He won't come back

A/N: Okay, so I just made this up at a whim. This is the most random thing I've ever written, trust me. I'm usually not that psycho. Lavi goes a bit berserk after Allen dies from an huge akuma/Noah attack…dark Laven. Maybe slight Yullen, but who knows?

Disclaimer: Is this even nesseccary?

"Allen!" I yelled out hoarsely, knowing that no one would answer. One brilliant green eye darting around frantically, I tried to locate the white-haired boy. He's somewhere around here, I thought as my fingers traced upon three large scratch marks on a nearby metal pole. Something sticky touched my hand, and I looked at the dark-red substance in dread. Blood… There was a trail leading out towards the centre of the building.

Without hesitating, I followed the sticky trail. Quite vaguely I could hear Lenalee shouting behind me, "Lavi, wait!" within a few seconds she was running right beside me, after activating her Innocence. "Be careful," she said, her left side of her face matted with blood. It made me remember that I, too, had my own injuries to worry about. As if on cue, I stumbled for a moment, clutching my bloody side gingerly.

Lenalee reached out for me in concern, but I shrugged her off, "We're finding Allen first." Biting her lower lip, eyes cautious, she nodded and merely helped me stand up straight. It became increasingly difficult to run now, and unfortunately for me, I didn't have any kind of Innocence that could help me.

"Where are you two going?" came a familiar and hostile voice, and Lenalee looked behind her, surprised to see Kanda running to catch up with us.

"Finding Allen," I said.

His eyes widened slightly, "The bean sprout isn't with you?"

My chest tightened uncomfortably, "He…he was supposed to be, but…"

"Let's find Allen-kun first, okay?" said Lenalee, her green eyes imploring, but Kanda and I didn't need any motivation to keep running to find our friend. Further and further we went, signs of battle and struggle becoming apparent. There was even more blood on the floor, now, the trail thicker in some spots; perhaps whoever that was bleeding had paused many times…My fists clenched at the possibility of it being Allen. It couldn't be him.

When we finally reached the centre, I looked around, searching for Allen. "Allen!" I yelled, tasting blood in my mouth. It must've been around the fiftieth time since I've yelled out that name. "Allen!"

A small, strangled cry was heard. "That must be Allen-kun!" Lenalee ran toward the direction of the sound, Kanda and I following suit. I spotted a huge pile of rubble, probably caused by the akuma, with a too horrifyingly-familiar white gloved hand sticking out from under it.

"Allen!" Lenalee and I yelled simultaneously, hands already digging through the rubble. Kanda helped me heave up the huge pieces of stone. When I managed to squeeze out the last of my energy into lifting a huge piece of marble, Lenalee pulled out Allen from underneath. Just the mere sight of him almost made me drop it. Nearly every inch of his skin was covered in bruises and scratches, his arm was bent in a strange way, and a shockingly deep gash was visible on his torso.

The white-haired boy coughed raggedly, his clothes in disarray, and opened his pale silver eyes, "L-Lavi…and Kanda and Lenalee…" his voice was hardly above a whisper, and he coughed again, this time blood coming out.

I clenched his hand desperately, my voice cracking, "Don't waste your energy talking right now, Allen….We'll get you help soon. Just hold on. Please." I bit my lip to stop it from trembling, and tears were streaming down Lenalee's face while she struggled not to let out a sob. Kanda looked away, though I could've sworn I saw something glint in the light there.

He merely smiled, not a sad one, but one of genuine happiness. No, no, why is he smiling like that? I clenched onto his hand even more tightly. Only people at the verge of death would smile like that…No, he was just trying to reassure us…Just… Even my thoughts broke off as my mask of calmness slowly melted into one of sorrow. Hot tears stung the cuts on my face as they slid down my cheek, and I struggled to keep my voice steady. "Allen, it's going to be alright."

"Damn bean sprout," said Kanda, trying to look scornful, "we're all getting out of here. Alive," he added, and Lenalee nodded, wiping her tears off with her torn-up sleeve.

Allen shook his head slightly, his breath coming out in shallow pants. "Thank you…all of you," he said, wincing at the effort to breathe, let alone speak.

"Don't strain yourself," I said softly.

"And Lavi…" Allen's voice trailed off, coughing out bits of blood. Kanda and Lenalee reached out in alarm, while I held him closer to myself. Grimacing, his pale lips struggled to curve into another smile, but this time his words came out silent. Even without years of Bookman lip-reading training, I could tell what he was saying-

I love you.

-my façade broke down completely when he reached up a gloved hand to caress my face. It was soft, so gentle, it made my chest almost explode with pain. His eyes slowly drooped until fully closed, and his arm fell down, lying limp on the ground. His heaving chest eventually slowed down, and then…

It stopped. My blood froze, and I continued to stare at Allen's childish face. Gone were the life and happiness that used to be contained inside it. His mouth was still curved slightly upwards, indicating what he had done in his last few moments. Wake up, wake up! My mind screamed, as if that would bring Allen back to life. We all sat stone-still, not saying a word, hardly breathing.

"He…h-he's gone…Lenalee half sobbed as she spoke.

Those words struck a cord in me. In a bad way. "A-Allen…?" I asked softly, shaking the still body in my arms. "Wake up, Allen…we'll take you to the infirmary and everything will be fine…" Lenalee hiccupped beside me. I shook the small body again, but there was no reaction. I could almost imagine him reopening those silver eyes, smiling like he didn't have a care in the world, and I would embrace him, feeling his warm body against mine, lips brushing against one another…

Kanda coughed into his fist, his black eyes nearly covered by his long hair, interrupting my reverie, "We have to get out of here before any more akuma…show up," he'd stopped himself from saying "Noah", but I knew more than well who had killed Allen. The person who killed the person that mattered to me most in my life.

Head hung low, I slowly stood up, holding Allen's body in my arms. It was frail and light; I never realized how delicate it could've been. He always put up such a brave front, one that made him look virtually indestructible.

But it was all a façade. All a complete lie. Never before had I realized how easily a life was lost and how much it could hurt you; in this akuma and Exorcist war, someone dying seemed quite normal. Now I knew how those akuma victims felt, when their loved ones died, when they felt like there was nothing else to live for, when they felt that overwhelming sense of sorrow and loss.

My legs moved forward automatically, only concentrating on following Kanda and Lenalee in front of me. I wanted to see Allen alive again, even if it was just one last time…Just one more time…

We went back the way we came from, the blood trail on the ground a dark black color from the darkening sky. The sun disappeared below the trees in the area, as if swallowed up. Waiting outside were the other Exorcists, Miranda, Crowley, Mari, Chaoji, Gramps, and even the four generals, Sokaro, Cloud Nine, Tiedoll, and most surprisingly, Cross Marian.

Miranda, who was slumped onto the ground, face tear-streaked, ran over to us, momentary relief on her face. But it didn't last long. When she caught sight of Allen's dead body, her lips formed a small "o" of surprise, as if the shock didn't register at the moment.

When it did, Miranda broke into a heap of sobs. This time, Lenalee didn't hold back , and Kanda merely muttered a few words, trying to calm the two women down. "Lavi…" Crowley took one glance at Allen's body and realized it at once. His eyes filled with tears, lower lip trembling. Even Cross walked up to Allen, his face solemn.

"So the brat is dead," he said, clearing his voice. I looked up in fury, about to snap at the red-haired general, until I realized that there was a single tear sliding down his face. "Stupid idiot, why doesn't he ever listen to me?" Cross ran a hand through his apprentice's hair, and just then I realized how deep the connection between master and apprentice went.

"I'm…sorry," both Tiedoll and Cloud Nine bowed their heads deeply to Allen, paying their respects.

Before I realized it, Gramps walked up to me, his face solemn, though it usually was like that. I looked away, unable to speak to him at the moment. He was just going to lecture me about how this was a lesson as to why Bookmen weren't supposed to love or feel anything…And that love in general will just hurt you later on, because nothing ever stays around forever.

But instead, he laid a comforting hand on my arm, since he was too short to reach any higher than that, and didn't say anything. How did he know…? But my mind came up blank. I didn't feel like thinking anymore, and I just wanted everything to be over with. It wasn't fair that things had to turn out this way…Sure, Allen had the whole parasitic arm that took off years off his life span, but it didn't have to just end like that.

The worst part is that I'll never get to tell him. He decided to tell me at the last moment, right before he died--before he left in my arms, and he'd never know what I was going to say.

I love you, too, Allen.

A/N: So, how was it? Good? Bad? Whatever? Put it in a review, maybe? I suck at sad writing, and I'm very corny/cliche when it comes to things like that. :c

Oh, and by the way...This isn't a one-shot, so there'll be some other chapters ahead~