Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

In short:

"blah" – English, usually Lili

"blah?" – Russian via Dragunov

I do not own Tekken and its characters, because if I did, Lili x Dragunov would be so canon. I also do not own Transformice… I can't even walljump… I wish I could… They are owned by whoever owns them.

Seven Little Mice

It was just a normal Saturday afternoon with Dragunov roaming the Rochefort household with nothing to do. He wasn't looking after Lili or her father, he definitely was not killing any enemy military spies nor was he avoiding Lili's disturbing attempts of "hooking up" with him… He did none of that today – or to be honest, for the past few days. Lili's presence was strangely… lacking and he had a lot of theories as to what happened to her, most of them including her being either kidnapped or killed; a comforting thought, although if that did happen, it would mean that he had failed his assignment and Sergei Dragunov NEVER failed an assignment, no matter what the cost.

'Maybe… it would not hurt to check on that girl…' he thought while walking, weighing the pros and cons in his mind and soon enough, he was walking down a familiar path and found himself in front of the Monaco princess' bedroom door. A lot of things presented itself in his mind as to why it was quiet… too quiet; which he confirmed when he pressed his ear on the wood and heard nothing at all when he should be hearing girl's giggling and screaming and chatting and a host of other things that made his stomach sick. He kept silent for a few more minutes, trying to focus on finding any sort of sound when he got what he wished for – and he wished he hadn't.

"CHEEEESSSSEEEE~" came the Rochefort's shrill cry, making the Spetnaz take his ear off the door before the banshee could do any further damage to his eardrums.

But, what in Mother Russia's name?

It didn't stop with the cheese thing; Sergei continued to hear Lili squealing about cute little mice and buying them cute little hats and cute little masks with the cute little cheese she had gathered. One more mention of the word 'cute' and Sergei would shoot himself. Was Lili Rochefort, THE Monaco Princess, taking care of pet rats? Rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs - they were all the same to the Spetnaz… things you stepped on, or were those cockroaches? Oh well. Still, if she died because of some vermin carried disease, the Russian would never hear the end of it. So he did what any good bodyguard would do, take out a gun and kick the door down, in case he needed to shoot some rats.

He didn't.

There were no rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs or even cockroaches to shoot. All there was in the room was Lili on her bed, staring intently at her silver laptop; a few furious presses of her keyboard before she pumped her fist into the air and yelled "Cheeeseeee!" once more. There was a tick in the Russian's eye, it was worse than any rat carried disease – the girl had gone crazy… well, crazier than before, in his honest opinion.

What had she gone crazy for?

Keyboard presses, little vermin and cheese… That's what. Maybe the girl hadn't notice him enter the room yet and maybe he had some time to walk away slowly and pretend that this never happened nor did he see this, AT ALL, but when you go breaking down doors, you're sure to get attention.

"Oh hiiii, Draggy-poo; didn't see you there! Did you come to visit me?" she smiled, beckoning him over and patting the cushion next to her… Dragunov's mind screamed at him to run to Russia and never come back, but he was frozen on the spot as if General Winter had followed him all the way to France. This was, definitely, a hundred times worse than any deadly mission he ever had and ever will have; he'd choose to be tied up, gagged and blindfolded with enemy soldiers pointing guns at him within point blank range over this – alas, he was never given the choice.

"What ARE you doing?" Sergei said slowly, because in his eyes, the Rochefort was still a stupid little girl.

"Playing Transformice," she replied with a giggle.

Transformice? …Transformers was that weird American film with alien cars from outer space turning into giant robots and weapons of mass destruction who went to earth for a new home, right? But, Transformice? What was this, France's version of Transformers with weird alien mice from outer space that turned into giant robots and weapons of mass destruction who went to earth… for cheese?

He did a one eighty turn and swiftly said "Goodbye," and almost escaped when Lili ran over to him, glomping (Yes, GLOMPING) him from the behind.

"Don't goooo, Draggy-pooo. It's fun, I'll show you!" she squealed, tightening her hold on the Russian soldier's waist that he thought that this was a lot worse than having the life squeezed out of you in one of those trap rooms with the moving wall and spikes… Yeah; not to mention he had a split second to imagine that the thing holding him was not a girl but a giant Anaconda… He shuddered and was subsequently dragged to the bed, the French girl sitting beside him with the laptop.

On the screen were a lot of small mice scurrying around and getting… you guessed it, cheese. They had top hats, berets and other kinds of hats; some having similar headgears although only one (and later two) had a blue feather and blue face paint on their small mice bodies. Those blue ones seemed to be able to do juju. There were names and what seemed to be titles above their little mice heads. There were names like 'Asukakickass', 'Iluvpanda' and 'Capoeiramazter'; he spotted Lili's mouse immediately… It was named LiliDragunov and had the title Shaman Princess above it. "Aren't they sooo cute?" Lili squealed once more, into his ear, grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him roughly…

Now where was that gun?

"I know! I'll teach you how to play!"

No, seriously, where was the gun?

Lili showed Dragunov how to play; it was easy enough and she even taught him how to make an anvil god while practicing in an empty stage, although he still couldn't jump the wall quickly and soon enough, he was playing on his own with the girl's insistence. "So, what is the point of this?" he asked, giving the girl a glance trying to get himself out of this silly situation and took his hands off the keyboard only for her to grab them and put them back there.

"To get cheese," she answered, as bubbly as before.

"And what is the cheese for?" he added in a dead pan.

Lili rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Flipping her hair, she scoffed, "For hats, for cheese and for glory of course! Everyone knows that, Draggy-poo; you need to get with the times, you know that?"

"And the Shaman?"

"To help the other mice to get hats, cheese and glory, duh."

He blinked, returning his gaze to the screen – he was Shaman this time. And the other mice seemed to be excited for that.

"Pr0 Shmmy! W00t!", "Go Lil!", "SAVE US SHAMMY" and other similar things filled the screen. Dragunov now understood what this meant; their fate was in the palm of his hands… If he wasn't himself, he would have laughed… evilly. There were all on a small island in the middle of the screen, bottomless pits on either side and one little push would kill them all. KILL THEM ALL!

A few clicks and a few anvil later, Lili's eyes went wide only to make Sergei's small smirk get wider.

"OMG ANVIL GOD!"

"Run for it dood!"

"SPARTA!"

There was a smack and Sergei was not allowed to use the Lilidragunov account ever again. "Now they'll blame me! And I was twenty saves away from Goddess Shaman, Draggy-poooo! I hate you!"

Days later, Dragunov had made an account named 'Insovietrussia'.

xDDDD I'm getting addicted to Transformice and with the thought of my two favorite Tekken characters to play them is epic.

If you wanna play with me, drop a message/review here, although I'm just new and I'm not very good. Can't wall jump and I suck at being Shaman. Trying to improve though. xD Username there is Adellpeirce.