Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

"Alright. Ryuzaki. I can deal with the fact that I'm going to have to be around you constantly until you decide I'm not Kira. I can deal with eating with you. I can deal with going to the bathroom with you staring at me. I can even deal with tripping over you constantly. But do we seriously have to leave the handcuffs on at night, too?!"

L looked at him. "Well obviously. I can't have you running off while I'm asleep, now can I? Night is when I need to watch you the most."

"Fine," Light said, barely restraining the anger that L provoked in him like no other. "But can we at least have different beds?"

"I'm afraid that's impossible. The chain is much too short."

Light rubbed his eyes, jerking L forward a bit in the process. "Very well then," Light said through clenched teeth. "Move over."

L, a mischievous smile just visible on his normally blank features, scooted closer to the edge of the double bed. Closer to where Light was standing.

"The other way. The chain's too short. I don't have the leeway to walk around the bed to get to the other side."

L's smile was no longer vague. "I'm aware of that."

"Well I'm not going to sleep on the floor next to you."

"Then I suppose your options are to push me or to... climb over me."

Light stared at him. For all his genius he couldn't figure out what the hell L was playing at. He sighed. "Fine. I'll climb over you then."

L stared at him, unblinking, as he climbed up on the bed. 'Does this guy ever blink?' Light wondered to himself. When he was right over him, L grabbed the chain and yanked it to the side. Light's arm was flung out from under him; he lost his balance and landed right on L.

Quick as a flash, L's arms were around him, holding him there with his ever-unexpected strength. Light tried to get up once but stopped when he knew the attempt would be futile. His face was flat in the pillow, right next to where L's face was, as L was lying on his back.

"Can I help you?" Light asked calmly, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Yes," L said simply.

And then Light figured it out. Of course.

He turned his head towards L's, his lips were at his ear. Using his lowest, smoothest voice, the one that had once made a girl literally faint, he breathed, "How?"

"Well, you see," L said in his normal explanatory tone, "I have a confession to make. It probably wasn't completely necessary to handcuff the two of us together."

Light had already thought of this, of course. "In reality," L continued, "I did it because I like it."

"So you're into that kind of thing," Light whispered into L's ear, still pinned to the detective's chest. L did not reply so Light continued. "I've never done anything like that before. But I suppose..." he stuck his tongue out a tiny bit, just enough to graze L's ear. "I could be persuaded."

How L managed to keep his voice level with Light Yagami unleashing full-power seduce on him, no fangirl will ever know. But he did, and he sounded completely neutral when he said, "What shall I do to persuade you?"

Light chuckled. "Already done. Now... who is on top... me? Or you?"

Even L couldn't resist that one. His voice cracked. "What do you prefer?"

Light smiled against L's ear. Made sure he could feel the movement of his lips. He spoke slowly, erotically.

"I've never had sex with a man. I've only ever been on top. I'll go wherever you want me, but I can't guarantee my... performance... if I'm on the bottom. On top, however... well. I just hope there isn't anyone else on this floor to hear you scream."

If L had had any control left up to now, it was gone by the time Light stopped speaking. Light turned his head and began to slowly kiss L's throat. Still pinned to be lying right on top of him, he could clearly feel when L's body began to react. L let him up a bit, but only to where he could lift his head. Light used this opportunity to move to the front of L's throat, to kiss all the way up it, to the side of his jaw, along it, to the very corner of his lips. L made a small sound of pleasure and Light straddled him more fully, making sure their lower bodies were firmly aligned. He kissed him lightly on the lips. A feather's touch.

And then something happened. It was like lightning. Light felt a jolt through his entire body. It illuminated every atom in him, electrifying every particle that was Light Yagami. He gasped. L must have gotten it too: he was now holding Light hard enough to squeeze the breath out of him.

"Did you-" Light asked.

"Yes," L answered immediately.

What had started out, they both knew, as merely a farce, a game, became a whole lot more than that in not a whole lot of time. They stared at each other for a minute. "Ryuzaki," Light said. It came out hotly, burning with a passion Light hadn't known he felt. Evidentially he did, because at the moment all he wanted in life was to rip off the detective's clothes.

Apparently L felt the same. He let Light up, and they simultaneously began to rip their clothes off. Sometimes literally, because there simply wasn't time to figure out how to get their shirts off around the handcuffs. L was rich and that white shirt probably wasn't hard to replace. It hardly mattered to them at this particular moment, anyway.

Light got back on top of L on the bed. He pushed their bodies together, grinding them until L was gasping for breath and his fingers were digging into Light's back. Light kissed him hard, borderline viciously, biting him, tasting him. L moaned deep inside his chest and Light began his descent, tonguing down L's bare chest, his torso, his abdominals, and made the jump he knew he needed. When he was finished, Light kissed up to his belly, then across to his side. L turned to allow it, begging for Light's lips, his tongue, his hot breath.

Light flipped him and got on top of him. He kissed his neck again. "And I've never given a blowjob before. How'd you like it?"

L could only nod. Clearly he had. He was completely soaked in sweat, barely able to breathe.

"Do you want me to stop?" Light asked, mockingly.

L clutched the sheets. "No."

"Not even for a minute? You look like you could use a break."

"Light!"

"All right, all right."

He grabbed L by both shoulders and moved him into a more convenient position.

Then he drove into him, violently, and L cried out before he could stop himself. Light exited and entered harder, grunting with effort, working and sweating above the detective, and finally he came, and L screamed his name.

Light collapsed on top of L when it was over. He rolled off him.

For a while they just lay there and breathed.

"We will never speak of this to anyone," L said after a few minutes. "As far as they know, we did not just violently fuck in this room or any other."

"Cameras," Light said.

"I disabled the ones in this room. They should resume recording shortly."

"You calculated how long that would take?"

"Yes. Quite accurately, if I may say so."

"I agree that we should never tell anyone."

"Good. Now. As we are expected to be awake at our normal time tomorrow, I suggest we go to sleep at this point."

"All right. Goodnight, Ryuzaki."

"Sleep well, Light Yagami."

L reached out and turned off the lights in the room. A small light on the wall flickered on at the same time. L shifted into a sleeping position, but Light could only stare. "Is that a... night light?"

L cracked an eye. "Yes."

"You sleep with a night light?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'm so used to the glow of computer screens that complete darkness frightens me."

"I can't sleep with that on."

"I can't sleep with it off."

"How old are you?"

"That is irrelevant. I require a nightlight."

Light sighed in frustration. He held out his arms. "Come here."

"Why?"

"I'm Light. I'll be your night light if it means you'll turn that thing off."

L smiled slightly. "A play on your own name? Come now." But nevertheless he turned off the nightlight by a switch and scooted over to Light's outstretched arms. Light folded his arms around him.

"Anything else? Any other weird habits or requirements to sleep that I will be forced to deal with for who knows how long?"

"No."

"Then goodnight."

"Goodnight, Light."

"Not a funny pun."

"An unfortunate pairing of words. The fault is entirely mine."

Light sighed. "Just shut up and go to sleep." L felt Light's breath move his hair. He smiled.

"Goodnight."

END