Just a Man's Plaything

I'm so sorry this has taken so long guys, I'm in the middle of revising for university exams and I've had the biggest writers block known to man, in the end I had to turn to romance novels for inspiration, which still didn't really help! I apologize if this isn't up to a good standard but I'm tired and exasperated, I tried my hardest!

Disclaimer: SM owns all!

Chapter 5

Kim's P.O.V.

We left Emily and Sam's after Paul's little accident and Jared had suggested we go back to his house to make a start on our Art projects, which I was pretty happy about, as I still didn't feel ready to go back home alone.

"Right, are you ready to see a masterpiece?" He asked me over his sketchpad, which I hadn't been allowed to see for the last hour.

I giggled at his enthusiasm but was secretly terrified of seeing the way he saw me, "yeah, hit me with it" I said.

He turned his work towards me and I gasped in shock at the image I saw; Jared had sketched me looking over my shoulder with the most distant look. The face had a confidence about it, a confidence that said "this is who I am, like it or leave me", but at the same time I looked so vulnerable the sight made my eyes prick with the threat of tears.

"It's beautiful Jared" I managed to choke out.

He smiled at me sweetly as he touched my face, "I know you probably don't want to hear this from me but it's all down to the model I had to work from."

My stomach fluttered as he looked at me with so much admiration I felt myself turn to mush. My crush on him hadn't gone away, I wanted to climb back into his warm arms and for him to kiss all the pain away but I knew that that ship had probably well and truly sailed since he found out about 'my secret'. Yeah, of course I still felt very wary around guys but with Jared things were different, for some reason I felt safe around him, safe enough to eventually be more than just friends. Argh, why did he have to discover I was bruised and battered??

"So are you going to show me yours or do I have to keep living in suspense?" He asked expectantly, pulling me from my wayward thoughts.

"Erm…." Damn, I hadn't drawn anything substantial, I had been far too preoccupied with thoughts of how I was going to keep the rest of my secret, and consequently my life, to be able to do Jared's face any justice, "'artists block' I guess" I shrugged innocently, turning my sketchpad to prove it's emptiness.

He looked kind of disappointed but he shrugged it off quickly as he caught sight of the time from a small clock on his bedside, "shit Kim it's getting late, I'm sorry I don't want you to get in trouble, we should get going", he said frantically as he jumped to his feet.

"It's ok Jared, don't worry, my step dad's gone away remember" I tried to reassure him.

He motioned for me to get up, "yeah I know but I'm sure whoever's looking after you won't be too happy if I keep you out all night" He persisted.

"It's cool really, no one's looking after me" he looked worried, "I'm old enough now to stay on my own for a few days you know Jared, I'm not that fragile" I retorted, perhaps a little too harshly as his face dropped.

"Yeah, I know you are Kim but do you honestly want to be in that house all on your own? Especially-" I held my hand up to stop him.

"Please, don't even go there Jared, I still can't believe someone knows" I dropped my head, crossing my arms over my chest and refusing to look at him.

"I'm sorry, but even without going there I care about you Kim and I don't like to think of you alone at night" He closed the distance between us and gently put his hands on my upper arms in a successful attempt to soothe me as he brushed his fingers over the faint bruises he saw there. His hands were very warm and comforting; and it was the first time he had touched me intentionally, the thought of him beginning to get over his fear of my fragility warming me further.

Still caught up in his soothing caress, I didn't move when he leaned forward. Bending his knees so he could move closer and whisper next to my ear,

"I know you don't trust easy Kim, it's understandable, it's how you survive, but the secret to survival, isn't a matter of not trusting anyone, but trusting the right someone. In this case that would be me."

The feel of his warm breath against my skin made me shiver. His fingers still moving over my arms, doing the oddest things to my pulse, and my stomach was suddenly tied in dozens of tiny knots. I looked up as he dropped his hands and took a step back.

No one had cared about me for such a long time and suddenly all my dreams come true and I get Jared Makah as a friend, and although it was early days it didn't feel like he was going anywhere fast. He was looking down at me with an expression mixed with both worry and wonder and I missed his closeness, suddenly feeling desperately in need of a hug. I couldn't tell you the last time I had been hugged by someone; sure my mom had given me a light squeeze from time to time on birthdays and Christmases, but never a real, warm and loving hug; a hug that for some reason I felt I could receive from Jared. I dropped my arms to my sides and completely closed the distance between us, resting my head on Jared's hard chest and waiting for him to either push me away or close his arms around me, which he did almost instantaneously.

His embrace was gentle at first, giving me the confidence to wrap my arms around his waist, which in turn spurred him on to hold me tighter while rubbing a soothing hand in circular motions on my back. He smelt amazing, the manly, woodsy scent calming me completely and I felt myself clinging to him tighter. My need for this must have been obvious, as he obliged me for at least a good 10 minutes, occasionally inhaling the honey scent of my hair, before scooping me up like he had done earlier in the day and cradling me in his arms as he sat down on his bed. I could have stayed there forever, I really didn't want to stay in that house on my own, not because I was afraid anything would happen to me but because I was afraid of my own thoughts, especially the memories that I didn't want to think about.

"Thank you" I whispered, wanting him to know how much this meant to me, and he responded by gently planting a kiss on the top on my head.

"Kim, please stay here tonight, I'll take the sofa downstairs so you don't have to worry about that, but there's really no need for you to be alone in that house."

I hesitated for a moment before replying simply, "Ok, thank you" I murmured, happy not to be going home.

I didn't want to sleep, sleep meant nightmares but I didn't feel ready to tell him about those yet, so I slid off his lap casually to say goodnight. He stood up too and retrieved one of his t-shirts for me to wear.

"Goodnight Kim" He said as he bent to kiss me softly on the cheek, causing the skin there to tingle. I didn't want him to leave but it was pathetic to ask him to stay.

"Night Jared" I replied as he left the room.

I shut the door behind him, changed quickly and then collapsed on Jared's bed. I wasn't looking forward to tonight's nightmares but I hoped that the wonderful scent of my newfound friend would help keep them away.

I woke up to the sound of someone singing, well not singing exactly, more like humming. It was a warm and soothing motherly sound and was accompanied by the mouthwatering smell of pancakes, hmmm my favorite. No one ever cooked them for me at home so I rarely had them and the smell was causing my stomach to rumble loudly. I flung the comforter aside and swung my legs to the floor, looking down to see myself dressed in Jared's large t-shirt and my underwear. This would not do to meet his mother, so I quickly pulled on yesterday's jeans, before quietly making my way down the stairs.

An older woman stood at the stove in the kitchen, humming while she flipped pancakes and placed them on a huge stack. She had warm brown hair speckled with a few grays pulled back into a neat bun at the nape of her neck; she wore flat black shoes, and a long summer skirt and white blouse.

I couldn't find any sign of Jared so I watched hesitantly for a moment, keeping myself hidden, or so I thought,

"I'm Joanne, Jared's mama" the woman called, not turning around. I hesitated for a moment before finally stepping into the room and finding my voice,

"Nice to meet you, I'm Kim, a friend of Jared's from school, he let me stay here last night-"

"Relax honey, Jared told me you needed a place to stay and I'm glad that we were able to help" She smiled at me and I returned the gesture,

"Ah, where's Jared?" I asked.

"He had to leave early this morning to run some errands for Sam Ulley but he won't be long. I'm sorry I wasn't here to meet you last night, I'm not sure if Jared told you but I'm a nurse at Forks Hospital so I work nights sometimes. Are you hungry dear?"

She was the stereotypical motherly woman, "erm, yes, please Mrs. Makah."

"Oh, please call me Joanne. Are you from La Push dear? I've lived here all my life; know darn near everyone. Do I know your folks?"

"I doubt it, my mum's Katherine Ryan and my step dad Mitch Ryan but they kind of keep themselves to themselves." Joanne nodded politely as she placed a plate in front of me, stacked with pancakes and covered in fruit and maple syrup.

"Oh my, thank you, I love pancakes but I'm not sure I will be able to eat all of these"

"Don't worry dear just eat what you want, Jared and his friends eat so much I'm used to dishing up hefty portions" She chuckled a sweet comforting sound that made me smile. It wasn't hard to see where Jared gets his caring nature.

We talked for a while about general trivial topics, and I enjoyed the effortlessness of it all, I liked Joanne, she was simple, open and extremely welcoming; but she was definitely intrigued by me and Jared's friendship.

"Finnish your breakfast, dear. I've got something to show you. I'll bet you'll agree that my son was as handsome growing up as he is now. You do think he's handsome, don't you?" She said.

Before I could answer, Joanne was on her feet and off into another room. A moment later she retuned handing me a large picture album of little Jared, and yes, I did agree with her.

Jared's P.O.V.

This morning had been awkward, regrettably I'd had to leave Kim for patrol in the early hours of the morning and as soon as I phased Sam and Paul knew exactly what had happened to Kim. It was hard enough to process without having the pack know as well. They were both shocked and I could hear the disgust and pity in their thoughts making me feel sick, but they had been supportive. It reminded me of the way people would look at me with pity when my dad died 7 years ago and I hated it, I hated how they couldn't possibly understand when they pretended they did and I knew that Kim would hate people acting that way around her just as much. But Sam and Paul weren't to blame, it was a natural human reaction to feel sympathy.

Patrol seemed to take ages this morning, which kept the guy's thoughts off of Kim. We had been in chase of the same vampire for a good couple weeks now and she'd had us running in circles; but when the trail ran dry we made our way back home and Paul struggled to control his thoughts but it was too late, I'd heard him,

Poor Jared, his imprint is spoilt goods.

I let out a deafening growl as I turned on Paul, but Sam was quick to stop me.

Leave it Jared, he commanded.

Blood, I'm sorry, I couldn't control it, Paul pleaded but I didn't want to know. I ran off in the direction of home as fast as I could. It may have been a wayward thought but it cut me deep, not because I was angry I had imprinted on someone that had been violated in the most horrible way but because the center of my universe had been hurt so badly, and repeatedly.

It took me a while to phase back when I reached the house but the thought of seeing Kim again eventually allowed me to return to my human form. I could hear my mom and Kim downstairs so I climbed the wall and jumped in my bedroom window to retrieve some decent clothing before I jumped back out to enter via the front door.

When I walked in I found Kim perched in a chair with my mom braiding her long black hair, so engrossed in friendly chatter and looking at photos, they hadn't even heard me come in.

I lingered in the doorway as I heard my mom detailing one of my many embarrassing childhood stories.

*"When he was 5 he was riding his prized toy truck around the house when he decided he wanted to go and see his daddy downstairs, but instead of walking down them he decided it would be a good idea to ride his truck down the whole flight and as u can see, those steps are uncarpeted and unpadded. After the second step he had fallen out of the truck and was rolling his way down the steps only to land at the bottom and have his broken truck fall on top of him. His father and I almost had a heart attack and the situation wasn't helped by the realization that head wounds bleed an awful lot.

"Good job I got a thick skull hey Ma" I finally chipped in, startling them both. "Stop boring Kim, I'm sure she doesn't want to hear silly stories, just as much as she doesn't want to see my naked baby pictures"

"I was enjoying them actually" Kim retorted with a cheeky smile to my mom, man she was cute.

"I just thought Kim needed to know exactly what a terror you used to be. People in this town think I'm going gray from old age and they need to be put straight" My mom joked, the good feeling between the three of us making me smile.

"Your shift at the hospital still start at 11:30 Ma?"

"Yes son, why?" She asked suddenly confused.

"You're going to be late"

She quickly hopped off her chair apologizing and left the room to get changed for work, returning just as quickly to say her goodbyes before leaving me and Kim alone.

"I'm sorry about my mom, she can get kind of overenthusiastic at times"

"No, it was nice getting to know her, you have a lovely mother" She answered, smiling sweetly but her eyes showing the slightest flicker of sadness.

"You don't get on with your mom too well do you?" I asked, perhaps pushing my luck a little too far, but after a few moments she answered.

"We get on ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah, we rarely argue and are perfectly pleasant with each other, but that's not exactly the relationship you want with your mom is it?" She looked at me and as I looked into her deep brown eyes I was afraid of the sadness I found there.

"Your mom doesn't know what an amazing daughter she has" I said as I pulled her into my arms, embracing her as I had the night before, and was happy when I felt her arms close around me. She felt so small and fragile in my arms and I hadn't failed to notice the way she clung to me when I held her, as if she needed to feel this closeness more than I could possibly imagine, and I began to wonder how much hurt this beautiful girl had had to endure in her life.

We stood embracing in my kitchen for a few minutes before I broke the silence.

"I need to go out again tonight to help Sam again, will you be alright here for a couple of hours?" I felt her nod, her head resting on my shoulder.

"What are you doing this afternoon?" She asked quietly.

I bent my head to kiss her beautiful head, "At the moment, holding you."

NB *I couldn't think of any childhood stories so I stole this one from a forum online, thanks Dark Lord!

P.S. Please review guys, I need the inspiration!

P.P.S. Any ideas for the plot would be greatly appreciated :)