New fic, what? ha. Portlyn has always been so interesting to me, because for some reason, I think she has potential to be one of the smartest on the show. Not my best, as I typed it in literally like 15 minutes, but i hope you enjoy it anyway. and make sure to leave me some feedback in the form of a review :]

Disclaimer: I don't own portlyn, sonny, chad, or anyone else mentioned in this story. i do however, own this plotline.

Contrary to popular belief, Portlyn is not as stupid as she seems.

Sure, she spilled Chad's plan to ruin So Random!... to the cast of So Random!. Sure, she killed 6 fish in a row... because purple glitter looked much cuter in the fish tank than actual fish food. Sure, she got 0/5 right on an English test… because really, who needs to know about nouns and pronouns and all that useless stuff?

But that doesn't mean she's stupid.

She sees the way Chad walks huffily back to the set of McKenzie Falls. She sees the way he glares at everyone, as if each person in the room had personally insulted him. She sees the anger in his eyes as he makes a beeline for his dressing room and slams the door.

She also sees the yellow splotch on the back of his pants, as if he had sat on paint.

Sighing, she knocked on his door. "Chad?"

"Go away!" He yelled, and she could almost feel the irritation emanating from him, even through the closed door.

"What happened? Do you want to talk?"

"Tell whatever-her-name-is, the person in charge of costumes, that I need new pants, and then go away!"

She sets off, mostly because an angry Chad Dylan Cooper is never a good one to hang around too long. She asks around, they tell her Joan ('whatever-her-name-is's name) is in the cafeteria. So, okay, she goes to the cafeteria.

She sees that brunette from So Random! – what's her name? Bonnie? – laughing with her group of losers, sees her holding up a small bottle of yellow acrylic paint.

OH, Portlyn thinks, I get it.

When she brings the pants to Chad's dressing room, she says nothing. Chad doesn't either.

It's a few days later when Chad comes back to the set of McKenzie Falls, even more enraged than before.

This time he doesn't just settle for dirty looks and slamming doors. By the time he's safely in his dressing room, he's managed to break a vase of flowers and make two cast members cry.

And really, Portlyn thinks, that's not right. Chad Dylan Cooper is mean and conceited, but he's not heartless.

Portlyn makes it her mission to figure out what is going on.

"Must you?!" Chad yelled when Portlyn knocked on the door. "Can't you see I'm not in the mood?"

Instead of answering back, Portlyn pulls a bobby pin out of her hair and picks the lock. She walks into Chad's dressing room, silently closing the door.

Chad is furious. "Portlyn, how stupid can you be, seriously? Stop trying to butt into everyone's lives all the time! I swear, you're like a fly or something, always buzzing around, trying to catch all the gossip…" This continues for some time.

Portlyn sits quietly while Chad is yelling at her. Finally, she asks quietly, "What happened this time?"

Chad glares at her, and Portlyn almost gives up. He sighs and answers, "Never you mind. It's nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing."

"Well it was. Chad Dylan Cooper does not have problems."

"Was it Bonnie again?"

Chad looks puzzled. "Bonnie?"

"Brunette, happy, hippie, judging from that peace picnic she tried to have-"

"Her name's Sonny."

"Whatever. Was it her?"

Chad looked away, refusing to answer.

Portlyn rolled her eyes. She wasn't having any of that. "What did she do this time?"

Chad sighed again. "If you must know, we had a fight."

"Really."

"Yes, really."

"Care to elaborate?"

"She told me I was a jerk."

"Because…?"

"I have no idea!" Chad ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "All I said was that she could do better than So Random!."

"Why on earth would you tell her that?"

Chad was silent for a moment. "I don't know." He ran his fingers through his hair again, but this time more out of confusion than frustration.

OH, Portlyn thinks. I get it.

Portlyn puts her hand on Chad's shoulder. "We have a few minutes until we start filming again. Try and pull yourself together long enough to get through it."

She walks out, leaving Chad to calm himself down.

Portlyn's not an idiot. She sees what's happening, even if Chad doesn't. But she smiles to herself as she applies more lip gloss. He'll figure it out eventually.

Chad is back to his usual self for the next few days. He's looking at himself in the mirror all the time, he's bossing everyone around. His acting has gotten much better, and everyone is starting to loosen up around him again.

But something's different, Portlyn notices. Chad's stopped disappearing randomly from the set. He's spending all his free time inside his dressing room. And he hasn't mentioned any of the "Random"ers at all.

Portlyn is confused for all of five minutes before understanding. OH, she thinks. I get it.

She waits for the inevitable.

"Where's Chad?" Someone asks a few days later, and that catches Portlyn's attention.

"I saw him walk off the set a few minutes ago," someone else answers.

Portlyn's eyes go wide, and she gets up to try and warn everyone to take cover.

Chad walks in, livid.

Too late, she thought, sitting back down, and she braces herself for the hurricane.

Chad doesn't disappoint. It takes all of thirty seconds before someone is threatening to get the security guard in there to sedate him. Chad yells a few seconds more before, once again, retreating to the comfort of his dressing room.

Portlyn gets up. Someone grabs her arm.

"Are you crazy?" Joan whispers. "Do you want to die?"

Portlyn shrugs.

Joan shakes her head in disbelief and lets go. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Portlyn says.

"No girl, I think you're an idiot sometimes."

And really, that's just rude. But Portlyn is a girl on a mission, and right now, Chad needs someone to talk to.

Portlyn knocks on the door again. "Chad?"

Silence.

Portlyn knocks again. "Chad, open the door."

Silence.

Portlyn gets worried. She picks the lock with her bobby pin and steps inside, closing the door behind her. The lights are off; she flicks them on. "Chad?"

Chad's huddled in a corner, his knees drawn up to his chest. His hair is messy, his face is red.

And there's tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Go away," he whispers, but he can't manage to infuse any sort of anger into his voice.

"What happened?"

"Go away." He wipes at his tears, getting up and heading to the mirror. He starts to fix his hair.

"Chad," she whispers. She gets it. He's embarrassed to be seen at his worst. So she turns around. "Better?"

Chad looks over at her, sees her back to him. He rolls his eyes but appreciates the effort.

"What happened, Chad?"

Instead of answering, Chad asks her a question. "Portlyn, what do you think of Michael Carter?"

Portlyn is confused. "Michael Carter? The comedian?"

"Is there another Michael Carter you know?"

Portlyn thinks. "What exactly do you want me to say?"

"Do you find him attractive in any way?"

Well, that question throws Portlyn off. She thinks for a second. "He is pretty attractive."

"Sonny Munroe seems to think he is, as well." Portlyn turns around, sees Chad glaring at the mirror, his hands balled up into fists.

OH, Portlyn thinks. I get it.

She pretends to be clueless. "How do you know that?"

"She told me. He's a guest star on an episode of So Random! this week."

"What did you say?"

"I said there's no way. I told her she had bad taste. Then she started yelling at me and telling me I'm a conceited jerk. Again."

Portlyn is quiet.

Chad starts talking again, this time more to himself. "Why do I even bother going over there? All we do is fight."

And Portlyn has to laugh at that. Because, oh my god, how can you not?

Chad whips around, his eyes angry. "You find this amusing? Maybe you are an idiot after all."

Portlyn snorts. "Me? You're the idiot. You really can't see it?"

The angry glint in Chad's eyes turns to one of bewilderment. "See what, exactly?"

"Chad, you love her." Chad stares at her blankly, and really, Portlyn has to laugh again. "Are you serious? You didn't know? As much as you two argue, you love it. That's why you keep going back. That's why she's the only Random that's not on the wall. That's why, when she insults you, you're angrier than when anyone else does. That's why you almost got tranquillized a few minutes ago – you were so angry that she found someone more attractive than you."

"I get angry when anyone thinks someone is more attractive than me."

"But did you go ballistic when I said I found Michael Carter attractive? No. Only when Sonny said it."

And Portlyn can't stop laughing, because who's the idiot now?

"Chad," she continued, "You're only really angry after you come back from their set. Remember the past few days? You hadn't gone there at all. But when you did, this happened. And you knew it would happen. I even knew it would happen- maybe not necessarily the fact that you'd be so crazy jealous, but I knew there was going to be another fight. But you went anyway, because you love her! You love Sonny Munroe! And you don't even realize it!"

Portlyn leaves the dressing room, still laughing up a storm. Everyone looks at her like she's insane.

Chad stands there, dumbstruck. "What?" Because there's no way Portlyn could have come to that conclusion on her own. She had to have had help from someone else. Portlyn couldn't be that smart.

But Portlyn's not an idiot. She gets it. Maybe she doesn't get useless stuff like English or feeding fish, but she gets love, because that's important stuff right there.

Portlyn passes by Sonny, who is standing there in the doorway of the McKenzie Falls set as if she's looking for someone. Smiling, she walks up to her. "Looking for Chad? He's in there." She points toward his dressing room, where the door is still ajar. "And between you and me, I heard that the Bahamas are a great place to have a wedding. Don't forget to make me a bridesmaid."

She winks at Sonny, who's standing there with her mouth open in shock, before walking away.