Let's see if I can't kick my writer's block in the ass. I have had the opening bit of this in my head for so long, the dialogue at least, and have wanted to just skip the last chapter of Feral to write this. But I was a good author and went in order, cuz I would have forgotten about Feral…

Disclaimer: I own the OCs but not the Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

Warning: reference to sexual activity, mpreg, embarrassed Sephiroth, Zack and Zacky, minor swearing, and some Zack abuse.

Songs: 24 by Jem, Si Loin de Vous by Nadya.

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Zack held the small chocolate haired boy at arm's length, carefully taking in the messy spikes in his hair, curious glint in his pale green eyes, and the flicking chocolate ears on top of his head. The small child seemed to be assessing the large male holding him as well, occasionally glancing back at his siblings sitting on the floor watching the exchange. Off to the side, Cloud was watching his best friend inspect his son, tail swinging behind his body in a slightly jerky fashion. Leon was sitting on the couch next to his unhappy mate, his ears distinctly disinterested. Sephiroth stood a few feet away from his own mate, one ear swiveled back while the other was alert for whatever Zack was about to do. The brunets made eye contact once again and twin smirks crossed their faces.

"I'm keeping him," Zack announced, hugging the child to his chest, his spiky black tail wagging happily. He smiled when the chocolate haired child giggled and reached up to grab at the puppy ears on top of the older male's head.

"No, you are not," Sephiroth said, plucking the child away from his mate and handing him back to a bristling Cloud who immediately began to fuss over his son.

"But I want him," Zack pouted, casting well practiced puppy eyes at his blond friend.

"Bite me," Cloud said airily, sitting next to Leon and settling his son between himself and his mate, "Zacky is not going anywhere with you."

"Fine," the raven haired male whined, shoulders slumping dramatically, "I'll just abduct your daughter."

"Bad Puppy," Sephiroth said, smacking his mate on the head with a magazine from the table next to the couch.

"Stop doing thaaaaat," Zack groaned, "Just because I have actually dog features doesn't mean you get to treat me like one!"

"I did that before you got the ears and tail. Besides," the silver haired male leered down at his mate, "You like it when I ri-"

"CHILDREN!" Zack yelled, jumping to clamp his hand over his mate's mouth, tail rigid as his eyes turned towards the toddlers on the floor and couch.

"Ah fuck," the small silver cat eared girl on the floored muttered, picking at her shirt absently.

"Did…did Cissnei just swear at me?" the raven haired male asked.

"Yeah she does that," Leon shrugged.

"Cid has apologized for our children's first words being fuck (1), shit, and tea," Cloud said, leaning forward to pluck his daughter and son off the floor, "But you have to admit that it fits their personalities."

"My little Zacky wouldn't do that now would he?" Zack cooed, leaning down to ruffle chocolate spikes.

The small child giggled happily, reaching up to grab black puppy ears. "Shit!" Zacky chirped.

"Zacky!" the older brunet gasped, "My little angel shouldn't do that!"

"First off," Cloud growled, "He's mine. Second, he ain't an angel. Third, he just did and will again in a few seconds."

"Bitch!" Zacky said happily, bouncing in his seat between his parents.

"Haven't you two tried to stop this behavior?" Sephiroth sighed, leaning against his living room wall.

"It just makes it worse," Leon said, "Plus Cid just teaches them new curse words when we get them to stop with one."

"You are by far the worst parents I have ever seen," the silver haired male sniffed.

"No we aren't," Cloud said defensively, "Hojo was."

"He does not count as a parent, he was a monster in the disguise of a human with a fetish for pain and suffering," Sephiroth responded.

"True," the blond said, "But he still took on the main role in raising you, so we aren't the worst, we're just in the top ten."

"At least you admit it," the silver haired man muttered.

"I would be an awesome dad," Zack said, plucking Roxas off Leon's lap, "I'm great with kids, yes I am!"

Roxas giggled as he was spun around, fluffy blond tail spinning behind him. "Za-za!" he squealed as he was tossed in the air.

"I'm Za-za now huh?" the brunet asked, nuzzling the small blonde's head, "I like it!"

"Well too bad you'd be the mom," Sephiroth smirked.

"Fiiine," Zack amended, "I'd be a great mommy."

"And Seph would be the scariest dad ever," Cloud deadpanned.

"I would not," the silver haired male sniffed, "And we'll never find out anyway, we're not having children."

"What?!" Zack spun around, clutching Roxas to his chest, "But I want a baby!"

"You don't need a baby," Sephiroth responded.

"But I want one."

"We are not having a baby."

"Yeah you are," Leon interjected, smirking widely.

"No we are not," Sephiroth responded, "We use protection."

"I'm poking holes in them!" Zack yelled.

"Then I'll put them in a lock box and only take them out when I'm going to use one."

"Kind of late for that," Leon said, "Or haven't you smelled yourself lately Seph?"

"What are you talking about?" the silver haired male's voice was dangerously low.

"You mean you can't tell?" the chocolate haired male's ears perked forward slightly, "Well you might want to take a trip to see Merlin then."

"Zack, you're seeing Merlin today," Sephiroth said, taking Roxas from his mate's grasp and returning him to his mother.

"Not Zack," Leon said.

"What?" both Zack and Sephiroth said in unison.

"OH MY GODS!" Cloud screeched, "YOU BOTTOMED! UKEROTH!"

Sephiroth had gone stock still, his ears forward, tail bristled, and eyes wide. Zack kept looking between his mate and an absolutely ecstatic Cloud before finally moving towards the larger male. Carefully the brunet sniffed Sephiroth, dutifully dodging the swipe his mate aimed at his head. "I'M GONNA BE A DADDY!" Zack squealed, jumping up and down as his tail went wild.

"You are never topping ever again and if I have triplets, so help me Gaia, I will end you," Sephiroth growled.

"I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!" the brunet yelled again, embracing his prickly mate.

"I don't even know if I'm keeping it," the silver haired male said, "If Leon isn't lying that is. We'll go to Merlin and get it confirmed before you get all excited."

"You…you wouldn't keep it?" Zack pouted, his eyes wide as he gazed up at his mate, "You would kill the symbol of our love?"

"It's not the symbol of our love, it's a parasite," Sephiroth said, "It's also completely unnatural."

"If you were going to go with the natural order of things, then Zack would be dead," Leon pointed out before flinching at the burning gaze being directed at him by both his mate and Sephiroth, "I'll just shut up now."

"You do that," Cloud said.

"You are not killing our love baby!" Zack declared.

"It is not a love baby," Sephiroth hissed, "And if I want an abortion then I will damn well get one."

"Abortion!" Roxas said from his mother's embrace.

"Oh great," Cloud groaned, "Another wonderful addition to their vocabulary. Look, if you two are going to fight about this, we're going to leave, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever," Sephiroth said, his eyes on his severely distressed mate.

"I want a baby!" Zack whined, "You are not getting rid of our baby!"

Sephiroth sighed and pursed his lips, waiting for Cloud and Leon to cart their children out of his home before continuing. "Zack, I have a certain image that I need to portray. Being pregnant would interfere with the 'fear me' image."

"You don't love me," Zack cried, his violet eyes brimming with tears, "You want to kill the baby we made together."

"Of course I love you," Sephiroth said, eyes going wide as he rushed forward to console his distressed mate, "Don't cry!"

"Have my baby then!"

"Okay, just don't cry."

"Pro-promise you won't kill our love baby," the brunet sniffed.

"I promise, just don't cry."

"Yay!" Zack jumped up and down happily, all traces of tears vanishing in an instant.

"I can't believe I fell for that again," Sephiroth sighed.

"Yeah, I keep wondering how long that's going to work," the raven haired male admitted sheepishly, ears flicking back.

"I might not even be pregnant," the larger male said primly, tail swaying slight as his ears tilted to the side with disinterest.

"You smell pregnant," Zack muttered.

"Well I refuse to believe that I have a parasitic infant inside me until Merlin confirms it."

"Love baby," the raven haired male corrected.

"It's a parasite until I say otherwise," Sephiroth growled.

"Love. Baby."

"Get your shoes on so we can go see Merlin," the silver haired male muttered.

"Looooooooove babyyyyyyyyy," Zack cooed as he skipped away to find his boots.

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An hour later the pair was sitting in an examining room at the new Radiant Gardens medical center, a far too happy, in Sephiroth's opinion, wizard in front of them. "Congratulations!" Merlin cried as he clapped his hands together, "You're having a baby!"

"Our love baby exists!" Zack yelled as he hugged his mate's head.

"I HAVE A PARASITE IN ME GET IT OUT!" Sephiroth cried.

"You promised," Zack said.

"Oh fuck you," the silver haired male groaned.

"Promised."

"Fine, I'll have the freaking parasite."

"Love baby."

"I'm just going to go now," Merlin said, edging away from the fuming Sephiroth.

"Not until you tell me how many parasites I have you don't," the ex-General growled.

"You only have one kuppy in there," the wizard said.

"Kuppy?" Zack cocked his head to the side slightly.

"Well I figure since you're the father puppy would get the larger part of the title, but since Sephiroth technically has cat features there would have to be some part of kitten in there as well. Kuppy," Merlin explained.

"Our love kuppy," Zack cooed, nuzzling into Sephiroth head.

"I'm neutering you once this is over," the silver haired male growled, "I hope you know that. And do not give the parasite another name!"

"Love baby and/or kuppy," the brunet cooed.

"Neutering you," Sephiroth cooed right back.

"You know that won't work with my enhancements," Zack said dismissively, "We just need to stock up on condoms."

"Fine then, you're never topping again."

"Ahhhh, not faiiiir," the brunet whined.

"Can I leave now?" Merlin interjected.

"Yeah sure," Zack said, "Now what do you want to name our love baby?"

"I'm going to hurt you," Sephiroth muttered.

"That's not a very good name," the brunet said, "How about Angeal? That would be-OW! YOU HIT ME!"

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1. One of my first words actually. Kids do curse, it's oddly cute.

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I swear I have made Cloud and Leon into the worst parents possible, I really have. I also took great pleasure in mpregging Sephiroth, far too much in fact. Also…Kiba, Wolf. SIGN THE FUCK ONTO AIM! I is lonely. –Insert ridiculous pout here- Well, to everyone else, please review, they make me happy. And I'm going to go work on Stolen cuz I should have started that a while ago.