Edit 1/30/14: I wrote this super cracky fic when I was young and stupid. So stupid. So young. I have tried to make it marginally better.

The Hotness of Jimmy Frisbee

We open this scene in a particularly large classroom. But not just any classroom... Oh no, in this particular classroom the teacher was late. Again. Who was this teacher? I'll give you three guesses, and two don't count.

"Kakashi-sensei is late again!"

"Yeah yeah, Naruto, we know already," said Kiba, already bored out of his mind.

Naruto and Kiba were particularly close best friends. But not just any best friends... Oh no, these particular best friends were both in the same band class. A band class where students were chosen to participate in something called District Band. A magical place where students from all different schools come together to play as one amazingly good band of talented children. Touching.

Anyway, Naruto was such a good tuba player that he got first chair out of all of the tubas. Obviously. And Kiba was such a good saxophone player that he got first chair out of every single saxophone. How nice. So they both went to District Band and played their little hearts out, meeting some new people along the way.

"Hey Naruto, do you remember that oboe player we met in District Band? His name was Jimmy, right?" Kiba asked.

"Yeah, what about him?" Naruto replied.

"That guy, was hot."

"Totally."

Yes, Naruto and Kiba both knew that they were gay. It wasn't a big secret. Everyone in the school knew by now.

"Who's hot?" sounded a melodic voice.

The voice belonged to none other than Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto felt his heart rate speed up. Now you may have heard the rumors, but Naruto does not have a crush on Sasuke. He's just totally in love with him. Therefore, Naruto commenced with the practice of blushing and openly staring. He was allowed to stare! How could he not admire the one he so adored?

"I'm going to ask again. Who the hell is so fucking hot?" Sasuke repeated icily.

Sasuke did not like his idiotcalling someone else hot! Well unless his idiot was calling him hot. But that was different. Yes, Sasuke liked Naruto. Isn't it a little bit obvious? Possessive bastard he is.

"Uh-um Jimmy…is hot…" Naruto stammered out.

The redness of his face rivaled that of a tomato.

Now, Sasuke was pretty damn sure that there was no one with the name "Jimmy" at their school. They lived in Japan. What kind of name was Jimmy?

"What kind of a name is Jimmy?"

Naruto looked down and blushed even more. That is to say, if that was possible.

"Uh-ummm…"

Now Kiba, being the fabulous selfless person he is, decided to help him out.

"Jimmy is this totally hot guy from District Band. He's originally from America but his dad got a better job offer and they came here to Japan."

Sasuke's eye twitched violently. Naruto thought this guy was hot? He'd take care of that. All he had to do was find out his full name and then he could sic the local gang on him. Good plan.

"So what is this guy's last name then?" he asked, trying to look innocently curious, but failing. Miserably.

Of course, Kiba was totally oblivious to the fact that Sasuke looked like he wanted to murder him with a spork.

"I think it was… Frisbee? Or something like that anyway. His hotness wasn't only blinding, it was deafening too," Kiba stated, losing himself in the hotness of Jimmy Frisbee.

Sasuke's rage boiled higher. Why wasn't he as hot as Jimmy Frisbee? Why didn't Naruto like him? It was then that Naruto spoke up.

"Um, Kiba? I think he might be mad at you…" Naruto trailed off slowly, quite scared of the creepy aura that Sasuke was emitting.

"Oh, him?" Kiba scoffed, "Psh. He's just upset that Jimmy Frisbee's hair is so much hotter than his."

Sasuke had had enough of it.

He shouted, "Fine! You can all just bask in the glory of your perfect Jimmy Frisbee! What kind of a damn name is that anyway? I'm out!"

Then he stormed away in an angry huff.

Naruto was horror stricken. Did Sasuke really think that he thought Jimmy was hotter than he was? He tore out of there as fast as he could, determined to find his love.

"Sasuke! Wait up, damn it!" Naruto yelled down the hall.

Sasuke just walked faster. He felt totally humiliated.

"Sasuke! Stop being such a little bitch and listen to me already!"

Sasuke finally stopped and turned around. When the blonde caught up with him he looked up at Sasuke and glared.

"What the Hell is your problem?" he shouted, "You just go off into a hissy fit and run right out of the room! I was freaking worried about you!"

Sasuke looked genuinely surprised.

"You were- worried about me?" he asked.

Naruto's entire face immediately turned beet red.

"I…ummm…"

It was in that moment that everything finally clicked. 'He likes me,' Sasuke thought to himself, smirking. Cocky asshole he is.

"Hey loser, are you free this Saturday?"

"Yeah. Why?" Naruto questioned, confused.

"I'm taking you out to dinner," Sasuke stated matter of factly.

"W-what?!"

"I'm picking you up at 8:00 p.m. so remember to dress nicely."

He was about to walk away leaving Naruto gaping after him, but Naruto stopped him before he could revel in his victory.

"Hey um… Sasuke? I just want you to know- that I think you are way hotter than Jimmy Frisbee."

Sasuke turned to smile at him and Naruto smiled right back. They were both happy that they were finally able to confess their love for one another. Er…sort of. Then they each walked away in opposite directions. Sasuke was going to hide in the bathroom until the end of third block. He couldn't go back to class! That would make him look less cool, and Sasuke never looked less cool. Awesome jerk of hotness he is. Naruto went back to the classroom, still daydreaming about what Saturday night would hold.

And of course, Kiba was still marveling over the hotness of Jimmy Frisbee.

How nice.

The premise of this story is based on actual events. Whoever the reviewer is that accused me of re-doing someone else's fic? Like how? Does more than one person even come up with this? Jimmy Frisbee was what the band kids at school called a dude they met like for real don't be a presumptuous jerk.