Twilight Retarded Edition

Bella: Hey Edward!

Edward: Hello Love how are you?

Bella: I'm great now that you're here!

James pops out from no where

James: I'M GOING TO EAT YOU!

Bella: O.O

Edward: *Growl*

James: *Snarl*

Edward: *Snarl/Growl*!

James: MOO!

Edward: …wtf?

James: I ran out of options.

Edward: Okay then.

James: Want to grab a mountain lion or two?

Edward: Sure

James and Edward skip off into the sunset holding hands and squealing like little girls.

Bella: O.O…

Next Day....

Bella: Hi Rosalie

Rosalie: Hello Bella

Bella: Your Pretty

Rosalie: I know

Bella: STUCK UP BITCH!

Rosalie: …

Rosalie: WHAT DID U JUST SAY TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!

Bella: wow you really are a dumb blonde…ME. BELLA. SAY. THAT. YOU. ROSALIE. HALE. IS. A. STUCK. UP. B-

Rosalie bitch slaps Bella.

Bella: OH NO U DI- INT!

Rosalie and Bella roll around the floor pulling each others hair out and bitch slapping each other (Rosalie of course slaps and pulls her hair out very softly but to Bella it still hurts)

Jasper: Should we stop them?

Emmett: HELL NO!

Edward comes in room

Edward: WTF?

Edward runs and gets holy water

Edward throws holy water on Rosalie and Bella

Rosalie: um that did nothing.

Bella: IM MELTING! IM MELTING!!!

Edward: Heh, didn't see that one coming

While Bella is twitching on the floor melting…everyone eases out the room suspiciously. (hehe :D)