Nope, I have no excuse, except Inky took much longer on hers. To be quite honest neither of us really have any idea where this is going so itreally falls behind pretty much everything else we are doing (which to be fair is quite a lot at the moment) I do feel guilty though this has been out for a year today (guess why I decided to update) and there still hasn't been a month where someone hasn't favourited or alerted this story, and for that I love you all, honest :)

Don'tsuemeifthisisrubbish.


Boq scowled as he tapped angrily on the keyboard of this 'computer' thing, Glinda had once again not even noticed his attempts at socialising with her. Ok, she had kind of been distracted by the large dent in both Mike's car and the school wall – but surely she'd look to him for comfort now that she had broken up with Fiyero and Edward did not seem to be paying any attention to her or at least he'd better not have – why couldn't she see he was single and willing to…

"Boq!" the sound of wheels moving towards him.

Oh yes, that was why.

"Hi Nessa."

"Hi Boq," she giggled, oh great she's in a giggly mood he thought – even his limited experience with girls he knew that giggling was never good, it meant they wanted something, "you know the party Glinda's putting on, on Friday…"

"How could I have not?" he said instantly, Nessa gave him a look, "I mean it's all she's been talking about for ages, and I think Alice is putting up posters about it around school."

She softened, clearly accepting his (somewhat lame) excuse, "Well, I was wondering, remember how much fun we had at the Ozdust last time…"

Fun? Was that what she called it, watching Fiyero stick his tongue continually down Glinda's throat had been torture for him, and in public too! It was bad enough that Fiyero had taken advantage of Glinda's clearly clouded judgement like that but it was disgraceful for him to push it on anyone else! Of course the situation would be different if he was the one kissing Glinda, but that was an entirely different matter, he and Glinda were made for each other – she just needed a bit of help in seeing that…

"Boq!" Oh Oz, Nessa clearly was not pleased that he did seem to be taking her rather unsubtle hint.

"What? Oh yeah, do you want to go with me Nessa," there went his chances with Glinda, but he had a feeling those wheels would be painful if they ran over his foot.

Nessa smiled, quite content now she had got what she wanted, "so what are you doing Boq?"

He shifted nervously, "I'm just asking a question on this website, it's called yahoo answers, it's not much use…" truly he was starting to question whether there was really intelligent life in this world judging by some of the answers he was getting.

Much to his dissatisfaction Nessa moved closer to the screen, "How do you become a vampire? Why would you want to know that?"

He sighed, truth be told he was getting rather desperate, without the book he had no idea how to find such vital information and for some reason none of the Cullens seemed to be giving him a reasonable answer, or even bothering listening to him. So he'd turned to the internet, which had not been a lot of use, how was, drink lots of blood or die and come back to life or vampires aren't real dumbass! Going to help him on his quest to win Glinda's heart?

"Oooooh," Came Nessa's voice, once again interrupting his thoughts, "I know why you're looking it up! You're doing it for me! You want to become a vampire so you're perfect for me! Well, don't worry about it Boq, I already think you're perfect."

"Yes I was doing it for you," Boq repeated, defeated, shutting down the internet, how was he supposed to get Glinda with Nessa always on his tail?


"Fiyero, Fiyero!"

"…What?"

"Wake up! I mean properly."

"Why?"

"Because we're in class."

"Why do you care we skipped last lesson."

"Yes, but Yero… Fiyero" she snapped, blushing as the nickname accidently came out, "listen to this, I don't think all this science has been discovered in Oz yet, it's amazing, fascinating!"

"Yes, amazing, fascinating," he muttered, she was so pretty when she blushed, not that he was thinking about that of course – he didn't like her in that way – he'd only broken up with Glinda yesterday. No, he didn't like the way her silky black hair shimmered down her back, or how the sunlight made her skin glow, or the way that her eyes shone when something interested her or…

He could hear Edward's exasperated sigh from the other side of the classroom.

"So any further ideas on how we can get out?"

"Shhh, I'm listening, and there won't be any if there's this much undiscovered science over here."

She didn't want to go back? Oh no! I'll be stuck with the vampires and glitter makeup forever! He made the mistake of looking at Edward who was glaring at him once again, lalalala not thinking about anything…


Avaric was sulking, it was all Mike's fault, him and his stupid car with too many pedals. Now he was the laughing stock of the school. How was he to know how fast those cars went, it was an awful lot harder than driving a carriage – not that he had actually driven a carriage – that was servant's work, but still. They should be impressed by him, he was one hundred – one million times more manly than that stupid vampire.

He flicked through the book in disgust, he'd never heard anyone say so many stupidly romantic phrases 'life without you isn't worth living' honestly, either that man – blood drinking manic – was the best liar he'd ever seen or just an idiot and judging by the fact he was paying for their every need Avaric was inclined to go for the idiot notion. He scowled once again when some girls passed him shooting him dirty looks, honestly he smashed up the school and some loser's car – they should be giving him a medal – and several girls of course. Clearly all they saw in Edward was his money, not that that was normally a problem for Avaric either, but the local shops did not seem too tolerant of him giving them Ozian currency, one of them had even had the cheek to call it 'monopoly money'! Avaric had no idea what 'monopoly' was but he was deeply offended. He'd get that Edward back if it was the last thing he did, and he'd start off by getting his girlfriend – and with the book he appeared to have just the right tools to charm her…


Glinda was feeling very proud of herself; she'd finally managed to work out how to make Jessica's video camera work and she was going to make the bestest youtube video ever! She had decided the best way for Edward to reveal his vampire secrets was if she interviewed him straight after school in front of a large crowd of his school friends and everything was prepared. She hadn't actually managed to find a microphone but she had decided her prettiful pink hairbrush would do just as well and as an added bonus could sort out any loose curls! The plan was fail proof.

After what seemed like hours (but was actually only a matter of minutes) the school bell went and Edward exited the building. He caught site of Glinda, her hairbrush and the camera and quickly tried to run the opposite direction.

"Hey! Don't go using that super vampire speed against me!" She called, annoyed.

Edward watched hopelessly as the heads of his fellow pupils began to turn, "super vampire speed, what's she talking about?" he sighed defeated and came towards her.

"What do you want?"

"I was hoping you'd tell us all about your life as a vampire," replied Glinda unfazed.

"I'm not a vampire," Edward said bluntly, aware of the crowd already beginning to form.

"Oh, I think you are, you're super fast, super strong, seventeen again and again and again and you sparkle in the sun?"

"I'm not any of these things," Edward replied quickly, "and sparkle in the sun, what vampire does that."

"Stupid ones," he heard Fiyero mutter from somewhere in the crowd.

"Fine, be a meaniepoo like that," Glinda muttered, "tell us about your undying love for Bella Swan then."

"What?!" he spluttered.

He was not the only one, cries of, "hey she's mine!," and "How come Cullen gets her?" could be heard emanating from half males in the courtyard despite the fact that no one still quite seemed to know what made her so popular with people.

Bella stood frozen.

"Oh come on," said Glinda cheerfully, everyone knows you love her, you even try and kill yourself when you think she's dead and then you have the most adoriblifyed baby…

Bella fainted.

Somewhere in the heavily amassing crowd Elphaba groaned, repeatedly smacking her forehead.

"Are you ok?" Fiyero asked her, concerned.

"Next time, remind me not to take any of you lot out of the asylum."


By DeeplyShallow

Trust me, when you take time zones into account this is uploaded exactly a year after the first chapter – I just can't be bothered to wait any longer. Woooo not my turn to write now!