Short one shot, just thought it would be funny.

It's probably crap, but see what you think :P

"SHIT!" The Doctor yelled, as monstrous beings came sauntering out of the trees ahead, wielding deadly spears that glistened with blood in the blistering sun.

They were dead meat.

They were known to show no mercy.

But Rose didn't notice, she'd turned to glare at the Doctor.

"Hay, you don't swear." She accused. "You never swear!"

The Doctor blinked.

"Err, Rose, just in case you hadn't noticed, we're about to be impaled on the end of their weapons, and you're more concerned with my use of vulgar words?"

Rose pouted.

"Yeah, well, you don't swear!"

"Rose..."

"Well you don't!"

"Fine I... Hay, wait, yes I do!"

"You do not!"

"I do!"

"You do not!"

"I do too!"

"Not!"

"I DO!"

"And I say; you do NOT!"

"I do! I swear all the time!"

"Oh yeah, like when?!"

"Last week, when we running away from those pterodactyls!"

Rose snorted.

"Doctor, 'oh my god' is NOT swearing!"

"I didn't say that!"

"YES, you did."

"I did not!"

"You SO did!"

"I do NOT recall shouting 'OH MY GOD' on sight of those vicious..."

"Flying Dinosaurs?"

"Yes! I mean NO!"

"Doctor, I distinctly remember you turning around, looking at the sky, and SHRIEKING at the top of your lungs... OH MY GOD!!!"

"I did not!!! ... Well, I MIGHT have said that..."

"HA!"

"BUT! I did swear afterwards! You know I did!"

"You did not! Doctor, just accept it, you don't swear." Rose insisted. "You don't say FUCK, you don't say CRAP, you don't even say BOLLOCKS or SHIT...."

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY FIVE SECONDS AGO?!"

"Yeah, well, one off, doesn't mean you swear."

"I still SWORE!"

While they bickered on, the aliens pointing their spears at them exchanged looks of bewilderment.

"What are they doing?" One asked another. The other one just shrugged.

"Err, you're coming with us." The alien said weakly, waving his spear around. "Or you're like... dead."

"Yeah, can you give us a sec? I do SWEAR!" The Doctor argued, ignoring the spectators.

"NO! No you don't!" Rose was poking him viciously in the torso now and glaring more evilly than any demon the Doctor had ever faced.

Any minute now the infamous Tyler slap would be unleashed upon him...

"I do!" The Doctor yelled. "And you know what? You don't! I have NEVER heard YOU swear Rose Marion Tyler!!!"

Rose's jaw dropped.

"WHAT?! You know I do!"

The Doctor looked away stubbornly, pouting.

"No you don't."

"I grew up on an estate, Doctor, EVERYONE swears!"

"Yeah, well, you don't, you're too innocent."

"Too… INNOCENT?!"

Rose was starting to get pretty pissed off now.

"What would you know?!"

"I know YOU!"

"Well I know you too, and if anyone here is innocent and naive, it's YOU!"

"Don't be ridiculous! I go around saving planets and civilisations! How could I possibly be naive after all the things I've seen?!"

"Well you don't SWEAR!"

"YES I DO!" The Doctor yelled. "YES I FUCKING DO YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

SLAP!

The sound cracked the air like a whip

And The aliens recoiled in horror and shock!!!

"SWEET JESUS!" One squealed. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

In five seconds flat, the once composed mass of thuggish, gruelling alien monstrosities had become a horde of shrieking children!

Within a matter of seconds, the Doctor and Rose were alone in the clearing.

The Doctor began rubbing his cheek, as Rose dusted off her palm on her shirt.

"Well... that's one way to escape from almost certain death." Rose remarked with a grin, before examining the Doctor's cheek, on which was imprinted a blazing red hand mark.

"Yes but, erm... perhaps... perhaps we should use a different 'strategy' next time..."