So, sometimes when I'm doing something, I end up with things like this written instead. I'm going to just post them all here for your reading pleasure. Be warned though, they will be extremely random, may involve one or more various pairings which may or may not be yaoi/yuri, can involve any character in the series at any given moment, be about any topic, and will make absolutely no sense.

So enjoy!

One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda, Toei Animation, VIZ media, and FUNimation. The song "Guy Love" belongs to whoever wrote it, which was probably some writer for Scrubs, which is owned by ABC. Last time I checked I wasn't not affiliated with any of them in anyway.

Guy Love

Zoro walked into the galley and bore witness to a very strange scene.

Sanji was at the stove cooking lunch; as he normally was suppose to do at this time of day. What was out of place here was Usopp sitting at the table scrunched over something he was working on, sweating profusely while Brooke held him at sword point looking uncharacteristically somber. Zoro just stared.

Sanji looked up from his cooking as Zoro walked in. "You better not be here to steal any booze Marimo-head." When Zoro just continued staring at Usopp and Brooke, Sanji answered his unasked question, "Usopp wanted to borrow Brooke's violin for some stupid reason and ending up dropping it." Zoro made a face that said 'oh, that makes sense,' and continued to look around for some sake.

"Y'know, the whole 'sword-by-the-back-of-my-neck' thing isn't really helping to speed this up." Usopp said. Brooke responded by putting the tip of the blade on the back of the sniper's neck. Usopp lost his grip on his tools and accidently hit something inside the violin. When the instrument started to glow Usopp and Brooke dropped everything and ducked under the table. After a few seconds passed and nothing happened the both poked their heads out from under the table and, sensing no immediate danger, stood up.

"What was that?" Usopp felt the need to ask.

"I believe, if I am not mistaken, that you poked the essence of music." Brooke replied.

Usopp blinked. "Ah yes, the essence of music. I remember when I was about two or so when I had to-"

"No," interrupted Brooke, "this is the essence of music. It's basically just a physical manifestation of everything music represents. You shouldn't really go around poking it though."

"Wh-what happens when you poke it?"

"Nothing really, it just forces the music out of the heart of anyone who was exposed to it."

"What on earth does that mean?" Suddenly music began to start up from nowhere. Sanji turned to face Zoro who had found his prize and fully expected to be kicked upside the head for it. What he didn't expect was for Sanji to start singing:

"Let's face the facts about me and you, a love unspecified."

Zoro, Usopp, and Brooke (although he had no eyelids) just stared and blinked. Sanji continued:

"Though I'm proud to call you Marimo, the crowd will always talk and stare."

To everyone's surprise, Zoro stepped forward and picked up the song:

"I feel exactly these feelings to, and that's why I keep them inside. Cause this plant can't bear the world's disdain. And sometimes it's easier to hide then explain our-"

At this point they took another step towards each other, turned to face Brooke and Usopp, and sang in unison:

"Guy Love, that's all it is. Guy Love, he mine I'm his. There's nothing gay about it in our eyes."

Turning back to face each other, Zoro sang:

"You ask about this thing we share," to which Sanji replied:

"And he tenderly replies..." Zoro took a power pose before finishing:

"It's Guy Love" they went back into unison to sing:

"Between two guys." They both turned back to face Usopp and Brooke. Zoro started heading for the other side of the counter while singing:

"We're closer than the average man and wife." Sanji joined going the other way while singing:

"That's why our matching Xs say Zoro and Sanji." Zoro turned to face Sanji again and held up a fist while singing:

"You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life." Sanji grabbed his wrist with both hands and sang:

"You're the only man who's been inside of me!" Everyone stopped for a bit. Zoro took a step back while Sanji let go of his wrist saying, "Whoa, whoa, I was just holding his ribs together." He glanced at Usopp and Brooke. Sanji tapped his shoulder. He turned back towards him while Sanji sang:

"No need to clarify." To which Zoro responded:

"Oh no?" Sanji continued, holding out his arms:

"Just let it grow more and more each day." He put his arms down. "It's like I married my best friend," Zoro continued with:

"But in a totally manly way." They both shouted "Let's go!" and jumped up on the table to sing:

"It's Guy Love, don't compromise, the feeling of some other guy," at this point Sanji got down on one knee while Zoro stood behind him, both of their hands crossed over their hearts, "holding up your heart into the sky." They both took their hands and raised them to the ceiling. Sanji stood up and faced Zoro again and sang:

"I'll be there to care through all the lows." Zoro responded with:

"I'll be there to share the highs." They both started singing:

"It's Guy Love, between two guys." Sanji jumped down off the table, then turned back to look at Zoro and sing:

"And when I say, 'I love you Zoro,' it's not what it implies…" The music from nowhere slowed down. Zoro jumped off the table and joined Sanji in singing:

"It's Guy Love." They turned to face each other. "Between…two-" they cut off for a bit, then Sanji nodded and they continued, "guys." Zoro held out his hand for Sanji to shake. The music stopped as Sanji shook his head and said, "No hands," before kicking Zoro, who knew that he would leave the galley faster if he didn't defend himself, through the nearest wall and onto the Sunny's lawn-deck.

There was nothing but silence for about ten seconds; then Usopp and Brooke started laughing uncontrollably. Sanji turned on them, kicking them through the infirmary and onto the deck, before turning back to the stove to finish making lunch. Usopp and Brooke were still laughing, despite the cuts, bruises and broken bones. Chopper, who was playing cards with Franky and Luffy a few feet from where they landed sprung up and started calling for a doctor before realizing we was the doctor and hurried to check up on them. The laughing had slowed down to a few chuckles and "yohos," so Chopper asked, "What happened?"

Usopp and Brooke looked back through the infirmary door they just crashed through, turned looked at each other, and then just started laughing again.