worth your time." He said in a low voice.

"You think so?" She asked.

"You said so yourself."

Strangers in the night, two lonely people

We were strangers in the night

Up to the moment

When we said our first hello.

Little did we know

Love was just a glance away,

A warm embracing dance away and -

"Do you know what I hate the most about waiting for someone?" She said. "I hate waiting for someone who wants me to wait for him because it's not right. I hate waiting for someone who makes me think that waiting for him is a good thing because waiting, to him, is a fun game. I hate waiting for someone to make up his mind about wanting me after all this time that he had made me feel wanted." She gasped for air and found his eyes still fixed on her. "I don't want to wait for someone who keeps me hanging."

He remained silent. The song was about to end.

Ever since that night we've been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

"Did he deliberately say that he wants you?" It didn't seem like a question with the way he had said it.

Did he deliberately say that he wants me? She was dumbfounded at this. Her mind totally froze.

She does not say anything and avoids looking into his eyes. She took a sip of what's left of her green tea frappe because she didn't have any idea what to do, how to react.

"I have to go." She took her purse and without glancing back, she left. She just left, feeling humiliated though she wasn't sure if it was exactly what she was feeling. Then she thought that Carter reminded her most of Chuck Bass and maybe, just maybe, the things that she told him earlier were the things that she has so long ago wanted to tell Chuck.

She was already ten restaurants away when she realized that she forgot the book she had been reading. As soon as she was about to go back to the direction where she had come from, she saw him holding the book with his right hand. "You forgot this. You were such in a hurry."

"Yeah. Well… I have to be somewhere else."

He looked at the book's cover before he returned it to her. "The Unbearable Lightness of a Being. Milan Kundera. You're quite the literary type."

"Thanks. You recommended it to me."

"Hm."

"I have to go now. Keep safe."

"Yeah, you too."

She turned around and he continued walking slowly. But for some reason, his feet felt heavy so he just stood there motionless among dozens and dozens of New Yorkers passing by. He honestly wanted something more than whatever it is that they've had but underneath it all, he felt insecure when it came to her. Or maybe he only felt that way when he saw her with one of his protégées. They were dining at Le Soufflé, his hand was on top of hers and she was genuinely smiling at him. They look happy and in love. He was aware that he has developed some feelings for Blair but all he could do now is be a good man and walk away. If he was still the same Carter from before, the guy who conned Nate in a poker game, he never would have cared.

He couldn't help but look back to where they have left off. He saw her moving farther and farther away from his sight. He ran as fast as he could to reach her. He was acting on an impulse and he silently prays for her to look back and when she does, she gives him a puzzled look. He remained frozen. His mind was trying to find the right words to say to her.

"Do you have something to say?" She asked trying to break the awkward silence surrounding them.

"Saturday night. Meet me at the coffee shop where we first met. Do you still remember?"

"Yes… Are you asking me out on a date?"

"A date is something two people do to explore the possibility of romance. I just want to get together."

"It still sounds like a date." She smiled. It was her first one that night. "I'll think about it."

"I'll be there at around 7. I will wait for you. It's not that I don't want you but it's because I'm afraid to want you and maybe that's a bit hard to believe coming from my mouth because I'm Carter Baizen, I never ramble in front of a girl. If you don't show up then I will stop thinking about you. I will stop obsessing about you when I haven't seen you for a very long time. I will stop…"

And with that, he left her thinking that maybe, just maybe, he might be the better version of a certain Chuck Bass.

XoXo

Ce qui est essentiel est invisible à l'oeil nu." (Translation: What is essential is invisible to the naked eye."