Dreaming

Life isn't perfect.

That's a given and we all know it or are at least on our way to knowing it (well, Cream might be an exception but if that's the case, I envy her). We're all born innocent, living out our dreams through nothing but our imagination. Even now I still remember them. Knights in shining armour riding magnificent stallions, x and y automatically being compatible in a fairy tale utopia. You dreamt of what life would be when you grew up, about how you'd find your Prince Charming (or he found you, either was fine), how you'd live happily ever after in the real world, yet without the shortcomings of reality.

As you grow up, this mirage of deception slowly starts to fade. Remnants of your dreams still exist and in some cases, never fade away. You're still capable of dreaming but deep down, you begin to realize that these dreams will never come true. Not because of any inherent flaw on your part, or on anyone else's for that matter. Rather, it comes from the fact that life isn't perfect. The world isn't perfect. People aren't perfect and as time goes by, as you begin to hear more and more about events on South Island and the Death Egg, this fact hits harder than ever. The horrible things that a single man is capable of...what if the self-proclaimed ruler of this world wasn't an exception to the rule?

And then it happened. A tarot card showed me the way.

In an instant, it all came rushing back. My childhood dreams, my impossible desires...I was to meet him. At Never Lake, in conjunction with the yearly appearance of the Little Planet. I was to meet the hedgehog of my dreams, the one who I'd had a crush on ever since news spread of his adventures against Robotnik. Oh, and yeah, he was pretty handsome too and although he was running up the chain to the Little Planet by the time I reached the lake, I could see that my initial perception of him hadn't changed. And despite his speed, despite the Little Planet overrun by badniks and somehow shifting through different timeframes, I eventually caught up with him.

He never looked at me twice.

Well, perhaps he did, but I think the second time was more akin to him looking at his metallic doppelganger rather than yours truly, clutched in his steel grasp. The first time was a mixture of surprise, unease and general indifference. After all, he had a world to save and defeat the Eggman, keeping the Time Stones out of his grasp. And although he rescued me at Stardust Speedway, it was clear that he had other things on his mind. Robotnik still had to be defeated after all and dropping me off back on the surface and running off immediately afterwards, it was apparent that I didn't rank too highly on his list of priorities.

I didn't mind. I enjoyed a challenge.

I thought to myself that there was no rush. I knew from the start that we were meant to be, that the stars themselves had ordained us to be a couple just as much as my tarot cards. He was a hero and it was his duty to protect all free folk from being stuck inside robots by some madman with weight issues. I 'knew' at the time that he loved me, but just wasn't ready to admit it yet.

Such admittance hasn't come however.

I only catch fleeting glimpses of Sonic and when I do, it's always in the midst of something larger. Something important. Something that sends any possible reciprocation of feelings to the sidelines while we do everything from saving the world (many times) to participating in air board races. Some things have changed, but the status quo between us hasn't. I know my feelings are real, but also know that as time goes on, they're increasingly less likely to be reciprocated. Life isn't perfect after all. If it were, he would have done something romantic all those years ago at Never Lake rather than continuing on his own path without a second thought. If life were perfect, Robotnik would have been defeated ages ago (before he prevented us from using "Eggman" as an insult) and I'd be safe in the knowledge that chasing after the fastest thing alive wasn't fated to be interrupted. Some dreams are never meant to be.

But that doesn't mean I keep trying.

Sonic has never given me the thing I seek most, but he has given me so much more. Watching him do the things he can do, counting how many times he has saved me and others in the face of impossible odds. I've finally realized how he is a quintessential of a paradox. On one hand, he is a symbol of a dream that will never come true, of unfulfilled love. But showing how anything is possible, how nothing is insurmountable, he has given me something else. Something that for most people is lost with time but for me, will never fade...

The ability to dream.

And I can live with that.

A/N

A few liabilities taken I guess, in that I don't think Amy will be taking a hint about Sonic not wanting to settle down any time soon. Still, for the record, I'll state clearly here that I see Sonic CD as occuring after the creation and destruction of the Death Egg rather than before, which seems to be the norm.