Winnie the Pooh was standing in the 100yard woods waiting for his friend Christopher Robin. The lights above him blinked and the moon was shining. Full as usual. It had been ever since the invasion of sex vampires.
Then he saw something strange. It was scary in a sort of odd, shiny way. It was definately not a heffalump. It was a sex vampire. Winnie the pooh froze in terror. This wasn't the way he had expected to lose his virginity.
The sex vampire landed before Winnie and stared him right into his eyes for then to speak;
"Let me introduce myself." the vampire spoke in a calm, yet distant voice. He was glistening with innuendo and syphillis.
"I am Edward Cullen and I am going to rape you 'till the cows come home"
Winnie the Pooh noticed that the fear was suddenly replaced by perplexion.
"Do you know when they are going to come home?" He asked, stuttering.
Edward's grin was now stretching to the point of explosion danger.
"Late enough." He said, unzipping his trousers.
Then he saw something strange. It was scary in a sort of odd, shiny way. It was definately not a heffalump. It was a sex vampire. Winnie the pooh froze in terror. This wasn't the way he had expected to lose his virginity.
The sex vampire landed before Winnie and stared him right into his eyes for then to speak;
"Let me introduce myself." the vampire spoke in a calm, yet distant voice. He was glistening with innuendo and syphillis.
"I am Edward Cullen and I am going to rape you 'till the cows come home"
Winnie the Pooh noticed that the fear was suddenly replaced by perplexion.
"Do you know when they are going to come home?" He asked, stuttering.
Edward's grin was now stretching to the point of explosion danger.
"Late enough." He said, unzipping his trousers.