Access Granted

"Hey." Lindsay greeted her friend softly, closing the door behind her. She was supposed to be working on the Kid Rock case, but she'd taken her lunch break straight to the hospital. Stella was sitting on her bed with her knees still tucked to her chest and looking gloomy.

"Hey." Stella managed to smile weakly.

"How're you doing?" Lindsay's sweet voice was almost a whisper as she sat down to speak to her friend face to bloodied face.

"Better...thanks, hon." Stella hugged her younger friend back as best she could and accepted the coffee cup gladly. She took a sip carefully, her hands were still shaking and the cuts on her fingers were sensitive, especially to the heat radiating from the Styrofoam.

"You've been through hell." Said Lindsay.

"I look like hell." Stella let out a laugh, though there was no humor nor happiness in it. She looked at the younger woman. "How are you?"

"What do you mean?" Lindsay frowned.

"Danny told Mac, who told me, about your little...outburst." Stella smiled as Lindsay had the grace to look embarrassed. "What's up?"

"I just...I was upset. I knew what happened to you, but I felt so helpless." She said desperately.

"Lindsay, I appreciate your concern more than you could know, but I'm okay. Thank you." Stella nodded.

"I saw you just before it happened." Lindsay continued firmly. "I saw you before this happened, I should've been able to prevent this."

"There was nothing you could have done." Stella said just as adamantly, not wanting guilt to fall on the younger woman. "Nothing."

"I saw you just before you were leaving for your errands. Just before you broke up with him...just before..."

"Hey Stella, you heading out?" Lindsay asked, spying the Greek woman heading out of her office with her dress and jacket on.

"Yeah, I've gotta get some things then I'm just heading home." Stella answered with a faint smile.

"You gonna be okay?" She asked in a quieter voice.

"I think so. The next time he calls, which he will, I'm dumping him. I can't believe what he did." Stella shook her head.

"You want me to come with, maybe we can go shopping afterwards?" The cowgirl asked sympathetically.

"Thanks Lindsay, thanks so much, but I think I'm good. I just need to go home and chill out." Stella ran a hand through her curls and let out a shaky breath.

"Talk to Mac?" Lindsay teased.

"What?" Stella asked, though her voice didn't mask her play-dumb tone very well.

"Come on, you know you like Mac." Lindsay insisted.

"I'll see you later, Lindsay." Stella said, signaling the end of the conversation as she put the headband in her hair to keep it back.

"See you, Stell."

"If I had gone with you, this whole thing could've been prevented if I had just-"

"What? Come with me and ended up being trapped in that hell hole with me? No, none of us will have any of that. Not me, not Danny, not anyone." Stella pointed, sounding like a mother scolding her child.

"I feel so bad." The honey-blond shook her head.

"Don't." Stella shook her head as well.

"How long 'till you can get out of here?"

"They say by the end of the day at the very soonest. Mac and Flack are working on my case, and maybe I can convince Mac to sign me out." Stella sniffed and touched the corners of her eyes.

"You've been crying." Lindsay stated more than asked. She'd only known Stella for a short while but she already liked and respected the woman greatly. She was the strongest person she knew, and to see her cry was like seeing the Statue of Liberty fall. When stone crumbles and falls into the dark water below, it's never a good thing. "I'd be a wreck."

"No, you wouldn't, you're a tough cookie." Stella smiled.

"You're resting, taking all your medications." Lindsay started.

"Yes, yes, yes, do you know how many times Mac has asked me that?" Stella held her hands up around her, looking up at the ceiling.

"Twelve."

"I thought it was more." Stella blinked.

"He told me." Lindsay laughed lightly. "He's worried sick about you, you know?"

"He's such a worrywart." Stella sighed. "He needs to learn how to take care of himself."

"Speak for yourself." Lindsay scolded.

"I'm not nearly as bad as him." Stella protested in her defense.

"We're all worried." Lindsay said somberly, returning the more serious conversation.

"I'll be alright...eventually." Stella mumbled, finishing off her coffee and going to set the cup on the tray beside her, but...

"Stella, you're still shaking." Lindsay watched with a fear she'd never felt before. Her eyes were wide and she felt as though even watching the usually adamant woman tremble would bring the world to its end. Her hands were shaking as she tried to put the coffee down.

"They never stopped." Stella explained, referring to when they'd first began to shake; she was holding the gun watching him go down and she could hear the faint clitter-clatter of the gun as her hands shook.

"You should rest." Lindsay had seen Stella and Mac had conversations like this before, where they'd say little out loud but most of the conversation was silent anyway; communicated through eyes.

"You need to get back to work." Stella smiled genuinely, this time, the light traveling all the way up to her eyes.

"Yes, ma'am." Lindsay mock saluted, putting on her best Mac the Moody Marine expression, making Stella laugh happily.

"Oh my gosh, you have to show that to Mac someday." Stella put her hand to her mouth and let out one last laugh before stopping. Lindsay's smile grew wider; Stella's hand had stopped shaking. "Now run along, sweetie, Mac wants that case wrapped up asap."

"See ya, Stell." Lindsay said by the door.

"See ya, Linds." Stella waved.

"Take care." Lindsay looked at the hardened woman, who nodded.

"You're a very good friend, Don." Stella embraced her good friend gladly and kissed him on the cheek. She was a physically affectionate person, sure; she'd missed out when she was a kid.

"I heard somewhere you were getting out of here." Said Mac.

Stella turned suddenly and felt her face light up with a smile and her cheeks flushed as soon as she saw him. "Hey, yeah. I'm ready to go."

"The nurse told me about the fit you had earlier."

"Miss, please, you need to rest." One timid nurse urged.

"I NEED to get the hell out of here." Stella corrected, staying resolute. She was walking around freely now, despite the staff's worry.

"Miss, please return to your room." Another nurse insisted, though it was clear the Greek detective wasn't going to obey anyone.

"Hey!" Stella whipped her head to look at a young, male intern.

"Y-yes?" He was intimidated to say the least. A battered and beaten but still beautiful woman, wearing just her hospital gown-which was quite short on a tall woman like her-was glaring at him.

"When's my release set for?" She asked with a nod of her head.

"T-today, with clearance, that is." He stuttered, trying not to look at her long and bare legs which were fairly exposed in the white gown.

"Good, I can't wait to get out of here." Stella huffed.

"Wait! You can't get out of here until someone-"

"Take it up with Mac Taylor."

"That was not a fit, it was a controlled release of frustration." She said calmly in her own defense.

"Controlled or not, let's take you home." Mac guided her out after she'd grabbed her purse, putting his hand at the small of her back.

"Those two..." Flack chuckled, shaking his head.

"Say something, Flack?" They both turned.

"Nah...just remember she can't be in any of that kind of physical activity for at least a week." He teased, seeing the two turn bright red.

"Flack!"

Knock! Knock!

"Stella?" Mac was surprised to see his friend standing there with her overnight bag in hand. She'd insisted on going home, despite his rightfully worried protests, and yet here she was.

"Hi...Mac." She smiled faintly. She'd been crying.

"C'mere." He let her in and locked the door behind him. He set her bag and the floor and lead her to the couch.

"I-I...I couldn't go back there. Blood. Blood everywhere." Stella gasped, trying to hold herself together.

"Hey, hey, don't worry. I'm here for you. You don't have to be strong now, I've got you." Mac felt the words spill out of his mouth automatically but not without feeling. Something about seeing Stella, the one who usually kept him together, so upset, didn't seem right. It tore his insides apart, trying to find the heart only a few people knew he had in there. People like her, for instance.

"Mac...I..." She let the tears but still tried to not cry.

"Let go, Stella."

She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. His t-shirt would be soaked but he was okay with that. He was okay with anything if it meant she'd be alright after this. "Mac."

"Sh..." He rubbed her tiny back soothingly and repositioned himself with her to be more comfortable. He lied them down on the couch so that she was laying partly beside partly on top of him, her petite body flush against him in his sweat pants and t-shirt. Her arms were still around his neck as she let out cry after cry of anguish.

"I can't go back yet." She whispered.

He knew how much she'd tried to handle it; wanted to be able to handle it. She didn't want to fear going home. "I'll go with you."

Stella said nothing as her breath finally slowed and stopped leaping out of her throat in hiccups. Her tinted cheeks began to settle back to their olive complection and her curls were falling back into place from how they'd been standing on wavy-end. "Mac."

"Sweet dreams, Stella." Mac kissed her hair before he realized what he was doing and froze. Had he just done that? Had he kissed her? Now, this was Stella, the only woman he'd had as a constant in his life, even through Claire. She was his partner, his confidante, his compadre...lover? Not so much. So then, when did it happen? When had he began to feel such an overwhelming need to protect her from the world that had already treated her so badly? When did he start to feel responsible for her well being in every sense and way? He had no idea. What he did know, was that he clearly hadn't realized it at the time. How he could this have happened? How could he have grown to love his best friend in such a way? He still didn't know. He knew he loved her, but was he in love with her? Part of screamed, Yes, yes, yes!! You're so in love with her everyone knows it but her! The janitor's fifth cousin twice removed and sent to jail knows how much she matters to you. The other part calmly told him that he'd simply gone clinically insane and that he was a man, he heard the call of nature once in a while, and that Stella, although his best friend, was also a beautiful woman so...what? It was scary; being in love, or even just thinking it.

"Milk...honey..." Stella mumbled, sighing against Mac's neck.

He felt heat come to his cheeks as his heart leaped. He knew she liked warm milk and honey since it was her only form of comfort in the orphanage. Whenever she was upset at the office he'd make her some and she'd thank him shyly and invite him to have a sip.

"Sh." Mac put his hand on her back and let himself drift to sleep, leaving the repercussions for later. His eyes closed gladly and Stella's hot breath on his neck and the back of his ear lulled him to sleep. Not even when he was married to Claire had a woman slept so close to him so comfortably. Claire was a snorer and slept facing away from him, often just to steel the covers away. Other women simply...didn't. Stella, though, fit to his side like a glove and seemed very comfortable.

"Night...Mac."

Mac woke up first; to the sound of Manhattan three-in-the-morning-traffic, no less. The light from a car passing below his apartment window flashed into his mind and forced his eyes open. He was about to get up when he found Stella was cuddled up to him. Her arms were now under her head with one stretched out over his hard chest. Her legs were curled up with one hooked with his and her lithe body was curled like a cat's. Her hair was down and a tad frazzled from moving around so much on top of him. A light snoring sound drifted to his ears as her heavy breathing was more than evident. He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped, making his chest and torso vibrate under her.

Stella groaned and hugged his rock hard abdomen closer, nestling her face against his black cotton t-shirt like a kitten would its mother.

"Sorry." He whispered, putting her arm on her shoulder.

"S'okay." She mumbled, though she wasn't really awake.

"I'll wake you in a few hours." He said quietly.

"Lindsay and I are going shopping." Stella grumbled sleepily.

"I'll make sure to get you up in plenty of time. While you girls are out, I'm gonna clean up your apartment a bit."

"Oh, Mac, you don't have to do that." She said with a frown, though her voice was still thick and syrupy with sleep.

"I want to, now go back to sleep Stell. Tomorrow will be better."