by Rick
[ Shinigami world ]
What? Two skulls?
- Boss! I win again!
- Hey Ryuk, come play!
- No, thanks, I pass.
[ Human world ]
There I was, tired of this boring world.
"Yagami-kun?"
"Yes, teacher?"
"Could you translate this last part for me?"
I have no trouble in translating that part. In fact, I am the #1 student in this school. I'm lucky I studied this part in advance yesterday night, so I'll just read it aloud -
"You should follow the teachings of the gods", said a loud and annoying voice. I quickly turned around, indignated that she stole my place at giving a nice impression to the professor. That hyperactive girl who, of all places, had to sit right behind me to annoy the crap out of me. Why?
"You should follow the teachings of the gods. If you do, the sea will stay calm, and the storm shall not arrive".
"Well done, Suzumiya-kun. Yagami-kun, you better pay more attention, you seem distracted today."
"Yes, professor."
I sighed, without knowing Haruhi would grab me by the hair and make my skull crash with her desk for the nth time.
"Hey, Kyon. You heard him, you better pay more attention!"
Kyon. Who gave me that stupid nickname? You know who. Argh, my name is Light! Yagami Light! If I only had some way to get rid of her...
The next day went pretty normal. I still resented the numerous times that Haruhi humilliated me in front of the professors. But behold! As if the Gods heard my cries,I saw a black notebook falling down from the sky. I couldn't believe my eyes. Was that real?
*THUD*
AGH, not again!
"Hey, Kyon!", she whispered. "Did you see that?"
"We're in class, Haruhi", I whispered with a menacing gaze. "Just shut up, will ya?"
Haruhi let me continue the class. After classes finished and everybody stood up, she grabbed my by the shoulder. "Did you see, Kyon? Did you see?"
"See what?", I whispered back.
"That notebook!", she said. "It came right from the sky!"
"Don't be silly. Do you really expect that some alien let it fall down just like that? Besides, don't aliens do much more interesting stuff, like making crop circles? It's more probable that some prankster attached that notebook to a balloon and then let it fall."
"Hmmm", she answered. "maybe you're right... but I'm still not sure..."
"Look, think for a moment about your espers and aliens and time travelers. They wouldn't be so stupid to let their whatever manual fall from the sky in front of everyone, don't you think? As I said, it's probably a prank - and not only that, but it most probably belongs to a first grade student who got bullied by some idiot who played with it and then threw it from the top floor. So a gust of wind caught it, and finally it fell down. It's perfectly logical".
The girl sighed in defeat.
It never fails! The only thing that can beat this lunatic is some hard cold logic. Just give her enough arguments, and she'll have no choice but shut up.
Finally, some rest from that idiot.
But something in that notebook called my attention. If it had been thrown by a prankster, it would have described a parabolic curve. And there was no wind at all, so how come it could have fallen from so high? Well, maybe it was the work of a prankster after all. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I went to find that notebook and picked it up.
"Death Note...?"
I turned the page and found something written in white letters behind the cover, in plain English.
"How to use."
"The humans whose names are written in this note will die."
"Ridiculous." I closed the notebook and carefully put it down right where it fell.
"How stupid. And if that thing were true... this is worse than those chain letters. The person whose name is written dies... how idiotic."
But then I stopped, and looked behind. Was I really considering picking that up?
Yes, I actually went back and picked it up. And then, another hand grabbed it. Suzumiya Haruhi.
"I guess it wasn't a prank as you told me, right?", she asked. "You were kind to leave it for me, but why did you come back?"
I laughed. "Yes, it was a prank after all. Just read it. DEATH NOTE. Anyone whose name is written on it will die. Do you actually plan to believe that shit? Give me a break."
I gave the notebook to Haruhi, and decided to just forget about it. If it was true, I only hoped she didn't write my name on it. Wait a second, am I truly believing that thing's real? No, what I should hope is that Suzumiya's madness isn't contagious.
After I got home, my mom told me someone called me. "It's your friend, Haruhi."
I put my palm on my forehead. "For the nth time, mom... she is NOT MY FRIEND!"
"Well, she told me it was urgent. At least you could do her some favor, right?"
I sighed. "Alright, alright... I'll be in my room."
"She left me her number, just in case you threw it away."
"As I WILL with this one, too!"
I shut the door. Why did she have to pick ME up? Of all humans in the world? Do I have a hint of being a time traveler or an esper, or Santa Claus? But logic is not in the dictionary of that spoiled brat.
I called her number...
"Hey, KYON! Please open your messenger! This is important!"
"Couldn't you just send me an e-mail?"
"No. Oh - turn the encryption on, I don't want anyone to see this."
Neither do I. I just don't want to have anything to do with her.
"Ok, I will... is that all?"
"Yes! HURRY UP!"
"You're not my boss!"
"Aw, just shut up already!" she said, and hung up.
Me? Shut up? She's the one who keeps talking! Why should *I* shut up? Ok, I'll turn on the PC. Hmmm now that I'm thinking, I think I'll e-mail my dad - you see, he's the chief of the police - and ask him if Suzumiya's parents have criminal records or something. Who knows, they might have tried poisoning her and she got brain damage.
[Connecting...]
[off-the-record connection request from Suzumiya Haruhi. Accept?]
Why am I doing this?
[Yes]
Haruhi: Hey, Kyon! Check this out!
Haruhi then began copying some text that she said she read in the Death Note.
Haruhi: This note won't have any effect if the one who writes it does not think in the face of the subject when writing it. This way, the people who have the same name will not be affected.
Haruhi: If the cause of death is written in a period less than 40 seconds after writing the name, it will happen that way. If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die from a heart attack.
Haruhi: After writing the cause of death, the deatils of the death must be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.
For some reason I began getting interested in this Death Note.
Me: So, you can kill them without pain, or make them suffer... it's impressive that someone has put enough effort into this prank...
Haruhi: So you STILL believe it's not real?
Me: Of course I do!
Haruhi: Fine! I'll write your name in the death note and you'll see.
Me: Just try it... but if I die, the evidence is in my bedroom. Unless you take the time to write all the places where I will be copying this text.
Haruhi: DON'T YOU DARE!
Me: Alright, so just forget about it. Besides, if it's real, don't you think that note should be just burned down so that it's not found by someone as crazy as you and starts murdering people left and right?
Haruhi: Aw, shut up. I don't even know why I insist on telling you about this.
Me: Wow. Finally you're beginning to understand my feelings!
[Connection closed]
"Idiot."
I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling for a while. Then I began thinking about it... what if Haruhi wants to actually test this thing? Probably she'll be scanning the TV to search for a criminal to kill right now.
And then she'll be wondering if that will turn her into a murderer. Heh, as if it really had to happen.
I turned on the TV, and a live news report was on.
"The man who indiscriminately wounded and killed 6 people yesterday in Shinjuku still keeps hiding in the nursery of this school, with 8 hostages included young children. The Metropolitan Police has determinated the identity of that man as Kuro Otoharada, 42 and unemployed. Right now they're trying to negotiate with him."
Hmmm... now that's a name and a face to use with the Death Note. Knowing Haruhi, she'll be writing down the name RIGHT NOW.
40 seconds for a heart attack... 6 minutes and 40 seconds for an alternate death. I turned on my chronometer.
The news report gave no new information... and 7 minutes 20 seconds to complete the alternate death. Finally I'll have something to humilliate Haruhi after nothing happens.
3... 2... 1... "See? Nothing happened", I said to myself as if talking with Haruhi. But then something unexpected happened on the TV.
"Wait a minute... something's happening...", said the reporter. "The perpetrator has agreed to give up! He wants to write some strange signs on the school soccer field with a chalk machine, and send a message to the stars!"
What on Earth is going on in here...?
"As we can see, this man has probably gone crazy. But the police are letting him do that, while keeping an eye on him. Wait, he's making the people from school draw the signs for him."
I still couldn't understand... was this a coincidence?
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
"KYON! KYON! TURN ON THE TV!"
"I'm watching!"
"That man... he's doing EXACTLY WHAT -"
Not wanting to find out the truth - nor accepting the consequences of it -, I said:
"Haruhi, for your own sake, SHUT UP!", and hung up.
Sheesh. If it's real, can you imagine her telling on an open telephone line that she had actually planned that man to do that? Hey, that wouldn't be so bad...
"High school girl arrested for complicity in the kidnapping events of yesterday." Hmm... wait a second. Does this mean that... the Death Note COULD be real?
As the hostages finished drawing the signs for him, the man stood in the middle of the field.
"I'm here!" he shouted.
And followed by that, a wide purple laser beam came down from the sky and incinerated the man in an instant.
I opened my mouth and eyes in shock. Just... how did that...
"I can't believe it... the Death Note's real!"
(Meanwhile, in Haruhi's appartment...)
"The Death Note is real... and... what's more...
I knew it!", she said, with sparkles in her eyes. "Aliens are real!"
(To be continued...)