I know this story is supposed to be complete but I figure I'll add to it if I ever feel like writing about something really important to me. I may end up writing to someone else for this in the future, depending on who caused me to feel bad in some way. So I guess we have a new chapter now.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

It's been two months now. I've gotten over you, and I like someone else now. But I still love you; this time the right way. But you don't seem to love me at all.

For a while everything was perfect between us. We acted just the same as we always had, only now it was so much easier to talk to you. We were best friends; we had fun together, told each other everything, trusted each other. But that's gone now. Nothing good ever lasts with us.

It started a couple weeks ago. You became distant. You didn't talk to me much, and I felt like you were slipping away from me. Now I've been replaced. Twice. Amy and Abby are two of my best friends, and you've replaced me with them. You're nice enough to me when they aren't around, but the moment they show up all of your focus is on them, and I am ignored completely.

Lunch used to be my favorite part of the day. It was the only time I really had a chance to hang out with you. Now I hate it. I hate sitting there, right across from you, watching you joke and laugh with Amy and Abby who sit next to you. I can't stand you telling me to go away while you talk secrets with Abby, while you laugh and tease Amy. I can't stand seeing you smile at them, that smile you used to reserve just for me, that beautiful smile I never receive anymore.

I always said I would never, could never hate you. Not completely. I do hate you sometimes now, but even among that anger, I still love you, and I don't want to lose you. I've distanced from other friends of mine over the past year, but I could lose them. I can't lose you. To lose you would be like losing a part of my life, my first love, my best friend. And that's something I can't bear to lose.

But apparently you can. You don't care anymore. Sometimes I feel like even if I died you wouldn't give a care about it. You don't like having me around, you just put up with me. If I walk away somewhere else, you won't care. If I transfer schools, you won't care. If I shut you completely out of my life, you won't care. Some friend you turned out to be.

I can't blame Abby or Amy. It's not their fault that they're the people you replaced me with. They don't realize what you're doing to me. You don't even realize it yourself.

That's the worst part. You're doing this without even realizing it. You are unconsciously pushing me out of your life. You don't know what you're doing, how much you're hurting me. But I do. And every day it gets worse.

I told Amy about how I feel. She understood; she tried to apologize for something she had no control over. She insisted that she talk to you, but I didn't want her to. I had already decided to talk to you myself as soon as possible, but I hadn't gotten my chance yet. She wanted to talk to you so badly, to ask you why you were ignoring me, but I wouldn't let her. You would think less of me if she talked to you instead. So I told her no.

I don't care who's around us tomorrow, but I will talk to you. Myself. In person. That's the way I do things. I can't let this get in the way of our friendship. I can't lose you, not now. Not after everything we've gone through together.

It gets worse every day. I get happy at the thought of seeing you, of being with you. I smile at the sight of you. Until I remember how you're treating me. Until I remember that I'm not good enough to hang out with you anymore. Until I remember that you don't care about me, only the people I'm standing next to. None of them know you the way I know you, none of them see you the way I see you, none of them love you the way I love you. And they never will. You will always be a special person to me, and I will always love you, even when I can't stand to be around you.

I'm fed up with this, so I'm going to fix it. I'm going to talk to you, and sort this out with you, just like I have so many other things. But right now it hurts.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Thanks for reading. I know these are all kinda sad, but I write a lot when I'm sad. It helps me feel better about it. So, yeah. If you're reading this, please review it. It would mean a lot to me.

~Livvi :)