Where is the tea?

She had no idea how he got here, or how she was going to get him back.

One morning when she stepped out to get her paper she had found him talking to her roses.

At first she'd sworn she was imagining things, but then he'd walked up and asked her if she happened to have some tea. Dazed and confused, she'd ushered him inside and down the hall to her tiny little kitchen. He sat himself down at the end of her little wooden table and cheerfully gazed around the place. His cheerfullness turned to slight confusion when he saw her try to put salt in his tea cup. "Are you quite alright?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"No, no not really." Alice replied staring at him as she debated whether or not she was sane.

"Well whatevers the matter?!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet and hurrying over to her.

"I think I'm still dreaming..."

He took hold of her chin and turned her head left to right, then up and down.

"Well you seem quite solid" He pinched himself. "And I sure felt that, so you must be awake!"

He grinned at her brightly.

"But I can't be awake! You're here!" she exclaimed knocking over the tea cup.

"Yes, I know I'm here, you're here, we're all here! But I thought we just established that you are indeed awake."

He quickly bobbed down to pick up the tea cup.

"Now look what happened! I need a new tea bag!"

"How can you be thinking about tea!"

"I always think about tea."

"You're mad"

"Well I imagine thats why they call me the Mad Hatter."

Alice was silent for a few moments. She watched as he went through all her cupboards to find the tea.

"Its quite improper to go through other peoples cupboards without an invitation."

He turned around to face Alice as he spoke "Invitation? You make it sound like a party." While he was distracted she shut the cupboard quickly.

"Where the hell is the tea!?" his voice was frustrated.

"The tea is in the pot by the kettle." Alice answered.

"You mean to tell me, that you knew exactly where the tea was, and didn't tell me?"

"Of course I knew where the tea was. This is my house." she retorted.

The Hatter took a moment to glance around.

"You mean you live here?" he asked bewildered.

"Yes."

"What an odd place to live-"

"Mister Mad Hatter! What an awful thing to say!"

He carried on as if he didn't hear her.

"Its so bland, theres no colour at all! Far too much lace." he said pointing to here lacey curtains.

"Mister-"

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ALICE!?" he exclaimed, waving a glove-clad hand in her general direction.

"I am Alice, I've grown up." she sighed looking around he kitchen. "I suppose it is a little bland..."

"My dear, I have seen funerals with more colour."

Alice who was not pleased by this comment scooped up the jar of tea bags and ran from the kitchen.

"Oiii!"