Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh!
A/N: I've wanted to do an Amane letter fic since I started, and I've finally had time to get it down. Please leave your thoughts and criticisms. I hope you enjoy it (or cry. Either one). Also, this is supposed to be mostly letter format, but FFN wouldn't cooperate. Sorry!
Dear Amane
April 23, 2004
Dear Amane,
I know I haven't written you for a while, but things have been so busy lately. School has really been taking up a lot of my time. I can't believe I'm almost a freshman in high school now! I'm still doing well but I miss you terribly sometimes. It's been seven years, but it still feels like yesterday to me. It's so lonely without you. Father has been spending more and more time on his expeditions in Egypt, like he would do anything just to be away from me. I wonder if he still sees you in me.
But, something else has been tearing away at me recently. I never said I was sorry. The morning that we fought, I never said I was sorry for making you cry! We were just being siblings, arguing about something of little consequence, but you started sobbing for our mother. If I hadn't made you cry, she wouldn't have needed to make you feel better. She wouldn't have taken you out to get that ice cream…You wouldn't have been in the path of that driver! And I still feel it's my fault! I still feel you around me, and it fills me with such guilt…
So…I know I'm saying this seven years too late, but I've gained some perspective and thought about it a lot. Amane, I'm so sorry! I can never say it enough, because without me you would still be alive. I'm sorry…
I know it's hard to believe, but after all our fighting and all this time, I still love you, Amane. You'll always be my little sister.
Love,
Bakura Ryou
--
September 2, 2004
Dear Amane,
I'm sure you remember what today is, don't you, Amane? That's right, I turned thirteen today! I'm officially a teenager now, and I'm in high school. It's such a strange feeling! I've never given much thought to the future, but it feels like that will change soon. I need to start focusing on getting into a university!
But something happened today that made my birthday even better! Even though he couldn't make it home, Father sent me an Egyptian artifact. He must have realized how interested I've been in his job and Egypt lately. It's a very strange looking trinket. It's like a ring surrounding a triangle with the Eye of Horus in the middle. I think I'll start wearing it tomorrow. It almost feels like he cares about me again, and I've been waiting for so long…
I just thought I would say "hi" today. I miss you like always.
Love,
Bakura Ryou
--
October 1, 2004
Dear Amane,
Are you angry at me? I've felt something strange around me ever since my birthday, when Father finally contacted me again. I'm sorry he hasn't been to see you in a while, but I will try to convince him to visit. Please don't stay mad at me for not bringing him. He's just finally spoken to me after so long, and I don't want to lose that now.
Even if he can't come to visit you, I still love you, Amane. Shouldn't that be enough? Just, please, don't be mad at me.
Love,
Bakura Ryou
--
October 20, 2004
Amane,
Why are you doing this, Amane? I thought you would be glad that I've had friends, but now terrible things are happening to them! One of my kindest friends fell into a coma! Please, I don't want to feel alone anymore! All I want is to move on with my life and be surrounded by people who truly care about me! It's been so hard moving on since you left. I'm begging you; please don't throw it all away for me!
You might not have noticed, but I've tried my hardest to be kind to everyone since that horrible accident. I don't want anyone else to be hurt because of me. But now, it's happening all over! I can't help but feel it's all my fault, again. Please, don't hurt them, Amane. I can't bear to have that on my conscience…I don't want to cause anyone anymore pain.
Your brother,
Bakura Ryou
--
November 1, 2004
To Amane:
Amane, I've begged for your forgiveness and asked in the kindest way I possibly could. I understand how you could hate me, but you used to be so pure and nice to everyone. You were an angel to all, but now…
I had to move away from my old school. Everyone who knew me ended up in the hospital, and everyone knows there's something horribly wrong. Anyone who doesn't think I'll be the next to go thinks that I'm the reason behind it, and they're right. But how can I tell them that the spirit of my sister is destroying everything I hold dear?
I wanted to do the best I could for you, Amane, so what did I do to deserve this kind of punishment by your hands? I still love you, even though it's getting harder to show that affection when my world is crumbling apart. I don't know if you'll listen to me anymore, but from the bottom of my heart I am begging you to forgive the fact that I still live and you don't. Is that it? Are you angry that I escaped your fate that day? If I could take your place I would. It would be far better than living this empty shell of a life. I can only hope you realize the pain you are inflicting on those around me…please, don't do this anymore…
Your loving brother,
Bakura Ryou
--
November 13, 2004
My dearest Amane,
I'm so sorry, Sister! How could I have possibly blamed you, so innocent and childlike for everything that has been happening?! I'm so, so sorry!
I should have realized it wasn't you, but someone capable of far more than your kind heart could possibly allow. And yet I blamed you! I have no right to ask for your kindness now, not after betraying your memory in the worst way allowable.
I guess I should tell you what has been going on. For the past two months, the ring Father sent me has been to blame. I should have realized it then. He spoke to me, someone from inside it, last night, admitting that it was his fault. The people in the coma, the darkness I've been feeling, all of it. And then he laughed. I have never heard anyone speak so calmly about such horrible things, but he did.
Amane, this is the last letter I must send to you. I can't even consider what he would do to me if I was caught doing something he didn't want me to…It feels he has already set boundaries for what I am allowed to do, so in this, I must send you all my love. Hold on to it. Keep it forever. Know that I will never stop loving you through all of this. I know that is hard to believe, but trust me. I've always loved you and I always will. Stay pure and kind, Amane. I love you, and I will see you when this is all over. I know I will.
With all my love,
Bakura Ryou
--
Bakura looked up from his finished letter, barely able to stop the welling of tears in his eyes. Shutting down his emotions for the moment, he reached for his coat hanging by the door and fled the apartment into the night. He couldn't afford to waste what little time he had by crying over what he was about to do.
He ran the few short blocks to the bus stop, knowing the route he would have to take to reach his destination. Bakura dug into his pocket for the change he would need when the bus arrived. After an eternity of waiting, it finally pulled to a stop in front of him, and he leapt onto the first step, handing the driver his money and taking a seat towards the front. The door swished shut and he closed his eyes, waiting for the two and a half hour ride to be over.
Two o'clock in the morning had come and gone by the time he stepped off the bus. Turning to his right he followed the sidewalk to the edge of his old hometown, entering the cemetery he knew all too well, ignoring the rain that pounded on the hood of his jacket. He walked along the much travelled path to a small grave towards the back of the grounds, falling to his knees in the wet grass once he stopped.
He clutched the letter to his heart.
Finally allowing his hidden tears to fall, he sobbed into the ground, murmured apologies cutting through the eerie silence of the graveyard.
"Amane…Amane, I'm so sorry…please forgive me! I'm sorry!"
Throwing his head back, he allowed the rain to mix with the wetness on his cheeks, washing away the salty liquid. He didn't know how long he stared at the sky, waiting for the crying to stop, but when the time came to leave, he knew.
Shivering in sadness and the chill that had sunk into his body, he let the letter fall on the base of Amane's tombstone, watching the rain dampen and smudge his handwriting. Unable to take anymore, he rose emotionlessly to his feet, turning and stumbling away from his letter, sister, and the last remnants of his hope.
--
Unknown to Bakura, he was being watched. As soon as he had approached the tombstone, he caught the attention of its inhabitant and she watched, grieving, as he sobbed and shook.
"Brother...big brother…it's alright! It's okay!" she tried to say, but he couldn't hear her. She was as dead to him as she had always been, no matter how much she wanted to comfort him. "Don't cry…" But she may have been speaking to the wind for all the good it did.
Unable to reassure him, Amane watched as he cried, waiting for him to smile as he always did after delivering one of his letters. It never came.
After he stood and walked away, she looked down at his letter, reading at and struggling to absorb what he was telling her. The pain she had been feeling at his accusations faded as she read the words of forgiveness and apology, but quickly changed to sadness at the last two paragraphs.
"You're…you're not coming back…? Don't leave me! Please!" she yelled, running after him. She stopped in surprise as a flare of darkness surrounded him, and a spirit that looked so much like her brother turned to stare at her. There was evil in his eyes and a smirk curled the edge of his mouth as she flinched. As quickly as he was there, he disappeared, but Amane did not continue forward. "Ryou…"
Slowly, she returned to her gravestone, looking down at the emotion-filled letter. As she watched, it disintegrated with the rain, taking with it the last memories of her brother.
She turned around, crying as she watched Bakura disappear into the rain forever.