Trouble Comes in Small Packages

S J Smith

Rating: …teenish? For language.

Summary: Al thinks Winry needs a new pet.

Disclaimer: Sekritly at night, I dress in a cow suit and fight crime. Not.

Warning: Goofiness abounds. lAnd…um…crossovers.

A.N.: Thanks to D. M. Evans for listening as I wrote.

* * *

"Brother." Alphonse's voice had that wheedling note to it that Edward knew all too well. His brother was going to beg to keep something he found – a kitten, a Xingese prince.

"Put it back, whatever it is." Edward didn't even turn around this time. He knew better. If he looked, his little brother's pleading eyes would make him cave and he was not going to cave this time.

"But it's," Al grunted. "Little." Al grumbled. "And," he grunted again, "needs us."

Curiosity got the better of Ed and he glanced over his shoulder. And found himself spinning around in surprise. "What the hell is that thing?" He stabbed his finger at the creature sagging in Al's arms. There was something inherently wrong with it, with its beady black eyes, so large in its face; its weird, bulbous nose; its clawed paws and huge, notched ears that flicked at Ed at the sound of his voice, the tips of them sagging pitifully by the time he finished talking. "Al, put that thing back where you found it."

"But Brother…" Alphonse adjusted his grip on the thing, hefting it up against his chest. "Winry needs a new dog."

Edward agreed that Winry did need a new dog. It had been nearly a year since Den hadn't woken from a nap and it was time for another family dog. But, "I don't think that's a dog, Al." Edward wasn't sure what it was, really, but those black eyes made him nervous. "I think it's a chimera."

That made Al hold onto the thing even tighter. "Then it really needs a home, Brother."

When Alphonse locked his arms like that, there wasn't any way Ed could argue. Well, he could, but he knew he'd already lost the fight. "Fine. You tell Winry you picked that…thing up."

"She'll love him." Somehow, Alphonse managed to cuddle the weird looking thing, and started the long walk back toward the Rockbell house, Edward following him, shaking his head.

* * *

"…What is it?" Pinako stared at the thing as Alphonse set it on the floor, giving it a pat on its rump.

"A dog." Remaining next to it, Alphonse grinned hopefully at Pinako. "The house needs a dog."

"Al, that's…not a dog." Pinako walked a little closer, leaning over to get a better look at the animal.

It sniffed at her pipe, dangling from her mouth. "Eeyallgh!" Wincing, it snatched the pipe and tossed it across the room.

"Alphonse."

Thoroughly pleased Pinako's ire wasn't directed at him, Edward couldn't help but be spooked. Had that thing used its paws like hands? "Al…that…thing…."

"He's new. He doesn't know the rules yet." Alphonse scurried across the room to grab Pinako's pipe and return it to her. "He'll learn, Granny, I promise."

"Hmmph." That definitely meant the thing was on Pinako's wait and see list. "I suppose you'd better see if Winry likes it." Her dour expression said she hoped Winry wouldn't.

"You'll learn, won't you?" Alphonse scratched the creature between the ears, making it loll its head back. "You'll be a good boy."

"Who'll be a good boy? Ed?" Winry's voice preceded her into the room. "C'mon, Al, I don't believe that."

"Hey!" Edward folded his arms, glowering as Winry came through the door. She rumpled his hair much the same way Al was scrubbing the dog-thing's head. Ed understood completely the animal's expression. Hell, he'd start thumping his foot on the floor if Winry kept doing that. She drifted on past him, though, not before patting his stomach, but making her way to Alphonse and her potential new pet. "Careful, Winry. That thing may bite."

"Aw," Winry knelt down with Al, offering the thing her hand to sniff. "Hi there, little guy."

Those black eyes stared at Winry; blinked slow. Suddenly, its face split in an inhuman grin. "Higgggggh."

Edward yelped, jumping back. "Winry, don't let it near you. It's probably got rabies."

"Oh, Ed." She shot him a glare over her shoulder as that thing crawled into her lap. "He's a good boy." Winry rubbed its head and it sprawled, belly up, making strange little purring sounds. "You're a good boy, aren't you?"

"I knew you'd like him, Winry." Oh, Edward wanted to kick that gloating tone out of his little brother's voice. "What are you going to name him?"

"I'm sure we'll think of something." Winry tickled the thing's belly, making it kick and squirm.

"Trouble works," Edward muttered, hearing Pinako snicker in response.

* * *

The little creature rolled over in his bed, a warm little nest in Winry's room. This was a good place, he decided. He thought he'd have fun here. Stretching out his limbs, he let the two hidden arms pop out, his antenna rising out of his skull. With a little chuckle, he squirmed into the blanket. Tomorrow, he'd start looking for left shoes to hide and major cities to destroy.

A.N.: I started the chimera prompt three times for fma_fic_contest at live journal. This is the one that insisted on finishing. I know. I know. Not really a chimera. Well…yeah, he kinda is. So. Apologies to Arakawa and Disney Studios…but I've been wanting to do this for a long time now.