Sunshine Chapter 1, a watchmen fanfic

With the tears streaming down his face, it was hard to see where he was going, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Memories swirled in his mind, running his nerves raw, his head aching so sharply he imagined that he was frying his neurons even as he sat in his cushy pilot's seat. He couldn't stop the constant replay running through his head, the words running over each other like a hobo jittering out his schizophrenic ranting.

"Dan, get a hold of yourself already!" Laurie's voice coming from a cloudy shape; he couldn't help the tears, couldn't stop them from coming even in the face of the woman who he thought he cared for. Could love, even. The snow was cold under his feet, and it felt as if the tears must be freezing on his face. He must have been crying for a long time, just standing there in the snow; Laurie had been comforting at first, but she was getting annoyed by now. "He knew what was going to happen to him, you heard him say so! Why even get yourself worked up like this?"

A strangled cry escaped Daniel then, echoing in Archie's empty interior. This wasn't supposed to be how it worked out; Daniel was supposed to go with Laurie, escape to some tiny third-world country and try to start anew. Maybe even start a family, one day. But Laurie's exasperation had cut him to the quick, had pushed too hard that which had not yet calloused itself, and he had fallen silent in the face of her eager chatter about the future. Their future.

There would be no Rio. There would be no Carribbean. There would be no him and Laurie.

She had been displeased, and understandably so; Daniel wasn't even entirely certain himself why he had refused her so suddenly. He had been Rorschach's friend, and Rorschach had been one of his closest friends; but he and Laurie had shared a night of passion. Why should Rorschach's death change anything?

"Heard you singing, Dan."

Dan loosed a keening cry of pain, pounding one fist against Archie's steering column. Damn his impotency; damn his memory, for preserving Rorschach's growled voice so perfectly.

"Heard me – pardon?" Dan had asked, flushing as he looked up from his Audubon newsletter, his glasses slipping down his nose. It was late; he hadn't anticipated Rorschach staying this long. He usually just ate and left.

"Heard you. Last night, when you were washing dishes." Rorschach had repeated, his eyes locked steadily on Daniel's might not have been able to see the intense gleam from under the mask, but he could certainly feel the weight of his gaze on him. "Singing."

"Well, I, ah, yes, I suppose I was." He stammered, trying to pay very close attention to his newsletter, as if he could ignore the masked man standing in the center of his living room. "I like singing. It usually just happens unconsciously when I work." He glanced up at Rorschach, the shorter man's image fuzzy as he looked over his glasses. "Did it bother you? I could stop."

"No." The masked man growled, and he fell silent for a moment, as if waiting for Daniel to speak again. But Daniel didn't, and just sat and watched him, pushing his glasses back up his nose with one finger. After almost a full minute's slience, he finally spoke. "Thought it sounded… nice." He growled quietly, almost inaudible.

Rorschach was not precisely the person Daniel would have pegged as a music lover, but he smiled all the same, nodding up at his partner as warmly as if he were a fully rational civilian who had offered him a compliment. "Well, thank you, Rorschach. I'm glad you liked it."

"Hurm." He had growled, clearly uncomfortable, and had stalked out shortly thereafter. "Going on patrol." He'd growled by way of farewell, and dissapeared into the Nest, closing the door lightly behind him.

Daniel lurched to his feet, hitting a few stray buttons before he managed to hit the right one, putting Archie into autopilot. A strangled sob escaped him as he stumbled towards the back of the little ship, and he ran the back of his hand over his eyes roughly, trying to stem the tears.

"Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee," Daniel sang, up to his elbows in dishwater, scrubbing at a rather stubborn spot on the saucepan. "Now I know at last the secret of it AAAGH!" He finished with a yelp.

Rorschach drew his hand back from Dan's shoulder, the gloved fingers curling instinctively into a fist. "Hello, Daniel."

"R-Rorschach! I didn't hear you come in!" Daniel gasped, his eyes still rather wide behind his glasses. His eyes moved to the kitchen door, amazingly intact. And yet, Rorschach was inside. How had such a miracle occured?!

"Came in through the Nest." Rorschach growled, the blots on his mask shifting. "Didn't want to interrupt the concert."

Daniel flushed, embarrassed to have been caught off-footed by his former partner, and singing to boot. "Right. Ah, just ... washing some dishes. I guess I got a bit carried away." He finished a little quietly, noticing that Rorschach's interest had waned. He was now digging through the cupboard, same as usual, as if he'd been completely unaffected by Dan's singing.

Daniel had been washing dishes for a good ten minutes before Rorschach spoke again. "You know other songs?"

He paused momentarily, resisting the urge to turn back to look at Rorschach. "Uh, yeah, a few. Why, you got any requests?" A feeble joke; he expected a sharp retort from Rorschach, or some condemnation of love songs as 'liberal feel-good garbage'.

"Know the ángeles song?"

Daniel stopped, temporarily frozen. "The ... what?"

Rorschach 'hurm'ed softly to himself, displeased, and fell silent.

"I, uh, don't know any song like that." He turned, curious, to face Rorschach. "Where did you hear that song?"

Rorschach's face turned towards Dan's suspiciously, but when he saw sincere curiosity in the heavier man's expression, his scowl relented slightly. "Neighbor downstairs. Lots of squalling little kids. Always running around, making noise, yelling in Spanish." He said harshly, but Dan thought that his voice softened when he spoke again. "Moved away. Used to always sing to the children at night."

Daniel's brows furrowed in thought, and he shook his head, wiping his wet hands on his pants. "Well, I don't know very many Spanish songs."

Rorschach fell silent again, busying himself with his beans. Daniel eventually gave up on any further response, and turned his attention back to the dishes.

"What about the sunshine song?"

"What about-- what song is that?" Daniel asked, craning his head to look back at Rorschach.

"You know."

"No, I don't." Dan frowned, curious now. Why would Rorschach be asking about songs? "Can you hum it? Maybe I'd recognize it if--"

"NO."

"Well how am I supposed to know what it is if you don't tell me anything about it?" Daniel huffed, exasperated.

Rorschach fell silent again, and Daniel thought he was going to give up on this tack like he had before, when he finally mumbled something.

"Did you say something?" Dan asked casually, assuming it was another opening line to a tirade about 'hedonistic liberals' or something.

"You are my sunshine."

Daniel paused, and abandoned the dishes completely at this point to turn around and stare at Rorschach. "Excuse me?"

"The song. First line goes, 'you are my sunshine.'" He said gruffly, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the can of beans before him. "Can't remember the rest."

Daniel stared at him for a moment, too surprised to speak. "You are my sunshine?" He began tentatively, singing the first few notes.

Rorschach stared at the can for a moment more, seemingly impassive, but finally gave a tiny nod. "That one. The sunshine song."

"You ...like that?" Daniel asked dubiously, trying to hide his shock. Rorschach, the hardened vigilante, who would break your finger as soon as look at you, liked a song about /sunshine/? It was downright mind-boggling.

Rorschach stared at the can of beans in silence, but Daniel couldn't bring himself to look away.

"She sang to them. Every night." Rorschach said finally, his hands steepled in front of him on the table. Daniel only took particular notice of them when they began to shake, very softly. "Every night."

Daniel stared down at Rorschach, so full of anger, so full of secrets that it must be making him sick, and he reached out to him. Like a wounded animal, Rorschach moved away from his touch, and he glared reproachfully up at Daniel. Hell how he knew it was reproachful, what with that damn mask on, Daniel thought with a frown. Obligingly, he returned to the dishes, his shoulders slumped with defeat.

The two men sat there for several quiet moments, silent save for the sound of the occasional clink of the dishes in the sink.

Daniel slumped to the floor, sobbing unashamedly as he clutched Rorschach's hat to his chest. "I just want to keep it for posterity," he'd lied, and Adrian had shot him such a pitying, smug look, he'd wanted to punch his teeth down his throat. Now, he crumped the well-worn fedora to his chest, bawling uncontrollably into the maddening silence that filled Archie.

Rorschach had finally gotten to his feet, placing the empty can of beans into the trash can as he headed to the door. His had was on the knob when he paused, realizing that Daniel was saying something to him. It took a split-second for him to realize-- no, not saying; singing.

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy

When skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear,

How much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

The other night, dear

As I lay sleeping,

I dreamed I held you in my arms.

When I awoke, dear

I was mistaken.