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Forgive Me

Chapter one- How could this happen?

Kagome was sitting on a rock, in the forest of Inuyasha covered in Blood and Tears, she was briefly wondering how this could of happened when everything was going so well, but how could she have betrayed Sesshomaru? If Kagome had known that going to see Inuyasha, after four years of living with Sesshomaru in the Western Lands that this would happen she would have never would have see him. She wondered how she could have known that Inuyasha would have done something that vile to her. Even though he had Kikyo, wasn't she like his true love or love for life or some shit like that?

Kagome knew that Sesshomaru's revenge would be terrible but, she couldn't have possibly foreseen what Sesshomaru's revenge would be like, even after Inuyasha did that to her, if he only knew what really happened.

-o-o-o-

-Flashback-

"I promise I will be right back, okay, don't worry so much" Kagome told Sesshomaru. She was just going to tell everyone that she wasn't dead, and she did miss her friends after all this time, she also wanted to see what had become of her beloved friends and everyone else that lived in the village.

Kagome walked down the little path to the village, it brought back a flood of memories back to Kagome, most of them she didn't want to think about, because most of them where like salt on a open wound and the open wound was her heart, Kagome shook her head to get rid of the flood of memories. As soon as Kagome was about a few minutes away from Kaede's hut, she saw the "door" swing open and Miroku ran out and greeted her.

Miroku ran up to Kagome and embraced her in a fierce hug, he really did miss her. "Oh Kagome, we were all so worried about you, after you didn't come back we figured you were either fine and a little sad and went home and never wanted to see us again, or we thought you were dead and then when you didn't come back in a few days we thought you where dead, Sango was in distress she cried for days. The only thing that made her laugh and smile the past years was me."

After Miroku said that, she remembered the unselfish and pure wish she made on the Shikon jewel. She was so happy she could make a pure and an unselfish wish, although she knew the wish was going to break her in more than one way. In a way Kagome felt that the wish was a little impure, but everyone told her that it was the person who was making the wish that had to be pure, of heart and soul.

Kagome wished that Kikyo could come back and be the woman she was before they were both falsely betrayed and before it was staged. Once Kagome saw Inuyasha and Kikyo embrace in love, Kagome knew she had to get away now. Jerking back to the present, Kagome hugged Miroku with a certain fierceness she really did miss him, probably more than he missed her.

"Is sango and everyone else in Kaede's hut?" Kagome asked Miroku, pointing towards Kaede's hut.

"Yes they are all there… do you want to see them?" Miroku asked Kagome, even though he knew her answer was quite obvious.

"Yes" Kagome yelled. As soon as Kagome said it, Miroku grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the hut.

Miroku entered the hut, while leaving Kagome outside. "Guess who is here?" Miroku asked at the top of his voice, making everyone turn and look at him.

Kagome entered the hut and everyone took a breath, it seemed in that few seconds that the whole world took a breath in those few seconds. Kagome studied each one of her friends. What Kagome noticed first, what shocked her; the most was that Sango was nursing a young girl only about a year old, and Miroku looked almost fatherly next to her and the young girl. Suddenly Kagome had tears in her eye.

Kagome wished that she didn't run of when Inuyasha and Kikyo had embraced, she missed so much of her friends lives, and that was something she wished never happened, she wanted to grow up with her friends, she missed Sango's warm hugs and how she could talk to her about almost anything. Kagome missed how Miroku was always perverse, but also kind and caring at the same time.

"Hey where is Shippo these days?" Kagome asked no one in particular. She missed the little Kitsune; Shippo was like a younger brother to her.

"Oh he will be back soon, he found a really nice girl Kitsune who is the same age as him, and they are really close now" Miroku said.

Kagome felt saddened she missed most of her friends lives but, then again with out them going there separate ways she would of never met Sesshomaru and started to fall in love with him.

"So Kagome what have you been doing with your life?" Inuyasha asked while cradling Kikyo in his arms.

"Well I spent the last four years in the western lands" Kagome told everyone while moving around the hut to sit on the edge.

"Wow really? Didn't Sesshomaru try to kill you?" Kikyo asked Kagome.

The second Kagome heard Kikyo's voice she wanted to cry, even though she had her true love in a sense, she still wished she could have been the one in Inuyasha's lap, but she wouldn't betray Sesshomaru just to be with Inuyasha. Sesshomaru may be cold towards her sometimes but its just the way he lived, Kagome knew she had made some impression on him otherwise he probably would of killed her.

"I guess I must have made some impression otherwise I wouldn't be here now would I?" Kagome asked a rhetorical question. Which no one was supposed to answer but, Kagome guessed Inuyasha was stupid enough to answer a question that was never meant to be answered.

"So what kind of an impression did you make on the bastard who is identical to an ice cube?" Inuyasha asked her. He really was a bone head.

"I don't know what do you think?" Kagome asked Inuyasha. Inuyasha just went red. Damn males.

-End flashback-

-o-o-o-

Kagome snapped back to reality and she realised she put her head in her hands so she probably had blood all over her face, and the beautiful kimono that Sesshomaru had especially made for her. Kagome felt like she was going to be sick, Kagome fell over to the side of the rock and threw up, life was going so wrong. She wish she could go back in time, she laughed at the going back in time, unfortunately just to the time that would matter.

Kagome was depressed to say the least; her life was thrown into chaos, everything was falling apart… no had fallen apart, Kagome was afraid to go see Sesshomaru. He thought she did it willingly, no, it was not true. But when Sesshomaru is enraged he wouldn't listen. If only he knew that she didn't want to be with Inuyasha anymore than friends.

Why did life always have to fuck her up? She swore the Kami's where up there laughing their heads of at her. Fate is not kind to her toys. That's all that was going through her mind as she emptied the contents of her stomach and some other things. Once Kagome was satisfied that she wasn't going to throw up or get a dizzy spell or anything like that.

Kagome found that she didn't have the energy to get up, she rolled over on her back in cool grass as the raindrops descended from the heavens to fall on her face and cool her off, Kagome was grateful for the rain washing of the blood but, the silk kimono when wet was awfully cold especially with the wind.

Kagome started crying again, her life was ruined. Kagome decided in that second when she was able to move she would go to the old well and jump through, back to her old time, but then again the last time she tried it didn't work and she had no idea why it wouldn't work but she knew she just had to get away from here even if she was heartbroken.

Kagome closed her eyes and decided that if she just closed her eyes for a few minutes it would all pass her by, it was just a dream, she never really betrayed Sesshomaru, it wasn't her fault, and it was Inuyasha who did it to her. She never wanted to be anything more than a friend or a sisterly figure towards Inuyasha, not someone he would take advantage of.

Kagome closed her eyes, but all she saw was what happened afterwards, after she asked where Shippo was.

-o-o-o-

- Flashback -

Kagome decided that until Shippo came back she didn't really want to hang around all of the love that her friends emitted, and Kikyo and Inuyasha did recognise her, as more than a sister or a friend, her wish was that they where like before the betrayal. Kagome decided that she will confide in Kaede about her wish and how she feels about making the wish.

Kagome left the hut gloomy. Once she pulled back the straw hanging door thing, as Kagome liked to call it. As soon as Kagome stepped outside the hut, the harsh sunlight brushed her face as if she stepped into a room full of light bulbs. It was terrible but she was glad that at least the fine silk kimono would be enough to keep out the heat. The kimono was a beautiful violet purple with an outline of cherry blossoms.

Kagome was glad she at least had something to press against her that she knew, she did know the people in the hut but they weren't the people she remembered. Kagome knew the kimono and the person who gave it to her loved her… even if he didn't show it much, but he has shown it to her more and more over the past four years, maybe its true that she had helped him through the years.

Kagome came out of her thoughts in front of Kaede, she was still the same, but she probably also changed in ways Kagome didn't want to know. Kagome felt like that as soon as she left Kikyo had taken her place and everyone had forgotten her and loved Kikyo, Kagome hated Kikyo in that second and she didn't want anyone to see her like this.

"Kaede I will come back and help you with the herb garden and ask some questions I really need to ask but I will be back" Kagome told Kaede.

"Aye child I will be here" Kaede said to Kagome.

Kagome walked over to the edge of the forest and sat down on the nearest rock that looked comfortable. Kagome knew that Sesshomaru would be there next to her in a few seconds or minutes depending on his mood. She thought it was so cute how Sesshomaru was worried about her but he would never admit it which was unfortunate.

Just as Kagome predicted Sesshomaru was standing there next to her in 30 seconds after she had sat down. Kagome knew Sesshomaru was there, and Sesshomaru was aware that Kagome knew that he was there, but Kagome didn't want to spoil the moment where it seemed like he cared which in his own way he did.

Kagome just lagged against the rock, she knew she would have to get up or say something to Sesshomaru soon but she was just so tired. Before Kagome could even process what to say to Sesshomaru sat down next to her and leaned his head on her shoulder, Sesshomaru was so tired all he wanted lately was to sleep. Kagome almost fell asleep with the familiar comfort of Sesshomaru's aura and the weight of his lovely silver hair.

Kagome started to waver, she was so tired she slipped into a micro sleep, when she woke up she was in a most comfortable and delicious position. Kagome was cradle across Sesshomaru's lap and he looked so peaceful, Kagome didn't want to disturb him this was probably the most comfort and sleep he would have had in the past week. It was most troublesome, the other Lords of the lands had been bickering for hours, and Sesshomaru had to attend the meetings, which were just the other Lords bickering and Sesshomaru wasn't pay attention when it was happening or what was happening.

Sesshomaru wasn't going to move Kagome, this was probably the closest he hand been to her in about a month, it was peaceful and it was just the way Sesshomaru wanted to spend this afternoon with Kagome in silence underneath a tree no interruptions. Sesshomaru let his mind wander and a few minutes later his eyelids grew droopy with sleep, Sesshomaru closed his eyes. A few minutes later he felt a soft and very familiar hand caressing his face, Sesshomaru didn't want to move, this was so much better than a dream.

Kagome was caressing Sesshomaru's face, his cheek was so soft and Kagome couldn't help it, she liked the comforting touch of Sesshomaru's body. Kagome didn't want to wake him, so when his eyes opened up in a slight slit, Kagome stopped caressing his cheek and went to put her hand in her lap along with the other. But before Kagome could put her hand back in her lap Sesshomaru caught it and was slowly raising it to his lips.

As soon as Sesshomaru's lips touched Kagome's hand Sesshomaru couldn't stop kissing her hand, his lips moved to her wrist. Kagome let out a whimper of pleasure, Sesshomaru kept kissing her wrist, he was going to keep moving up until Sesshomaru got to Kagome's lips, but before Sesshomaru could get further than a bit past her wrist Inuyasha and Kikyo walked past them, Kikyo laughed and pointed, Inuyasha looked jealous.

Sesshomaru stopped kissing her, Kagome sighed she didn't want that to happen but she didn't want to walk up and see Kikyo and Inuyasha do the same so it was only fair. Kagome was going to move off of Sesshomaru's lap but she guessed it didn't really matter, Kagome leaned more into Sesshomaru's shoulder.

"Aw look at the little odd couple, two scared to show affection to each other in the company in of others" Kikyo said in the most ghastly manner. Kikyo turned to Inuyasha and put her hands on either side of his face and pulled him into a long passionate kiss. Inuyasha pulled Kikyo down to the forest floor. Kagome didn't want to watch while Inuyasha and Kikyo did stuff that was better done in private. Kagome got up from Sesshomaru's lap, even though she didn't want to, but Kagome grabbed Sesshomaru's hand and pulled him towards where the village was.

"I'm sorry I want you to come and sit with me while talking to my friends, I don't feel like I belong here anymore, and I don't I guess. I think I just belong with you" Kagome was saying to Sesshomaru as she pulled her towards Kaede's hut.

Sesshomaru responded by squeezing her hand, he had already shown too much affection towards her, he would do more to night but for now all she needed was a strong person to carry her through this little challenge of life. He would be her rock, because he refused to show her affection in the company of others, Sesshomaru squeezed her hand.

Kagome and Sesshomaru where inside Kaede's hut, and had been for a few hours, talking to Sango, it was getting late.

"I will be back I just have to check on my daughter… Miroku sometimes falls asleep looking after her the idiot" Sango told them with a smile as she got up and exited the hut.

Kagome looked at Sesshomaru and he just looked like he was going to fall asleep, but then most of the time he looked drugged or just bored, mainly bored.

"Sesshomaru are you okay?" Kagome asked him, while raising a hand to his face. Kagome was always worrying about him.

"I'm fine I just have to go to another meeting… I will be back in a short while" Sesshomaru told her quickly, it wasn't a very important meeting but nevertheless it was one he must attend. Kagome got up and embraced him in a tight hug, He raised his arm to give her a bit of quick comfortable contact and then he was gone.

Kagome was alone in the hut, she would have a talk with Sango until Sesshomaru came back. A few minutes later Sango came in and told her that because Miroku had just come down with a fever she wouldn't be able to talk to her for a while.

Kagome felt saddened that she would be sitting her alone waiting for the one person in the world who truly cared for her. Kagome was briefly remembering the afternoon of how she was sitting in Sesshomaru's lap and how she felt so content been so close to him, she never really had that much contact with him. Lately he had been more arrogant, icy and ignorant maybe it was because she did something to offend him and then Kagome started panicking and trying to think what she could have done to make Sesshomaru act that way towards her.

Inuyasha entered the hut, a few minutes later, and pushed Kagome to the floor, he trapped her wrists, Inuyasha's face was scrunched up in anguish and it hurt Kagome to see Inuyasha that way. But she stopped feeling pity for him when Inuyasha pulled Kagome's kimono up around her hips; Inuyasha ripped of her underwear and pushed himself against her, Kagome started crying, she didn't want to betray Sesshomaru, it would kill her.

"Please Inuyasha don't do this to me" Kagome asked Inuyasha in a sad voice, with tears streaming down her face, Kagome didn't want this, maybe she wanted Inuyasha in a way like this before but she didn't want to be raped. Kagome felt Inuyasha slip inside her, after that everything was just a blur but the only think she remembered was that she asked why Inuyasha was doing this to her.

"Because I don't love you but I do want you in a way that Kikyo can satisfy me, she can satisfy me but you are untouched meat, and I don't want my brother to be the one to have you first, so I decided I will do this to you then, wench you can go back to my brother tainted" Inuyasha explained to her.

Kagome couldn't remember anything that happened until about half and hour later when she was crying, Inuyasha was gone and Sesshomaru stepped through the entry to the hut.

"You stupid wench, I should have never trusted you, how dare you go out and betray this Sesshomaru. This Sesshomaru has been nothing but kind to you" Sesshomaru told Kagome in the iciest voice that he has ever had.

"I didn't betray you, it was Inuyasha he was the one who made me untainted, he did it just to spite you" Kagome said in a sobbing voice she still had tears flowing from her eyes, except that her eyes were swollen and puffy and she was holding her kimono to herself, she just felt so dirty.

Sesshomaru said nothing and walked away. Kagome decided it would be better if she got up and followed him, just so he didn't do anything that would truly hurt him or anyone she cared about.

-o-o-o-

Sesshomaru knew that Kagome would follow him, but he knew what he was about to do would kill her inside, but it couldn't be as bad as the betrayal and the freezing of his heart again, Sesshomaru was pissed off to say the least. Sesshomaru knew he was a fool, how could he trust a human? They are never loyal, Kagome probably wanted to betray him, she never really felt anything for him, she was just weakening him to a false sense of security and waiting for the perfect moment where she would get a knife and plunge it through his heart, metaphorically of course.

Sesshomaru entered the hut where Sango was tending to Miroku and the baby was sleeping, Sesshomaru wanted Kagome to hurt and hurt she would. Sesshomaru withdrew Tokijin, He was going to kill all of them one by one, in the slowest and most painful manner possible, He raised the sword and chopped of Sango's head before she could say anything. The monk was to sick to move, so Sesshomaru just put the sword straight through his heart, Normally Sesshomaru would feel upset for taking the life of a child but tonight he felt like killing everyone wouldn't satisfy him.

Sesshomaru killed the child, even thought he knew Kagome was crying more and begging him to stop, but her voice was just hurting his heart and his mind was blocking the sweet sound of Kagome's voice which would normally stop him from whatever he was thinking of doing, but this time things would be different. The blood went flying and it sprayed onto his haori and some on Kagome's kimono and face.

When Sesshomaru turned around, he was almost gasped by the sight of her, her face was covered in blood, her sapphire blue eyes showing sadness and remorse for her fallen friends and her kimono was half covered in blood, she looked delightfully edible. Sesshomaru shook his head and walked to wear his bastard of a brother and that fucking wench of his was sleeping, Sesshomaru could smell his brother all of his woman, who was no longer his.

Sesshomaru stepped in to their hut, Inuyasha was wide awake and waiting for the blow, which came before he could react, Sesshomaru used his poisonous nails to kill Inuyasha, he figured that if he could have this one kill by his own hand he would be better just a bit. Sesshomaru felt the poison seep through his nails into Inuyasha body, Sesshomaru knew Inuyasha's body would explode if he just kept injecting poison into him. A few minutes later Inuyasha's body exploded in a spray of blood and guts, Kagome was standing next to him and got about as much blood and guts on her as Sesshomaru got on himself.

Sesshomaru was waiting for Kagome to beg him to stop, but he knew Kagome didn't care much for Inuyasha's wench, and Kagome knew that Sesshomaru wouldn't stop even if she begged him. Once everyone in the hut was dead except for himself and Kagome he walked out, and walked to the edge of the village with Tokijin in his hand, he was going to wipe out the entire village but he was going to avoid Kagome.

Once Kagome was standing next to him, Sesshomaru lifted Tokijin and said his battle cry "Dragon Strike" and in two seconds the village was gone, and Kagome was on her hands and knees crying, she kept muttering something, but Sesshomaru hardly gave a care. It pained him to see her this way but he knew she deserved it.

"Now do you understand how much you have hurt me" Sesshomaru icily to her. Sesshomaru put Tokijin under Kagome's very vulnerable and beautifully pale throat, He wasn't going to kill her but he didn't want to give her a departing kiss, the feel of his lips would haunt her for the rest of her life. Sesshomaru went down on one knee and gripped her throat with his hand, and pulled her towards him and planted a very eager and painful kiss on her beautiful pink lips, not only would it hurt her but it would kill him to.

-o-o-o-

Kagome snapped back to reality she still had tears in her eyes and she knew she would not let this hurt her anymore, she would settle things with Sesshomaru and not be a coward and go through the well and escape, she would face her fears. Kagome knew that Sesshomaru would probably beat her or something, but she wouldn't care just as long as could Kagome could tell Sesshomaru that it was wrong that he was treating her like she betrayed him on purpose.

Kagome would tell Sesshomaru the truth if it killed her, she would get it through Sesshomaru's arrogant head that she didn't betray him, well at least on purpose, she never wanted to betray him, she never wanted to hurt him, all she wanted was a happy life with Sesshomaru after all she was in her late 20's, she didn't have much of a life anyway.

Kagome got up and made her body move, her kimono was ripped and she was wet from the rain and she still had some blood on her but that didn't matter, at least she had one thing from Sesshomaru that wasn't fully dead, but it was ruined but she didn't care, she would make her way there if it killed her. Kagome walked through the small village that was no longer there, but there was a bow and a quiver of arrows lying on the ground.

Kagome walked over to them and picked the up, this was going to be one hell of a journey and even when she got to wherever Sesshomaru was she still had to do something to make him listen, and she would figure that out while she was searching for him, she would do this even if it killed her, she didn't want to die while Sesshomaru was mad at her and thinking that she betrayed him.

Kagome secured the quiver on her shoulder and the bow in her hand; she was going to set of on the journey that would change her life and possibly her future. Kagome sighed and reached into where her miko powers were resting, Kagome's aura searched for the familiar aura that comforted her in the past, but now it was wild and angry and it was currently heading towards the south. Kagome sighed this was going to be a long and arduous trip.

Authors Note

Wow 9 pages 4000+ words I really out did myself this time well please tell me what you think please I Love READING YOUR REVIEWS so please review my story please. I can't believe it was that long… well I hope you will want another chapter…Do you? I know I want to write another chapter for you all so please tell me what you think of this story 

Thanks for reading xxx

Lady fluffylova (ha thanks for the name Danwe)