Well, people like my insane little ramblings, so I shall continue. All warnings from previous chapter apply.
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"Is it just me or does the new Smoky the Bear look slightly retarded when he talks?" Axel asked.
"You're just pissed someone is telling people to stop setting fires," Roxas responded as he flipped the page in his magazine.
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"It's all Hojo's fault!" Kelle screamed as she threw her strategy guide at the wall, "If it weren't for Hojo wanting to be a freaking god no one would have to be hurt! He is directly responsible for every bad thing ever!"
"Um…yeah, we already knew that," Cloud muttered, ducking when a plastic cup was flung at his head.
"Calm down already," Sephiroth sighed, "Just because you can't beat Safer Sephiroth does not mean you need to take it out on us…where did you get a knife?"
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"Excuse me while I go puke blood," Genesis groaned dramatically.
"You're not puking blood," Angeal sighed.
"You don't know that," the redhead hissed.
"You're pregnant, not dying," the larger male muttered, "Stop being so over dramatic."
"God damn Hojo and his 'enhancements'," Genesis growled as he stalked into the bathroom, "I'm a First Class SOLDIER for fuck's sakes, I don't need morning sickness."
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"Have you ever noticed Cloud kind of looks like Link from Legend of Zelda with spiky hair?" Zack suddenly asked.
"…." Sephiroth looked up with wide eyes before snorting loudly.
"What?! He does!"
"Oh my god," the General wheezed, "I think I just swallowed my gum!"
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"Axel…what are you doing?" Roxas tilted his head slightly.
"You can't see me," the redhead muttered.
"Um…yeah I can."
"No you can't!" Axel hissed, "I am in a box, therefore, I am invisible. Video games told me so."
"You went down to Vexen's lab again didn't you?" the blond sighed.
The only response he got was a snake hiss.
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Kelle sat snickering to herself as she watched Wolf get up from her seat. "Oh Zexy!" Wolf cooed.
"What do you want?" Zexion asked cautiously.
"I want you to meet someone," Wolf smirked, "This…is happy rapist bunny!" The insane writer threw a creepy smiling rabbit at the blue haired male, watching as the viscious beast latched onto the screaming emo.
"Have I mentioned I love you lately?" Kelle smiled as she watched Zexion shriek and run around the room.
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Kelle sat bopping her head along to the music in her head while a collection of video game characters stared. "You think she'll notice if we make a break for it?" Cloud whispered.
"Yes," Kelle responded.
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Cat, I'm a kitty cat. And I dance, dance, dance and I dance, dance, dance. Cat, I'm a kitty cat and I dance, dance, dance, and I dance, dance, dance.
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HOLY SHIT I'M COLD!!!! WHY AM I DRINKING A SMOOTHY WHEN I'M FUCKING FREEZING?! WHYYYYYY?!
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"I could stab you in the eye," Genesis growled.
"But you won't," Sephiroth responded smoothly, picking up a report on his desk.
"Oh you're so sure of that are you?" the redhead snarled.
"Look," the General said evenly, finally taking his eyes off the report and leveling Genesis with a hard glare, "I am busy right now. If you're going to have a hissy fit over Angeal not inviting you to go out drinking with him and the Puppy then go somewhere else."
"Stab you in the eye."
"Go away."
"Wanna have sex?"
"…go. A. Way."
"Ah come on," the redhead whined, sitting on Sephiroth's desk. Eyeing Genesis with distaste the General suddenly smirked. "I'M LEAVING!" Genesis screamed before fleeing the office.
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Cloud, naked on top of a table, covered in chocolate sauce with a cherry on each nipple. I don't have anything else to say…I just rather liked the image. :D
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Oh. My. Gawd. ACC is so pretty. Real eyes are REAL!
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"There's something wrong with you," Sephiroth dead panned.
Kelle looked up briefly before returning her attention to her laptop. "I already know that," she muttered.
"Yeah well, I just thought I should remind you."
"It's kind of redundant at this point," Kelle shrugged slightly, "And why aren't you in your ballet outfit?"
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"Kelle!" the deranged writer suddenly shouted, "Now with crazy!"
"Don't you mean crazy pills?" Sephiroth asked.
"Why would I be on pills?"
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"I have Heartless flu," Cloud groaned.
"What's that?" Leon asked.
"It's like swine flu, but…I forgot the punch line…"
(Why yes, I am that stupid)
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"Holy shit I'm naked!" Zack screamed.
"Yes," Kelle's voice was unusually quiet, "Yes you are…hold still while I get my camera."
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What I learned while playing Crisis Core. Zack…has a really nice ass and you can focus the camera on it.
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"Well Mr. Fair, you've managed to shatter the majority of your leg, broken six ribs, and fractured your skull," the doctor said as he pointed to the x-rays, "You're going to need extensive surgery and bed rest. How did you manage this exactly?"
Zack looked at the doctor for a moment before pointing to the blond next to him. "I jumped Cloud when he got home and he threw me out the window."
"I said I was sorry," Cloud muttered.
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"Dude…the new Star Trek movie rips off Star Wars the Empire Strikes back!" Zack yelled as he exited the movie theater.
"How so?" Sephiroth asked absently as he sucked on the straw to his soda.
"That scene when Kirk is in the ice world. He gets chased by an ice monster, nearly eaten, and ends up in an ice cave being saved by the old dude! That is the exact scene when Luke gets caught by the ice monster, nearly eaten, and saved by whats his face's memory!"
"No it's not," Sephiroth muttered, tossing his empty soda cup into the trash.
"Yes it is!"
(Seriously, just went and saw Star Trek and that is what I thought during the scene)
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"Alright Zack today…Zack…ZACK!" Angeal yelled, his student's head whipping to face him, "…as I was saying before you started making faces at Genesis, today you're going to be learning how to use materia."
"I wasn't making faces at Genesis," the smaller brunet huffed, "I was making hand gestures."
"I don't really care. And I can see you Genesis, hiding behind the pillar does not make you invisible, go away so I can teach Zack."
Genesis stepped out from behind the pillar he had been using to ineffectively conceal himself with and blew a raspberry at the pair before turning on his heel and gliding away. "Hey Angeal," Zack said as he picked up one of the materia balls, "What would happen if I ate one of these things?"
"You'd probably get mako poisoning and die," the older SOLDIER answered.
"Oh…I need to go to the infirmary…"
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(Now a look at how I want to react to certain reviews, also entitled "Why yes, I am a bitch.")
Review: You know Seph and Cloud are enemies right? They would never be in a relationship. Zack and Cloud make so much more sense. It's a shame that some writers can't even follow canon.
Me: …FUCK YOU!!! If you don't like it then don't fucking read it! I don't give a rats ass that you don't like my pairing, I like it. Shut up and stop forcing your opinion on me. And for your fucking information, there is no canon yaoi in Final Fantasy. Fuck, Zack was crushing on Aerith you moron. That's more canon than anything fanfiction writers put up. That's the fucking point, it's fanFICTION! We make shit up! God, get your head out of your ass and get off my profile. (. I have issues with people pushing their pairings on others. Don't comment on MY story about how you don't like the pairing. Just don't read it.)
Reviewer 2: Ew, boys shouldn't be having sex together.
Me: Ew, you shouldn't be allowed in public.
Reviewer with the nerve to fucking get my email address…also known as 3: Homosexuality is wrong. –begins quoting the bible- You should be ashamed of yourself for spreading this filth.
Me: Hello, enjoy the gay porn I am now spamming you with. Aslo…you read it, what does that say about you? –proceeds to spam until I'm blocked-
Reviewer 4: U use teh rong grammr.
Me: …woooow. Just, just wow. Seriously man? (Before you give a critique about someone's grammar or spelling, use proper English yourself.)
Reviewer 5: You're so awesome, I love your story. You should read mine it's about a magic donkey that loves Roxas. –rambles on about their story-
Me: What does that have to do with anything? (Don't get me wrong, I regularly check out the profiles and stories of people who review me, I find it fun to see what kind of people are willing to spend time on my works. But really? Pimping it in a review?)
Reviewer 6: Hot!
Me: Useless feedback!
(I've done the third one :D I said these are things I would like to say, but I don't actually say them. God damn manners are so imbedded into my personality I can't. And admit it, if you're a writer and have gotten these reviews you've thought the same damn thing.)
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"Do I want to know?" Roxas muttered as he looked at his friend.
Axel stood in front of him in only his jeans, a slightly sheepish expression on his face. Swinging from his nipple was a small crab. "I don't think so…" the redhead sighed, "Just…get Demyx for me will you?"
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"Hey Zexion," Kelle called, peering into the hole in the wall that the lilac haired male was hiding in, "You know about rapist bunny?"
"Yes! Keep it away!" the small male shrieked.
"Yeah, sure," Kelle muttered, "Well Wolf and I found someone else, we call him raped bunny, be nice." Kelle threw the small, heavily tramitized looking bunny into the hole and walked away.
"You're just like me aren't you?" Zexion's voice drifted out of the hole, "They like to make you suffer for their amusement too."
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"Hey…you guys," Axel whispered.
"What?" Sephiroth hissed.
"Kelle's unconscious, she took some meds and passed out."
The collection of video game bishis exchanged glances before Roxas crept forward to poke the sleeping writer. "She's not responding…"
"Okay everyone," Cloud whispered, "We need to do this quietly or she'll wake up."
"Spiky, I don't think that's going to be a problem," Zack laughed, grabbing one of Kelle's arms and letting it flop back down onto the desk she was spread over, "She took two muscle relaxants, a pain killer, two different migrain meds, and a valium. No one can stay up after that."
"I'm not asleep," Kelle groaned, "I'm trying to ignore the pain pulsing through my skull. I can take double what I did and go to work. That's nothing."
"Why didn't you react before?" Axel muttered.
"Because," Kelle hissed, turning her head to glare at the redhead, "My head is throbbing and I'm trying to make the world explode with my mind. Go do whatever you want, I don't care."
(I can take that many drugs and not be effected. I've been on meds for waaaay too long, my tolerance is that of a long time junky.)
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"How come when people make dogs fight it's animal cruelty but when two black people fight it's boxing?" Marluxia suddenly asked.
"Oh that's not cool man," Axel said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Way to be racist," Roxas scoffed.
"I can't believe you went there," Xemnas growled, "You aren't the man I thought you were."
"But…I didn't mean…" Marluxia watched with wide eyes as the rest of the group got up and left, shooting him dirty looks in the process.