55. "Twenty-year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters. Which they should do more often." (Note: Oil filters can be replaced with a magically appropriate term)

"You just don't get it do you!"

"Oh I get it alright! You're jealous! You wish you could me more like me!"

"Do you know something? I thought you were going to say something jaw-droppingly smart when you started that sentence. Apparently I was wrong."

"About what? Are you denying the fact that you're jealous that I have a girlfriend?"

"No – because I'm not jealous of you for having a girlfriend."

"Well what are you jealous of then?! And don't say you're not jealous!"

"…"

"Say it!"

"Her."

"What?"

"I'm jealous of her okay! I'm jealous of the fact that all your time is spent on her and all you ever do is talk about her and think about her and look at her. She's your everything now Zach! So yeah – maybe I am more than a little jealous."

"Why would you be jealous of that? She's my girlfriend and you're just my friend. You aren't even my best friend so it can't be that best-friend-wants-attention that Ernie tries to pull, you aren't even interesting enough to try and be attention seeking."

"OH FOR MERLIN'S SAKE! SHALL I JUST SAY IT?!"

"If you will?"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU! I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR YEARS! You're just too wrapped up in whatever girl you're with each week to notice!"

"Ha-ha. Very funny Justin. Now try telling me something serious."

"I am serious!"

"No you're not. You couldn't be in love with me."

"Why the HELL not?!"

"Because twenty-year olds fall in and out of love more often than they clean their broomsticks. Which they should do more often. You're not in love."

"I am though!"

"Shove off if you're going to be an idiot Justin."