Chapter 3 or better known as Gaz's Rap Sheet

Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, if I own the rights to the show, ya think I be wasting me time posting my ideas on the internet?

"Well thank the Tallest this human's rap-sheet did not make my brain explode like Zim's rap-sheet almost did!"

"Then wait till you hear about the Gaz-girl's crimes… they are quite vile"

"Pff, how vile could a little girl be?"

"More so than Zim's crimes"

Here Stink's red eyes widened as the tentacles appeared and reattached to his PAK yet again "No! Stop! I don't wanna know!"

"Too little too late for that Advisor Stink" One of the brains boomed ominously.

Once again the Irken spammed at the excruciating pain he was receiving.

"!"

"Whiner"

"I am not a whiner; you guys just keep hurting me! WHY OF WHY?! THE PAIN!"

The brain on the far left was quiet for a few seconds and then in a low dangerous voice said "This human is highly dangerous, keep in mind that she is not to be underestimated at any moment, even her less gruesome offenses are anything but humane"

"Why are you telling me this?!" Stink raged "It's not like I'm going to meet her someday!"

All the brains laughed, this sent a cold chill down the advisor's abused spine.

Because when a control brain is amused, then something is not right.

"Always expect the unexpected, that's a rule you should know by now Advisor Stink."

"Ok U get it" The Irken mocked "I might get to know this human"

One brain slaps Stink with one of its smaller tentacles "Always show respect to us you twist"

Stink touches his abused cheek and maliciously said "Respect to machines? Pfff… I respect a dead Hogulus before I respect you!"

The center brain darkly bellowed "Tallest Tak is not around to protect you, I recommend that you take back your sacrilegious comment Advisor Stink, because next time, we WONT be so merciful on you"

The Irken's eyes widened in fear, he had forgotten that his so called hatred for the machines was more of a thing he said when his Tallest was around, since she seemed to have an unhealthy loathing towards the control brains and he only said stuff like that to make Tallest Tak happy, nothing more nothing less.

And now that he said a very cruel thing in front of the machines that in a way ruled the Empire, he was certain that he was in deep trouble.

Had it not been for the center brain just giving him a warning… for now he was lucky.

"I apologize… I forgot my Tallest was not with me"

All the brains simply eyes him in a way that made Stink uncomfortable.

"We will let this lack of respect slide this time, so be grateful Advisor, not many Irkens get the honor of NOT dying at our hands"

Stink released a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding.

"Now then, down to business" The first brain said in a monotone voice. "The Gaz-human's crimes in no particular order are the following"

"Saving lower life forms from painful experimentations"

"But didn't she do that against her will?"

"Nevertheless she saved lives! That ironically is punishable by death!"

Stink smirked evilly "Ah, I love the cruel irony"

"She is responsible for stalking and murdering some kid just for some primitive gaming device"

Stink blink in a mixture of awe and horror.

"Before the invasion, the Gaz-human was also wanted in eleven states for illegally making copies of many games"

"Meh, that's just being stupid"

"She stole technology from her own father and created many robot dolls that were considered too dangerous"

"Dangerous how?"

"They were programmed to feed on human flesh and in fact she also programmed them to eat Irken flesh, there are still about four hundred of those things lose on the planet"

Stink gawked "And I'm just learning this NOW?!"

The control brain on the right got closer to the alien that was now trembling like a leaf "You're the first one to know… why you think there have been so many mysterious deaths on this world?"

"TALLEST TAK DOESN'T KNOW?!" The advisor asked in terror.

"Oh she knows, she just doesn't care to tell anyone else, in her mind anyone who are unable to fend for themselves deserve to die"

Somehow Stink wasn't surprised by his leader's callous attitude.

"The human girl is also responsible for the murder of the previous Tallest Purple"

"WHAT? WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE DO THAT?"

"Records say she wanted revenge for destroying her favorite snaking place"

"That's messed up" Stink snarled "We have caused the genocide of her species and she wants revenge for destroying one insignificant restaurant?!"

"She is a fan of pizza" The center brain said dryly "She views that thing as the most important thing in the universe"

"Oh NOW, I hope I run into her, I'm gonna kill her slowly and painfully and feed her remains to the digestors!

"That can wait"

Stink sneered "Tell me more about her, the more I know the sooner I can find her and slaughter her!"

The first control brain made a sound that was similar to a chuckle, clearly it was amussed at the venom in the Irken's voice "Don't be so blinded with anger, that would only lead you to your doom!"

"WHATEVER!"

"Well if you must know" The third brain said nonchalantly "Gazeline released some demented SIR Unit that ate 60 percent of the Massive's snack pods"

"That is just evil!"

"Told you this girl was more vile than Zim"

"No shit"

"She created a device that turns off the PAK, and has used it several times, wasting several soldiers"

"Who cares, our Empire is growing, we can always get more people to take places of the fallen!"

"Very true"

"Anything else?"

"The human is believed to be a spawn of a demon, she is so dangerous that it has been ordered by our Tallest to shoot her on sight"

"Something Zim has not achieved" Another machine commented.

The center brain moved his dark green eyes ominously, it was clear, something about that little piece of information struck some sort of nerve.

The brains released Stink from the tentacles once again.

"Is that all?" He asked as he got up and massaged his sore butt.

"I'm afraid so"

His counterparts seemed like they were going to argue but he cut them off and once again his attention was to the extraterrestrial in front of them, his ominous eyes not once showed any sort of emotion other than exasperation.

"What are you waiting for?!" The artificial being bellowed "GO! You have an Empire to help organize… and stuff!"

Stink narrowed his eyes in determination, saluted and ran out of the room but not before giving the three control brains one look that seemed to say "thank you"

Once the Irken left, the third control brain broke the silence with a question

"Is he gone yet?"

"NO, he's still here but he's now invisible!" The first A.I said snidely.

"Be quiet BOTH OF YOU!"

"Shut up Zim!"

Soon enough the tree brains slowly collapsed o the floor and then started to break or more accurately a door appeared and started to open from the top of each artificially huge robots.

Once they all opened, three beings came out of them which were none others than Zim, Gaz and Dib!

The scary girl snarled and slapped Dib in the back of his head and punched Zim on the stomach.

The boys collapsed on the floor in pain.

"YYEOWW!"

"MY SQUEEDLY SPOOCH!"

"Pff whiners"

"What was that for?!" Her brother asked.

"For being stupid, you just had to be quiet when I told you so but no, you just had to keep that mouth of yours opens!"

Zim snickered.

"And you!" Gaz was now glaring at Zim "Why the hell did you have to cut my rap-sheet short!"

"Because no one can have a longer rap-sheet than the amazing Zim!" The Irken yelled at the top of his uh lung "NO ONE!"

Gaz smirked "Ah so you admit my criminal record is longer than yours"

"Zim will never admit such a thing," The defective cried "The concept of someone committing more chaos than I is improbable!"

She snorted "But not impossible, after all I beat you"

"NO YOU HAVENT!"

"EXCUSE ME!" Dib finally interjected "Since when did having a longer rap-sheet became something to me proud of!"

Zim and Gaz looked at him as if he were a moron "Pff, obviously you don't understand"

The Irken chuckled maliciously.

"Understand what?" The human question "How insane this is?!

Zim grinned "EXACTLY!"

NOW it was Dib's turn to give Zim a look of bafflement.

"Your sister and I have our own little contest of who is more evil, me or her and we both know I am!"

"Your not considered evil, if your insane" Gaz pointed out smugly.

"LIES!"

"Focus!" Dib yelled "What was the purpose of us taking control of the brains Zim!"

"I told you Dib-pig ,Stink is sure to grow paranoid of the information we just gave him and sooner or later he will have a beakdown and then BAM we can kill him and Tak at the same time! It's ingenious! WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Gaz rolled her eyes "Moron… what we just did was to give him reason to be on the lookout for us, WHY I agreed to help you?"

"Because you know that my amazing plan will succeeded and because I AM ZIM AND ZIM IS NEVER WRONG!"

"Oh if he's never wrong then tell us, after telling Stink of our past crimes, what will he do?" Dib asked incredulously.

Zim shrugged "I dunno, be on the lookout for us?"

Both humans blinked and then simultaneously slapped their heads.

"We are so doomed" Gaz muttered.

"Or are we?" Zim asked stupidly.

"Yes!"

"Think it well! Stink will be paranoid!"

"And how will that help to free our planet?!" The raven haired boy asked angrily "He'll only go harder on the slaves!"

"Oh I don't think so, by he being paranoid, his credibility will go down faster than some sort of downy… person… thingy."

"" Gaz said not at all convinced and then what?"

The alien looked at the girl with annoyance and crossed his arms in arrogance "After that we just wait, sooner or later some soldier will simply kill him for us, remember Advisors even thought they help the Tallest, they aren't the Tallest and they aren't as important, if anything they are expendable"

"Then doesn't that mean that someone else will simply take Stink place?"

Zim smirked cruelly "Yes but that would take time and since the advisor has high security, after his dead then all the security will simply focus on Tak"

Dib was catching up on his ally's plan "Then the security on the slaves will be diminish"

Gaz opened an eye "And that way our changes of freeing others will be much easier and a revolt could happen"

Zim nodded "Told you I knew what I was doing"

All the three "friends" grinned at each other.

"This plan is flawless."

"For once I may agree with you space boy"

Zim began to laugh evilly and then got a communicator out of his PAK" GIR! Mission accomplish, get us out of here!"

"Yes my master!"

Zim, Dib and Gaz started to glow and faster than the Sir unit could scream "monkey" they had disappeared.

THE END.

Well this story is done and done.

So watcha think of it? I suppose I could have gone further with Gaz-criminal record but she was just such a hard character to think of crimes for, also the kid Gaz "murder was Iggins from "Game Slave 2" For those of you not in the known Jhonen originally planned to kill Iggins but nickelodeon did not want that, so for the sake of the story, let's pretend Iggins died, ok?

Also, no there won't be a sequel, this was intended to simply be a comical thing, not real purpose other than to think of all the bad things our three main characters did before, during and after the series.

If anyone wants to know, the reason why I'm not giving Gir any "air time" is because despite being an evil minion to Zim, he hardly can be considered a danger to anyone, unless you count his brief sanity when he got stuck in duty mode.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.